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Offlinemntlfngrs
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rites and rituals
    #2108005 - 11/15/03 12:43 AM (13 years, 30 days ago)

Do any of you guys know of or know where the best place to find info on different kinds of rites and rituals. I'm mostly interested in coming of age type rituals. Particularly shaman lead rituals using entheogens. I would like to perform a coming of age ritual for my kid (someday) in Clan of the Cave Bear style.

I would like to hear any experiences you might have on this topic too.


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Offlinejiva
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Re: rites and rituals [Re: mntlfngrs]
    #2108970 - 11/15/03 02:09 PM (13 years, 29 days ago)

In my personal experience, R&R (hehehe) are basically neurolinguistic programming techniques. They are not necessary, but may be helpful tools for the evocation of (whatever you're doing) and the controlling of it.


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Offlinemntlfngrs
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Re: rites and rituals [Re: jiva]
    #2110174 - 11/15/03 11:12 PM (13 years, 29 days ago)

I think they are more than that. A coming of age ceremony makes the point at which a person is expected to take on the rights and responsibilities of an adult. The west has ignored the importance of these rituals and I think a lot of young people are not sure of there place in society as a result. It lets a child move forward an empowers them to expect to be treated as an adult, lets them know that they will be held responsible for all their actions as a adult would. It facilitates and promotes communication within the family that I think is lacking in western culture. I think kids are allowed to linger in this in-between stage too long. The passage into adulthood has since ancient times been one of if not the most important cusp in a persons life. And to have abandoned it completely seems a mistake to me. And the successful completion of some sort of trial for passage to adulthood lets the child feel that they have earned the right and deserves it.

A coming of age ritual is nothing like the ritual of Sunday mass or whatever. I don't see how anyone could think of it as a training or brainwashing tool.

I find it hard to believe that a forum that spends so much time on aliens, Myan calendars, Chi, tele- whatever, has so little to say about this subject. I would think that most people here would jump at a chance to participate in a vision quest, ayahuasca ceremony, or peyote ceremony.



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OfflineNiamhNyx
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Re: rites and rituals [Re: mntlfngrs]
    #2110188 - 11/15/03 11:20 PM (13 years, 29 days ago)

Coming of Age ceremonies... I always wish that I'd been given one. Kids figure out thier own coming of age rituals if they aren't given one, and oftentimes what they come up with isn't good for them. I think it's wonderful that you're planning on holding such a ceremony for your kid. Unfortunately I don't know enough about them to be able to help you in any way. I can, however, offer you luck and encouragement. Your kid is lucky to have a parent that would do that for them.


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OfflinePhluck
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Re: rites and rituals [Re: mntlfngrs]
    #2110211 - 11/15/03 11:31 PM (13 years, 29 days ago)

Some people get ritually circumcised without anaesthetic.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
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Offlinemntlfngrs
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Re: rites and rituals [Re: Phluck]
    #2110234 - 11/15/03 11:40 PM (13 years, 29 days ago)

Most likey infection soon follows.


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Offlinemntlfngrs
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Re: rites and rituals [Re: NiamhNyx]
    #2110235 - 11/15/03 11:41 PM (13 years, 29 days ago)

Thanks, I think she will appreciate it too.


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Offlinemntlfngrs
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Re: rites and rituals [Re: mntlfngrs]
    #2110242 - 11/15/03 11:48 PM (13 years, 29 days ago)

Well I found a coming of age ceremony but it seems kind of plain. What do ya think?




Menarche (or First Blood) Celebration

For girls today, the first menstrual period can be frightening. With terms such as "The Curse" being tossed about there seems to be little joy for this time in a girl's life. It was not always so. In ancient cultures it was met with great joy and profound ceremony. Reaching womanhood was an accomplishment worthy of celebration as the girl was welcomed into the Moon Lodge by the women in her community. The moon time is a time for reflection, for slowing the pace of life and introspection. When this natural cycle is honored, when a woman slows her activity directly preceding and during her moon cycle, then medical conditions like PMS can dissipate for most. The Menarche celebration should be held within a month of the girl's first period.

The Ceremony

This is an all day event so make sure that a significant female role-model and father-figure are present (ideally the mother and father but reasonable substitutions can be made) for the entire day without any distractions. This means turning off all phones and pagers, being outdoors helps with this

This is a commitment that MUST be made! A parent that cannot promise a full, uninterrupted day for this celebration should either postpone or find a suitable stand-in. The morning is spent with the father and a shared breakfast. The father will go over pictures of childhood with his daughter and talk about significant events in the girl's life. Together they will choose a toy or stuffed animal that symbolizes her childhood to keep with them. They will discuss her triumphs as a child and how proud he is of her, this is not a time to criticize or point out faults. He will have his daughter discuss what she thinks she has learned, what she will leave behind and how she feels about it. What will she miss about no longer being a child? After breakfast they can share a favorite activity like hiking, horseback riding or playing games.

Usually this time is from dawn to noon. At noon, the father will escort the girl to the mother(figure) and he will say to the mother, "Here is my daughter, I know that she is no longer a girl but he shall forever be my child. I entrust her to you." To the girl, he will say, "Although you have grown and will now be joining the house of women, know that you shall always be welcome in my arms." He will then have the girl hand him her toy and say, "This I will always keep for you as I will keep the memories of your childhood. Go with my love."

With a kiss or hug the father will then take the girl's toy and leave. The mother will then take the girl for lunch (a picnic packed by mom or out to a favorite restaurant) and a bonding activity (gardening, shopping, a shared sport, etc.) Together the mother will ask the girl how he feels about becoming a woman, what she thinks it will be like and what she looks forward to. This may also be a good time to reinforce and further expound upon "the talk" (ideally, this line of communication had already been open between child and parents for years prior to puberty) and to discuss the body changes and how to deal with them. This is a time to discuss hopes, dreams, goals and future plans. As the day ends, it is time for mother to take the daughter home (if they are not there already) and help her get ready for her party. Together, they will arrive at a party (large or small) with a group of people (friends/family) who are there to witness the rebirth of the girl into woman. Father will be at this party as well. The beloved toy will be the centerpiece and is surrounded by pictures of the girl in childhood. A great feast is prepared with the girl's favorite foods.

After the meal the father will stand and read from a list. It is a list of things the girl will no longer have to do or have (go to bed early, wearing pajamas with built in feet, eat vegetables she dislikes) after reading this list he will say, "I release you from these childhood things." Then the mother will stand and read a list of new privileges and responsibilities (is allowed to go out on her own, is given her own phone, is allowed to wear make-up, is expected to care for a younger child, etc.) ending with "These are the rights and tasks of a woman. ("Welcome to the Moon lodge." can be added.) The girl will then be asked to say a few words from a card, "I accept the rights and responsibilities of a woman. I will honor my father who raised me and look to my mother to guide me. I, (name here), willingly leave my childhood behind. I am ready to be a woman."

To seal the ceremony the mother and father will then present the young woman with her talisman necklace and the father will say, "Let this symbolize your promise to act responsibly and to respect yourself and others." The mother will clasp the necklace and say, "Let this symbolize your promise to listen to the wisdom of your elders and to work for the greater good with all women." Together, the father and mother say, "To all witnesses here, we proclaim (name here), a woman!"

All of the women present (no girls) will then form a circle and and call the young woman in. Each woman will have a chance to greet the young woman with hugs and words of welcome. If desired, music may now be played as the young woman dances with the members of her Moon Lodge. After a short time, the young woman is then allowed to mingle freely with everyone at the party.

)O( ~*~ )O(


Manhood Celebration

In our current society the emerging manhood of our male children is often ignored and treated with, at best, discomfort. Caught between the child and adult world he can recognize the best of both worlds but can seemingly taste neither now. The emotional and spiritual health of a young man is greatly bolstered when his family and community recognize his new place in the world, a place of new responsibilities and rights. Usually when a boy reaches puberty (often around the age thirteen) his voice may change and things like body hair begin to become prominent. When it is time for the Manhood celebration, the parents will know.

The Ceremony

This is an all day event so make sure that a significant female nurturer and male role-model are present (ideally the mother and father but reasonable substitutions can be made) for the entire day without any distractions. This means turning off all phones and pagers, being outdoors helps with this.

This is a commitment that MUST be made! A parent that cannot promise a full, uninterrupted day for this celebration should either postpone or find a suitable stand-in. The first part of the day is spent with the mother(figure), she will go over pictures of childhood with her son and talk about significant events in the boy's life. Together they will choose a toy or stuffed animal that symbolizes his childhood to keep with them. She will discuss his triumphs as a child and how proud she is of him, this is not a time to criticize or point out faults. She will have the boy discuss what he thinks he has learned, what he will leave behind and how he feels about it. What will he miss about no longer being a child? Usually this time is from dawn to noon and a mother/son breakfast is great to include (have him help make breakfast!). At noon, the mother will escort the boy to the father(figure) and she will say to the father, "Here is my son, I know that he is no longer a boy but he shall forever be my child. I entrust him to you." To the boy she will say, "Although you leave the house of your mother for the house of men, know that you shall always be welcome in my arms." She will then have the boy hand her his toy and say, "This I will always keep for you as I will keep the memories of your childhood. Go with my love." With a kiss or hug the mother will then take the boy's toy and leave. The father will then take the boy for a lunch (a picnic packed by mom or out to a favorite restaurant) and a bonding activity (this can be fishing, hiking, playing ball, etc.) Together the father will ask the boy how he feels about becoming a man, what he thinks it will be like and what he looks forward to. This may also be a good time to reinforce and further expound upon "the talk" (ideally, this line of communication had already been open between child and parents for years prior to puberty). This is a time to discuss hopes, dreams, goals and future plans. As the day ends, it is time for father to take the son and help him get ready for his party.

Together, they will arrive at a party (large or small) with a group of people (friends/family) who are there to witness the rebirth of the boy into man. Mother will be at this party as well. The beloved toy will be the centerpiece and is surrounded by pictures of the boy in childhood. A great feast is prepared with the boy's favorite foods. After the meal the mother will stand and read from a list. It is a list of things the boy will no longer have to do or have (go to bed early, take his flintstone's vitamins, eat vegetables he dislikes) after reading this list she will say, "I release you from these childhood things." Then the father will stand and read a list of new privileges and responsibilities (is allowed to go out on his own, is given his own phone, will have to learn how to fix the family car, etc.) ending with "These are the rights and tasks of a man." The boy will then be asked to say a few words from a card, "I accept the rights and responsibilities of a man. I will honor my mother who raised me and look to my father to guide me. I, (name here), willingly leave my childhood behind. I am ready to be a man.

To seal the ceremony the mother and father will then present the young man with his talisman necklace and the mother will say, "Let this symbolize your promise to honor and respect all women, to be kind to all children, as a man." The father will clasp the necklace and say, "Let this symbolize your promise to listen to and work for the greater good with all men." Together, the father and mother say, "To all witnesses here, we proclaim (name here), a man!"

All of the men present (no boys) will then form a circle and and call the young man in. Each man will have a chance to greet the young man with handshakes, manly back-thumping and words of welcome. If desired, music may now be played as the young man dances with the members of his Sun Lodge. After a short time, the young man is then allowed to mingle freely with everyone at the party.


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OfflinePhluck
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Re: rites and rituals [Re: mntlfngrs]
    #2110289 - 11/16/03 12:17 AM (13 years, 29 days ago)

Why don't you invent your own ritual instead of adopting the rituals of an ancient culture whose beliefs you don't even have total faith in?


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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Offlinemntlfngrs
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Re: rites and rituals [Re: Phluck]
    #2110325 - 11/16/03 12:34 AM (13 years, 29 days ago)

That is what I am thinking. I wanted to hear about different ones and ideas that I might mix and change to suit me.


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OfflineNiamhNyx
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Re: rites and rituals [Re: mntlfngrs]
    #2110368 - 11/16/03 12:55 AM (13 years, 29 days ago)

Might I ask, how old is your daughter, and when would you plan it for? A specific age, or when she starts her period...?

I think when I have a kid, like 10 years from now, I'll plan on doing a coming of age ceremony. It's such a good idea!


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Offlinemntlfngrs
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Re: rites and rituals [Re: NiamhNyx]
    #2110387 - 11/16/03 01:12 AM (13 years, 29 days ago)

She is 8 so I have a few years. For a girl the period would seem to be the right time but I think maybe that is too early in this daty and age. 14 - 16 maybe? I think on for a male would be a lot of fun for me being a father. I could realy get into it.

I would like to hear from the girls on what they would have liked for something like this. What kind of things would realy make it special and make you feel that you are ready to accept the responsibilities of adulthood and a responsibility to do so?


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Offlinejiva
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Re: rites and rituals [Re: mntlfngrs]
    #2110399 - 11/16/03 01:18 AM (13 years, 29 days ago)

what about Bar Mitzvah?


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OfflineNiamhNyx
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Re: rites and rituals [Re: jiva]
    #2110420 - 11/16/03 01:33 AM (13 years, 29 days ago)

I see your point about the start of the period being too young in our culture(depending on when she starts it.) I was 14 so that would have been a good time for such a ceremony. 14-16 is probably ideal. I think 16 was the age I had attained some level of maturity by, and the same goes for most of the people I know.

http://www.shaman-center.dk/Artikel%20-%20Blessed%20by%20the%20moon.htm

This is quite an interesting, although lengthy article on first period rituals amongst shamanic cultures, and about doing them for young girls now.


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Offlinemntlfngrs
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Re: rites and rituals [Re: jiva]
    #2110462 - 11/16/03 01:52 AM (13 years, 29 days ago)

Quote:

jiva said:
what about Bar Mitzvah?




One of the few practiced in the US. I don't know anything about it exept it is Jewish.


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Offlinemntlfngrs
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Re: rites and rituals [Re: NiamhNyx]
    #2110519 - 11/16/03 02:18 AM (13 years, 29 days ago)

Thanks for the link. Interesting. I hadn't thought as much about what it could mean to the mother untill reading that. But it makes sense cause rites of passage aren't just for the person whom it is for but for the family in general aswell. I think soem parents don't know when to let go and this marks that time as well.


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