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maui
Registered: 11/20/14
Posts: 512
Last seen: 2 months, 20 days
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I suck with relationships. I would appreciate some advice.
#21302348 - 02/20/15 06:27 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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Long story short: I've been talking to this girl for about 3 or so weeks. She came on to me and I liked her back. We started hanging outside of school for a bit but that isnt happening anymore. It always seems shes making excuses and it doesnt feel genuine anymore.
She only seems to want to hangout on the days we have chemistry quizzes (which coincidentally im doing very well in). Yet when we do hangout she will each play the part. Its very strange to me as id prefer seeing her more than once a week.
From what shes told me she sounds like she has a pretty wild past as far drugs and boys go so im starting to think that perhaps im just flat out being used and shes just playing the role as my girlfriend for a few hours to get better grades.
I know i basically answered my own question but I would like ideas on how to approach this (preferably not over text messages, which seems to be our only form of communication.)
Thanks guys.
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EllisDSox
King Hella!

Registered: 01/22/07
Posts: 25,730
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Re: I suck with relationships. I would appreciate some advice. [Re: maui]
#21302377 - 02/20/15 06:39 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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When you do see her are you having sex and suchlike, or is it literally just flirtation?
She may just not like to get ultra clingy within an early time frame. I'm kind of on the other side of a similar thing right now, getting 20 texts a day from someone I've known 3 weeks and finding it pretty weird, then being accused of dodging her if I only see her once or twice a week.
People are really different about romantic things, and while you may want to leap straight into deadly serious boyfriend/girlfriend mode and talk every day, she may have a different attitude, or recently have been hurt or any number of things.
-------------------- Disclaimer: If you have any kind of heart condition, my posts are not for you. You could literally die from reading the first couple of words in any one of them. Scroll down the page, live your life and prosper, but don't read my posts because your heart will probably explode. I am not joking.
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maui
Registered: 11/20/14
Posts: 512
Last seen: 2 months, 20 days
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Re: I suck with relationships. I would appreciate some advice. [Re: EllisDSox]
#21302406 - 02/20/15 06:53 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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Holding hands, kissing, touching, etc... We haven't really had an opportunity to do anything else if she wanted to at the moment.
And I wouldn't find it so strange if she wasn't so clingy at the beginning. She was really shy and always texting me and sending me hearts after I think it was day one. Now that isn't happening at all. At first it felt real but now... not so much. I guess I will talk to her about it when I see her next.
On a side note she is a couple of my classes... Would you advise someone to get involved with someone else in their class? I don't take break ups too well and tend to lose motivation for months afterward.
I've blocked her on my phone and for some strange reason it feels liberating. I don't fuck know I like this girl but its just stressing me out and my gut says its no good.
Thanks for your reply.
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Larrythescaryrex
teardrop on the fire



Registered: 07/19/00
Posts: 11,004
Loc: further down the spiral
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: I suck with relationships. I would appreciate some advice. [Re: EllisDSox]
#21302407 - 02/20/15 06:53 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'd probably say some to her like
"Hey quiz day this week I'm busy so if you want to study you'll need to come over on [insert other day here]" say it pretty flat and emotionaless. If she really really likes you she'll probably immediately defend and say something like "Hey, I like hanging out not just to study." If she doesn't say that but comes over, ask her in person to go on a date. Call it a date. Have a specific activity and time, and a back up if that is a bad time or activity. If she says no, then you have a study buddy or you're a free tutor. You can then choose to be ok with it, tell her you need her to start paying you as a tutor, or tell her to gtfo. {I suppose you could ask her if she has any single friends she'd set you up with, alternatively)
-------------------- RIP Acidic_Sloth Sunset_Mission said: "larry the scary rex verily scary when thoroughly vexed invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex mercifully massacring memories masterfully relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs" April 24th 2011
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Larrythescaryrex
teardrop on the fire



Registered: 07/19/00
Posts: 11,004
Loc: further down the spiral
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: I suck with relationships. I would appreciate some advice. [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
#21302417 - 02/20/15 06:57 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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oh more info.
Do you sit together in your classes and like walk together to them or shit like that. I don't know the layout of your campus clearly. I dated girls that lived in my dorm so I was always walking with and going to the food court with them, and so forth
-------------------- RIP Acidic_Sloth Sunset_Mission said: "larry the scary rex verily scary when thoroughly vexed invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex mercifully massacring memories masterfully relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs" April 24th 2011
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EllisDSox
King Hella!

Registered: 01/22/07
Posts: 25,730
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Re: I suck with relationships. I would appreciate some advice. [Re: maui]
#21302440 - 02/20/15 07:07 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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If you're feeling ignored, you're usually being ignored in real life. Call her out on it and see what happens. Worst case scenario you were right and she's gone from you.
-------------------- Disclaimer: If you have any kind of heart condition, my posts are not for you. You could literally die from reading the first couple of words in any one of them. Scroll down the page, live your life and prosper, but don't read my posts because your heart will probably explode. I am not joking.
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theonlysun81
Long Time Lurker, Recent Member


Registered: 05/11/12
Posts: 1,712
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: I suck with relationships. I would appreciate some advice. [Re: EllisDSox]
#21302669 - 02/20/15 08:26 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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just tell her she's using you, it'll either become obvious or more murky, either way makes for a great episode
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SoloTrip
Help Ever, Hurt Never


Registered: 12/30/14
Posts: 1,059
Loc:
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Re: I suck with relationships. I would appreciate some advice. [Re: theonlysun81]
#21302748 - 02/20/15 08:45 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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Definitely be prepared for the possibility of a hookup which could go sour before the end of the semester. That could be hugely distracting. She might have pictured in her mind that possibility as well which is why she is (wisely IMO) taking it slow. (I wouldn't block her though for no good reason! Chick could be your future wife.)
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Edited by SoloTrip (02/20/15 08:47 AM)
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automan
blasted chipmunk


Registered: 09/18/03
Posts: 8,272
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Re: I suck with relationships. I would appreciate some advice. [Re: maui]
#21302990 - 02/20/15 09:34 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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What do you have to offer her other than a study partner?
What do you and your boys do for fun? What do you do for fun without her? If you want girls to want to date you, you can't be trying to find a girl to do fun things with. You need to already be doing fun things and leading a rich life, then ask girls to join you on the things you are already doing. If a girl says no, then fuck it. You are still doing fun and interesting things.
-------------------- No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. ~ Niels Bohr
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SoloTrip
Help Ever, Hurt Never


Registered: 12/30/14
Posts: 1,059
Loc:
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Re: I suck with relationships. I would appreciate some advice. [Re: automan]
#21303526 - 02/20/15 11:30 AM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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Oh study group can get you further than you think Believe Me. It took me 10 years to get my 4 year degree ha ha. It's not cheating to form study groups nor is it necessarily taking advantage of you because teaching concepts to someone else is the best practice for yourself. You could nail her and the tests both if you do this right lol.
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Edited by SoloTrip (02/20/15 11:36 AM)
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: I suck with relationships. I would appreciate some advice. [Re: SoloTrip]
#21303721 - 02/20/15 12:11 PM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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Don't do it man. Sounds like she just needs the grades and if she really does like you and you guys break up you'll have to see her every fucking class. Just my 2 cents
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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sun_spots
Good boob day


Registered: 02/27/10
Posts: 14,306
Loc: Nirvana
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: I suck with relationships. I would appreciate some advice. [Re: maui]
#21303806 - 02/20/15 12:28 PM (9 years, 2 months ago) |
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It sounds like she's just not as into you as you are into her, but she still wants to study and make out with you while keeping things very casual. If you have a problem taking things at face value, the fair thing to do would be to tell her how you feel and go from there. Just remember that your feelings for her do not constitute an obligation on her part to reciprocate, nor are you obligated to help her with homework. So if you talk to her and discover she's not that into you, don't beat yourself up over cutting things off with her. She'll find another study buddy and you'll be free to pursue a relationship with someone else. If she is interested in taking things deeper with you, go for it. The only way to find out is to talk to her.
-------------------- ShiVersblood said: shut ur fucking mouth. before a penis is are be enters LordSenate said: Cheese poop... Who gives a fuck gotta eat lots of cheese.
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