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The rain falls with soft determination from a slate grey sky, misting over the street and sidewalk. It's been doing this for quite some time, and i wonder if it'll ever give up and allow a change of season to show through. I continue walking down the sidewalk, seing no one out to share my reverie of dampness and near twilight. "where am i going?", i wonder, casting my thoughts at the everpresent cloudcover in hope of an answer, enlightement, a sign, anything dammit. No answer, just rain, seeping into my clothes, fogging my glasses, filling my skin, drowning my soul. The temperature is warm, the rain like a bath doled out in uncountable doses, but never quite enough to make you feel clean...just a sad, creeping wetness that smears the dirt and ash of past sins around. If it keeps up like this, my entire life's story of lies and losses will ride with me on my skin, an oily layer of languish riding on my surface, there for all who would care to see. At this point, i think, even that attention would be better than this damp solitude that i've been walking through for a fractured and faintly remembered time. A gust of wind dashs across the road, intent on pushing everything in its path aside, with such determination that my feet slip on the slick sidewalk. Somehow the drizzle isnt enough torment to send my way. Time passes...miles pass by in a fog of dissillusionment and dream. Lost in the rythym of my footsteps, i dont know how long the person beside me has been there. Daring fate to intervene, daring myself to share my space, i chance a look to the side. This girl, short, slim and apparently somnambulent, is matching my pace. Some small part of myself is glad not to be alone in this apparent purgatory...the slight lift that i get from the nearness of another is quickly and deliberately cached alongside my waning ember of hope. We continue in silence. At some point down the road, a rage seizes me.. Why is she here? What does she think she's doing...this is my walk in the rain, not hers! Who does she think she is, interrupting my solitude? Almost as a response, she glances sideways and smiles slightly. Thunder rolls, far, far in the distance, sounding nearly an echo of itself. The words i hear from here startle me..such a sweet voice, but so filled with despair and pain. I cant help but identify with it, despite my complete lack of association with her. "Do you mind the rain?" She says, curious and numb at the same time. "No. I hate it...it makes me feel isolated and lost, as if no one existed except myself." Say i, sounding far more bitter than i ever remember being. "well, its always raining somewhere...but at least we've been walking together, so maybe we're not really alone." This comment seizes my thoughts, moving me in a new circle that i havent seen in ages. She walks away as i stand, shocked and stupified at the change in myself from just those few words. She crests the hill, and then slowly dissapears in what could be an instant or an eternity. The rain slackens, then stops, leaving a heavy mist that swirls around my feet...and the sun shows thru the clouds a little brighter than before.
-------------------- "..all those molecules thrashing their kinky little tails, hot for destiny and the street." Gibson
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