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Offlinesykobish
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Have we become too quick to judge?
    #2127790 - 11/21/03 05:54 PM (13 years, 20 days ago)

I posted this on another board.. but also wanted to share it with you all as well.

I was sitting in English class today and we were discussing an article about a lady who lives on the streets here in Toronto.

What we were assigned to do was to read the article and debate what our opinions about it were. I was disturbed by some of my classmates interpretations.

For the most part, after reading about this woman and learning more about her character, the majority of the class had come to the conclusion that she was a very good hearted and compassionate woman who just had a rough go at life and was unable to deal with her lifes issues.

When the question "Do you think she is a helpful part of our society?" was asked, one lady disagreed. In the article it had said that one of the few things the lady enjoyed doing, was talking to the elderly and children in the park. She enjoyed bringing happiness to people just by acknowledging that they were there. By talking to them and being considerate and compassionate. To me, that is someone who is helpful in our society. Not many people take the time out of their busy schedules to do such a thing. Everyone is always in such a rush and care only about themselves.

The lady in my class had said that she didn't want a lady 'like that' talking to her children. I can understand if she had known nothing about this woman. It can be a scary when a stranger comes up to you and talks to you because there are alot of 'not so nice' people out there. But the article clearly stated that she was not like that. She just likes people and likes to talk to people, possibly in the hopes to spread the idea that we should all be considerate and kind to those around us.

Therefore, i ask the question: Have we become too quick to judge?

Should we treat people unkindly or as tho they are a plague of some sort just because of the way they may look on the outside? Or because they live on the street? That makes me recall the saying "Don't judge a book by it's cover."

In my opinion, people these days are getting too caught up in their preoccupation. Their only concerns seem to be money, materials and status. Have we forgotten what it's like to be human? Is it so hard for us to smile at a stranger on the street or stand up on the bus to let an elderly person sit down? If it is, what is going to become of us years down the road? What happened to compassion and caring about the feelings and comfortability of our fellow humans?

This is an issue that really saddens me so i felt the need to bring it to others attention.

We need to become human.. Why were we given the ability to be compassionate and be empathetic, if we weren't suppose to be?


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Offlinedebianlinux
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Re: Have we become too quick to judge? [Re: sykobish]
    #2127796 - 11/21/03 05:57 PM (13 years, 20 days ago)

Quote:

sykobish said:
Why were we given the ability to be compassionate and be empathetic, if we weren't suppose to be?





Okay, I'll pay devil's advocate... Why were we given the ability to be cold, selfish, heartless, and apathetic if we weren't supposed to be?


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OfflineDruginduced
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Post deleted by Administrator [Re: sykobish]
    #2127810 - 11/21/03 06:07 PM (13 years, 20 days ago)



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Re: Have we become too quick to judge? [Re: sykobish]
    #2127822 - 11/21/03 06:16 PM (13 years, 20 days ago)

People are too quick to ignore.


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Offlinesykobish
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Re: Have we become too quick to judge? [Re: debianlinux]
    #2127893 - 11/21/03 06:54 PM (13 years, 20 days ago)

Quote:

debianlinux said:
Quote:

sykobish said:
Why were we given the ability to be compassionate and be empathetic, if we weren't suppose to be?





Okay, I'll pay devil's advocate... Why were we given the ability to be cold, selfish, heartless, and apathetic if we weren't supposed to be?




Good question. I agree that sometimes we should be those things, depending on the situation. But everyone does deserve a chance, or two. Being positive has a much better outcome then being negative. It's also much more healthier.


--------------------
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-={Nite-Crew}=-

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To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
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Offlinesykobish
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Re: Have we become too quick to judge? [Re: Druginduced]
    #2127909 - 11/21/03 06:58 PM (13 years, 20 days ago)

Quote:

RydawgSupreme said:
I say we round all "those people" up and send them of to an island with their shpping carts. then we'll see just how much they can contribute to their own society when they dont have people who actually do work to make their living to bum change and beer money off of. 




That's a very close-minded opinion. :frown: There are alot of good people out there that have problems and who can't deal with certain things they've had to endure, which may have contributed to them being where they are today.  Is it necessarily their fault?  Or did society just feel they weren't up to standard and cast them out?

I speak with compassion because i was there.  I used to live on the streets for 2 years.  I had some horrible things happen in my life and it got to me.  I was unable to deal with what i was being forced to deal with, so i took to the streets.  It took alot of strength and determination to get out of that life.  But i did it.  As can the people who are there now.  It takes time.  And without help, it's very hard to do such a thing.

Alot of what these people lack is hope.  I'm not saying all of the people on the streets WANT help.  Some just want to live off other people.  But there are alot of people there that DON'T WANT to be there.  Alot of them feel there is no one out there that cares.


--------------------
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-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
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Offlinesykobish
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Re: Have we become too quick to judge? [Re: ArmFromTheAbyss]
    #2127915 - 11/21/03 07:03 PM (13 years, 20 days ago)

Quote:

ArmFromTheAbyss1 said:
People are too quick to ignore.




Very true. Many people ignore because they feel they are not benefitting by helping. No personal materialistic gain. That goes back to the preoccupation that we are caught in. We have become selfish, not all, but alot of us. Most of which will not do anything nice unless it results in them getting something out of it.

What people don't realize is that you DO benefit. You benefit by knowing that you are human. That you helped someone. That you may have just made the world a little bit better because that person may take your kindness and pass it on to someone else who is in need of it.


--------------------
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
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OfflineDruginduced
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Post deleted by Administrator [Re: sykobish]
    #2127927 - 11/21/03 07:09 PM (13 years, 20 days ago)



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Offlinesykobish
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Re: Have we become too quick to judge? [Re: Druginduced]
    #2128047 - 11/21/03 07:54 PM (13 years, 20 days ago)

Hmm.. I think you've proven my question to be correct. Have we become too quick to judge? The answer is yes.

I got off the street cuz someone was willing to give me that little bit of help i needed. That little bit of hope. I'm not saying go out there and take someone into your home, pay their way, etc.. It's true that if you don't want to help yourself, you can't be helped. But we all need a hand sometime in our life. I got where i am now because of my friends and because people helped me. I'm in school now because my friends helped me realize it's something i need to do. They didn't make me, they didn't do it for me. I did it. But as i said, sometimes we all need a little help.

About distiguishing between people who want help and people who want a free handout.. That is up to you to decide. You have to be able to see thru someones facade. Be a good judge of character. And just because someone isn't worthy of your help, doesn't mean you should close up and never give that chance to another person.

These people have to realize that no one does care about them.

Someone out there does. I do. And i'd like to think i'm not the only one.


--------------------
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
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Onlinewrestler_az
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Re: Have we become too quick to judge? [Re: sykobish]
    #2128246 - 11/21/03 09:30 PM (13 years, 20 days ago)

Quote:

That is up to you to decide. You have to be able to see thru someones facade. Be a good judge of character.






from the looks of your posts, i got the impression you thought this was something you werent supposed to do? now your saying its ok?


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  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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Offlinecanid
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Re: Have we become too quick to judge? [Re: wrestler_az]
    #2128612 - 11/22/03 02:24 AM (13 years, 19 days ago)

everyone i know of makes judgments. it can be a system of classification either to better understand, or to broadly define, for simplicity's sake, what a person sees in the world, in life, in every aspect of the human experience.

the test, as i see it, comes in the nature of your classification. do you trust wholly the induction, and assume similarity to signify exactness, or do you compare observation in each encounter with the previous. do you take pains to be objective, fully knowing that complete objectivity is a futile, but still worthy pursuit?



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OfflineAsanteA
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Re: Have we become too quick to judge? [Re: sykobish]
    #2129097 - 11/22/03 02:16 PM (13 years, 19 days ago)

Hmm. lemme pass judgement on this matter :smirk:

One of my kind?
Hostile?
Trust it?
Associate?
Goodlooking?
Healthy?
High in the hierarchy?
Favorably fuckable?

These questions predate humanity in our pre-human ancestors and in fact run rife through the animal kingdom.

I've got this sweet tigred european shorthair tomcat. He's such a charmer especially when he wants something and he'll trick you into giving him what he likes. (let's get real on our pets!) So he lies on your lap while you stroke him and should you stop before he's done being loved he gets your attention and basically purring signals: "I want this!"

But then this huge tomcat appears on the neighbours garage roof. Immediately cute little kitty sits up. He stretches his neck as he raises his head and fixes his eyes on the other tomcat with an expression that's the kitty equivalent of: "Fukinel! It's that black-and-white bastard again invading my property and trying to steal my pussy!" He demands to be let out the door (sweetly) and then kicks the huge cat's ass without any mercy.
He HATES that cat: this beast is no good and needs a clawing!

Back on the topic!
Passing judgement predates humanity and you see it throughout the animal kingdom. A bird sizing up a possible mate, a fish going: is this the kind of sea anemone that stings? A tarantula deciding he can take the mouse and so forth. People say animals are dumb. Well, I guess people tend to project their selves over others. Throughout the animal kingdom you see stuff being learned, generalisations made and acted upon. A python -decides- if he can grub the chinchilla based on his current body size as compared to the fat critter's bulk. If he makes a mistake he can't spit it and will choke on the beastie.
Instinct?
I have trained my cat to come and meow when he wants out. If I'm busy he'll insist. I will feel uncomfortable after a while, not by the noise of meowing but seeing how he insists and I'm deliberately ignoring him. The furball plays me! So basically.. Who has been training who? Its a mutual thing so I really don't see how any human behaviour couldn't be dubbed "instinct". If the phone rings you pick it up. If you don't it feels "not right" somehow. Ain't that instinct? Or is learned behavior when performed by humans suddenly something completely different from the learned behavior of another species?

Passing judgement is at the core of our behaviors and chiseled in our DNA. Unfortunately passing generalized judgement is equally common and all these things cause a lot of grief throughout the ages. Ever seen a really fat, casually dressed guy without glasses that really looked remarkably intelligent, like the wisest guy you ever saw? Well there you have it.

Think about this. There is this kid that looks like a total and utter bastard. Throughout the years he always gets treated like he is. Well, one day he says: "Fuck you guys! I do not give a hoolahoop what all of you think and you'd better not fuck with me 'cause I'll kick yer goddamn ass!" and the bastard-looking kid turns into a bastard that looks it too and when he finally grabs a two-by-four and starts swinging it the media will come and his neighbours will say: "we always knew he was a bastard, you could never trust him!". Not a shred of pun intended here. Sometimes generalisations become self-fulfilling prophecies. The stud gets the girl and the nerd gets a mouse-arm without ever having touched a computer.
Experiment: take a week or so to -REALLY LOOK- how media and movies etc. deal with stereotyping and generalisation.
Palestinians? Do the pics CNN shows of rogue state presidents make them look good? Close your eyes: "What does a terrorist look like?"
"How does a smart guy look?" Everybody has mental images. Really look at them and blush a deep crimson my fellow Shroomerites! 


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OfflineCeeEssGee
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Re: Have we become too quick to judge? [Re: sykobish]
    #2131004 - 11/23/03 08:38 PM (13 years, 18 days ago)

Answer: yes. I've always been (I hope) a nice person, to people who don't do anything to deserve otherwise. This included giving change/food/coffee to homeless. I didn't truly understand why we needed to do this until I worked with my dad on "out of the cold."

This is a program all over the Toronto area that takes in homeless people (we call them "guests"..), on a first name basis only, gave them food, clothing, toiletries, etc, and, if they wish, a shelter for the night. (We use churches, mosques, and synagogues for the shelters/dining halls)

I have watched these people, and it scares me. It scares me because without a doubt, *every* single one of them will have some sort of disability, sickness, *addiction*, and such. Please keep in mind that this does not usually apply to the younger "guests", which we seem to get very few of. I can't completely understand why they are in their situation, so I can't say anything for them.

The older ones though: they really can *not* work. Or, at least, they can't in the state that they're in. Some of them, miraculously, do clean up, but unfortunately, most of them will never leave their state. They are human beings. They are a product of our darwinistic monetary-based society, and it is our duty to help them, no matter what the costs (and I don't just mean monetary).

So, are people quick to judge? Yes. They assume that these people are lazy, but good god, they are not. Some of them are willing to walk 1.5-2 hours in freezing weather to our temple. The reason these people are in this state is not because they won't work, its because they can't.

To be honest, because of my experience with the "guests", I am even more dubious to just give change, because in most cases, it hurts them more than helps them. I still can't stand to see the younger ones though, because most of the time that can be completely avoided. But if I can't give change (which, I really do, even though I have that nagging feel that it'll just be another bottle of rubbing alcohol..), I will do something else, like ask them if they want something to eat, or drink.

Is that really so much to ask? I hardly have limitless personal funds, but this is still very easy to do. If someone doesn't want to give money for afformentioned reasons above, then volunteer at a shelter. They need people, and anyone who has the time to read this post probably has time to do a few hours of volunteer work.


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Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!


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Offlinesykobish
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Re: Have we become too quick to judge? [Re: wrestler_az]
    #2132501 - 11/24/03 02:52 PM (13 years, 17 days ago)

Quote:

wrestler_az said:
Quote:

That is up to you to decide. You have to be able to see thru someones facade. Be a good judge of character.






from the looks of your posts, i got the impression you thought this was something you werent supposed to do? now your saying its ok?




I meant it in the context of "Don't judge a book by it's cover" but don't be too quick to trust. Basically meaning, everyone deserves a chance.. and until they give you any reason to doubt, why not be civil and human?


--------------------
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
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Offlinesykobish
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Re: Have we become too quick to judge? [Re: Asante]
    #2132550 - 11/24/03 03:17 PM (13 years, 17 days ago)

Very good post. I agree and it's sad. We have automatic mental images the second someone says something. What really bothered me about the lady in my class saying what she did, is that it was AFTER she already had a good idea of what the lady on the street was like, character wise and she STILL said she wouldn't talk to her or that she didn't want her kid talking to her. Why? It's clear that the woman on the street is harmless.. but still, because of her physical appearance and her situation, she will be ignored and looked down upon. For what? Because this world is a horrible place to live sometimes..


--------------------
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
Global Living Space


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OfflineCeeEssGee
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Re: Have we become too quick to judge? [Re: CeeEssGee]
    #2132681 - 11/24/03 04:18 PM (13 years, 17 days ago)

Uh, yeah, I just noticed that my post was completely off-topic, sorry.  :confused:

Regardless, not allowing this lady to speak to children would be ridiculous.  It does exactly the opposite of helping, it would make her less associated with other people, and decrease the possibilities that she can be helped.


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Why, sirrah, why may a caudled fillhorse be deemed the brother to a hiren candle in the night? Withal, because a candle may be greased, yet a fillhorse be without a fat argier!


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OfflineDaddy_X
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Re: Have we become too quick to judge? [Re: sykobish]
    #2139097 - 11/27/03 01:05 AM (13 years, 14 days ago)

Quote:

sykobish said:
There are alot of good people out there that have problems and who can't deal with certain things they've had to endure, which may have contributed to them being where they are today. Is it necessarily their fault? Or did society just feel they weren't up to standard and cast them out?





right..


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Offlinesykobish
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Re: Have we become too quick to judge? [Re: Daddy_X]
    #2139999 - 11/27/03 12:17 PM (13 years, 14 days ago)

Hey Daddy. Long time no see. I don't quite understand your reply. heh Wanna elaborate?


--------------------
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
Global Living Space


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