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OblongHand
connoisseur



Registered: 04/18/14
Posts: 38
Loc: Anytown USA
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The sudden urge to change my life around
#21069984 - 01/05/15 07:43 AM (9 years, 4 months ago) |
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im turning 21 this year and i keep contemplating on how much i hate the life im living at the moment. 2013-2014 have been fruitless years. i didn't accomplish one good thing besides graduating high school, i just drink and smoke daily and do drugs on a weekly basis, i work every day but after that i come home to my gf and all my close friends and all they like to do is get fucked up all the time...its like in an endless cycle i mean dont get me wrong i love them, i love hanging out with them and drinking but they have no drive to do big things in life, no aspirations. There just apathetic drunks who work 9-5s. It kinda bums me out and on top of that its not like we really have things in common anymore besides partying and the music scene. I'm starting to feel like i have no connection with my girfriend and peers anymore its like there stuck doing the same shit year after year and for me, the things i use to love to do for the past 4 years are starting to seem tasteless and overdone, my hobbies and priorities have shifted. id rather enjoy tripping at home by myself, meditating, studying, and really focusing on the thing i love to do the most, oil paint rather than go out and get bent, i want to constantly keep learning. i guess i just want to change my life for the better and not have 2015 be another one of those years. i'm trying to go to art school this year and really start getting into shape but i really cant if i keep hanging out with practiacally everybody i love , hanging out with them is a temptation to keep pissing away my life and talent. Has anybody experienced something similar? i really dont have anybody i can talk to about this, eveyone is in their own little fantasy and they think im in the wrong for wanting to quit. shit sucks
-------------------- I bury my Haters next to my Enemies, Piss on their graves, Let them soak up the memories
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The Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
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Re: The sudden urge to change my life around [Re: OblongHand]
#21070194 - 01/05/15 08:53 AM (9 years, 4 months ago) |
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Get a job, workout, do drugs once a week. You'll see an improvement in your views of things.
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"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head. If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.
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PDU
travel kid vs.amerika



Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 10,675
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
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Re: The sudden urge to change my life around [Re: The Doobie Dude]
#21070398 - 01/05/15 09:52 AM (9 years, 4 months ago) |
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Cut your friends loose, they are a negative influence. It took me until i was 24 to have the epiphany that your having. I am now 29 and doing first year university ... it sucks and is awesome at the same time.
-------------------- GO OUTSIDE.
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Hinny
The Missing Genre Link.


Registered: 01/23/10
Posts: 662
Loc:
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Re: The sudden urge to change my life around [Re: PDU]
#21071643 - 01/05/15 02:56 PM (9 years, 4 months ago) |
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You just have to cut shit loose.
The people in my lomg term job have finally made it hard for me to enjoy my life due to the negative ego's and disrespect they show at work. I'm second chef so they are my responsibility and also my friends. 'Coz of all that I have just handed a months notice in today and I'm 29.
I feel better already and have the attitude of they can deal with it themselves and struggle. Experiencing all of that made my life shit. I'm clouded by negativity and worry all of the time and I have stopped painting and sewing. I've just started working out again so I have something positive to aim for.
Making plans to get a car, or go traveling and even making a business plan for a market stall.
People come and go man, you have to do what benefits yourself.
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m4dScientist
Music Always Helps


Registered: 08/04/14
Posts: 1,616
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: The sudden urge to change my life around [Re: Hinny]
#21072499 - 01/05/15 05:55 PM (9 years, 4 months ago) |
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everyone thinks youre in the wrong for wanting to quit????
if someone opposes you getting your shit together, they are not your friend. they seem like your friends now cause theyre all you know, but as you get older, youll see how they are merely acquaintances. besides the fact that you like to get fucked up, im going to assume you don't have much in common with them.
listen to yourself. if you feel like now is the time to separate yourself from these people and this lifestyle, do it. there is no better time than now. otherwise, you can procrastinate and realize 5 years from now that you regret not having done it sooner.
experience has taught me this. I wish you luck on your journey brotha!
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Spacerific
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Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
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Re: The sudden urge to change my life around [Re: Hinny]
#21072607 - 01/05/15 06:12 PM (9 years, 4 months ago) |
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Dude, if you oil paint, if you've found your creative outlet, and expect to continue spending time with time wasters and consumers, you're just giving yourself unnecessary grief.
Creative activity is the spice of life. It disciplines and grows you, it organizes you toward something. If you surround yourself with people who have no organizing principle beyond the daily grind at the job and then TV, then that will affect your creativity.
I'm a painter too, I can tell you I'm dealing with this stuff on a daily basis. Go to most places and start doing some shit (drawing, painting, juggling, whatever) and you'll see a HUGE number of weirded out looks, from people who can only use their hands to work a phone. These are the people to move away from, not to continually dwell on.
Start meeting other local artists and art students. Not just painters. Meet sculptors, muralists, people who work in glass, ceramics, anything. You'll see there's SUCH a reward spending time in the company of people that know what you're talking about. Who can look at something simple and GET that it makes an awesome composition, because they too have an eye trained by drawing.
Robt. Williams, one of my fave painters, says this in a documentary. There's a large facet of society, of human beings, that have no capacity for anything like oblique or abstract thought.
In other words, most people dwell in boring routine. If you're the artist, you'd best find others of your kind, or you'll just drain your batteries, filling time with minutia.
Expect more from people that you spend time with. If all they can demonstrate is an ability to drink or make common comments on the trivial and the obvious, then move away, find better people.
-------------------- Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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Spacerific
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Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
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Re: The sudden urge to change my life around [Re: Spacerific]
#21074111 - 01/05/15 10:02 PM (9 years, 4 months ago) |
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OP, since you mentioned going to art school, how's your sketching and drawing and painting going? I've found that a good team of artist friends is invaluable in keeping you involved in these things, for the sheer massive hours that you need to be involved in them.
If you have an artist gf and a couple of friends, you'll be drawing all day. Even when you don't quite feel like it, someone around you whips up a sketchbook and starts doodling or developing something, and that triggers a similar thought process in you. Shutting up and putting things to paper. Things to canvas. THen there's collaborations, them pointing relevant things out to you, them picking up on your energy and you on theirs. Momentum building.
Well if instead of these people, that you should surround yourself with, if instead of this you hang out mostly with the non-artists, you're basically missing out. A lot. What kind of artist you'll be in 10-20 years from now will have a lot to do with the kind of people you surround yourself with, what you invest time into, where you hang out. If you've found ways to support and grow your habits or always fight uphill battles, going against the grain.
Sure after 5+ years of incessant, obsessive, constant drawing and thinking in line and color, you'll be able to go off on your own, sit down in a bar and continue to draw draw draw, paint paint paint, you won't be that dependent on context. But that's a lot like a black belt martial artist being able to train himself in the forest. That ability comes AFTER someone (the context, the teacher, the dojo) has imposed a certain momentum, a certain speed and some good habits, a way of doing things. It's impossible to put out all that work alone in the beginning, because our brains don't work like that. That's why it's impossible to teach yourself martial arts from books alone, from scratch.
We do take cues about what to do, from what other people around us are doing. And if they're sitting around drinking and scratching their balls all day, we get the idea that this is what we should be doing most of the day as well. Even trying to do better than that, will be met with resistance not support. They'll praise the 20 daily mins of drawing or kung fu that you do, that they don't, when someone involved in more professional training puts in those 20 mins before breakfast alone, as a warmup for the hours and hours they'll paint each day
-------------------- Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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resonant111
left ∞ right

Registered: 03/02/11
Posts: 1,952
Loc: IL
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: The sudden urge to change my life around [Re: Spacerific]
#21076792 - 01/06/15 12:02 PM (9 years, 4 months ago) |
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op i suggest you keep your friends but just give yourself a little more space between them. if you feel like it's time for you to "be alone" or whatever, do that for the most part. explore that world.
and then on the weekend you can go out and party or whatever, like 1x a week. and those people will still be there for that. but just totally cutting everyone out might make you really depressed and lonely, no matter what types of hobbies you get into...it's not easy to re-make friends, think of all the good times you've surely had with those people.
just because its becoming a bit monotonous for you doesn't mean you have to just shit on all of them. i hang out with my closest friends maybe 1x a month and there is still a super strong connection. you don't have to hang out with people 5 days a week for them to stay your friend. just tell them to hit you up on weekends and go from there. it doesn't sound like you despise these people by anymeans, just that you're getting tired of being around them all the time cuz they get fucked up too much.
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