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InvisibleTinMan
Stranger

Registered: 10/01/02
Posts: 2,956
Loc: Russia
Women that just don't get it
    #2098400 - 11/12/03 08:14 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

I work with or know a lot of these kind of women. They will get beaten or cheated on by their boyfriends, but they are too stupid to break up. I feel sorry for them, but I think if they don't break up, they deserve all the suffering they get. Any opinions?


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OfflineboOM
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Re: Women that just don't get it [Re: TinMan]
    #2098585 - 11/12/03 09:00 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

i don't necessarily think that they deserve the suffering they get if they stay with their boyfriends who do such acts...a majority of women are quite insecure and clingy...women also tend to hope for the best and look for a change in their partner.



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Anonymous #1

Re: Women that just don't get it [Re: boO]
    #2098658 - 11/12/03 09:17 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

i don't feel sorry for them, they like getting treated like that.


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Offlinewrestler_az
PsiLLy BiLLy
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Re: Women that just don't get it [Re: TinMan]
    #2098676 - 11/12/03 09:21 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

i dont think anyone "deserves" to be treated like that, but if they are not willing to leave such a situation, alot of their pain and suffering was self inflicted...i have grown tired of feeling sorry for these types of women


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: Women that just don't get it [Re: TinMan]
    #2098725 - 11/12/03 09:34 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

(I have posted this in other threads so I apologize for the
redundancy).

Women love guys who treat them like shit and are turned off by guys
who treat them well. I think they like the challenge and the drama
of having a guy be "difficult". At least this is what I have
noticed in my short time on this earth.


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OfflineStonedShroom
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Re: Women that just don't get it [Re: TinMan]
    #2098801 - 11/12/03 09:48 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

It's true. Women do like to think we can change someone.

It's in our nature to think that we can see the 'real' person underneath it all... and try to bring that person out.

Truth is, what you see is what you get; it's who they are. Only thing that will change someone is themselves.


--------------------
We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience.

We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.



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OfflineSanityIsOvrRated
Live for Today

Registered: 10/23/03
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Loc: NY
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Re: Women that just don't get it [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #2099628 - 11/13/03 01:36 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

<-----is not at all turned off by nice guys

I hate people who don't tip well, though. I don't know what's up with chicks that like assholes. I understand the desire to "change" someone, but it's much better to find someone you can love for who they are.


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Invisiblevampirism
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Registered: 03/14/04
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Re: Women that just don't get it [Re: SanityIsOvrRated]
    #2099643 - 11/13/03 01:44 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

hey, i have trouble tipping girls...
well not that i tip guys


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InvisibleEvilEwok
Stranger
Registered: 10/09/03
Posts: 574
Re: Women that just don't get it [Re: SanityIsOvrRated]
    #2099654 - 11/13/03 01:49 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

You forgot to add women are ^^^hypocrits^^^ too..  :rolleyes: :lol:


--------------------
Now go Home.


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Offlinewhole9
LOVE ME BITCH

Registered: 04/28/03
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Re: Women that just don't get it [Re: EvilEwok]
    #2100279 - 11/13/03 05:54 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

<3 women


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Offlinesykobish
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Re: Women that just don't get it [Re: TinMan]
    #2100378 - 11/13/03 06:47 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

DISCLAIMER: This is my opinion and what i believe to be the reason for this behavior.  It's controversal and as always, i'm up for a good debate. :smirk:

I've been dying for a post like this that i could comment on.  I hope you are all ready to read. :wink: Let me break it down for you what a woman (or an abused man) really thinks about this kind of behavior, speaking from my own experience and the experience i've heard from others in the same situation.

1. Firstly, Why are women turned off by nice guys?

It's not that we are turned off by nice guys.  But i think as we mature, we begin to grow out of the 'bad boy' phase.  Being with the 'bad boy' initially gives a sense of adventure, rebelling, etc.  But mostly, i believe that it is more about the chase.  Someone who isn't 'nice' to us all the time, keeps us wanting them more because they aren't so easy to catch.  Until we hit a certain age or mentality, girls will always be attracted to the bad boy persona.  As we get older, we realize that we dont want an asshole.. that we want a nice guy. But we dont want a guy who will give us the world, who will be there at our beck and call constantly.  It's all about the chase.  A good lasting relationship consists of that 'little extra' that we want from our significant other, but can't quite get it.  It keeps us from becoming 'bored'.  If there is something that is constantly out of our reach, we will always reach for it.  I'm not saying it's a single thing.  It's hard to give an explaination as to what i'm trying to say.  But i'm sure you can all agree when i say if you are dating someone .. or are interested in someone, but they are constantly 'there'.. constantly willing to do everything and anything for you, it gets rather tedious and boring.  There's nothing to keep us 'wanting'.  You know?  I'll leave it at that since i can't think of any other way to explain it further.

2. Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

For many reasons.  First thing that comes to mind is the classic BWS.  Or better known as Battered Women Syndrome.  BWS can occur even when someone is not in an abusive relationship.  I have BWS.  It's when you stay in a relationship, whether it be physically and/or mentally abusive or neither.. but you feel that if you show enough love in the relationship, that the person that you 'fell in love with' will emerge.  The sense that 'if i love him, he will change'.  We thrive on keeping that 'romantic stage' alive.  It's sad really and it sends you on a crash course of self mental abuse.  Women who get physically abused usually have such a low self esteem that they dont feel they DESERVE any better.. or that they can get any better.  They also get used to routine.  They feel lost without it.  That's why many cases of women who have been abused will end up returning to the same situation.  I was with an abusive guy 3 years ago.  He lived with me for 6 long months.  He had me convinced that i was every negative thing he told me i was.  That no one else wanted me.. that i was ugly, etc.  Usually it begins with mental abuse.  They attack your mind and your self esteem so that when they do begin with the physical abuse, you are so down on yourself that you feel there is no one out there to help you.. or that you aren't worthy of help.  It's a very hard cycle to break out of.  When my ex began hitting me, i fought back.  It got pretty bad sometimes, but what pushed me over the edge was when he hit me and drew blood on the bridge of my nose, close to my eye.  My contact had been knocked out of my eye so i couldn't see, and when i felt the blood, i lost it.  I thought it was from my eye and that i would be blind.  I kicked him out that day.

Anyways, what i'm trying to get at is that it's not as easy to get out of as some people may think.  Especially if the abuser starts with the mental abuse first.  That breaks you down, and once you are broken, it's hard to make the change and the choices you know you should make.  What really pisses me off is when people say "They deserve it if they are stupid enough to put up with it."  You have to understand the length at which it happens.  Sure, there might be someone who, in the beginning of the relationship, gets physically abused and stays with that person.  To everyone else, that would be a sure sign of stupidity.  But you have to take into account HOW MANY TIMES this has happened in that persons life in the past.. and how broken that person may be.

I could go on forever about this topic.  But i know how we all hate to read long posts so i'll end my thoughts on this now. :thumbup:       


--------------------
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
Global Living Space


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Offlineruskifile
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Registered: 05/12/02
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Re: Women that just don't get it [Re: TinMan]
    #2101186 - 11/13/03 12:30 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

TinMan said:
I work with or know a lot of these kind of women. They will get beaten or cheated on by their boyfriends, but they are too stupid to break up. I feel sorry for them, but I think if they don't break up, they deserve all the suffering they get. Any opinions? 





4 words - FUCKING LOW SELF ESTEEM....


self-hatred can tend to do that to ya. You think you're shit....therefore you wholeheartedly believe you deserve to be treated like shit  :crazy:     


--------------------
(zhukov in a previous life....)

2SER FM underground radio


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OfflineStrongBad
pharm lover
Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 335
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Re: Women that just don't get it [Re: ruskifile]
    #2107061 - 11/14/03 06:35 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

^^^^

No other explaination. It's true.

And sometimes, that cheating/beating husband is all she has left. It's like if your house catches fire...the woman will stay in the house and be burned alive. She won't leave.


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Offlinesykobish
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Re: Women that just don't get it [Re: StrongBad]
    #2107106 - 11/14/03 06:45 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

:frown: I assume you guys didn't read my long ass post.  Someones gotta read it!! I put alot of time into that thing, and everything you two said is exactly what i covered.. only in more detail.


--------------------
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
Global Living Space


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OfflineStrongBad
pharm lover
Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 335
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Re: Women that just don't get it [Re: sykobish]
    #2107148 - 11/14/03 07:02 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

break it up into more paragraphs  :cool:


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Offlinesykobish
ProfessionalPsycho - JTOKREW
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Re: Women that just don't get it [Re: StrongBad]
    #2107153 - 11/14/03 07:05 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

heh I can't really.. every paragraph explains in detail what i talk about in each paragraph.. (i hope that didn't thoroughly confuse you) :smile:


--------------------
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
Global Living Space


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InvisibleTheDude
is waiting forthe peak

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 2,876
Re: Women that just don't get it [Re: sykobish]
    #2107300 - 11/14/03 07:52 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

I read it kid :smile:.

I agree with everything you said, but it doesn't change the fact that #1 still makes it hard for me to meet a chick.  I'm one of the nice guys that never gets a chance (i still haven't had a g/f if you dig).  I think this is because the nice guys never 'play the game', (I know I don't because I don't see the need for it).  I want a girl to like me and not the game we're supposed to play, not what she thinks she can change about me or whatever other aspects elude her. 

I'm nice because that's how I'd like other people to act towards me, its a sign of respect.  It just bothers me that I'm never given the chance to be more than that.  Oh well, I try not to stress about it too much.  Maybe I don't know what I'm missing, but then again, maybe it's just not for me  :confused:


--------------------
"this lebowski he called himself 'the dude'. now, 'dude', that's a name no one would self-apply where i come from but there was a lot about the dude that didn't make sense to me...."--the Stranger


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OfflineLikwidDrawp
Dance EnergyConjuror

Registered: 07/10/03
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Re: Women that just don't get it [Re: TheDude]
    #2109435 - 11/15/03 05:44 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

be a nice guy that plays the game without going overboard.

try not to remain in the "friends category"

when you feel it is right to make a move and you hesitate, you are shooting yourself in the leg. STOP SHOOTING YOURSELF ITS CRAZY!!!


--------------------


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OfflineNiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'
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Re: Women that just don't get it [Re: LikwidDrawp]
    #2110471 - 11/16/03 01:56 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

Being a raging feminist, I like guys that treat me well, and would kick my boyfriend in the balls if he ever hit me. (Then dump his ass of course.) Thankfully that's unlikely to happen, since the boy thinks women are amazing and is totally offended and dismayed at his sister who thinks women should buy into the role of housewife. Nice guys, feminist guys, are wonderful and any woman with any confidence realizes that.


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Offlinesykobish
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Re: Women that just don't get it [Re: TheDude]
    #2111041 - 11/16/03 09:19 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

Maybe the girls you are wanting to get in a relationship with are the kinds of girls that haven't gotten over the 'bad boy' stage yet. We all go thru that stage. And some of us never come out.


--------------------
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
Global Living Space


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