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Anonymous #1

How to get a date with a busy person
    #21244369 - 02/08/15 03:28 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

There's this girl and she seems pretty into me, but every time I try to make a date with her she's busy. I don't think she's trying to avoid it as she continues to text me and she really does have a lot going on lately.

But last night for example she was talking about how she wanted Chinese food, so i was like we should get Chinese together sometime! And she said that'd be great so i asked her when and where and she named some place and she said as far as when it'll be im unsure it depends what is going on at work this week. And then we haven't talked about it since. I dont want to be pushy and just be like "ok wea are going to get Chinese this week, so pick a day" but at the same time i feel like ill continue to miss my opportunity if i am not more assertive

What should i do

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OfflineSagescruffy
CH
Male


Registered: 10/30/09
Posts: 2,011
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 9 months, 28 days
Re: How to get a date with a busy person [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21244495 - 02/08/15 04:05 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Have you two ever met in person before?


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Love.

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Anonymous #1

Re: How to get a date with a busy person [Re: Sagescruffy]
    #21244514 - 02/08/15 04:12 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Yes we have but that was in July. But we see each other a few times a week because we go to the same college but she's usually with her friends and im usually with mine so neither of us ever go up and say hello, and typically we are heading to classes so we don't have much time to talk anyway at school, which i why i was trying to plan a date so that we could catch up

But we do text fairly often

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OfflineSagescruffy
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Male


Registered: 10/30/09
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Last seen: 9 months, 28 days
Re: How to get a date with a busy person [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21244534 - 02/08/15 04:17 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Oh, well that's interesting. She wasn't able to make time to have a meal with you or a coffee in over half a year?


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Love.

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Offlinegref
Philosoraptor


Registered: 01/28/10
Posts: 1,143
Last seen: 10 months, 26 days
Re: How to get a date with a busy person [Re: Anonymous #1] * 3
    #21244574 - 02/08/15 04:29 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Yes we have but that was in July. But we see each other a few times a week because we go to the same college but she's usually with her friends and im usually with mine so neither of us ever go up and say hello
But we do text fairly often




You texting her all the time and asking her out but you won't say hi when she's around? lol bad way to go.

You expect her to make the moves? No you gotta make them. Who cares if she's with her friends, go up and talk to them, flirt with her friends while you're at it. Ask her out while you're there.
Ask her when she's free, if she doesn't give you any time that she's free then that means she's not interested, sorry buddy. Hopefully she'll say something like "I'm free Monday after 5" and be like "Okay cool this place at that time."

If she likes you asking her out should be easy, if she makes it difficult that just means she's not interested. Very rarely will a girl tell a guy straight up "Sorry I'm not interested" you gotta read between the lines.

Worst case scenario you date one of the other 3 billion women of the planet.

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Anonymous #1

Re: How to get a date with a busy person [Re: Sagescruffy]
    #21244947 - 02/08/15 05:51 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Sagescruffy said:
Oh, well that's interesting. She wasn't able to make time to have a meal with you or a coffee in over half a year?




No we just started talking again recently

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Invisiblepirate-blues
Female

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,815
Re: How to get a date with a busy person [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21244987 - 02/08/15 05:59 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Honestly, as a busy and also somewhat aloof person, I can kind of understand the situation. Especially because there have been times in my life where I explicitly avoid dating, including going out with guys who I feel kind of into.

The only time I got wrangled during one of those periods was when I couldn't avoid the guy I ended up dating, because we were coworkers and we just grew to like each other a lot over time. If someone is really, really into you, they'll make time for you. It's really hard when you're still trying to get to know a person, though. I would honestly be a little bit more direct and ask her if she'd like to get a drink or something "sometime this month". It will give her a wide berth of time to plan.

Unless this is a particularly rough month and she makes plans with you for next month, then I would focus your efforts elsewhere. it's possible she IS into you, but sometimes people really don't have room(either emotionally, or literally they are just really fucking busy and stressed) for dating people.

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Invisiblebadchad
Mad Scientist

Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 13,379
Re: How to get a date with a busy person [Re: Sagescruffy] * 1
    #21247618 - 02/09/15 10:47 AM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Sagescruffy said:
She wasn't able to make time to have a meal with you or a coffee in over half a year?




This.  She's not into you OP, stop begging.  If you haven't got a date in half a year, and she's still avoiding you, you should take the hint.

Think about it:  If you were really into a girl, would you avoid her for half a year and not make time for her?


--------------------
...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436

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Invisible2shoes
The anti-agar
Male


Registered: 04/07/11
Posts: 3,124
Loc: Not in a SAB Flag
Re: How to get a date with a busy person [Re: badchad] * 1
    #21247752 - 02/09/15 11:14 AM (9 years, 3 months ago)

:whathesaid:

Id say she's playing the attention game but what do I know. Cold shoulder her and see if she come around (but don't plan on it) she'll most likely move on to another guy she can play the childish games with. You deserve better than that. If she does come around I'd tell her I'm not interested.

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InvisibleRedwood
Registered: 05/22/14
Posts: 2,077
Re: How to get a date with a busy person [Re: badchad] * 1
    #21247789 - 02/09/15 11:23 AM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

badchad said:
Quote:

Sagescruffy said:
She wasn't able to make time to have a meal with you or a coffee in over half a year?




This.  She's not into you OP, stop begging.  If you haven't got a date in half a year, and she's still avoiding you, you should take the hint.

Think about it:  If you were really into a girl, would you avoid her for half a year and not make time for her?



This. If someone is into you they will find some time to hang out with you no matter how busy they are.

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Anonymous #1

Re: How to get a date with a busy person [Re: badchad]
    #21249237 - 02/09/15 03:59 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

badchad said:
Quote:

Sagescruffy said:
She wasn't able to make time to have a meal with you or a coffee in over half a year?




This.  She's not into you OP, stop begging.  If you haven't got a date in half a year, and she's still avoiding you, you should take the hint.

Think about it:  If you were really into a girl, would you avoid her for half a year and not make time for her?




For the second time, she did not avoid me for half a year. We kinda had a thing this Summer and some stuff happened and we slowly just stopped talking. We recently began talking again about two weeks ago.

So she hasnt avoided me for half a year. I thought I made it clear that we had a thing for each other last year, but we just eventually ended up getting busy when school started up again and we stopped talking. So yea.

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Anonymous #1

Re: How to get a date with a busy person [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21249248 - 02/09/15 04:01 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

And she has been texting me first daily almost. So i may just be stupid but i fail to see how that equates to avoidance?

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Invisiblebadchad
Mad Scientist

Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 13,379
Re: How to get a date with a busy person [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21249512 - 02/09/15 05:04 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
So i may just be stupid but i fail to see how that equates to avoidance?




If you repeatedly ask someone to hang out with you, and they refuse, that is commonly referred to as "avoidance."


--------------------
...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436

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Anonymous #1

Re: How to get a date with a busy person [Re: badchad]
    #21249590 - 02/09/15 05:18 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

badchad said:
Quote:

Anonymous said:
So i may just be stupid but i fail to see how that equates to avoidance?




If you repeatedly ask someone to hang out with you, and they refuse, that is commonly referred to as "avoidance."




I asked her once

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Invisible2shoes
The anti-agar
Male


Registered: 04/07/11
Posts: 3,124
Loc: Not in a SAB Flag
Re: How to get a date with a busy person [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21250698 - 02/09/15 08:31 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

She has to eat at some point so why not with you? You say you see her with her friends which seems if she was into you like that then she'd hang with you or at least make an effort to hang out. If it were me id say something like "next time your free get ahold of me so we can catch up" then you wait.... next text received from her a response like "Chinesse tonight? I think I can free up some time. Let me know when I should pick you up" even if she just says whats up. If you get blown off again Id take that as the good old friend circle invite. More fish in the sea!
:manvsfish:

Or you could ask one of her friends to dinner so she'll stop pulling your chain.

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Offlinelifeiswhatyoumake
Male User Gallery

Registered: 09/30/11
Posts: 17,363
Last seen: 2 hours, 58 minutes
Re: How to get a date with a busy person [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21251193 - 02/09/15 10:23 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

What is this girl who is so busy doing that makes her busy?

Edited by lifeiswhatyoumake (02/09/15 10:24 PM)

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InvisibleAlgo
Backstrap Fever


Registered: 12/15/14
Posts: 3,857
Re: How to get a date with a busy person [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake]
    #21251206 - 02/09/15 10:27 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

if she wanted to she would make time. find another


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Offlinemandrin13
Stranger
 User Gallery

Registered: 07/08/14
Posts: 1,111
Loc: Socal
Last seen: 5 months, 23 days
Re: How to get a date with a busy person [Re: Algo] * 1
    #21262691 - 02/12/15 07:59 AM (9 years, 3 months ago)

You guys need to give this chick a break, its hard to make time when shes busy banging other guys.  Good luck OP, stop being a bitch and move on :tongue:


--------------------
Even Jesus got stoned.

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