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Anonymous #1

Don't even know what to call it
    #21314371 - 02/22/15 06:40 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

I'd like to say that I've experienced some "life" in my short time existing, but I can't say I've enjoyed the majority of it.

Having done psychedelics I have a much simpler understanding of it all than I used to, but I've also become apathetic toward a great majority of things.

I don't care to laugh at things any more, I find myself avoiding people and places, and I'm losing my friends. I still care about them, but I just have nothing to offer them any more. I have nothing to say, I'm content to sit and listen, but then no one talks.

So because of this I'd rather sit in solitude, read, think, listen to music, and grow lovely mushies. (this site has become my favorite)

Has anyone else had a similar experience?
If so, what do you do now to occupy your time?

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Anonymous #2

Re: Don't even know what to call it [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21315185 - 02/22/15 09:35 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

There's nothing wrong with being a loner for certain parts of our life, some people choose to stay loners their whole life's.

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Anonymous #3

Re: Don't even know what to call it [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #21315193 - 02/22/15 09:37 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

Sounds like thats the life for you, do whats in your heart.

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Anonymous #4

Re: Don't even know what to call it [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21316424 - 02/23/15 08:25 AM (9 years, 2 months ago)

I lock myself in my room pretty much every waking moment. I don't go out except to work and just every once in awhile go out to dinner with my wife. Other than that I spend my time binge watching TV shows. I don't feel depressed or anything about locking myself in the same room day in and day out. I just really don't care to do anything else. My past haunts me and the only time I'm not thinking of all the shit I've done and hating myself for who I am, is when I'm binge watching TV shows and movies. I just let myself get immersed in the story and block out the world. I know it's not really the healthiest way to deal with things but given my track record of self destructive behavior and how much I've been losing control over myself the last couple of years, it's probably the safest thing. Therapy doesn't help, medication doesn't help, nothing helps.

It's hard when the person you hate and despise the most in all of your life, is your own self.

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Anonymous #5

Re: Don't even know what to call it [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #21316437 - 02/23/15 08:31 AM (9 years, 2 months ago)

I'm finding that I like my alone time much more. I think it's just because my friends and I have different ideals as were getting a little older

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Anonymous #6

Re: Don't even know what to call it [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #21318331 - 02/23/15 03:14 PM (9 years, 2 months ago)

mmmm I am a loner too. I think part of me realized I spent too much of my younger days trying to make other people happy, and it was a waste of time. Most of those people were gone when I needed them. Now its all about me. I do things I enjoy, and worry less about other people.

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