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fireworks_god
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,855
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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I am becoming...
#2077596 - 11/06/03 04:00 PM (20 years, 4 months ago) |
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I am becoming more aware. I am becoming more aware of how I feel. I am becoming more aware of the experience I am being offered right here and right now. I feel the experience more than I would use to. I am tuned in. I am more aware of how the music I am listening to fills the silence and becomes the background of my experience right now. I am aware of the signals that various parts of my body are sending my brain. Most importantly, I am more aware of how this thought and this thought in my mind really set the tone of this experience right here and now. We put this thought and this thought and this combination of feeling together and it pretty much dictates how I feel and what I experience right now. I hear stories of how people start to clue in on this kind of stuff and it overloads them. Too much experience. They get lost in it. Me? I'm loving it. Maybe it is because I haven't done all sorts of drugs continously and continously and continously. Maybe it is because I have been more sober than I would even prefer sometimes. Maybe it is because my advancement to this state of experiencing has been so gradual. Maybe this evolution has given me a turbo boost. What I do know is that I am not losing my mind. I can handle this. It doesn't bother me to really tune in on the texture of this surface and its location on this surface while I am also aware of all sorts of physical feelings coming in from my body and my senses. I can still think straight while enjoying all of this ambience, this more total experience. All I can say is that when entering new territory, it is best to take things slow. When you study a new branch of knowledge, you don't learn it all in one day. You start out with small pieces of information that connect with what you have already understood. When you learn how to play guitar, you learn small riffs and are more focused on getting this finger to go here. One doesn't start fucking blazing 225 bpm sixteenth note runs while fucking headbanging and jumping up and down and screaming as loud as you can. People lose their minds by abandoning where they are at now and jumping straight into a completely different state of mind. People get sent off to war and deal with people dying around them, constantly worrying about the constant threat to their lives. They get dumped into a situation that most of them have no experience in and really can't cope with it. Then they lose their fucking minds. Point C is going to be a hell of a lot harder to get to if you don't go to Point A and Point B first. Basically, what I am saying is that patience and determination are very important skills if we are going to keep our sanity. Life is going to throw a lot of fucking different situations at you, usually the one that you need the most to learn from. Prepare for life. [/end ramble induced by Big Mac and fries before bedtime] Peace.
-------------------- If I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear For I've never known completeness Like being here Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you
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Mixomatosis
great ape
Registered: 10/28/03
Posts: 1,306
Loc: cipherland
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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so.. you aren't going crazy?
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fireworks_god
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,855
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Quote:
Mixomatosis said: so.. you aren't going crazy?
Not by a long shot. Peace.
-------------------- If I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear For I've never known completeness Like being here Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you
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fireworks_god
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,855
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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I just thought I would add that this increased height of awareness has its downsides: mainly, when the kid decides to continously scream as loud as hell for as long as she can keep it up. Peace.
-------------------- If I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear For I've never known completeness Like being here Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you
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Scarfmeister
Thrill Seeker
Registered: 10/31/02
Posts: 8,127
Loc: The will to power
Last seen: 4 years, 8 months
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Sounds like you are on the right track.
-------------------- -------------------- We're the lowest of the low, the scum of the fucking earth!
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Mixomatosis
great ape
Registered: 10/28/03
Posts: 1,306
Loc: cipherland
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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I don't believe that you do have an "increased height of awareness"
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fireworks_god
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,855
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Quote:
Mixomatosis said: I don't believe that you do have an "increased height of awareness"
Really? Why not? I mean, it is up to you to believe what you want, but you really have no evidence either way except for what it is that I have said.
All I know is that I have been following certian collections of thoughts for a long time now. Little thoughts and insights I had once while stoned have now been conceptualized and now play a role in the way my mind works. This is called growth of ideas.
I have consistently followed the idea that the only way worth living is in the here and now. I have fought to always focus on what is happening right now, in this spot. I have learned to stop cutting myself off from the surroundings and my own thoughts that create what it is that I experience.
But is up to you to believe in that or not. If you have experienced something similar, than you know EXACTLY what it is that I am talking about, as I am sure some people around here have. If you have never even had a thought towards this direction, than I am crazy and am making shit up. All I can say is that I have better things to do than make shit up; I got a guitar over there and a bed that I am neglecting to post here.
I highly recommend the book "Handbook to Higher Consciousness" by Ken Keyes Jr., man. Peace.
-------------------- If I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear For I've never known completeness Like being here Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you
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Great Scott
Trigger Lover
Registered: 05/05/03
Posts: 19,797
Loc: Control Grid
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
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Mixomatosis... it sounds to me like you are either a skeptic, or you took the other path
--------------------
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MAIA
World-BridgerKartikeya (DftS)
Registered: 04/27/01
Posts: 7,396
Loc: Erra - 20 Tauri - M45 Sta...
Last seen: 2 months, 16 days
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Quote:
fireworks_god said:
Quote:
Mixomatosis said: so.. you aren't going crazy?
Not by a long shot. Peace.
That's what they all say I'm getting older but feeling younger, descending orbit to the initial point How about you ?
MAIA
-------------------- Spiritual being, living a human experience ... The Shroomery Mandala Use, do not abuse; neither abstinence nor excess ever renders man happy. Voltaire
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fireworks_god
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,855
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: I am becoming... [Re: MAIA]
#2079465 - 11/07/03 01:16 AM (20 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
MAIA said: That's what they all say I'm getting older but feeling younger, descending orbit to the initial point How about you ?
MAIA
Well, I'm getting older of course, but it more feels like I have been struggling to open my eyes for so long and I can now keep them open all the time. I just woke up, still like readjusting to being awake and all, bu the same thoughts that sustained me in the aware state are running now (well, of course, I pulled up this post, but I didn't read it.. )
If you remember a post I made awhile back, about how I had a collection of thoughts that I was going to keep myself consciously reminded of every minute, I believe I have finally made it so that I can keep aware of these thoughts that in turn open up this state of mind, often accessed with the mary jane.
For analogy sake, psychadelics are the window, not the door, and I have opened the first door. hehe I just can't begin to imagine what my next mushroom trip will be like... Peace.
-------------------- If I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear For I've never known completeness Like being here Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you
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kaiowas
lest we baguette
Registered: 07/14/03
Posts: 5,501
Loc: oz
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heh, I quit all drugs a while back (including ciggs) and it is been the past week that I felt different. it's been great. does it feel to you that there's a vibration level rising? like when you are in a particular mindset, there's a certain spark inside, followed by a neat rush of energy. and not really that nervous or anxious energy, but just a surrounding feeling of well being.
for instance, I don't sleep as much as I used to, like only 4-6 hours a day, compaired to 8-10. When I wake up, I feel refreshed, no, more than refreshed, um...like maybe the word closely related to my feeling is level. you know, balanced, in the groove.
-------------------- Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.
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ZenGecko
enthusiast
Registered: 11/02/03
Posts: 285
Last seen: 1 year, 22 days
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Re: I am becoming... [Re: kaiowas]
#2079835 - 11/07/03 03:40 AM (20 years, 4 months ago) |
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Read your books, do your meditation, take your drugs, but question every perception, every conclusion, and belief, and especially any enlightnment you think u may have gained. Do this until you loose all conceptions, all beliefs, all judgement values and any idea of enlightenment, and you will have walked the path as far as any man can. Sincerely, That which is, and has no choice but to be
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fireworks_god
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,855
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: I am becoming... [Re: kaiowas]
#2079888 - 11/07/03 04:13 AM (20 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
kaiowas said: heh, I quit all drugs a while back (including ciggs) and it is been the past week that I felt different. it's been great. does it feel to you that there's a vibration level rising? like when you are in a particular mindset, there's a certain spark inside, followed by a neat rush of energy. and not really that nervous or anxious energy, but just a surrounding feeling of well being.
Yeah, I usually tune into a great state of relaxation. I am at ease. Hell, last night, sometime after making that post, my eyes started picking up on those light visuals and I felt my entire body buzzing. It was almost like I was baked.
As far as sleep goes, I always end up getting at least seven/eight hours of sleep, and I always wake up fairly tired. I don't know what it is, but I'm not too happy about it. I should by all means be getting enough sleep. Strange. Peace.
-------------------- If I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear For I've never known completeness Like being here Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you
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kaiowas
lest we baguette
Registered: 07/14/03
Posts: 5,501
Loc: oz
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"Read your books, do your meditation, take your drugs, but question every perception, every conclusion, and belief, and especially any enlightnment you think u may have gained. Do this until you loose all conceptions, all beliefs, all judgement values and any idea of enlightenment, and you will have walked the path as far as any man can."
yep yep yep. thanks for the reminder. I know for sure that the path never ends. because if you think it has ended and you've went as high as you can go, you're losing your desire to go further.
-------------------- Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.
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jiva
dream serpent
Registered: 11/06/03
Posts: 141
Loc: everywhere all the time
Last seen: 18 years, 4 months
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Re: I am becoming... [Re: kaiowas]
#2080686 - 11/07/03 10:57 AM (20 years, 4 months ago) |
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^_^ Becomming more aware is a life long process. You tune in to and pick up on lots of new things, and since most of these things are incommunicable (symantically) you have to go off of the elaborate metaphores of mystics or explore it all by yourself.
Its fun, its exciting, its scary, its new, its beautiful, its transformative.
But watch out. Eventually you will become aware of things that other people will can cannot believe w/o experiencing it themselves. And that leads to a concensus that you are crazy. Don't preach, lead by example. Try to get other people to feel it themselves and then no one would even dare rebuke it ^_~.
-------------------- i am another you
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Mixomatosis
great ape
Registered: 10/28/03
Posts: 1,306
Loc: cipherland
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Re: I am becoming... [Re: jiva]
#2080806 - 11/07/03 11:38 AM (20 years, 4 months ago) |
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Mixomatosis... it sounds to me like you are either a skeptic, or you took the other path
What are you? A wizard?
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sirreal
devoid
Registered: 01/11/03
Posts: 1,775
Loc: In the borderlands
Last seen: 16 years, 10 months
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Quote:
As far as sleep goes, I always end up getting at least seven/eight hours of sleep, and I always wake up fairly tired. I don't know what it is, but I'm not too happy about it. I should by all means be getting enough sleep. Strange. Peace.
This may seem like a strange question fireworks, but do you smoke cigerettes?
-------------------- I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest ----------- I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!
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Sole_Worthy
Stranger
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 463
Loc: over here
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Oi Rabbit Killa!
what do you think he meant by "increased height of awareness"?
-------------------- get it all together get like birds of a feather
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soylent_green
The greatEnitsuj
Registered: 12/11/02
Posts: 765
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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i'm starting to understand awarness more and more these days myself.. it just feels natural
-------------------- What fun is it in Nirvana while other beings are suffering?
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trendal
J♠
Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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I awoke into this reality almost 23 years ago. I feel like I have become more awake each day. Today I am more awake than ever before. I have every reason to believe that tomorrow when I wake up, it will be wider awake than I am now.
I think there is a trio of intelligence, awareness, and insanity which all come from the same principle. As my intelligence grows, so does my potential for awareness and insanity. I feel more awake today, but the edge beside me seems much more defined as well.
What may be the biggest lesson I have learned so far on my journey:
The journey is never over.
Keep those eyes open
--------------------
Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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