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Anonymous #1

aa/na chicks
    #21218224 - 02/02/15 08:31 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

i have been doing the sober life for a little bit now.  basically when I share I aim to sweet talk and impress especially at the young people's group.  I know some of them are interested. They flash their eyes and do the normal cues. 

Don't really know how to approach them though.  Any tips much appreciated.

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OfflineJustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: aa/na chicks [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21218283 - 02/02/15 08:41 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Man. In my experience, 10 months sober in the program, stay away from those girls in the program. Believe me. It's not worth it. Sure, they might be good people, but if they fuck up and you're along side of them, your sobriety could possible go out the window. Man I just had to dump my girlfriend because she was making me want to get high as a fucking kite.


--------------------
Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!


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Anonymous #1

Re: aa/na chicks [Re: JustForToday]
    #21218388 - 02/02/15 08:58 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

a lot of them have a good amount of time.  I just want to have a convo it does not need to lead anywhere.  recovery is my first priority.  I have been more attracted to some of these women than pretty much any other place i have meet women.  they just seem to get it.

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Anonymous #2

Re: aa/na chicks [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21219552 - 02/03/15 04:55 AM (9 years, 3 months ago)

I thought this thread was about African American (aa) / Native American (na) chicks....lol.

Leave those girls in rehabilitation programs alone. You sound like a predator. You aim to sweet talk and impress especially the young people's group...lol

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Anonymous #1

Re: aa/na chicks [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #21219641 - 02/03/15 06:06 AM (9 years, 3 months ago)

they are my own kind.  i aim to help as well.  i am a young people nigga

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Anonymous #2

Re: aa/na chicks [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21219710 - 02/03/15 06:49 AM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Yeah...lol, you're trying to help. Maybe help yourself get some pussy at the expense of someone else's unfortunate situation.

Do whatever floats your boat man.

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OfflineJustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: aa/na chicks [Re: Anonymous #2] * 1
    #21219731 - 02/03/15 07:03 AM (9 years, 3 months ago)

IF you have a substantial amount of clean time and they do too, sure go for it. But I would never do it. Leave the girls early in recovery alone though. You don't want to 13th step them.


--------------------
Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!


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Anonymous #1

Re: aa/na chicks [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #21219875 - 02/03/15 07:59 AM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Yeah...lol, you're trying to help. Maybe help yourself get some pussy at the expense of someone else's unfortunate situation.

Do whatever floats your boat man.



help when I share dumbass.  get the fuck out my thread with your bullshit.  you have contributed nothing. 
this is literally the only place i meet people. 
i work online take classes online... i am not about to go a bar to pick a drunk straggler up, and i am not trying to get some quick puss.  as said before I simply would like to have a convo and see where it goes.

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InvisibleThayendanegea
quiet walker
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Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,600
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation Flag
Re: aa/na chicks [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21220001 - 02/03/15 08:47 AM (9 years, 3 months ago)

I've been sober for nearly sixteen years now and have been active in aa for all of that time. The answer to your question is a simple one. Just ask yourself if your intentions are good...meditate on it. I stuck to a hardfast rule that I wouldn't approach anyone with under a year sobriety...there are assholes that prey on newcommers..by doing this you do both yourself and any newcomer a disservice. Remember, this program offers "peace of mind", but to get some of this, you have to try to do "The next right thing"....as it was explained to me. Approaching broken, scared and easily impressed newcomers is the wrong way and will only bring resentments....and, you know what they say about those.

Honestly, I have dated a few aa girls during this time, and the relationships never worked out although, I know a lot of aa couples that are quite content.I have also had a lot of newcomers come on to me and had to say that I was flattered, but no thanks.  Remember, We are all sick...some of us sicker than others. Our priority is fixing us and then helping others.:sunny::peace:


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein

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Anonymous #1

Re: aa/na chicks [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #21220041 - 02/03/15 08:57 AM (9 years, 3 months ago)

I have six months and have no intentions getting involved with anything after a year.  thats what the literature says and thats is what has been helping me.  I am just fairly intelligent and I have a damn good sponsor so I just take what has been helpful to me and share it at the meetings.  I know the newcomer rule and I don't mess with that bs.  The one's who have shown interest towards me all have over a year, so if anything I am the victim here haha. 

So to broaden my question how do I approach people?  I like people I just have always had difficulty making initial contact.

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OfflineBjorn_Stormcrow
The Farfarer.
Male


Registered: 09/27/12
Posts: 2,572
Loc: Toronto, Ontario, Canada Flag
Last seen: 4 months, 17 days
Re: aa/na chicks [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21220043 - 02/03/15 08:57 AM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Stay away from them man. As was said before, if they fall down they can easily take you with them. And how about if you fall, would you want to feel responsible if they did too? I don't care how long you got clean, or how determined you are. Nobody ever plans to relapse.
Even if that doesn't happen, people also break up quite messily for completely normal reasons. Would you want to endanger one of your safe spaces for that, or one of theirs?

The risks are too great. Your better bet is to meet women outside the program. You mentioned working from home. There are plenty of resources online. And the bar is far from the only place to meet women. Pick up a hobby, start going to the gym. There are a million better ways that won't put your recovery at such risk. In fact many of them could help it.


--------------------
Live Mythically


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InvisibleThayendanegea
quiet walker
Male User Gallery


Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,600
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation Flag
Re: aa/na chicks [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #21220266 - 02/03/15 09:57 AM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
  basically when I share I aim to sweet talk and impress especially at the young people's group.   

Don't really know how to approach them though.  Any tips much appreciated.



My tip would be to cut down on the sweet talking and work on sharing your experience, strength and hope.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein

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