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Offlinebigbitch
Stranger

Registered: 04/17/14
Posts: 975
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
some funny shit happened at court today * 6
    #21126493 - 01/15/15 07:17 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

so my buddy was getting sentenced today.  They made him take a piss test that he knew about.  Because of the shorter amount of time he had to prepare, he drank a bunch of water.  So they are going down the docket, they tell him he has to be piss tested, and he sits in one of these two really nice chairs in the front side of the court.  He looks happy and fine.  More people get called on the docket, more people get put up for drug testing.  One more guy sits in a nice fabric rolly chair like he is in next to him, and the rest of the people getting drug tested sit in these blue leather chairs.  So 30 minutes or so after dude got put in this chair, he start looking anxious.  Moving his legs, looking around all crazy with big eyes, holding his junk.  I'm wondering what the fuck his deal is (I was his ride that was getting compensated, and came to watch the bs).  I thought he just was scared of what the drug test results might be.

So they get to the near end of the docket like an hour later, and I see him motioning accross the room to his lawyer, telling him that he is about to pee.  His lawyer goes up, and asks some court officers, and they say he has to wait.  Lawyer shakes his head at him, is telling him he has to wait.  Like one minute later this dude just pisses his pants in one of the two nicest chairs the court has.  Like hes fucking unloading, and there's piss pouring out both of his pant legs and dripping all off the chair and everything.  His lawyer was the first to see it I think, and the face was priceless lol.  He slowly shook his head with his jaw wide open.  They called them back to get drug tested like literally 2 minutes later, and dude passed!  All of the court officers could not believe it and my buddy had to wear his own piss for like another two hours before he was out that bitch. 

It put a big fucking smile on my face though lol.  He fucking pissed all over and ruined one of their best chairs, and that's what they get for not letting him use the restroom!  And he passed his test just to top it off.  I felt like it was the ultimate fuck you, to every bitch ass court officer in that room lol.

edit: didn't want to bump up an old thread, but he sat on a towel and a pizza box i had in my car!

Edited by bigbitch (01/16/15 05:15 AM)

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InvisibleOhMrJohnson
Modern Day Alchemist

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,581
Loc: Terra Incognita Flag
Re: some funny shit happened at court today [Re: bigbitch] * 1
    #21126557 - 01/15/15 07:30 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

:asianofapproval:


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Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace..
Once and for all!

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InvisibleDistorted Vision
The best. Of the worst.
Male


Registered: 07/30/09
Posts: 4,292
Loc: Indiana Flag
Re: some funny shit happened at court today [Re: OhMrJohnson]
    #21126570 - 01/15/15 07:35 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

YES! :lol:

:lolsy: :fuckyou:


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"Yo yo just here to spread my clit and show ya'll what a wonderful and free being we are all inside lets take the acid and turn inside into the outside come on over baby lets smell the roses ohh ohh come on we're about to get lit show my undies to your baby I'll hug it down three times go around frown come on we aint a nice clown kiss me upside down down down come on sorry if you cant handle my wokeness come on lets take her panties off write shroomery on my asshole and taste it lick it make if feel like we was 1978 come on baby lets do the locamotion"-Twig dude

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Offlinesanchothestoner
Satan's Grandson
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 12/06/11
Posts: 15,623
Loc: Bucketheadland
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
Re: some funny shit happened at court today [Re: Distorted Vision]
    #21126595 - 01/15/15 07:41 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

:canthelpbutlaugh:


--------------------
I fucking hate you... God damn, I love you...
But we both know if we stick together, we'll just tear ourselves apart
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey
You are my heroin, but there's an abscess... God damn, I miss the vein!

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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,479
Re: some funny shit happened at court today [Re: bigbitch] * 3
    #21126616 - 01/15/15 07:48 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

R kelly approves


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https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv

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OfflineThe Librarian
The Accountant
Male


Registered: 01/03/15
Posts: 393
Loc: Hiding under a Mushroom
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: some funny shit happened at court today [Re: bigbitch]
    #21126633 - 01/15/15 07:52 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Call CSI to test the chair now.  :laugh2:


--------------------
Spore prints or it didn't happen.           Consolidate is a fancy word for: "If you touch it some more any time soon you'll kill it all."                              Great Scorpions Song
       

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InvisibleDoes

Registered: 02/12/12
Posts: 2,846
Loc: Flag
Re: some funny shit happened at court today [Re: zZZz]
    #21126655 - 01/15/15 07:57 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

wish i could have seen their faces

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OfflineBoomBoom
Nuke worker-Its a blast!
Male User Gallery


Registered: 01/23/10
Posts: 1,198
Last seen: 23 days, 22 hours
Re: some funny shit happened at court today [Re: Does]
    #21126696 - 01/15/15 08:08 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Fuckin right! :rockon:

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Offlineberdinwall
<3 whooooshhh


Registered: 06/10/12
Posts: 4,276
Loc: West Virginia
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: some funny shit happened at court today [Re: BoomBoom]
    #21126722 - 01/15/15 08:12 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

that's funny but how come a grown man can't hold his piss? kind of odd. Im really upset.


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OfflineChanneling_Spirit
 User Gallery


Registered: 12/19/13
Posts: 802
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: some funny shit happened at court today [Re: berdinwall]
    #21126780 - 01/15/15 08:27 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

berdinwall said:
that's funny but how come a grown man can't hold his piss? kind of odd. Im really upset.



Drink 1.5 liters of water and wait 3 hours.

you'll see

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Offlineorison
mcfluffysugarnuts


Registered: 01/19/09
Posts: 5,480
Last seen: 1 hour, 32 minutes
Re: some funny shit happened at court today [Re: berdinwall]
    #21126781 - 01/15/15 08:27 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

rkelly.. :laugh2:


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Offlineberdinwall
<3 whooooshhh


Registered: 06/10/12
Posts: 4,276
Loc: West Virginia
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: some funny shit happened at court today [Re: Channeling_Spirit]
    #21126827 - 01/15/15 08:42 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Channeling_Spirit said:
Quote:

berdinwall said:
that's funny but how come a grown man can't hold his piss? kind of odd. Im really upset.



Drink 1.5 liters of water and wait 3 hours.

you'll see




come on...I've had to hold my pee to where its hurt before but Ive never pissed myself


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OfflineChanneling_Spirit
 User Gallery


Registered: 12/19/13
Posts: 802
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: some funny shit happened at court today [Re: berdinwall]
    #21126857 - 01/15/15 08:48 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

berdinwall said:
Quote:

Channeling_Spirit said:
Quote:

berdinwall said:
that's funny but how come a grown man can't hold his piss? kind of odd. Im really upset.



Drink 1.5 liters of water and wait 3 hours.

you'll see




come on...I've had to hold my pee to where its hurt before but Ive never pissed myself



Try that exercise!

And I'm sure he probably at least subconsciously wanted it to happen that way.

I could hold my pee but I drink a shit ton of water a day like 4.5 liters

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OfflineBjorn_Stormcrow
The Farfarer.
Male


Registered: 09/27/12
Posts: 2,572
Loc: Toronto, Ontario, Canada Flag
Last seen: 4 months, 17 days
Re: some funny shit happened at court today [Re: berdinwall] * 2
    #21126913 - 01/15/15 09:03 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

so your buddy... who you gave a ride too... pissed himself at court... an event you witenessed because you where giving him a ride... so the untold part of this story is how your buddy had to sit on your car seats in piss soaked pants...


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Live Mythically


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Invisibleshadyy
aHhahhHA
 User Gallery


Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
Re: some funny shit happened at court today [Re: bigbitch] * 1
    #21126983 - 01/15/15 09:15 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

I don't know..I wouldn't really feel like I was sticking it to the man by pissing myself in a room full of people.

Like..YEAH! NOW YOU GOTTA WASH YOUR CHAIR!!


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13

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InvisibleMr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter
I'm a teapot

Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
Re: some funny shit happened at court today [Re: berdinwall]
    #21127489 - 01/16/15 12:05 AM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

berdinwall said:
that's funny but how come a grown man can't hold his piss? kind of odd. Im really upset.



sometimes the valve breaks :shrug:

at a phish year a year or so ago with some shroomerites, I pissed my pants running to the bathroom.  I was even pinching the tip.  we took this bus from a neighboring city and drank on the way, and my buddy actually pissed in a cup in front of a bunch of moms :lol:

moral of the story, sometimes you can't hold it, and its always funny :thumbup:


--------------------
I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart.
I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.

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