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Invisiblevampirism
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Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 8,120
Dear God,
    #2098551 - 11/12/03 08:55 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

"Please make it fucking stop"
sigh

i am burnt out beyond belief.
i want to die, but the caffeine
is making me conscious

I must finish rewriting a paper..

i sent a draft to my teacher, and the
response was something like this:

"dont send me another draft
until you get with a tutor!!
make an appointment NOW"

now, the paper is due tomorrow and
my appointment is on the 19th..
(soonest possible ... )

I work 4 hours monday-tuesday,wednesday,thursday
doing slave labor for a convenience store, and getting
payed a quarter above minimum wage.

Ive been getting very little sleep, i have tons of shit
to do, and im stuck.

itd be nice if i could relate to someone, but nooo
i have like 2 actual friends, and they're far away from me.
I talk and junk. im almost a normal person! heh.
but it seems people just sort of hate me. im nice, and ive
been told that im interesting and intelligent, but that
doesn't seem to go very far.

Maybe i'm butt ugly? But no,
*everyone* else seems to do much better in everything
than me. Cute girls occasionally say hi to me on the street
or in random places, but i usually just manage to get out a hi or something along the lines. one time i didnt realize the girl was
talking to me and i just sort of walked by.. boy that made me feel
shitty. ( i say this because i feel it somehow justifies me
not being butt ugly )

but then what is it
sigh

im a burnt out, lifeless, alienated hunk of human sewage
wonderful

ive never had a girlfriend, and don't know what i'm doing anymore.
I apparently don't look too well, one of the more verbose people i took at a cash register today ( i like the cash register. not slave labor- actually somewhat fun, in a way.. ) asked, alarmed, "are you all right????"

i make a funny face and say "yeah, im fine." as if it were extremely
odd that she were asking...

sigh...
again,
Dear God,
Please make it fucking stop.



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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: Dear God, [Re: ]
    #2098710 - 11/12/03 09:30 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)



Hey man.. relax!

If you want I could tell you about my fucked up life, and we could compare and contrast and see who's had it worse..but I doubt that will make you feel any better  :grin:

Maybe you need to get some perspective. I've always found a weekend trip going camping does wonders in that aspect. Get back in touch with nature and your survival instincts..you will come back to the "real world" with a much different attitude on things...usually.

Don't worry about things that are out of your control, it will just cause you more stress. The things that are in your control... TAKE CONTROL! If your job sucks.. find a better one. If you have tons of shit to do and not enough time.. figure out your priorites and do things one at a time. I don't suppose my pushing you for the website is helping either.. which may I remind you, you need not worry about at all. If you still want to do it, that's fine.. take all the time you need and I will help in any way. If you don't want to, that is also perfectly fine. But just the fact that you were willing to help out of the kindness of your heart shows me that you are a very caring person.

Part of the problem, I think.. is your perception of yourself. Chances are, if you call yourself a piece of sewage and such, you are going to feel and act that way. I used to think I was worthless to everyone, depressed and couldn't do anything.. and I acted accordingly. Reality and other people have a good way of slapping some sense into you though, when you reach that point.

Hey man, I've been in the pits of despair..like seriously.. and somehow I've gotten out. A few weeks ago I didn't have a place to live, no money, my license was suspended, I couldn't go anywhere, no internet, people hating me, and on and on.. I could've died right there.. but I didn't.. I kept on. Sometimes that's the most important thing you can do.

The key is to love yourself. It may be hard right now, but the reason for hard situations is, if nothing else, to learn from them and grow and evolve as a person. Don't hate yourself! If you see something in your personality/character/whatever that you think should not be there.. don't dwell on it.. transform it! Face it.. head on. Don't bullshit with yourself..be completely honest. Go within and face those things that are holding you down, because you can't change the world until you fix yourself!

You are not stuck. It only feels that way right now. If you want to get unstuck.. do something about it! Change the way you think about the whole situation.. do/think things you would not normally do.. just get out of that same pattern that is making you 'stuck' in the first place.

If you want to talk on AIM I'd be happy to help.

"Reaching into the dark, retrieving light"

Love and Light



 


--------------------


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Re: Dear God, [Re: ]
    #2098712 - 11/12/03 09:31 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

heh, sounds alot like my life....

god, (if you believe in that sort of thing...judging from your post, i get the assumption that you do) "cant"...or rather,  "wont"   make it stop...you see, he gave you the power to do as you please...he gave you free will...its up to you to make it stop.  :grin: 


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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OfflineStonedShroom
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Re: Dear God, [Re: ]
    #2098751 - 11/12/03 09:40 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Hey man, term papers are a drag. If you need a tutor hit me up on MSN. I was in AP English since 7th grade, I can write a term paper, citations, quotations, and paraphrases with my eyes closed. Oh and did I mention a Bibliography on top of it all?

A few simple rules:
1)Don't type term papers like you type posts here.... meaning don't write like you talk, because most people don't normally talk in a 'formal' fashion.

2) NEVER EVER EVER use the word 'you' in a paper! Use One or He/she.

4)DO NOT use contractions. Always spell out numbers, except percentages. For example: Out of the twenty-one students, only 45% could not recite the alphabet backwards.

5)Follow this VERY basic formula:

I. Introduction
Start off with something that will reach out and grab your reader's attention. Your teacher has to grade 100s of papers that will all start off in the same boring syntax everyother mediocre essay starts off with. Having an original, attention grabbing introduction will definatly help you out as far as how hard your teacher grades... But keep it formal! This paragraph will include your thesis statement. You thesis statement should bring up at least three points you want to make by writing this paper. When you list these things start with your least strongest argument and save the best for last (unless it's a timed paper, in that case its the opposite)

II-IV: these are your points.
This is where you pick apart your own thesis. Be sure to address and rebuttle anything that contradicts your points. It's best if you have sort of a mini-essay layout for each paragraph. A thesis sentence, several supporting sentences, and a conclusive sentence.

V: Conclusion

Be poetic! Learn the perplex persuasive properties of plentiful alliteration, please. This is basically where you enforce everything you just said. Make it short, sweet, powerful, and to the point. Always end your peper with a really good power sentence that will make your reader really think about what you ust wrote... don't just leave them hanging.

You don't want your essay to sound like a machine... but you don't want it to sound too informal. It's hard to find that balance, but once you get into the groove, there should be no stopping you.

you can do it!!

I hope I helped you out


--------------------
We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience.

We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.



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Invisiblevampirism
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Posts: 8,120
Re: Dear God, [Re: StonedShroom]
    #2098790 - 11/12/03 09:47 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

hey i took two years of AP english in high school and made my fair share of good papers. My grammar is perfect and i use formal stuff perfectly, none of your comments really apply...........

apparently theres 6 points to a good paper,
and im very bad at coherence


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Invisiblevampirism
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Posts: 8,120
Re: Dear God, [Re: ]
    #2098817 - 11/12/03 09:52 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

i cant tell if i seemed rude in that post, but i'm very sorry if i did. i certainly didn't mean to. thanks for the attempted help though (fuck does that sound rude?? aaaaaaaaaah fuckk.. im sorry if it did too. fuck fuck )


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OfflineStonedShroom
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Re: Dear God, [Re: ]
    #2098822 - 11/12/03 09:53 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

well, if it's a long paper then yeah there will be more than three points.

sounds like you have one of those asshole freshmen/sophomore teachers who take pride that only a few people manage to squeak by with a C+. they're bitter and try to say this is how the 'real world' is.  :shake:

if you ask me they're a waste of money... you didn't pay $300 or more for a course to be beaten down, you paid to learn. Mention that next time (s)he says something shitty to you.


--------------------
We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience.

We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.



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Invisiblevampirism
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Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 8,120
Re: Dear God, [Re: StonedShroom]
    #2098831 - 11/12/03 09:57 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

sigh
shitloads of loans (what, like 20 in just loans for this year ) and this class is just a goddamn requirement. im never EVER going to need writing in what i plan to be doing. the lady is fine, shes a bit nutsy but w/e. when she writes stuff about my paper she seems to hate me to no end, but
when i talk in person she's nie about it. hmmmm


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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: Dear God, [Re: ]
    #2098867 - 11/12/03 10:08 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Maybe if you write your papers like you hate her.. you will reach her same wavelength?  :grin: 


--------------------


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Invisiblevampirism
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Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 8,120
Re: Dear God, [Re: Shroomism]
    #2098877 - 11/12/03 10:13 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

do you know, that may actually be a very very good point?
I've been writing them as if i liked her!
pfft
time to get pissed
shit
i need energy for that
hmmm


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