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CherryBom
Yoga Gypsy


Registered: 12/26/98
Posts: 11,177
Loc: Ontario
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Fucking anxiety- help me understand
#20911166 - 12/01/14 07:15 AM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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I'm so frustrated.
My little cousin works with me. I run a busy coffee shop in a college. We gross 1.6 million dollars a year. When she comes to work she is awesome, helpful, efficient, easy to get along with, great with the customers, great with the staff. She has leadership tendencies.
But once a week, maybe more, maybe less...she calls me sobbing in tears, she can't come in. There's never a trigger, she just wakes up in the morning with this tightness in her chest and she cries for 5 hours until she's exhausted, goes to sleep and wakes up semi-normal. Sometimes it happens 3 days in a row, it happens a lot more in the dark winter months.
THIS SHIT MAKES ME CRAZY. I pick her up for work in the morning around 630am. It's fucking early man. My alarm goes off at like 430 so I can be there on time, if my phone rings before 6am, I KNOW I'm in for a rough morning. It's really stressful when we are short staffed. Its a really busy little store and being one (wo)man down is rough. Especially when the person who isn't there is one the strongest, most helpful employees.
I want to help her because she's my cousin, but I don't understand how this is so debilitating for her. There's NO REASON for it. She says she likes her job, she likes the people she works with, she just wakes up in the morning and it's like a jolt of reality. The tightness fills her chest and lungs and she starts hyperventilating. It's not triggered by a thing, or a person or event.
I want to strangle her and feel terrible about it, but I just don't understand. Does she need serious help? Does she need medication? This shit affects a lot of people. It's a domino effect of anxiety and misery. She's a mess and her day is ruined, and we suffer at work, and her family suffers because they have to deal with her crying all day long.
It's right fucked up man. I don't get it.
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: Fucking anxiety- help me understand [Re: CherryBom] 1
#20911183 - 12/01/14 07:28 AM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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Anxiety is terrible, and that's coming from someone who's experienced it in many forms throughout the years
She should look into deep breathing exercises and shit, and actual exercise
Don't be too annoyed by her, the way she feels during an anxiety attack is a lot worse than the annoyance of hearing her cry about it
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,795
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 2 hours, 9 minutes
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Re: Fucking anxiety- help me understand [Re: Sheekle]
#20911198 - 12/01/14 07:33 AM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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Anxiety is a bitch. It happens for no particular reason. Then i can easily turn into a panic attack (which is hell). and then you are completely exhausted.
Don't blame her, it's not her fault and trust me when I say this. she would prefer to be at work than to live through debilitating anxiety. Its fucking horrible.
She need anti-anxiolic is she's not currenty on one. Cipralex (Lexapro) works wonders with anxiety issues.
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CherryBom
Yoga Gypsy


Registered: 12/26/98
Posts: 11,177
Loc: Ontario
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Re: Fucking anxiety- help me understand [Re: Patlal]
#20911249 - 12/01/14 07:44 AM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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But she has to take some level of responsibility for this. If she came come to work two days a week, we have a problem right?
She needs to get professional help, or medication, or make arrangements for a different, more manageable schedule at work.
She is the only one this shit is affecting. She needs to step up and deal with it, because it's not getting better, it's getting worse.
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: Fucking anxiety- help me understand [Re: CherryBom]
#20911256 - 12/01/14 07:47 AM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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Yeah she should definitely find a way to manage it, I didn't see the part where she calls out of work once a week because of it
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already



Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: Fucking anxiety- help me understand [Re: CherryBom] 1
#20911258 - 12/01/14 07:47 AM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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It's time to start pumping her full of adderall.
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Adderal? Pretty sure that'll make anxiety worse
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already



Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: Fucking anxiety- help me understand [Re: Sheekle]
#20911311 - 12/01/14 08:01 AM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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Meth is good too.
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BlackWidow

Registered: 09/25/11
Posts: 2,395
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Anyone with anxiety shoudldn't drink coffee. That may be contributing to it as well.
As someone who has severe anxiety, I'd recommend getting her some strong kava. After a few strong cups of kava it's hard to be anxious. Even when I'm in benzo withdrawal, if I dsrink enough kava I don't feel anxious.
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Buttsnot
Stranger

Registered: 10/15/14
Posts: 1,087
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Re: Fucking anxiety- help me understand [Re: CherryBom]
#20911343 - 12/01/14 08:13 AM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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I've had anxiety ever since i can remember and yes it can be that bad for people. Panic attacks do come out of nowhere usually and it does feel you're having a heart attack and you're gonna die. She sounds like she has pretty severe anxiety.
Xanax is what's usually prescribed for it but i would suggest staying away from it and finding natural remedies. Chamomile and lavender tea are great and usually calm me down pretty quick. Here's a ton of other natural methods, hope it helps  http://www.earthclinic.com/cures/anxiety.html
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SleepAid
me gusta




Registered: 03/08/06
Posts: 1,139
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
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Re: Fucking anxiety- help me understand [Re: BlackWidow]
#20911350 - 12/01/14 08:16 AM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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During a panic attack (re: tightness in chest) you can feel as if you cannot breathe, similar to an asthma attack, often accompanied by an overwhelming sensation that you are about to die.
I've seen people call their parents and say goodbye because they were convinced they were dying.
Clinical anxiety, as a disorder, isn't nearly as small of deal as most people make it out to be. I think that has a lot to do with mis-diagnosis of individuals who get it in their head 'I have anxiety' and carry that with them / tell everyone- when they really don't have the kind of symptoms that would necessitate that diagnosis.
It's not her fault- I guarantee she doesn't want to operate like this either. Benezos are often prescribed for acute panic disorders, longer term patients are usually prescribed SSRI's.
-------------------- Signature this, ho
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE



Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Re: Fucking anxiety- help me understand [Re: BlackWidow]
#20911368 - 12/01/14 08:23 AM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
BlackWidow said: Anyone with anxiety shoudldn't drink coffee. That may be contributing to it as well.
As someone who has severe anxiety, I'd recommend getting her some strong kava. After a few strong cups of kava it's hard to be anxious. Even when I'm in benzo withdrawal, if I dsrink enough kava I don't feel anxious.
What's the verdict on this shit? Because several people have told me it's mostly bullshit, but I've heard a few on here tell me it's good.
Is this the plant equivalent of a benzo?
-------------------- Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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elborito


Registered: 06/14/12
Posts: 1,136
Loc: Somewhere Obscure
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Fucking anxiety- help me understand [Re: ModestMouse]
#20911387 - 12/01/14 08:30 AM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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It works. I've only had a small dose which was relaxing. In the remote indigenous communities here alcohol is often banned and Kava is often drank as a replacement.
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already



Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: Fucking anxiety- help me understand [Re: elborito]
#20911404 - 12/01/14 08:36 AM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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Honestly for my own anxiety once I found shrooms my whole world changed. Before that all I ever needed was a puff of sweet Mary jane.
Anxiety is pretty rough stuff. It can get complicated, and as with anything whatever anyone finds most effective to treat themselves, they should use.
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sof4r0ckeRs1984



Registered: 07/30/10
Posts: 1,886
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
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Have you tried notifying the missing days in a kind of bipolar calendar? Maybe she has kind of a manic depression and can't handle herself in public when she's down. Heard it before.
bipolar manic depression has typical recurring patterns which repeat every two weeks or so. Thus the calendar thing.
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mpd
Lammen Gorthaur



Registered: 10/22/12
Posts: 9,660
Loc: Mostly at home... Mostly....
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
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Venaflaxin (Effexor) is great for anxiety. Does a great job for me.
-------------------- There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.
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FrozenHappiness
Professional Cereal Box

Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 5,330
Loc: Nagoon Lagoon
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Re: Fucking anxiety- help me understand [Re: CherryBom]
#20911553 - 12/01/14 09:24 AM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
CherryBom said: But she has to take some level of responsibility for this. If she came come to work two days a week, we have a problem right?
She needs to get professional help, or medication, or make arrangements for a different, more manageable schedule at work.
She is the only one this shit is affecting. She needs to step up and deal with it, because it's not getting better, it's getting worse.
You are absolutely correct BomDiggity. She does need to take responsibility for this. The only way she can begin correcting this problem is to step up and take ownership of it.
I'm no doctor, nor am I a nutritionist, but I think a good place to for her to start is by taking vitamin D supplements to see if that helps any. Us folks that live so far away from the equator can develop myriad mental health issues due to vitamin D deficiency.
The next logical step would be to seek out medical advice from a licensed physician; preferably one who will first try to work at correcting the cause of issue (which could include therapy and/or changes in diet and exercise) before prescribing benzos (which are great for treating the symptoms of anxiety, but do nothing to address the cause of anxiety)
Good luck CherryBom, and good to see you
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badchad
Mad Scientist

Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 13,372
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Re: Fucking anxiety- help me understand [Re: CherryBom]
#20911564 - 12/01/14 09:26 AM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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If she isn't receiving medical attention she needs to.
No way would I stand to have one of my employees miss that much work. Not to mention all the other staff members must assume family favoritism.
-------------------- ...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge. It is an indellible experience; it is forever known. I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did. Smith, P. Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27. ...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely. Osmond, H. Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436
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CherryBom
Yoga Gypsy


Registered: 12/26/98
Posts: 11,177
Loc: Ontario
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Re: Fucking anxiety- help me understand [Re: badchad]
#20911576 - 12/01/14 09:30 AM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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Right? I don't want people to think that this is ok, because it's not and I"m trying to be compassionate because we are dealing with a 'disabilty', but she's also my cousin. Fine line, right?
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mpd
Lammen Gorthaur



Registered: 10/22/12
Posts: 9,660
Loc: Mostly at home... Mostly....
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
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Re: Fucking anxiety- help me understand [Re: CherryBom]
#20911581 - 12/01/14 09:33 AM (9 years, 1 month ago) |
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There's family and then there's your vocation. If she just can't get it together you are going to have to move on if for no other reason that self-preservation.
-------------------- There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.
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