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Offlinesirreal
devoid
Registered: 01/11/03
Posts: 1,775
Loc: In the borderlands
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
Trip report:Complete(82 fr. grams).
    #2122593 - 11/19/03 01:41 PM (13 years, 18 days ago)

Allright, here is what happened:

Let me sum it up before I give an account of the details. After about four hours had passed, I looked at the lady who had been taking notes throughout the episode and told her what it felt like. " It feels like I just spent the morning eating my own boogers."

That is what I said to her, and it was only a slight exaggeration.

This report is based mostly on the notes that my sitter took. I remember everything, but she provided the details. I talked non-stop throughout, and she wrote some of it down.


9:35- I began eating 82 grams fresh Thai lipa. They had been grown off of four 3 ounce BR cakes that had benn rolled in verm. An exeptional flush, really. I have 40 fr. grams in addition that are drying now. Of course afoaf grew them, not me.:p

10:00- First perceptual shift. First wave of euphoria. Everything began pulling away from me.

10:10- Finished eating 82 fr. grams thai lipa. Began feeling very vulnerable. I felt as though I was being peeled, if that makes any sense?

10:17- MAJOR perceptual shift! Hard to explain, really. I started to feel isolated and disconnected from what was happening.

10:18- Looked at sitter and informed her that she had two sets of eyes.

10:19- Another major perceptual shift.Began talking about feeling uncomfortable and how That was a good thing. Said that if I felt comfortable the experience would not be dynamic.

10:25- Began saying that you could not see lifes true motives, and if you could it would be very scary for us as individuals.

10:30- I told sitter that the top part of her head looked upside down. Hard to explain, but it did.

10:32- Another major shift in perception. This time it became terrifying! Absolutely horrible! I felt trapped in an awareness that is hard to relate to anything. Like I was surrounded by insane clowns that were mocking my existence.

I was able to snap out of it for a second. The shock of feeling that terrified seemed to bring me back to reality for a minute. I informed my sitter that we were through. I said that I was not having fun anymore and it was time to quit.

I stood up to get my shoes. She asked me what I was doing and I told her that I was going to drive her home, that I had decided not to be high anymore.

I truley believed that I could just walk away from it.

10:38- After realising that the mushrooms were not done with me yet, I laid down on the couch and began lamenting about feeling abused and mocked. Very insane! Nothing made sense.

I felt very isolated and disapointed
about what was happening.

It was very raw. I was to sensitive to every single that that was happening around me. Way to sensitive! I could hear the vibrational hum of everything around me. Or so it seemed, anyway.

11:00- After sitting silent for about ten minutes everything began to feel comfortable. I began saying that purpose wasn't what I thought it was and that I could not start over because there was no past or future. Everything was happening now and that was it. I felt that I needed to accept things as they were before I could begin effecting the present.

11:30- At this point I was curled up in a ball tightly wrapped in a blanket ranting about how I felt like a fungus. :smile:.

I kept telling the air that noone was invited. Not yet.

11:40- I kept teeling my sitter that I did not want to feel this way for the rest of my life. That I wanted the insanity to end.

I told her that I felt like I was being raped.

I kept calling mushrooms the drug of reflection. That there was no meaning in the experience, and that meaning would have to be made up upon reflection.

I also said things like life is weak and vulnerable.

12:00- At this point my sitter began saying things. Everything that she said I would mock ruthlessly. I would taunt her and tell her that she made no sense.

She would become flustered and tell me how much trouble she had explaining things. I told her that the most interesting people are those that have trouble explaining things because they give us something to think about. I said that if she could make me understand every idea she had the first time that she explained it, we would soon run out of things to talk about.The struggle for understanding and true purpose would come to an end.

That seemed to make her feel better and everything calmed down.

12:30- I siad that we were not meant to be this aware, that our minds were not designed to handle this much stimulation and that things were moving to fast.

I really wanted it to end at this point.

Was saying that life had its own reason for being here , it's just not what we think it is.

The truth is agonizing. Always changing just when you think you understand it. Nothing = everything and vice versa.

I kept saying that there was to much of everything in me.

             
    In the end it was just paranoia and a feeling of wrongness. We spent the next few hours trying to focus on mundane shit to try and end it. I really wanted out bad towards the end.

    I do not regret doing it, although I will be sticking to lower doses for a long while.

    Hats off to my sitter,she was a real trooper. Especially in the end. I love her very much.



Unfortunately it did not go the way I wanted it. I will do what suess does and use much smaller doses for self exploration.

Thanks for reading! 





--------------------
I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
-----------

I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!


Edited by sirreal (11/21/03 11:48 AM)


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OfflineSeussA
Error: divide byzero

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/27/01
Posts: 23,480
Loc: Caribbean
Last seen: 23 days, 20 hours
Re: Trip report:100 fr. grams. [Re: sirreal]
    #2122608 - 11/19/03 01:48 PM (13 years, 18 days ago)

With mushrooms, I find that a lower dosage along with meditation is much better for self exploration than a large dosage.


--------------------
Just another spore in the wind.


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Offlinesirreal
devoid
Registered: 01/11/03
Posts: 1,775
Loc: In the borderlands
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
Re: Trip report:100 fr. grams. [Re: Seuss]
    #2122626 - 11/19/03 01:56 PM (13 years, 18 days ago)

Quote:

Seuss said:
With mushrooms, I find that a lower dosage along with meditation is much better for self exploration than a large dosage. 





I figured someone would suggest a lower dose. :smile:

I have taken doses large and small, and I really feel like the intensity of a high dose is what I need for this.

I will not be doing this until tomorrow morning. I might cut the dose down to three or four grams. I don't know. 


--------------------
I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
-----------

I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!


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OfflineSeussA
Error: divide byzero

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/27/01
Posts: 23,480
Loc: Caribbean
Last seen: 23 days, 20 hours
Re: Trip report:100 fr. grams. [Re: sirreal]
    #2122637 - 11/19/03 02:04 PM (13 years, 18 days ago)

> I figured someone would suggest a lower dose.

I didn't make any suggestion... just stated what works better for me.  :smile:  We each have to find our own way.


--------------------
Just another spore in the wind.


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Anonymous

Re: Trip report:100 fr. grams. [Re: Seuss]
    #2122683 - 11/19/03 02:27 PM (13 years, 18 days ago)

I wish you the best of luck and I'll see you on the other side...

:smile:

bf6
:lipsrsealed:


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Offlinesirreal
devoid
Registered: 01/11/03
Posts: 1,775
Loc: In the borderlands
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
Re: Trip report:100 fr. grams. [Re: ]
    #2126983 - 11/21/03 11:47 AM (13 years, 17 days ago)

^^^Trip report in first post^^^

:blush: 


--------------------
I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
-----------

I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!


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Offlinedjd586
Underpants Gnome

Registered: 02/03/03
Posts: 1,655
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: Trip report:100 fr. grams. [Re: sirreal]
    #2127065 - 11/21/03 12:26 PM (13 years, 17 days ago)

Mind fucked! But what about the visuals? Intense CEVs or OEVs? Did you have a monster body buzz?


--------------------

Phase 1... collect underpants... phase 2...??? ... Phase 3 - PROFIT!


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Offlinesirreal
devoid
Registered: 01/11/03
Posts: 1,775
Loc: In the borderlands
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
Re: Trip report:100 fr. grams. [Re: djd586]
    #2127104 - 11/21/03 12:40 PM (13 years, 17 days ago)

Quote:

djd586 said:
Mind fucked!  But what about the visuals?  Intense CEVs or OEVs?  Did you have a monster body buzz?   





Thai lipa is the strain afoaf uses. I usually get very powerful cev's with them. This time, everything moved to fast and it was more of a mind fuck.

The oev's on the other hand were intense! Upside down heads and many sets of eyes were very trippy! The melting effect was dreamy, And the grains in my hardwood floor flowed like water. Everything became elongated and very distorted. :cool: 


The body buzz was intense in the beginning, but when the perceptual shifts began happening it pretty much went away.


--------------------
I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
-----------

I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!


Edited by sirreal (11/21/03 12:41 PM)


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OfflineSeussA
Error: divide byzero

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/27/01
Posts: 23,480
Loc: Caribbean
Last seen: 23 days, 20 hours
Re: Trip report:100 fr. grams. [Re: sirreal]
    #2129293 - 11/22/03 05:12 PM (13 years, 15 days ago)

> Unfortunately it did not go the way I wanted it. I will do what suess does and use much smaller doses for self exploration.

Your large dosage trip sounds very similiar to mine.  Your quote, "That I wanted the insanity to end" takes me back.  This is the problem that I always have with large dosage mushroom trips... the part of me that is needed in order to let go leading  to "" is lost in all the confusion and instanity.  Instead of being able to let go, I just lay in hell waiting for the madness to end.

Wait a few weeks, months, whatever... and then try a 20g fresh trip.  When the visuals kick in, allow yourself to become lost.  I find this to be a much more rewarding experience.

Another oddity... I find acid to be the exact opposite.  Large doses of acid do wonders for me for self exporation while small doses tend to lead me towards anxiety and paranoia.

> The truth is agonizing. Always changing just when you think you understand it. Nothing = everything and vice versa.

:grin:


--------------------
Just another spore in the wind.


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OfflineEgoMagickian
human

Registered: 07/03/03
Posts: 118
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: Trip report:100 fr. grams. [Re: Seuss]
    #2130024 - 11/23/03 05:07 AM (13 years, 15 days ago)

sirreal, did you have any kind of intention or plan for this trip before you ate the mushrooms? I'd be interested to know what kind of set & setting you had going into it.


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Offlinesirreal
devoid
Registered: 01/11/03
Posts: 1,775
Loc: In the borderlands
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
Re: Trip report:100 fr. grams. [Re: EgoMagickian]
    #2130113 - 11/23/03 08:16 AM (13 years, 15 days ago)

Quote:

EgoMagickian said:
sirreal, did you have any kind of intention or plan for this trip before you ate the mushrooms? I'd be interested to know what kind of set & setting you had going into it. 




I had made this post before the trip. In it I explained what my intentions were for the trip, but when I made the actual trip report I fucked up and deleted what I had already posted! :stoned:

I had planned on using this trip to reset myself, basically. Nothing very profound or original.

I thought that because I am such an experienced tripper :rolleyes: that I would be able to completely control such a large dose. Boy, was I wrong. I felt very mocked!

It is hard, in retrospect, to know what my true intentions were. I thought I knew, but now after the experience, I'm not so sure. :crazy:

BTW, I still have this strong desire to eat an outrageous amount of mushrooms just to prove to myself that I can control certain aspects of the trip, that so far I have not been able to control.

I want to master the experience. Master the mushroom, so to speak.

I realise how improbable this is. I just feel like I have been demeaned by the mushroom. It is like the mushroom is this untameable animal that keeps throwing me off every time I try and mount it.
 


--------------------
I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
-----------

I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineEgoMagickian
human

Registered: 07/03/03
Posts: 118
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: Trip report:100 fr. grams. [Re: sirreal]
    #2130130 - 11/23/03 09:06 AM (13 years, 15 days ago)

Ohhh I see. How interesting.

But why do you want to set up an adversarial relationship with mushrooms? Why does there have to be a master? It seems like you bring that to the table by yourself, and could probably choose to not bring it.

This, from the mind of someone who's never tripped before :wink: Have your salt shaker handy.


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Offlinesirreal
devoid
Registered: 01/11/03
Posts: 1,775
Loc: In the borderlands
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
Re: Trip report:100 fr. grams. [Re: EgoMagickian]
    #2130137 - 11/23/03 09:17 AM (13 years, 15 days ago)

Quote:

EgoMagickian said:
Ohhh I see. How interesting.

But why do you want to set up an adversarial relationship with mushrooms? Why does there have to be a master? It seems like you bring that to the table by yourself, and could probably choose to not bring it.





I did not go into it feeling this way. I am responding to the experience.

It felt as though the mushrooms were trying to dominate me. It felt sinister , in a way.

They started it! :nut: 


--------------------
I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
-----------

I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!


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OfflineSeussA
Error: divide byzero

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/27/01
Posts: 23,480
Loc: Caribbean
Last seen: 23 days, 20 hours
Re: Trip report:100 fr. grams. [Re: sirreal]
    #2132202 - 11/24/03 12:30 PM (13 years, 14 days ago)

Quote:


BTW, I still have this strong desire to eat an outrageous amount of mushrooms just to prove to myself that I can control certain aspects of the trip, that so far I have not been able to control.

I want to master the experience. Master the mushroom, so to speak.

I realise how improbable this is. I just feel like I have been demeaned by the mushroom. It is like the mushroom is this untameable animal that keeps throwing me off every time I try and mount it.





The only way to master the mushroom is to give in to the trip and let the mushroom take you where she wishes. If you try to steer the trip, the mushroom will grab the wheel out of your hands and pound you senseless with it. Instead, sit back, buckle your seatbelt, and enjoy the ride where ever it takes you.


--------------------
Just another spore in the wind.


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