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morrowasted
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Being in love versus the emotion of love 2
#21277946 - 02/15/15 02:16 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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Recently I have come to think that once you past a certain point in your personal development, it is impossible to "fall" in love. I read a really good book recently about reassessing the way we look at how we relate to our emotions, in terms of who is in control (us, or the emotions). Once a person has realized that they are actually responsible for their emotions, their emotions become their passions. Thus, eventually, rather than falling in love, one chooses to be passionate about someone, and feelings of love develop.
I was called a buzzkill for explaining this to someone recently.
To me, it all depends on how you look at it. When you "fall in love", you are playing the role of a victim: the victim of your emotional content, and you lack the freedom of choice regarding the decision of who will be the object of your love. When you choose the person you love according to your passion, you gain the freedom to choose the object of your love.
To be in a passion you good may do. But no good when a passion is in you. William Blake
The concept of "being in love" comes, in my opinion, from the false association of emotion with feeling. Feelings are not, in fact, emotions. One can have "feelings" without any emotion being present, and one can have emotions without "feeling" anything. I may get butterflies in my stomach when I talk to a certain person, but that does not mean that I have any emotional connection with them. I may be angry with someone and not presently be feeling anything at all.
Many people have come to identify having strong and pleasant feelings with the phrase "being in love". But these feelings are in fact one in the same as taking a drug. Our feelings are produced by chemical responses in the brain, just as a drug modifies these chemical responses. Homeostatic mechanisms in the brain make it nearly impossible for these chemical responses to be maintained over any significant period, whether in response to a drug or to a person. For this reason, the strong feelings of being "in love" fade with time.
Thus, the emotion called love, if it is to be maintained as existing, must be divorced from mere feelings. A decision to be passionate about someone regardless of one's present feelings comes from a rational rather than a physiological center. This rational center allows for a greater possibility of the maintenance of the emotion over time.
Of course, if one is simply looking to get high on another person, that is another ambition altogether.
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happydegenerate
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Re: Being in love versus the emotion of love [Re: morrowasted] 2
#21278064 - 02/15/15 02:40 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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I agree with this very much so.
Lately I've been thinking about how feelings and emotions are different, and are often confused for each other, which you explain well enough in the op.
I "fell in love" at fourteen. It was a daily rush of emotions back then. It was something I could not control. It was all chemical. Then I compare that to someone I love in such a way that I'd be happy for if she got married to someone that makes her happy. I wouldn't be jealous. Someone who I've never even lusted over, but always felt as if the circumstances were different, could have been the "one"; my best friend. Someone who I will probably think about in old age and remember fondly and hope that her life turned out the way she wanted it to and lived happily all through it. With this person, I'm not in love, I just love her without the rush of emotions. It's just it's own thing that exists and that I cant really define or place a label on. Its a feeling that's lasted, even as Ive been emotionally dead these passed few years.
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akira_akuma
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Re: Being in love versus the emotion of love [Re: happydegenerate]
#21279227 - 02/15/15 06:39 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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subject matter that i have to think about?
hell no. Grateful Dead brah.
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sun_spots
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Re: Being in love versus the emotion of love [Re: morrowasted]
#21279509 - 02/15/15 07:30 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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I fall in love on a daily basis.
-------------------- ShiVersblood said: shut ur fucking mouth. before a penis is are be enters LordSenate said: Cheese poop... Who gives a fuck gotta eat lots of cheese.
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akira_akuma
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Re: Being in love versus the emotion of love [Re: sun_spots]
#21279521 - 02/15/15 07:31 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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it's a commonality.
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mpd
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Re: Being in love versus the emotion of love [Re: akira_akuma]
#21279545 - 02/15/15 07:35 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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I fell in love for thirty plus years. Kind of blows a hole in OP's theory.
-------------------- There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.
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Dark_Star
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Re: Being in love versus the emotion of love [Re: morrowasted]
#21279778 - 02/15/15 08:35 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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You never develop past the point of falling in love. It can always happen. Doesn't matter how old you are.
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Hobozen


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Re: Being in love versus the emotion of love [Re: mpd]
#21279842 - 02/15/15 08:50 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
mpd said: I fell in love for thirty plus years.
with fox news
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morrowasted
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Re: Being in love versus the emotion of love [Re: Dark_Star]
#21279962 - 02/15/15 09:23 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Dark_Star said: You never develop past the point of falling in love. It can always happen. Doesn't matter how old you are.
In the sense that you can never stop the process of having positive physiological responses responses to certain people, I agree with you. I think, however, that after a certain point it becomes impossible for a person to honestly call their own physiology by the name love. They may do it, but only at the expense of being dishonest with themselves. This is not to say that such a response cannot lead to love. But actual love, as an emotion, is centered in the rational rather than the physical.
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morrowasted
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Re: Being in love versus the emotion of love [Re: sun_spots]
#21279971 - 02/15/15 09:25 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
sun_spots said: I fall in love on a daily basis.
I would contend that you reaffirm your love, as the object of your passion, on a daily basis.
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Dark_Star
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Re: Being in love versus the emotion of love [Re: morrowasted]
#21279974 - 02/15/15 09:25 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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You would be wrong, and there are countless old people that will tell you that. Everything that we experience is physiologically based. Doesn't make it any less real.
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Envix
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Re: Being in love versus the emotion of love [Re: morrowasted]
#21279980 - 02/15/15 09:26 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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kinda hard to find love when you're hung up on someone who doesn't love you
-------------------- smack a hoe out this dimension continue my ascension -bhad bhabie rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b
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morrowasted
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Re: Being in love versus the emotion of love [Re: Dark_Star]
#21279992 - 02/15/15 09:28 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Dark_Star said: You would be wrong, and there are countless old people that will tell you that. Everything that we experience is physiologically based. Doesn't make it any less real.
I believe that your inclination to disagree with me comes from your unwillingness to divorce your mentality from the linguistic scaffolds around which it is constructed. I am not asking you to believe that what you experience is not real, I am merely suggesting that it be called something else.
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Envix
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Re: Being in love versus the emotion of love [Re: morrowasted]
#21280014 - 02/15/15 09:34 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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emotions exist on a spectrum like frequency
people who are very emotional go up and down the spectrum's polarities at the far ends
people who are more rational and logical mostly stay within the middle part of the spectrum, rarely reaching the polar ends..
but human emotions can not be directly controlled.. only indirectly.
if you're looking to find more emotion in your life, or searching for more feels, try getting in-touch with those aspects of yourself which are more receptive to feelings rather than thoughts
that's not so easy for some people
i'm in love with music. so music helps me a lot with that
-------------------- smack a hoe out this dimension continue my ascension -bhad bhabie rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b
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morrowasted
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Re: Being in love versus the emotion of love [Re: Envix]
#21280036 - 02/15/15 09:43 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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I guess I am asking too much by trying to get people to dissociate the idea of emotions from the idea of feelings.
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Ezuma
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Re: Being in love versus the emotion of love [Re: morrowasted]
#21280039 - 02/15/15 09:43 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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Semantics essentially. I do think though love is an unfortunate word, given that it can mean so many things. We ought to have several terms denoting each main type of love, like the greeks. I very much believe in MY version of love however
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Shiithead
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Re: Being in love versus the emotion of love [Re: Ezuma]
#21280047 - 02/15/15 09:45 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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Love, like time, is relevant. What is love to one might be enslavement to another. The only true way to love, IMHO, is to preach the good and Holy Name of Jesus Christ.
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Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Psalm 12:6 The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Hebrews 11:3 Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear. Revelation 3:11 Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.
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morrowasted
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Re: Being in love versus the emotion of love [Re: Ezuma]
#21280050 - 02/15/15 09:46 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Ezuma said: Semantics essentially. I do think though love is an unfortunate word, given that it can mean so many things. We ought to have several terms denoting each main type of love, like the greeks. I very much believe in MY version of love however
it is, but the book I read, The Passions, makes a good case for importance of semantics. The whole model of emotions, which he calls the hydraulic model, allows us to forsake responsibility for them.
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morrowasted
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Re: Being in love versus the emotion of love [Re: Shiithead]
#21280054 - 02/15/15 09:47 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Shiithead said: Love, like time, is relevant. What is love to one might be enslavement to another. The only true way to love, IMHO, is to preach the good and Holy Name of Jesus Christ.
this is the second time you've used relevant when you should have used relative
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Ezuma
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Re: Being in love versus the emotion of love [Re: morrowasted]
#21280079 - 02/15/15 09:52 PM (9 years, 3 months ago) |
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Yes there is an awful lot of people failing to own up and accept responsibility, partly because we are fed a lot of rubbish on a daily basis about what 'love' means or what 'emotions' can or ought to do to us. However I do think if one actually loves another, that passion will be strong and influence you, even into making clearly stupid or seemingly selfless decisions. But the same goes for familial love
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