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OfflineSeriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh
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Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,726
Last seen: 10 minutes, 56 seconds
Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay * 4
    #21052328 - 01/01/15 01:30 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Alright so last night was waaay to crazy. Me and 2 new friends went to a "company" party with employees and owners there. So I'm expecting slacks and quiet music with maybe rum punch or something. When we got there the place was bumping random music from the past 10 years. Everyone was taking shots/jello shots/Yager bombs etc. So after an hour or 2 of drinking inside, we went to the garage to smoke weed. This is where shit got crazy.

There was this deaf lady and her husband and we started talking to them but the deaf chick was DRUNK. So how do you talk to a drunk deaf chick? Her husband was interpreting her screams/orders. She ordered us to sit on the floor because my buddies weed wasn't good enough(jokingly I think) Then she kept fucking with us and screaming jibberish.

After 30min of this, my new friend and I were bustin up laughing. After a while we got up and returned to smoking and drinking, then the deaf chick came up to me and kept pointing to my pipe(near my crotch) and then yelling and pointing outside and making the hand symbol for her house.

That's when it don doned me that she was asking me to go to her house to have sex. Only problem with that is her husband was right there and his muscle bound ex con Mexican friend kept threatening to beat me to a pulp if I didn't leave. So I have this SUPER DRUNK DEAF MARRIED chick basically dragging me to her house and her husband and friend 10 feet away plotting how to fuck me up somehow.

So I found a screwdriver at some point in the garage and I had it up my sleeve, I would've had to stab them until they stopped fighting. I didn't want to do that but I would've if we didn't work it out diplomatically.

IT WAS SO fucked up, I had no idea what she was saying or trying to do until it was too late. If she wasn't married and her husband wasn't right there I probably would've hit that(she was Asian, I like Asians). It was such a desperate situation though it was like playing drunk charades with a horny married deaf chick. 


SOooo how was ur guys New Years Eve?


--------------------
R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa, Jellyfish
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many :heart:

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Offlinelowbrow
Paddy Time!!!!
Male

Registered: 09/12/08
Posts: 9,820
Last seen: 1 day, 10 hours
Re: Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay [Re: Seriously_trippin]
    #21052355 - 01/01/15 01:33 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

You got me beat.


--------------------
Amanita86 said:
Sui is trying to mod right now.  Kinda like a newborn calf tryin ta stand fer the first time ain’t it..

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InvisibleBill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
Re: Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay [Re: lowbrow]
    #21052361 - 01/01/15 01:34 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

yeah...I really don't know what to say besides..

It is what it is


--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..

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OfflineSunnyD
WiZarD oF LoVe
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/29/13
Posts: 25,236
Loc: Planet earth
Last seen: 5 months, 7 days
Re: Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay [Re: Seriously_trippin]
    #21052370 - 01/01/15 01:37 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Sounds like a ghetto party I went tooo in dayto somtime in October
except for the deaf part and 2 dudes wanting to beat me up :lol:


sounds ghetto hahahah
Sorrry bud


--------------------
:sunny::inlove::peyotespectrum::peyotespectrum::inlove::sunny:
And to everyone who thinks life is just a game,
Do you like the part you are playing?
This is the time in life I am living!
And I face each day with a smile :smile:
My music Library of Synthesizer goodness

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Onlinemorrowasted
Worldwide Stepper
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Registered: 10/30/09
Posts: 31,562
Loc: House of Mirrors
Last seen: 2 minutes, 59 seconds
Re: Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay [Re: SunnyD] * 8
    #21052444 - 01/01/15 01:59 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

watched a couple movies, went to an AA meeting, hung out with a friend. 97 days sober

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InvisibleDistorted Vision
The best. Of the worst.
Male


Registered: 07/30/09
Posts: 4,292
Loc: Indiana Flag
Re: Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay [Re: morrowasted] * 6
    #21052498 - 01/01/15 02:12 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Sounds like she was saying to get the fuck out of the house and smoke. Not i want ur dick.


--------------------


"Yo yo just here to spread my clit and show ya'll what a wonderful and free being we are all inside lets take the acid and turn inside into the outside come on over baby lets smell the roses ohh ohh come on we're about to get lit show my undies to your baby I'll hug it down three times go around frown come on we aint a nice clown kiss me upside down down down come on sorry if you cant handle my wokeness come on lets take her panties off write shroomery on my asshole and taste it lick it make if feel like we was 1978 come on baby lets do the locamotion"-Twig dude

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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
shoulda died already
I'm a teapot


Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,312
Re: Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay [Re: Distorted Vision]
    #21052506 - 01/01/15 02:13 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Sadhana :trippnballs: :happyweed:

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Onlinemorrowasted
Worldwide Stepper
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/30/09
Posts: 31,562
Loc: House of Mirrors
Last seen: 2 minutes, 59 seconds
Re: Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay [Re: Distorted Vision]
    #21052512 - 01/01/15 02:14 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Distorted Vision said:
Sounds like she was saying to get the fuck out of the house and smoke. Not i want ur dick.



yeah this

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InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay [Re: Distorted Vision] * 4
    #21052521 - 01/01/15 02:16 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Distorted Vision said:
Sounds like she was saying to get the fuck out of the house and smoke. Not i want ur dick.





when you're drunk, everything sounds like "I want your dick" to a horny adolescent

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OfflineSeriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh
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Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,726
Last seen: 10 minutes, 56 seconds
Re: Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay [Re: Distorted Vision]
    #21052558 - 01/01/15 02:23 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Distorted Vision said:
Sounds like she was saying to get the fuck out of the house and smoke. Not i want ur dick.



No she pointed to her house across the alley and tried to have me walk over there WITH her. Even the husbands friend said she was trying to get with me. That's not the point though :lol:

Good job staying sober morrow


--------------------
R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa, Jellyfish
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many :heart:

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Invisiblejewunit
Brutal!
Male User Gallery

Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 34,264
Loc: Ohio Flag
Re: Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay [Re: Seriously_trippin] * 2
    #21052656 - 01/01/15 02:52 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

She was probably saying "I have way better weed than that dirt shit of yours back at my house".


--------------------
!

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OfflineSeriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh
Male User Gallery


Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,726
Last seen: 10 minutes, 56 seconds
Re: Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay [Re: jewunit]
    #21052672 - 01/01/15 02:56 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Whatever she said it sure pissed off her husband and his friend.


--------------------
R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa, Jellyfish
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many :heart:

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Invisiblerackem
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
Re: Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay [Re: Seriously_trippin]
    #21052673 - 01/01/15 02:56 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

shoulda just whipped out the cawk and went for the ride.


--------------------

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OfflineFlower Child
Stranger Danger
Male


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 12/18/11
Posts: 372
Loc: Somewhere by the bay Flag
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
Re: Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay [Re: rackem]
    #21052901 - 01/01/15 03:52 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

You should have given her a hit OP :facepalm:


--------------------
Once the game is over, the king and pawn go back in the same box.


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OfflineInfiniteToker
Devourer of Chicken Wings
Male


Registered: 06/22/13
Posts: 1,724
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 4 months, 21 days
Re: Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay [Re: Flower Child]
    #21053034 - 01/01/15 04:38 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

just masturbate to a national geographic seal documentary and you won't have to wonder.....lol.    glad you made it out alive though.


--------------------
 

"I'm chilling in a room with a view, there's always room for improvement; so i grab my coat and go and prove it"-Method Man

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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,479
Re: Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay [Re: Flower Child] * 1
    #21053041 - 01/01/15 04:39 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

She might have just wanted to cause trouble between you and her husband and husband's protege. 

My night wasn't as exiting, just had a beer on the mountain peaks of the Himalayas with a bunch of sadhus and then went back home all the way to California, all in the same night, and went to sleep. Meh.


--------------------
https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv

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OfflineDragonChaser
Ice in Her Ass and Pussy
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Registered: 04/27/06
Posts: 7,212
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
Re: Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay [Re: Seriously_trippin]
    #21053074 - 01/01/15 04:48 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Seriously_trippin said:
Whatever she said it sure pissed off her husband and his friend.





Can't imagine how dysfunctional that relationship is if she gets drunk, and uses her interpreter husband to try to get dick, from someone she doesn't know.

Like... I mean... she's fucking deaf.  It's not like she can just up and leave her husband if she wants.  I mean she could, but it's not like she'd have an easy time dating, if she needs an interpreter.  Bet she feels kinda trapped... like... the world can't understand her.  Because when she talks, she SOUN LIEK DITHS.


--------------------
My name is Mud

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InvisibleModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
 User Gallery


Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
Re: Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay [Re: Seriously_trippin] * 7
    #21053093 - 01/01/15 04:52 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

My interpretation of the story -

You were really drunk, and this chick wanted you to smoke with her and her husband at their house. You took it as a sign she wanted to bang, and her husband got pissed accordingly.

You really think this woman would point at your dick to indicate she wanted you to fuck her? She's deaf not mentally ill.


--------------------
Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?

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InvisibleFrozenHappiness
Professional Cereal Box

Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 5,330
Loc: Nagoon Lagoon
Re: Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay [Re: ModestMouse] * 3
    #21053405 - 01/01/15 06:06 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

ModestMouse said:
My interpretation of the story -

You were really drunk, and this chick wanted you to smoke with her and her husband at their house. You took it as a sign she wanted to bang, and her husband got pissed accordingly.

You really think this woman would point at your dick to indicate she wanted you to fuck her? She's deaf not mentally ill.




^This

The sign language for sex I think is universally understood  :youshouldtapthat:


--------------------

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OfflineSeriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh
Male User Gallery


Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,726
Last seen: 10 minutes, 56 seconds
Re: Almost had sex with a drunk deaf chick and almost got beat by several pro fighters. NYE!! Yay [Re: DragonChaser]
    #21053678 - 01/01/15 07:06 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

DragonChaser said:
Quote:

Seriously_trippin said:
Whatever she said it sure pissed off her husband and his friend.





Can't imagine how dysfunctional that relationship is if she gets drunk, and uses her interpreter husband to try to get dick, from someone she doesn't know.

Like... I mean... she's fucking deaf.  It's not like she can just up and leave her husband if she wants.  I mean she could, but it's not like she'd have an easy time dating, if she needs an interpreter.  Bet she feels kinda trapped... like... the world can't understand her.  Because when she talks, she SOUN LIEK DITHS.



RIGHT! That's exactly what I was thinking, it was soooo bizarre and I had no clue how he can deal with that. I made my intentions clear that I wouldn't  go with her and have her cheat on her husband that was in earshot but obviously my intentions weren't going to matter :lol:


--------------------
R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa, Jellyfish
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many :heart:

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