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Offlinebigfatdork
Now I Have Teeth

Registered: 10/19/03
Posts: 1,310
Loc: North PoLL
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
Lysergic Acid
    #2022216 - 10/19/03 09:06 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Lysergic Acid

It is a multiple million eyed monster
it is hidden in all its elephants and selves
it hummeth in the electric typewriter
it is electricity connected to itself, if it hath wires
it is a vast Spiderweb
and I am on the last millionth infinite tentacle of the spiderweb, a
worrier
lost, separated, a worm, a thought, a self
one of the millions of skeletons of China
one of the particular mistakes
I allen Ginsberg a separate consciousness
I who want to be God
I who want to hear the infinite minutest vibration of eternal harmony
I who wait trembling my destruction by that aethereal music in the fire
I who hat God and give him a name
I who make mistakes on the eternal typewriter
I who am doomed

But at the far end of the universe the million eyed Spyder that hath no
name
spinneth of itself endlessly
the monster that is no monster approaches with apples, perfume,
railroads,
Televisions, skulls
a universe that eats and drinks itself
blood from my skull
Tibetan creature with hairy breast and Zodiac on my stomach
this sacrificial victim unable to have a good time

My face in the mirror, thin hair, blood congested in streaks down beneath
My eyes, cocksucker, a decay, a talking lust
a snaeap, a snarl, a tic of consciousness in infinity
a creep in the eyes of all Universes
trying to escape my Being, unable to pass on to the Eye
I vomit, I am in a trance, my body is seized in convulsion, my stomach
crawls, water from my mouth, I am here in Inferno
dry bones of myriad lifeless mummies naked on the web, the Ghosts, I am
A Ghost
I cry out where I am in the music, to the room, to whomever near, you,
Are
You God?
No, do you want me to be God?
Is there no answer?
Must there always be an Answer? you reply,
and were it up to me to say Yes or No -
Thank God I am not God! Thank God I am not God!
But that I long for a Yes of Harmony to penetrate
to every corner of the universe, under every condition whatsoever
a Yes there is... a Yes I am...a Yes You are... a We

A We
and that must be an It, and a They, and a Thing with No Answer
It creepeth, it waiteth, it is still, it is begun, it is the Horns of
Battle it is
Multiple Sclerosis
it is not my hope
it is not my death at Eternity
it is not my word, not poetry
beware my Word

It is a Ghost Trap, woven by priest in Sikkim or Tibet
a crossframe on which a thousand threads of different color
are strung, a spiritual tennis racket
in which when I look I see aethereal lightwaves radiate
bright energy passing round on the threads as for billions of years
the thread-bands magically changing hues one transformed to another as if
the
Ghost Trap
were an image of the Universe in miniature
conscious sentient part of the interrelated machine
making waves outward in Time to the Beholder
displaying its own image in miniature once for all
repeated minutely downward with endless variations throughout all of
itself
it being all the same in every part

This image or energy which reproduces itself at the depths of space from
the
very Beginning
in what might be an O or an Aum
and trailing variations made of the same Word circles round itself in the
same
pattern as its original Appearence
creating a larger Image of itself throughout the depths of Time
outward circling thru bands of faroff Nebulae & vast Astrologies
contained, to be true to itself, in a Mandala painted on an Elephant's
hide,
or in a photograph of a painting on the side of an imaginary Elephant
which
smiles, tho how the Elephant looks is an irrelevent joke -
it might be a Sign held by a Flaming Demon, or Ogre of Transcience,
or in a photograph of my own belly in the void
or in my eye
or in the eye of the monk who made the Sign
or in its own Eye that stares on Itself at least and dies

and tho an eye can die
and tho my eye can die
the billion-eyed monster, the Nameless, the Answerless, the Hidden-From
me, the endless Being
one creature that gives birth to itself
thrills in its minutest particular, sees out of all eyes differently at
once
One and not One moves on its own ways
I cannot follow

And I have made an image of the monster here
and I will make another
it feels like Cryptozoids
it creeps an undulates beneath the sea
it is coming to take over the city
it invades beneath every Consciousness
it is delicate as the Universe
it makes me vomit
becaude I am afraid I will miss its appearance
it appears anyway
it appears anyway in the mirror
it washes out of the mirror like the sea
it is myriad undulations
it washes out of the mirror and drowns the behodler
it drowns the world when it drowns the world
it drowns itself
it floats outward like a corpse filled with music
the noise of war in its head
a babe laugh in its belly
a scream og agony in the dark sea
a smile on the lips of a blind statue
it was there
it was not mine
I wanted to use it for myself
to be heroic
but it is not for sale to this consciousness
it goes its own way forever
it will complete all creatures
it will be the radio of the future
it will hear itself in time
it wants a rest
it is tired of hearing and seeing itself
it wants another form another victim
it wants me
it gives me good reason
it gives me reason to exist
it gives me endless answers
a consciousness to be separate and a consciousness to see
I am beckoned to be One or the other, to say I am both and be neither
it can take care of itself without me
it is Both Answerless ( it answers not to that name )
it hummeth on the elecric typewriter
it types a fragmentary word which is
a fragmentary word,


--------------------
"But it was alright, he had won the battle against himself, He Loved Big Brother"


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