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Offlinecanid
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possibly the worst thing i've ever writen
    #2048737 - 10/27/03 11:09 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

joust thought i'd post this:

Walking in this bleak landscape lightened my heart through some tangled ministry of chance.
The thorned brush surrounding on all sides like a net meant for hare, it was liberation.
The sun beat down by mid-day and was obscured by a heavy mist in the evening and gave way
to dusk in the most deranged manner imaginable, as though rising, it held the heavens in
rapture, lightening the sky brighter than before. It sent the day off in celebration into
a barren and uncaring night. The nocturnal creatures here made such noisome racket as they
prowled or sought their food, that they conjured pictures of a feast of torture, and they
left me most in awe. The images played upon my skull in a way that still i can't reconcile.
They made me see the way things are, as nature once intended them to be. I saw the dawn rise
and light come into the world anew and the creatures, so menacing in their frenzied splendor
now took flight until the dusk could come again. The flora came to light in the morning's
solemn breaking, staring at me now with flowers bright and emerald green, to fill my view
of what was once such joyful sadness with a less frustrating gladness and a futile sense of
desperate belying charm. How can i leave this place now, now that I have seen such beauty?
Could I take absence from a home that raised me just today? I must stay, and be forlorn
and joyous both, in this revealing space. I will stay, and here make myself a perfect home.


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Offlinecanid
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Re: possibly the worst thing i've ever writen [Re: canid]
    #2054688 - 10/29/03 09:35 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

not even some harsh criticism?
no nothing?


--------------------



Attn PWN hunters: If you should come across a bluing Psilocybe matching P. pellicolusa please smell it.
If you detect a scent reminiscent of Anethole (anise) please preserve a specimen or two for study and please PM me.


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InvisibleMazzyStar
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Registered: 10/12/03
Posts: 1,426
Re: possibly the worst thing i've ever writen [Re: canid]
    #2054815 - 10/29/03 10:03 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Hey, it's not so bad.


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OfflineBlastrid
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Re: possibly the worst thing i've ever writen [Re: canid]
    #2054818 - 10/29/03 10:04 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

god dammit dude you're fuckin right, that is the worst thing I've even ever READ.


hehe no for real, it's very descriptive. it doesn't really tell a story, but more like just paints a still picture.

I like it. If it's the worst thing you've ever written, you write pretty well.


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Blas'?trid (bl?s tr?d)
    n.  3rd generation derivitave of a combination of 'bastard' and 'blasted'.  Used as both an insult or an expletive.
    ex.  Blastrid!

Stereopattern  <--My music.


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InvisibleZero7a1
Leaving YourWasteland

Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
Loc: Passing Cloud
Re: possibly the worst thing i've ever writen [Re: canid]
    #2055703 - 10/30/03 02:05 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

why did you write that? Serioussslyyy though doooood.... Whhyyyy? :smile:


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What?


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Offlinecanid
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Re: possibly the worst thing i've ever writen [Re: Zero7a1]
    #2055796 - 10/30/03 02:47 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

because it came out.
there is no other reason to write trash imo :laugh:


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Attn PWN hunters: If you should come across a bluing Psilocybe matching P. pellicolusa please smell it.
If you detect a scent reminiscent of Anethole (anise) please preserve a specimen or two for study and please PM me.


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Offlinemr_kite
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Re: possibly the worst thing i've ever writen [Re: canid]
    #2056540 - 10/30/03 09:58 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I don't know, some of the words sound quite nice but when you read it, it means SWEET FUCK ALL and ends up sounding well pretentious and pointeless, really. It's easy to write shit that sounds impresive but when you look at it it's actually bollcoks. See also: 90% of literature in general.

So, without wanting to be harsh, I'd agree :smile: Not that I could do any better.


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let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love


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Offlinecanid
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Re: possibly the worst thing i've ever writen [Re: mr_kite]
    #2056554 - 10/30/03 10:09 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

first; the imagery [though not the procession of it] has signifgance, but only for me, as it relates, in an unclear way, to my own experiences/thoughts.

second; yes, it was rather pointles, except for it's use to keep my writing freely, wich it served to some degree.

this is not to say that i disagree with your point, but that i know these things already.


--------------------



Attn PWN hunters: If you should come across a bluing Psilocybe matching P. pellicolusa please smell it.
If you detect a scent reminiscent of Anethole (anise) please preserve a specimen or two for study and please PM me.


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Offlinemr_kite
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Re: possibly the worst thing i've ever writen [Re: canid]
    #2060922 - 10/31/03 04:43 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Aye.. one thing it does have is atmosphere. The ambiguity created by the occasionally slightly muddled sentence structures, and also not knowing what the significance of certain images, is cool. In some ways it would be interesting to know what inspired the images, as the reader might gain greater understanding as to what you mean, but in other ways it's nicer to be left in the dark. Makes it more interesting.

I liked it more this time when I read it than the first time  :laugh: And if that's the worst you've written, I'd like to see the best ones!


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let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love


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