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Anonymous #1 |
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I'm going through a rough time right now. I lost my job, don't really feel like I have much going for me and am generally depressed and anxious. I have a girlfriend who loves me, and I her, but this rut that I'm in has put me in a bad shape. My girl is a catch and everyone knows it. I'm a catch too when I'm on the ball, but like I said I've been slipping lately.
Now my girl understands me and is sticking by me. I'm not a total piece of shit and I take care of myself and all that, I'm just a little more anxious and sad than I usually am. What's really bugging me is the pressure from my friends whenever I bring her around. One friend in particular is giving me a weird vibe. He's a good guy normally, but I feel like he senses that I'm not totally deserving of her at the moment. He cracks jokes here and there about her...little comments that let me know he's been thinking about her. Nothing totally vulgar that I can call him out on, it just seems like he's subtly trying to assert his dominance or something. I could be wrong though, he might think nothing of her... In the name of honesty, it's getting to me. She's very trustworthy, but if my girl and my friend would have met before me they would probably make a great couple. There's no denying that and it hurts :/ It makes me feel like i have to workout and make a bunch of money and prove MY dominance, but my heart isn't in that game right now. I've been through that shit and that is exactly why I am in this rut. I've given up the game of using excessive willpower day in and out to force myself to do something I don't want to do for the status. I'm just drained from the competition. Does that make me a beta or something? Are my genes giving out? Thing is my girl doesn't seem to care what I do, as long as I'm happy. She seems to be in love with my personality, my compassion, my attitude towards life above all. I just can't buy it though. My thoughts are torturing me, telling me to do this that and the other thing or else lose her to a better man, none of which I want to do. I know I have to find another job though I'm working on that. It's the anxiety over all of this that is the real threat to my relationship. It seems to have begun manifesting itself into cuckolding fantasies. Nothing extreme, but the thought of her boning another guy turns me on. I hate it Is there a way to pull myself out of this nosedive? Or do I have to get back into the game of who's bigger, who's stronger, who's taller, who's got more money in order to find peace? I've heard the term follow your heart, which I'm guessing is listening to how your body feels about something. All I feel right now is tension and sadness and worry.
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Waxing Prophetic Registered: 02/22/13 Posts: 2,514 Loc: The Enterprise Last seen: 4 years, 10 days |
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You aint no fuckin' beta, fuck the alpha beta relationship, man.
Psychic. Energy. Don't pay attention to the dark seeds, and plant your seeds of light in the darkness. Transcend these games, dude! Look, depression is a part of life, and everyone goes through it. It can be a time for learning and growing, if you aren't always trying to deny what you're experiencing. Let it in, take some deep breaths. you ARE deserving of love, and if your girl loves you, then you ARE deserving of her! Don't listen to the materialist hype that says love can only be found between two professional, successful capitalists. The way to pull yourself out of this nonsense is to stop paying attention to it and start paying attention to yourself, with a positive outlook. Psychic. Energy.
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FPSnosurrender Registered: 02/13/09 Posts: 3,720 |
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thats a really cool response.
op seems pretty hard and complex going there.maybe try to simple things out smooth it for plan of action.
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- - - > Registered: 10/13/12 Posts: 4,923 Last seen: 9 years, 1 month |
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OP, you've got it all backwards IMO. I know some of what follows might be hard to hear, you can either hear it now and take measures and save the day with minimal losses, or you can continue on your current trajectory and pick up the pieces later, once everything goes to shit. Makes of course no difference to me, because I don't know you, nor your girl, and my position in life has always been that the strong should get the awesome girls and the awesome food and what they want, and the weak, well they should get whatever the strong feel like they don't have any interest in.
Tough shit, as I said, but that's how nature does it. Either step up to the plate, or be stepped on and be satisfied with leftovers ![]() Now let's take it point by point. Quote: About what? What do you torment yourself with? Why do you choose to stay in fearful inactivity and waste energy worrying? Are you putting in ALL the effort that you can, to find a new job? I mean only if having a job is important to you. If you are, what are you worrying about? If you aren't, then why not? Perhaps the lack of clarity in what you even expect out of yourself, that's causing confusion, as you don't know when exactly you can call it done, a good day's job search well done? Are you at all clear about this? In other words, are you measuring your own efforts, or are just dwelling on the results, that you still have no job yet? If the latter, I highly encourage you to start mapping your efforts, and keep track of things, cross them off the list, to get those Dopamine releases. Otherwise you drain yourself with no rewards at end of day. Furthermore, are you working out, not to build muscles to impress people, but to make sure that your HEAD is working right? Inactive people get WAY more anxious than inactive ones, and also women need to see that their man is in fact active. Falling off the horse is absolutely no problem, for someone active. It is a HUGE problem to be around someone that takes it personal, falls off the horse once, and instead of giving it their all to get back up, they give it a shitty 70-80% and then the rest of 20-30% they waste on useless worry about "oh maybe I'm not good at this" or whatever. Take some time NOW to figure these things out, IN DETAIL, while you still have the girl, or you'll be forced to do it later, alone, once she's gone. Quote: The rut put you in a bad shape? How about you've been sitting on your laurels for a while (perfectly normal, we all do it), have failed to put in all the energy you had, have been wasting a little bit here a little bit there, and now you're reaping it? I'm not mentioning this to give you guilt trips about it, nor to offend you and start shit with you. I am simply pointing out that this is the result of many small decisions taken perhaps with less consideration to consequences, and just as you started taking shortcuts a while ago, you can now start doing things right and definitely bounce back But to do that, the FIRST step is taking full responsibility. It's you who let the reigns go, it's you who can now take them back. If you want to. Do you? Quote: Good. You're supposed to be bugged. It's a great source for action and growth, for those that can cut it, or for melting into a pile of doubt and self-pity, for those that can't. Either way it's a nice arena that swiftly tells you where you stand, in the grand scheme of things. Life is competition. If there were no other men around, we'd all be fat lazy fucks that never shave nor think that much. It's PRECISELY the competition that keeps us on our toes. It's a mirror that shows us how easy what we've gained can be lost, if we lose track of what we want. Rest assured your girl WILL leave you for another, if you continue with this disempowered, anxious, defeated fearful attitude for too long. YOu will fail to fuck properly, laugh wholeheartedly, relax fully, and so on, and if she knows what's good for her she will definitely find someone more functional. NOBODY likes to have someone around them, that breathes short, nervous anxiety-driven breath patterns. This should in no way scare or worry you, it should simply spur you on to get back on that horse sooner, rather than later. Learn to regain control over your breath, to breathe deeply, freely, cheerfully, or you will alienate. It's as simple as that. Every fucking day that you spend contemplating dangers (girl going away, new job never coming) OR dwelling on the past (the same kind of sitting on your laurels, mentioned above), every day that you engage in that kind of useless activity, you're one step closer to freeing yourself of this girl, and the pressure that YOU put yourself under, by being with her and thinking of her in that way. As pressure. As too good for you. She's not, but you seem to currently think yourself not good enough for her, for some reason, and sooner or later she will start to respect that belief, by leaving. Once and for all you'll have to look inside and see it. Are you worthy of this fine, fine piece of ass, or not? Are you in fact, MORE worthy of her, than any other primate walking the land? If so, grab her by the hair in full confidence and signal to any fucking primate daring to challenge you, that that is precisely, exactly and fully, YOUR woman. THere's no doubt about that, any more than there is about the sky being blue. Well don't literally grab her by the hair in public, I meant more metaphorically If you can't do that, fine, make your peace now with the fact that you can't handle it. You can't handle that pressure, that kind of woman, leave her be with her man, which is not you. Maybe it's your friend maybe it's another, but if you can't do the certainty thing, if you're that unsure of yourself, it's certainly not you. Not right now. Quote: Would those two have made a better couple than you two? Do you really think (or fear) that? Quote: YOu're draining yourself, and denying responsibility (blaiming it on "the rut" or "the competition"), and yes, at this very moment that makes you a beta. I bet your friends is right now more confident than you (and has good reason to be) because you're playing worries and defense, and he's playing cheerfulness and jokes. On the long run the carefree cheerful jokes will always win over the sad pathetic worries and defense, for the simple fact that you're wasting WAY more energy per unit of time, to keep yourself in a bad mood, than he is spending to keep himself (and others) in a good one. Oh and you can keep your girl away from him all you want, it won't do zilch for you, because the problem is with you, not with him. Get this guy out of the picture, there will be 20 more to take his place the next day. Fix your shit or be ready to say bye to the girl. Quote: No they aren't. Your genes are just fine, otherwise the girl wouldn't have been with you in the first place. You don't get to blame mom and dad's genes for this one. Your beliefs and habits however, very much under your personal control, are now starting to show some wear and tear, some cracks in the armor. It's on you to fix them, effectively, intelligently, and actually in constructive fun ways, OR to be endlessly looping worries in your head, cutting your breath with useless stress and self torment, and alienate the girl. It's your choice, nobody can make it for you, because only you can choose to man up or take a breather. Maybe a year or two of no-pressure is what you need. Why do you fight it so hard? Leave the girl be, if you can't cut it, go without her for a while, at least you'll have zero pressure from other men to deal with. Quote: Bingo. But she will need to see that every once in a while you ARE happy, or you WILL alienate her and piss her off. A little feeling down is OK. A lot, or feeling down all the time, is definitely not. Let me explain a bit about energy and couples. While together, you give her energy, she gives you energy. It's like a circle, an ongoing loop. When you put in the energy to cook, you don't need much from her, but you'd like to see that she enjoys it. The very facial pattern of someone satisfied, when you look at that, THAT is what gives you the reward for putting in the time and energy for the cooking. If she'd be worried worried and unable to relax out of it, for two minutes of enjoying a meal fully, if instead of making that nice satisfied face and uhmmms, she'd make more ![]() - then that's wasting your energy, failing to return rewards for energy put in.IF that energy, instead of being taken and looped back via other nice gestures, is taken, hoarded, and redirected towards endless worry, doubts, self criticism, then you're not just wasting your energy, you're wasting hers. THis is something that humans are instinctively wired to avoid. Or if they don't they end up in spent regretful apathy, wondering what could have been, had they just hit the eject button when they still had the chance. So the fact that your friend can take your girl's jokes and produce sincere, full amplitude , and for the same joke, you can only produced a half-assed, kinda worried tense ha-ha , that shows you the dynamics there. Either swing back to fully carefree mode, or be prepped to find some new girl late on. Quote: Really? You think money and muscles "prove" dominance? ![]() ![]() My friend, you don't need muscles, you can very well have a belly if you want, and also you don't need money. I've taken plenty of girls from boyfriends while I had no job, minimal funds, sometimes a bad shave or bad haircut (festival conditions, different rules apply ), sometimes not even a roof over my head, I just had the electrical situation handled. It's all electrical. Can you keep an electrically clean head, OR are you compulsively wasting electricity in your head with worry worry worry? He who does, loses the girl. Can you keep chill limb movements, or are you wasting electricity on trembling and displaying submissive beta patterns? Anxious fidgeting with hands and fingers, nervously tapping your foot, while your friend is cheerful, head leaned back, not a care in teh world? That's electrical fail right there. That'll cost you, not the lack of money or muscle. Voice-wise, can you bring on a proper, electrically charged, cohesive voice that sounds like a bad motherfucker, cheerful and ta-dee-dah, or are you being doubtful, whiney, all shaking treble and no bass in it? When you and your friend are in a group together, do you feel intimidated? Watch your limbs, watch your breath, does it start skipping beats and showing tremors? If he intimidates you and you're completely harmless to him (he maintains chill and you don't) then that right there tells the whole story. If he lifts and exercises and you don't, that tells the story of who's electrically active in an organized fashion, and who's idling, disorganized, chaotic. The voice tells it, the breathing patterns tell it, the limb movements and eye contact tell it. The money doesn't matter one bit. Quote: And a third time that you use this specific formulation. It's not "I'm torturing myself with bullshit thoughts". No, apparently to you, it's "the thoughts are torturing me." Like they're somehow outside of you, out of your control completely. So is the rut, so is the competition, it's all out there somewhere, nothing you can do, right? Keep giving away responsibility for shit, see where that leads. Quote: And a fourth time. The anxiety is a threat. Well enjoy then, if you can't say that you're creating it, you're choosing to handle it in counterproductive ways, then fine, blame it on the anxiety, the friends, the economy and the space people, anything that will allow you to not look inwards. The cuckolding fantasies are IMO perfectly obvious signs that your subconscious has had it with the amount of pressure you put on yourself, how destructively you've handled this idea of competition, focusing on dreadful fear and loss, and it's telling you that rather than remain in this high-pressure situation, it would be much easier to let some other guy take the whole thing off your hands. You'll finally be able to breathe the sigh of relief that you've been needing for so long. You don't have to do it like that, you can start breathing more relieved right now, and stat moving, exercising, fucking, massaging (HUGE one, you guys should be laying it on thick with the massage oil AT LEAST 3 times a week, ESPECIALLY if there's any doubts and difficulties involved) and things will heal themselves. OR you can keep on pressuring and fucking with yourself, abusing your nervous system, going in your head through scenarios of disaster, and you WILL wear yourself out to the point of alienating the girl, just to be able to get some fucking peace. Now let me tell you a bit about myself. I'm like your friend. I'm the guy that makes it a point to go around and actively scan for hot girls with guys that are complete fuckups and can't cut it, and EVEN IF I DON'T WANT THE GIRL, I make it my business to challenge that relationship, make sure that either the guy steps up to the plate and mans up and stops his bullshit, OR that he's left alone in the rain, to be able to go to his lonely man cave and regroup there, rethink his life strategies. I go around with not many funds, not that pumped up muscles, but a sharp eye and ear, and I'm very well tuned to see energy wasters, as well as anxiety dwellers. Focusers on fears and negative. When I see or hear the signs, I know I've found my next fool to play my little tricks on ![]() To people who have learned to deal with their own anxiety, you're like a fucking open book. If you tremble, voice shaking, your vocabulary gives away unhandled inner conflict, they basically get that sense that you're being a wuss (you're putting yourself in that state, actively) and that yes, your girl is up for grabs. Just a matter of time until it's actually OK to do the grab, but the dynamics are clearly in their favor. Lucky for you we're on the Shroomery, I have no way to take your girl (which I absolutely would ) so I'm happy to help you back to awesome, if you're open to hearing some suggestions. Are you? If so, explain a bit about how your day goes, how you deal with anxiety when it arises, as it always does in all people. Do you exercise? Do you drink and smoke? Do you numb yourself with electronics? (Computer, TV, that kinda thing, body inactive mind hypnotized and dulled away) Do you eat healthy stuff, make sure you have plenty of nutrients to run on? Btw do you do the awesome cooking in the house or does she? How's the sex? How's the massage? <- - - pay EXTREME attention to this one, and if you don't do it regularly with your girl, start TODAY I remind you that you're anon, so your best bet is to be sincere now, provide some accurate data about these things, it's the shortest way for you to bounce back into action Hope this helps
-------------------- For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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Anonymous #2 |
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Wow.
I'm in the exact same position as you. I see my girl get along with other guys all the time and think " they'd make such a great couple, god I wish they'd fuck already and make my fears a reality so I can breathe again. " I know what it's like to feel down and anxious and almost unworthy of seeing someone who is quite the catch. All I do is play it day by day and try and stay as positive as possible without letting too much slip. Just make sure you continue to build a strong relationship with yourself, your girl, and your friends. Stay connected, communicate, and i'm sure everything will be fine.
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Anonymous #1 |
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OP Here:
You make some good points. What exactly are you saying about the electricity? I get that a lot of my energy is running around my head and little is being used to solve problems...is that my real issue? Not enough action? I exercise sometimes I don't drink much, smoke weed everyday, no cigs I play videogames and an on the Internet basically all day I'm in good shape, my diet is slightly healthier than most in that I don't eat fast food and most processed crap. We actually just started massages, it was probably based off something i read in one of your posts now that I think about it because I got the idea here. For that I thank you, we both find them amazing. Sex is pretty good, most of the time, I don't always get her off and that bugs me a bit. On a good day I can rock her world and put her ass to sleep. But...I think like I said above that I'm thinking too much and all the energy that supposed to go into action is floating around my head causing problems
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- - - > Registered: 10/13/12 Posts: 4,923 Last seen: 9 years, 1 month |
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Quote: Precisely. When you're physically inactive and mentally overactive (worrying, fearing shit, actively imagining crap scenarios, and then continue to not physically do anything about them) that is basically you fucking up your own game. Here's how it goes: An overactive mind doesn't come free. Active heads burn nutrients and neurotransmitters, which are limited. If you burn them on worries, or videogames, or porn, or endless useless crap, then you won't have them for important stuff. If, as you burn this stuff on an active head, you are also being idle physically, then you don't move lymph nor oxygen around, as you would if you'd be outside, doing shit. Nor are you getting enough light nor vitamin D, nor temp differences, which fucks with your day/night cycles, and so affects your sleep. Quote: So basically you are being a nerd all day. Compare this to what your days went into, when you were on the wave, actively engaged in jobs and hobbies. Is the all-day couch sitter and videogamer, the man your girl started going out with? Look, electricity has to do with our body's cycles, that look kinda like this: ![]() Your day/night cycle is supposed to look like that. REst at night, and at least a few good spikes of epic activity at day. I am talking lifting, running, going around looking for shit (whether you have a job or not) and then after some of that, crash somewhere on a couch, and allow your body to chill. I am talking resting your head on your girl's knee, being fed grapes, being massaged, having your hair played with, meowing like a cat. Eyes closed, not processing noisy pixels. So both head and body go up at once, down at once. Up at once, down at once. What are worries? What are video games, TV and internet? Well, it's basically a fucking with your own system, because you go neither up at once, nor down at once. Your body is lazy as shit, not moving lymph nor oxygen, and your head is processing video game frames, information, etc. This gives you a more and more drained system, less and less nutrients, neurotransmitters, less and less strength and vibrancy in your underused muscles, your voice starts to sound like less testosterone, less energy, less oxygen (underused lungs) and so on. Basically you're turning yourself into some generic indoors staying loser. The fact that you don't have fat on you yet doesn't mean you're healthy and vibrant and full of life. THe question is, are your muscles rocking and rolling with power, cock and balls and manliness? Is your voice teaming with life? I've never seen these things to be possible after long hours of video gaming and nothing else. Hard to hear this stuff sometimes, but best you hear it now when you can do shit about it, than find out the hard way later, once you're fat, sad and lazy, your girl is gone and it'll be a way more complicated problem. So here's what I'm proposing: Start sprinting in the morning. Whenever morning is for you. Noon I guess? ![]() If it's cold and snowy where you live, don't sprint, you risk fucking up your throat and lungs from the cold. Get dressed and take some sort of walk instead, set a target, some store, park, whatever, that's at least 5 minutes away, but do get dressed and outside the house. Very important, as it signals things to your brain, to kick into action. Don't spend more than 20-30 on this, it's just a short wake-up routine. After that, get back indoors, put in about 15-20 mins of fast powerful exercise. Take some youtube video of your choice, do some aerobics, strength training, whatever. But fucking do it, in that order. Dressed and outside, then back home and sports, and then, after you've cooled off from the sports and taken a shower, then see about that job search. With the exercise, you're not looking for strength or some epic athletic performance. Don't even spend too much energy on it. But you are looking to wake the fuck up, to be active, get some pulse and oxygen and sweat going, to feel like you're no longer asleep and idling. It should be time limited, so that you know you can do it. THere's plenty of even 7 minute workouts on youtube, find and test some of those. Other ideas to consider: - Go outside, scan the city for random opportunities. Shitty menial seasonal jobs, that you can get into not for money, but to keep your momentum going. The indoors/outdoors cycle. Help Wanted posters. I don't know what's out there, neither do you. Be out there moving, looking, taking notes, not indoor and wasting time. - Start creating some sellable stuff. Go on etsy or other handmade type sites, and fucking look what people are making and selling. Start with something that's cheap to start with. My idea was plaster objects, hand painted, but you could do any sort of carving, picking up furniture that people throw away, repainting it in psychedelic patterns and putting it on ebay/etsy, whatever. MOVE that ass, see what's out there. A day spent looking and taking notes, even if you found nothing useful, is FAR better than a day spent indoors video gaming, feeling like an inactive shmuck. With plaster, all you need is a bag of plaster ($1) and some cheapo molds, and then some acrylics and brushes. Create some shit. Start small. Put them on facebook, I don't know, get pen and paper and put some brainstorming into this idea. WHat can you do, that would start earning even from home? How could you use your hands other than wasting away in video game land? Give Kachina Doll carving a try, all you need is a knife ![]() Oh, or Ojo de Dios. Holy fuck dude, that's just string and sticks. Looks absolutely pimp. Put a week into making those, you'll be selling the complex designs like a motherfucker. Paracord belts and bracelets. The belts especially, if you've got the patience, holy crap those look pimp and in a culture of mindless computerizing, nobody has the patience to actually make them. Plenty of shit you can do, you can't blame not having a job for you being on videogames all day. -------------------- For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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Anonymous #1 |
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Alright so today I spent little time thinking about all this shit like I always do, and instead got my ass moving. I took care of a lot of errands and chores that were bothering me. I do feel better about myself.
Someone posted a bashar video in another topic you posted in, the "identity crises" one. The video was about feeling like your in limbo, nothing really pulling or pushing you in any direction. That's how I feel right now. Like I said I gave up playing the game of muscle and money and I've made my measurement of success "happiness" or peace or chillness or fun. I don't need to be beaming with joy every second I'm awake, but something more than this. Anyway that crazy motherfucker Bashar said that this point isn't a bad one but is actually a good place to be, as I can move in any direction I want to. I guess what I want really right now is to be a calmer, chiller, less fearful person. I want to be less heady, more...grounded(?) or spacey (more present if you will), less anxious, to not have butterflies in my belly 24/7. I also want to be much more confident and competent (less akward!) in social situations. So what your saying is that it's all up to me? And that all I have to do is put more energy into acting and moving than thinking? Edited by Anonymous (12/28/14 06:44 PM)
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- - - > Registered: 10/13/12 Posts: 4,923 Last seen: 9 years, 1 month |
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Quote: Yep, pretty much. You decide your own level of involvement. You decide the cycles, the frequency and amplitude. We all get a limited amount of attention, time and energy per day, but you're complete lord and king over how you choose to spend yours. Fully enjoy that choice, study it, own it, use it and reap the rewards of whatever you choose. Ponder for a while the sine wave, the way life works. Ponder how lungs and hearts work, cyclically contracting and relaxing, and realize that most (if not all) of your systems work best for you, when used like that. Chill and relax some of the time (down swing of teh sine wave) and go for it full on, some of the time (the high points on the sine wave). Follow your body, if you get bored listen to that sensation and change things up. If you get tired, listen to that and take some sort of rest or break. Your solar plexus, chest and abdomen areas are all full of an abundance of signals, gut feelings, what's awesome to do and when, just start listening and going with it, (not against the grain) and you'll snap back on the wave in no time Your girl trusts you, trusts your instincts. Resume trusting them yourself, and it'll all start flowing way smoother for the both of you
-------------------- For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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Anonymous #1 |
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Thank you for your help.
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- then that's wasting your energy, failing to return rewards for energy put in.




