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OfflineRorge
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My descent into schizophrenia
    #20962330 - 12/11/14 02:41 PM (9 years, 5 months ago)

So, I completely lost it. My mind is gone. I'd rather not go into the details of how it happened. It's clear as day to everyone, very sad for me.

My question is this. Once you lose it, and the personality and mind are mostly thrown out the window, can it come back, or it will it continue to be sucked away? I am against treatment and don't want meds. The way I see it, meds will just zombify me so that I don't think at all except in a single direction.

Luckily I am not prone to violence or suicide, which I hear is the only way to be forcibly committed. Is this in fact true?

Need some help here.

I'd like to add that I essentially didn't sleep for 3 days. I'd lie in bed and time would slip by quickly, but I'm fairly positive I wasn't sleeping. Last night, I did sleep though.

I'm living with my parents who know I've lost it. I worked every day at a low salary job for nearly a year. My current job allows me to take off indefinitely. I haven't worked for a few weeks now, and I'm afraid to take a job (they are at different locations, temp agency) in the shape I'm in.

Also, I smoke cigarettes on the hour. I know they are making it worse but I don't want to stop. I have ceased all other drugs, including alcohol.

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OfflineFaustoid
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Re: My descent into schizophrenia [Re: Rorge]
    #20962382 - 12/11/14 02:52 PM (9 years, 5 months ago)

Hit up Google for schizophrenia without meds. There are tons of success stories of people succeeding using different methods.

Hang in there man, there is always hope.

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Offlinecircastes
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Re: My descent into schizophrenia [Re: Faustoid] * 1
    #20963579 - 12/11/14 07:45 PM (9 years, 5 months ago)

Please my friend, ACCEPT ANTIPSYCHOTIC TREATMENT!

You are under a really stupid pop culture approach to the medications, probably from Hollywood movies etc.

They DON'T zombify you, you should stop that antipsychotic if that happens and try another one.

The psychiatrists and case workers are decent people trying to help with science behind them.

Yes you will only get committed if you become a threat to self and/or others.

Which means you can just rot in your illness without medication indefinitely, and plenty of people do it. I did it. Didn't work out for me!

I'm now on Solian after switching a few times with mixed results and I can say I feel almost completely back to normal.

There is no reason to be against medication. Some people take clozapine, the most effective antipsychotic, and they just get back into it. No kidding. It just goes back to normal for them.

I think you have two courses of action now -

1. Tell your parents you want help, fast, and they will need to book you into a GP who will then refer you

2. Go to the E.R. and tell them you're psychotic and describe all your symptoms and they will get you medicated ASAP and hopefully referred to a clinic too, this is a bit faster.

Honestly, don't think you can beat it alone. Alternative treatment are hogwash, it's a dopamine imbalance, you want medications that inhibit dopamine transmission, end of story.


--------------------
My solitude...
My shield...
My armour...

TESTED
WITH
FULL
FORCE

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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: My descent into schizophrenia [Re: Rorge]
    #20964611 - 12/11/14 11:32 PM (9 years, 5 months ago)

Sounds very similar to what happened to my sister. I would seek medical help immediately.

You may someday be able to function without the use of anti-psychotics, but if you are currently in a place where you can't even work due to your psychosis; it is probably a good idea to get medicated in order to stabilize.

You're not suicidal now, but you never know where the psychosis might take you.

Good luck!

:hug:


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Invisiblefoodsgoodtoo
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Re: My descent into schizophrenia [Re: circastes]
    #20964812 - 12/12/14 12:31 AM (9 years, 5 months ago)

gotta say always cringe when hearing about always being a chemical imbalance but alas do try to keep an open mind.

Reading OP trading the cigerettes for the meds would be a fair trade in order to get well. Goodluck. Just wishing was brave as to post and get help in a certain direction aswell when time comes.

But dont feel bad have read instances of musicians having the same deal and they move millions upon millions of dollars so its not the end of the world. :wink:

come to think of it time is usually some of the best medicine seeing people of various ages mentally breaking down. think if it was methodical and carefully planned that a "rebound" could be in order for ones life and other to have notice nothing at all. less its just luck to never having to deal but just rambling...


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Edited by foodsgoodtoo (12/12/14 12:50 AM)

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OfflineRorge
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Re: My descent into schizophrenia [Re: foodsgoodtoo]
    #20965518 - 12/12/14 07:25 AM (9 years, 5 months ago)

Feeling a lot better today. Reading some things on the net helped immensely.

You guys are supportive, thanks.

I wish I'd worked yesterday and today, I probably coulda done it, just sitting around is obviously no good. I will say, I'm feeling way better today. Some post on the shroomery here was real accurate, about a weak ego structure collapsing.

Anyway, the best thing for me now is making music and exercising. My father, who on all fronts should despise me for what I've done, still supports me and got me a membership at the local gym. I had a free training session, that was fun just to talk to someone and to get excercise. Got another on Monday.

I think I'll go for a run today, despite the cold weather. Still smoking cigs. Oh yeah, I have a meeting with the psychologist today, he does scare me a bit now, but it should be okay .

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OfflineRorge
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Re: My descent into schizophrenia [Re: Rorge]
    #20980381 - 12/15/14 04:00 PM (9 years, 5 months ago)

This is it. I've entered hell. I can no longer work. My presence is poison. It is extremely tiring for anyone to speak to me because I give nothing back. Strangely I had a moment where I can back for about 4 hours, regained spontaneity, etc. I thought it would last but then poof, gone.

I will likely begin a regimen of meds in the future. This is hell though, because the disorder shoos people away from you. I do think of this as punishment for my behaviors. Peace.

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Invisiblefoodsgoodtoo
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Re: My descent into schizophrenia [Re: Rorge]
    #20981367 - 12/15/14 06:54 PM (9 years, 5 months ago)

well to provide feedback - these posts are the MOST interesting.

No doctor ofcourse yadda though since this follows everybody hoping will be able to seriously pull through the illusion and don't let it bring the mind down. Some people have useful journals. Think the best piece of advice IS do what the mind feels and just don't be afraid of anything like taking meds and halting things mine as well. Just do something productive so this feedback gave something :thumbup:

Remember when back in that state which was three to four years back, just started reading a book series though don't remember much there were pieces in that book that did stick.


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Offlinegshock50
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Re: My descent into schizophrenia [Re: foodsgoodtoo]
    #20981421 - 12/15/14 07:04 PM (9 years, 5 months ago)

While I don't have experience or too much knowledge on schizophrenia, I would definitely encourage keeping busy as it tends to keep your mind from wandering off. Sending good vibes your way and will be following this thread. :mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2:


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"It is the nature of the wise to resist pleasures, but the foolish to be a slave to them. "

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InvisiblezZZz
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Re: My descent into schizophrenia [Re: Rorge]
    #20983356 - 12/16/14 06:48 AM (9 years, 5 months ago)

what exactly goes through your head during the day?


have you tried control + alt + delete?

jk.. :tongue:

i was serious about the first question tho.


if need to talk or anything shoot me a pm. i think i could help u somewhat..


--------------------
https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv

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InvisibleAlgo
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Re: My descent into schizophrenia [Re: zZZz]
    #20983409 - 12/16/14 07:21 AM (9 years, 5 months ago)

I know what that is like I was on the brink, at one point in my life I thought that"all was lost", but just remember it is never lost just not pursued. if that makes sense. you need to keep yourself busy. instead of looking at everyone with anger or whatever negative feelings you might have, look at people with love and that they don't look at you with negative thoughts but rather positive ones. I did this and before you know it lifes glass was half full and not half empty. I used to think everyone had a se cert agenda against me but realized I was creating those thoughts and now for me they have completely vanished. remember whatever hobbies you have and find your purpose. Just remember positive vibes yo!! you will get better takes time


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InvisiblezZZz
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Re: My descent into schizophrenia [Re: Algo]
    #20984398 - 12/16/14 12:16 PM (9 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

you will get better takes time




this is a major key.

when u are trying to improve yourself don't expect results the same day. it's going to take time and knowing this you're more than likely to persevere.


--------------------
https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv

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OfflineAlyssa
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Re: My descent into schizophrenia [Re: Rorge] * 1
    #20987317 - 12/16/14 11:07 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Rorge said:
This is it. I've entered hell. I can no longer work. My presence is poison. It is extremely tiring for anyone to speak to me because I give nothing back. Strangely I had a moment where I can back for about 4 hours, regained spontaneity, etc. I thought it would last but then poof, gone.

I will likely begin a regimen of meds in the future. This is hell though, because the disorder shoos people away from you. I do think of this as punishment for my behaviors. Peace.



You sound like a really sensitive person. It's not your fault, other people are the problem. The world is fucked to the core, and having enlightened yourself on psychedelics you've realized this at least subconsciously and you've disengaged.

Why do you think you're losing your mind? People just tell you that to pressure you back into conformity, their piece of shit society is all they know and their brainwashed response is to tell you you're crazy. They dismiss you with the stigma of "mental illness" so that they have a consensus to ignore everything you perceive about them and their destroyed world. Don't fuck with pharmaceuticals or buy into any of the bullshit they're using to make you feel bad about yourself, just immerse yourself in cannabinoid induced bliss to heal the emotional trauma caused by the psychopathic way people treat you.

I'm here if you want to talk, your words convey an intense need for understanding and I'll try my best. I also recommend trying to make telepathic contact with an angel, which people consider to be having an imaginary friend but if she's real to you she exists because consciousness is a physical phenomenon. Talk out loud without addressing anyone on Earth if you feel the desire to, fuck what people think.


--------------------
I'm Alyssa.
I'm consecrated to the Immaculate Heart.
I don't want her to have to look at adultery to save my privileged living cells, so please keep it PG-13.

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OfflineAlmond Flour
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Re: My descent into schizophrenia [Re: Alyssa]
    #20987381 - 12/16/14 11:26 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

What are you being punished for?


--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:

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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: My descent into schizophrenia [Re: Rorge] * 2
    #20989149 - 12/17/14 12:22 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Rorge said:
This is it. I've entered hell. I can no longer work. My presence is poison. It is extremely tiring for anyone to speak to me because I give nothing back. Strangely I had a moment where I can back for about 4 hours, regained spontaneity, etc. I thought it would last but then poof, gone.

I will likely begin a regimen of meds in the future. This is hell though, because the disorder shoos people away from you. I do think of this as punishment for my behaviors. Peace.




You know in many cultures psychotic breaks are considered initiations, just to give you a different perspective, and something to keep in mind as you will probably be moving through the western version of "treatment" for your condition.

http://themindunleashed.org/2014/08/shaman-sees-mental-hospital.html


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Offlinekoods
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Re: My descent into schizophrenia [Re: yogabunny]
    #20997818 - 12/19/14 06:40 AM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Have you been diagnosed with schizophrenia? I ask because, honestly, there is nothing in what - or more importantly - the way you have described your situation that sounds like psychosis or schizophrenia. There have been a number of users who have had visible psychotic breaks on the Shroomery and they always have two things in common: they ramble and talk about things that are frankly just bizarre and they don't seem to realize much is wrong.

Seriously, the best sign that someone isn't schizophrenic is them thinking they are schizophrenic.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”

Edited by koods (12/19/14 06:43 AM)

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OfflineAmorphouspattern
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Re: My descent into schizophrenia [Re: koods]
    #20997839 - 12/19/14 06:56 AM (9 years, 4 months ago)

My personal view is psychology isn't a science I mean psychiatrist where removing peoples body parts to stop the illness's they made up not long ago and also
the DSM is bull shit because they removed homosexuality as a mental illness because of pressure from gay protesters so how can it be a science...they aren't real doctors but they can help some people when there not trying to get every one on drugs.
I doubt anyone can walk out without a prescription.

Free will isn't real or so 'they' say
Think about that and you will go nuts I had to stop myself from
dwelling on it.

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Offlinem4dScientist
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Re: My descent into schizophrenia [Re: Rorge]
    #20998829 - 12/19/14 12:51 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Rorge said:
So, I completely lost it. My mind is gone. I'd rather not go into the details of how it happened. It's clear as day to everyone, very sad for me.

My question is this. Once you lose it, and the personality and mind are mostly thrown out the window, can it come back, or it will it continue to be sucked away? I am against treatment and don't want meds. The way I see it, meds will just zombify me so that I don't think at all except in a single direction.

Luckily I am not prone to violence or suicide, which I hear is the only way to be forcibly committed. Is this in fact true?

Need some help here.

I'd like to add that I essentially didn't sleep for 3 days. I'd lie in bed and time would slip by quickly, but I'm fairly positive I wasn't sleeping. Last night, I did sleep though.

I'm living with my parents who know I've lost it. I worked every day at a low salary job for nearly a year. My current job allows me to take off indefinitely. I haven't worked for a few weeks now, and I'm afraid to take a job (they are at different locations, temp agency) in the shape I'm in.

Also, I smoke cigarettes on the hour. I know they are making it worse but I don't want to stop. I have ceased all other drugs, including alcohol.




op, if you are in fact schizo, you NEED meds. it cant be conquered through willpower along like some forms of depression. meds can be a hard thing on the ego. we all want to believe were strong enough to conquer our problems, but the reality is, sometimes brains are broken. just like diabetics need insulin, some ppl need meds. sometimes its easier to swallow your pride n take a pill, then suffer for years n years cause we want to believe "we can do it by ourselves"

from experience i will tell you two things. insomnia will take a toll on you if youre not sleeping whatsoever. if you can however manage to get a few hours of sleep a night, youll be fine. ive been doing it for years now. however, kick the cigarettes. the stimulatory effects are only gonna fuck up your sleep, and your cortisol levels are probably sky high from smoking, which will also keep you from getting some shut eye.

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OfflineAlyssa
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Re: My descent into schizophrenia [Re: m4dScientist]
    #20999079 - 12/19/14 02:10 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

m4dScientist said:
op, if you are in fact schizo, you NEED meds. it cant be conquered through willpower along like some forms of depression. meds can be a hard thing on the ego. we all want to believe were strong enough to conquer our problems, but the reality is, sometimes brains are broken. just like diabetics need insulin, some ppl need meds. sometimes its easier to swallow your pride n take a pill, then suffer for years n years cause we want to believe "we can do it by ourselves"

from experience i will tell you two things. insomnia will take a toll on you if youre not sleeping whatsoever. if you can however manage to get a few hours of sleep a night, youll be fine. ive been doing it for years now. however, kick the cigarettes. the stimulatory effects are only gonna fuck up your sleep, and your cortisol levels are probably sky high from smoking, which will also keep you from getting some shut eye.



OP, if you're still here, don't listen to this bullshit. No one has a deficiency of some chemical unlike anything found in nature and used to suppress rebellion against society and sell billions of dollars a year worth of drugs by fucking up people's brains. Only you know what you're experiencing, they just know how to brainwash people into conformism and sell drugs. Get in tune with your emotions and reach out to caring people for support. Even if there's no one nearby, I'm always here. You can talk to me about your feelings and I'll try to understand even though I can't claim to know what it's like for you. I hope you're feeling better.


--------------------
I'm Alyssa.
I'm consecrated to the Immaculate Heart.
I don't want her to have to look at adultery to save my privileged living cells, so please keep it PG-13.

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Offlinem4dScientist
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Re: My descent into schizophrenia [Re: Alyssa]
    #20999155 - 12/19/14 02:32 PM (9 years, 4 months ago)

Lol. I respect your opinion, n I think you have valid points.

However, schizophrenics who often SEE and HEAR things that don't actually exist, CANNOT cure themselves by having a strong support network and getting in tune with their emotions. Not all medication is a form of government control homie

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