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OfflineMacey Howard
Formally MOE HOWARD
Female


Registered: 07/02/99
Posts: 14,165
Loc: Georgia Flag
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
When having to take a dump dictates your whole day * 2
    #21089812 - 01/08/15 08:57 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

I'm getting prepped for a job interview. first one ever as a girl. I'm nervous, I'm getting dressed, feeling bloated, forgetting steps in my makeup application. I'm keeping an eye on the clock. Trying to judge traffic congestion using the time of day and Siri map.

Got the address of the place, good. Okay, let's try to plop a log to relieve some pressure. I pile up on the toilet- I'm getting a corked feeling. I know I have to go, but  my hiney wants to hold on to the logs for a while.

I'm not happy.

I try repositioning by lifting the seat and sitting directly on the porcelain, letting my ass hang really low in the toilet bowl. I swear, the tip of my but cheeks were almost touching the water. I strain and get nothing. I washed up, looked in the mirror and had that fecal strain vein in my forehead. I hop in the car and Siri up the job office. I noticed that I was driving semi erratic. Looks like the logs were working their way to the light. I run into traffic and am happy I allowed myself buffer time by leaving early, but not enough time to loose some logs.

I get to my destination, meet some potential co-workers. New boss wasn't around as I was 30 mins early. Yay, I get to take a break. I asked where the bathroom was- aw man it's all close to where people were working. I had some serious log dropping to do. I didn't want to stealth shit because it takes twice as long and everyone would have thought I died on the toilet.  So I decided to meditate the logs back to their resting area.
I meet the boss, we talk work, money, travel, and expectations.  When we got to my salary, he got within 6 grand of what I made at my last job- I just said yes!  At this time, I had the shit sweats.

He asked if I wanted to go to lunch. Mother. Fucker. Ok. I went. Piling up some fish tacos on top of my logs. I meet some other people who looked at me funny. I think I know you. I'm all pre apocalyptic shit stormy and mutter : Yes I was a guy when you saw me last. I'm transgender.

They perk up and Jesus Christ me. I got a few hugs and junk. Yeah yeah yeah.
I answer some questions and say, when do I start.

Monday

Fack, I wanted a longer break. Oh well.
So  we wrap things up and I get home on prayers. I fling the purse, keys, resume binder on the couch and run to the bathroom. I had to kick off my shoes, this was going to be a growler.
All the time I'm dumping im thinking that this shit cost me $6000 less a year in pay.

That's pretty shittty.


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Hugs and Kisses!

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Invisiblepartyinthestars
Kamille Bidan


Registered: 07/01/13
Posts: 301
Loc: In The Stars
Re: When having to take a dump dictates your whole day [Re: Macey Howard]
    #21089874 - 01/08/15 09:11 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Troflroflofflebinch.


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InvisibleBill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
Re: When having to take a dump dictates your whole day [Re: partyinthestars]
    #21089885 - 01/08/15 09:12 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

if having to take a dump dictates your whole day....what if you are like me and you are on opiates thus usually not having the need to take a dump?

mind blown or what?


--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..

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OfflineHellogoodbyedeath

Registered: 03/24/12
Posts: 2,904
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: When having to take a dump dictates your whole day [Re: Macey Howard]
    #21089969 - 01/08/15 09:32 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Loved this story! :lol:

But yes, I hate when that kind of thing happens.

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InvisibleSynthe
Gatorade me, bitch!
Male


Registered: 11/10/12
Posts: 7,961
Loc: Three bags of Funyuns Flag
Re: When having to take a dump dictates your whole day [Re: Hellogoodbyedeath]
    #21089976 - 01/08/15 09:34 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Cojo said:
"Storm is prerequisite to mental gain." -Eyedea



:singletear:


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