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Load Universeinto Cannon. Aimat Brain. Fire.
Registered: 12/13/02
Posts: 2,321
My first real poem ever.
    #2070970 - 11/04/03 09:40 PM (14 years, 3 months ago)

I've never written anything for my own pleasure, only assignments for school. That's my excuse if this sucks :smirk:. But any constructive criticism is welcome, since I think writing may become a new hobby. I'll post a picture tomorrow of what made me think of writing this. It's too dark outside now.


A gentle breeze tickles the back of my neck,
And I smile.
I hear your acorns falling onto the brick sidewalk,
And I smile.
I carefully follow your leaves as they fall to the ground,
And I smile.
I am watching you slowly wither away,
Yet I smile.

You are so elegantly solemn.
I'll meet you again next year. 

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e l e m e n t al i t y
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/14/02
Posts: 3,323
Loc: The Desert
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
Re: My first real poem ever. [Re: Letto]
    #2071148 - 11/04/03 10:22 PM (14 years, 3 months ago)

really cool, puts me in the season quite well.

Blas'?trid (bl?s tr?d)
    n.  3rd generation derivitave of a combination of 'bastard' and 'blasted'.  Used as both an insult or an expletive.
    ex.  Blastrid!

Stereopattern  <--My music.

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Octi Doci

Registered: 02/03/03
Posts: 1,598
Re: My first real poem ever. [Re: Letto]
    #2071288 - 11/04/03 10:58 PM (14 years, 3 months ago)

It's not the most thought provoking poem but it did put a chill through my spine. :cool: 

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General Interest >> Music, Art, and Media

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