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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: Universaleyeni]
    #21021520 - 12/24/14 01:21 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Insults?  Oh you mean when I disagree with you that = insults. :satansmoking:

And yes, severe depression is pain. I've been there. Dark dark times. It's not terminal illness. Its not irreversible, and its up to the individual to contemplate a solution.  :shrug:


Wheres the "IMO, I think, my best guess"?


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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OfflineMental Slavery
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: Icelander]
    #21022163 - 12/24/14 04:59 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah, much more than ever before

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OfflineUniversaleyeni
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: Icelander] * 1
    #21022691 - 12/24/14 08:18 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Icelander said:
Insults?  Oh you mean when I disagree with you that = insults. :satansmoking:




No, when you call someone "arrogant" and "self serving" you are IMO insulting not conplementing.

Also, when you say someone is ignorant to heavy emotions THEY have experienced is kinda insulting. You don't know where my shoes have been. My life has been far from a cute coloring book. Having overcome shitty times, I feel qualified to speak, and have opinion on the matter.

No hard feelings. :heart:

Quote:

Icelander said:
And yes, severe depression is pain. I've been there. Dark dark times. It's not terminal illness. Its not irreversible, and its up to the individual to contemplate a solution.  :shrug:


Wheres the "IMO, I think, my best guess"?




Why would I include any of those pretexts when referring to a personal experience? You should go back and nitpick a lil better. I'm sure you could find better material to zing me on.

My good man, I wish not to continue this dead end exchange with you, and further throw off track AcidDrop's thread.

:peace:

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: Universaleyeni]
    #21024162 - 12/25/14 09:43 AM (9 years, 4 months ago)

You sure are sensitive.  To say one is being ignorant is not an insult but rather an observation of what you are stating.  You obviously have not flagged my posts so what does that say about how insulted you are?

And bullshit on the second part you said "to the individual" which does not just include you.  You're only kidding yourself on this one.  Sorry if that seems insulting.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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InvisibleEternalCowabunga
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: Icelander] * 1
    #21026391 - 12/25/14 10:52 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Sure I think about suicide from time to time. It used to be on my mind all the time.

When I contemplate it now it's kind of just in a self-amusing kind of way like "godamn sometimes life sucks I should walk in front of a train" but I'm not actually seriously thinking of doing it.

Whereas 5-7 years ago not only was I seriously thinking of doing it, but I actually tried it.

Life doesn't necessarily get better. You just get better at not giving a fuck. Plus drugs and alcohol help.


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Offlineaciddrop
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #21026742 - 12/26/14 01:02 AM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

EternalCowabunga said:
You just get better at not giving a fuck.




Not giving a fuck really helps. I think depression for the most part stems from not letting go. But that's just my opinion.

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InvisibleBreathlessVision
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: aciddrop]
    #21027104 - 12/26/14 07:42 AM (9 years, 4 months ago)

This, I have to admit is something I am confused about. I can't decide whether or not to kill myself because I can't decide if it's a good idea or not.

I often think about death as a possibility of escape, to leave this festering hell. There have been points in my life where I have wanted death because I supposed that it would be the escape away from all the pain.

There are different reasons that I have contemplated suicide for, when I was younger and depressed I was put on SSRIs and they made me more depressed and suicidal. All I wanted was to get away from a world that didn't give a shit about me but this impulse was mixed with the desire for attention as a teenager.

Now, when I contemplate suicide I would do it because I would feel pessimistic and conflicted about carrying on the human game but I'm only 19 and I don't think I have an answer to this, right now I'm more optimistic than I was before and don't think I need suicide.


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #21027226 - 12/26/14 09:15 AM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Life doesn't necessarily get better. You just get better at not giving a fuck. Plus drugs and alcohol help.

QFT


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Offlineaciddrop
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: BreathlessVision]
    #21027583 - 12/26/14 11:19 AM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

BreathlessVision said:
This, I have to admit is something I am confused about. I can't decide whether or not to kill myself because I can't decide if it's a good idea or not.

I often think about death as a possibility of escape, to leave this festering hell. There have been points in my life where I have wanted death because I supposed that it would be the escape away from all the pain.

There are different reasons that I have contemplated suicide for, when I was younger and depressed I was put on SSRIs and they made me more depressed and suicidal. All I wanted was to get away from a world that didn't give a shit about me but this impulse was mixed with the desire for attention as a teenager.

Now, when I contemplate suicide I would do it because I would feel pessimistic and conflicted about carrying on the human game but I'm only 19 and I don't think I have an answer to this, right now I'm more optimistic than I was before and don't think I need suicide.




I don't see the point in SSRIs. I used to take them as well and they did more harm then good for me.

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Offlinesprinkles
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: aciddrop]
    #21027594 - 12/26/14 11:21 AM (9 years, 4 months ago)

every human being thinks about suicide at one point or another.  That means your fucking normal.  Ruminating in thoughts of suicide is not.


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InvisibleT-Funkadelic
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: sprinkles]
    #21027713 - 12/26/14 11:53 AM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Sometimes I think of murdering certain people and making it look like a suicide.


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InvisiblehTx
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: T-Funkadelic]
    #21027851 - 12/26/14 12:29 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

I was very close to killing myself onetime..

I had hidden myself in a bathroom at some gas-station with a little pocket .38 with every intention of pulling the trigger and releasing a bullet into my skull.

I had, in that bout of major depression, one last saving grace in that I wanted to tell my sister goodbye and that I was sorry for what I was about to do.
she was, at that time and in my mind,  the only one who I felt would have truly been hurt by my doing this.
I called and told her I loved her and I started sobbing and told her "I'm so so sorry" and I hung up the phone.

I made one last plea to the universe, which went something like "If there is anything, anything out there at all, than prove it now"
And I pulled the trigger.

Click. Misfire or dud.
Nothing, and almost two seconds later, the door was slammed open (somehow the lock had broke) and to my surprise, there stood my mother..who somehow knew what was going on already (maybe my sister told her) and somehow found me. She and the gas station attendant subdued me and called an ambulance.

I spent the next 5 days in the loony bin wondering why the hell I wasn't dead, or if I did, in fact, die and this was just some limbo simulation playing out.

I also never thought about suicide again.


--------------------
zen by age ten times six hundred lifetimes
Light up the darkness.

Edited by hTx (12/26/14 12:31 PM)

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: hTx]
    #21027866 - 12/26/14 12:31 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Poor planning.

You know there are much easier ways to off yourself and much less messy. :wink:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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InvisiblehTx
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: Icelander]
    #21027879 - 12/26/14 12:34 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah I know now haha but at the time, it seemed like the quickest and easiest way to go..

I was walking around my city for an hour or so thinking about how horrible everything was and if I should really do this.

Made the decision, and I did pull the trigger..

but I still feel there was something within myself that really didn't want to die..and not dying really made me connect with that part of myself.


--------------------
zen by age ten times six hundred lifetimes
Light up the darkness.

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: hTx]
    #21027901 - 12/26/14 12:38 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

I don't think most people WANT to die.  I think they feel that death is the least painful option to a hopeless situation.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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OfflineMental Slavery
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: hTx]
    #21027919 - 12/26/14 12:43 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Damn, are you feeling better now hTx?

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Offlineaciddrop
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: Mental Slavery]
    #21027970 - 12/26/14 12:53 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

I've tried to kill myself as well. The worse thing is when you fail. I ate a handful of pills and slit my wrist, more like almost cut my arm off with a box cutter and passed out. I woke up off and on at the hospital (with no idea on how I got there at the time) and was told that my arm will most likely get amputated. That shit was scary and it was a miracle that it healed. In conclusion, it's not worth it with all the advances in medicine. They can bring you back and you could be in a worse state then you were before. It took me 7 years to somewhat fully recover from that injury and my arm still hurts like hell from time to time.

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InvisiblehTx
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: Mental Slavery]
    #21028017 - 12/26/14 01:04 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Mental Slavery said:
Damn, are you feeling better now hTx?



much much better..
the events described above took place almost three years ago.
after that, I did notice I was beginning to notice and connect to the universe again through synchronicity in a positive way (i was experiencing rather negative synchronicity prior to this) and I realized how much it would hurt others around me which in some twisted way made me feel loved I suppose haha. I also felt very zen about a lot events and situations sort of all-of-a-sudden like.

this healed me almost instantly of whatever existential depression I was afflicted by.

It was a similiar feeling that I had after my NDE which happened two years or so prior to my suicide attempt.


--------------------
zen by age ten times six hundred lifetimes
Light up the darkness.

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OfflineMental Slavery
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: hTx]
    #21028242 - 12/26/14 02:07 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

that's good to hear

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InvisibleBreathlessVision
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Re: Does any1 here ever think about suicide? [Re: aciddrop]
    #21028441 - 12/26/14 03:02 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah seriously they just fucked me up, my psychiatrist looked at me and said here go on these meds and you'll be fine.

I found that for me weed worked wonders at getting rid of my depression, it doesn't help everybody but it helped me realize how idiotic my thoughts are, helped me to see clearer so to speak.


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