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Invisiblebirdeatingspider
Stranger in Paradise
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Registered: 12/18/14
Posts: 3,286
Loc: so many roads
Patient or Addict? *DELETED*
    #21188639 - 01/27/15 08:36 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Post deleted by birdeatingspider

Reason for deletion: give up whatever



--------------------

From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.

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InvisibleDrRedBush
I'm unpasteurized
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Registered: 12/03/14
Posts: 1,325
Loc: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Re: Patient or Addict? [Re: birdeatingspider]
    #21188668 - 01/27/15 08:41 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

I've asked myself this same question.

I have chronic pain and trouble focusing

I believe psychs helped relieve me of that and also put me in a place I more wanted to be at in my life.

I'm interested what others have to say.

I'm no expert

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OfflineSpacerific
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Registered: 10/13/12
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Re: Patient or Addict? [Re: birdeatingspider]
    #21189877 - 01/28/15 03:43 AM (9 years, 3 months ago)

You're being vague, dude. What "drugs" do you even speak of? And if they've been a teacher and positive influence on your life, why would you call them drugs?

Follow what you've seen to work. If the psychs have helped you grow more than friends and family, obviously go on with them. Screw interventions, tell them all that you'll quit the psychs if and only if they try the psychs once for themselves and find them to be lacking in merit :lol:

I for one am VERY dismissive of non-tripping primates trying to make sense of us trippers. I feel they're beneath us, trying to give opinion on their betters, on matters that simply exceed their understanding and processing capacity.

Or in other words, I just feel they're trying really hard to pull us back to their boring thought patterns and lifestyles, and I for one will have none of it. I know in my gut what works, what delivers, and any primate trying to tell me otherwise, is just wasting their own breath and making noise in vain.

Ask whoever thinks they're serious about the BS "intervention" to trip with you once, to see what they're speaking against. Or at least link them to some actual studies, showing effects on long term mood, creativity, etc.

One thing I just can't get behind is simple primates getting uppity, thinking they know better than trippers how the world works :lol:


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16

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Invisiblebirdeatingspider
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Posts: 3,286
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Re: Patient or Addict? [Re: Spacerific]
    #21190832 - 01/28/15 10:59 AM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Thank you for your replies.

@Spacerific- 
'Drug' was put into ''s as it is in accordance with the views of my loved ones. 

While I don't care to define what 'drugs' mean any more than I believe certain 'primates' are beneath others,
or that certain 'drugs' are necessarily better than others,
the fact of the matter is unless you exist in this altered state naturally, one must use something to get to this place of consciousness-

Whether it be through meditation, the 'medicine' the doctor prescribes that rots your body and mind,
or a 'drug' as made illegal by the country you reside in/poison manufactured by the devil as viewed by your parents and long term partner.

I am being vague in attempt to keep responses objective. 
The drug in question is MXE- it is something along with ketamine and psychedelics/entheogens that have healed me, pushed me in a positive direction, and have been a great love of mine for more than 1/2 my life.

With your logic would I not have to break up with my family and partner, and leave the country? 

Given the fact that I returned home after a decade of traveling to be a part of my family's life, there surely must be another way.

I tried it their way.  Yesterday I even went to visit a rehab to see if it would be a good fit.  Long story short no, it wasn't.

Perhaps the balance would be giving my stash to a neutral party and forcing myself to use more responsibly.  After all compulsive redosing of this analog is a side affect, and falling victim to it is what landed me in this mess.


--------------------

From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.

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OfflineSpacerific
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Registered: 10/13/12
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Re: Patient or Addict? [Re: birdeatingspider]
    #21191007 - 01/28/15 11:31 AM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:


'Drug' was put into ''s as it is in accordance with the views of my loved ones. 




I'm not asking what they believe. I'm asking what YOU believe. What do YOU call these things? Speak for yourself, don't cop out and say "others call it this". What are these molecules to you?

Quote:


I am being vague in attempt to keep responses objective. 



Sounds to me you're not that passionate nor full of conviction about these matters. Why stay objective? Aren't these things your pride and joy?

Quote:

The drug in question is MXE- it is something along with ketamine and psychedelics/entheogens that have healed me, pushed me in a positive direction, and have been a great love of mine for more than 1/2 my life.



Never used MXE, probably never would, but that's my own preference. Glad it works for you and gives you healing :heart:

Quote:


With your logic would I not have to break up with my family and partner, and leave the country? 



Depends, are they open enough to accept you as you are?

They don't have to partake, but can they thrive next to you while you're still doing MXE, and can you thrive next to them? If you can all thrive together, obviously you should stay. If either of you are constantly making a fuss about it, raising hell, breathing not-quite-right about it, then I'd start considering some form of change. Moving away, changing the relationships in some way, etc.

I mean what do you do with incompatible viewpoints? Spend a whole lifetime miserable? SOME relatives aren't meant to be around more than once a year around the holidays, or everybody would have a bad time :lol:

Quote:


Given the fact that I returned home after a decade of traveling to be a part of my family's life, there surely must be another way.



There may or may not be one. Does it feel like there is one? Do these people want to accept you AS YOU ARE, or are constantly at it, trying to fidget and mess with you, change this improve that, never quite still and in gratitude, enjoying your company?

NOT everybody is ready to accept a tripper around. People who thrive on
- routine
- traditions
- stable status quo, being mainstream

These people will ALWAYS be irritated by you and your alternative views, your more flexible attitudes on various matters, because they like living in a simple fish tank and your very presence points out that their fish tank is an illusion. It breaks their placebo, so to speak. And it's not intentional but they WILL resent you for it. That's been my impression so far. Some people can't handle trippers. Nor can trippers handle tense, critical people for too long, because we have increased empathy, we pick up on all the tension.

Quote:


Perhaps the balance would be giving my stash to a neutral party and forcing myself to use more responsibly.  After all compulsive redosing of this analog is a side affect, and falling victim to it is what landed me in this mess.




Well do you have a compulsive addiction, over-indulging problem, or a healthy vibrant positive relationship with a sacred medicine? That's got nothing to do with your family, it's between you and the molecule.

I hope you guys find a way to coexist and thrive peacefully :biggrin:


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16

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Invisiblebirdeatingspider
Stranger in Paradise
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Registered: 12/18/14
Posts: 3,286
Loc: so many roads
Re: Patient or Addict? [Re: Spacerific]
    #21273366 - 02/14/15 01:50 PM (9 years, 3 months ago)

Since writing OP, I've read some great books, seen doctors and mentors,  and there has been much meditation/soul searching and attempts on my end to find closure with this one.

Realized I am not a conventional addict: I don't lie cheat or steal.  I merely fall victim to a side effect of the chemical I love with compulsive re-dosing.. even this fact bothered me and I have overcome it by sitting on a .5 since last post, and vowing to keep my darling in the loop as to when I would indulge.  If anything I have identified that I am addicted to insufflation, and that is something I have ceased as well.

As far as the darling.. there have been a couple blow ups since all of this and I have on more than one occasion tried to end things, but they will not have it.  I make it clear that I am comfortable in the time being with my drug use, and they deserve someone more fit to their standards- its not fair to either of us.  I am seen as an investment, and feel like a prisoner.

Other than show how much more productive and constructive I am with MXE in my life, trying to get away, is there any option I am not seeing? 

I tried it the other way.. I lived alone and traveled for a long time and it led to loneliness and antisocial tendencies.  I've tried it their way and abstained, and it led to depression, worse anxiety and quality of life.  Thought I found a compromise but starting to feel like people just want me to live how they see fit, and to toughen up and move on.  After all, depression is just like, sad and it's okay to feel sad, so shake it off :doublefu:


--------------------

From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
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