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Offlinemorrowasted
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Registered: 10/30/09
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #19008648 - 10/21/13 01:49 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

JacksonMetaller said:
Mind if I ask how you all developed DP? The whole concept of it is pretty lost on me. I mean, I know the basics, but trying to imagine it or how you obtain it is hard



.


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 12,791
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #19464099 - 01/23/14 06:44 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Hey i hate to bump a old(ish) thread but i still have this fucking disorder. I want to shoot myself but thats the worst part. Its the feeling of LIVING that i miss so much. There is no escape to this hell. My biggest fear is that i will die having lived my life with this disorder. Fuck, this makes me want to just say fuck it and get high as i can on heroin or roxies every second of everyday. But even that wouldnt help, because getting high would just put me futher away from what i want. Normal, lucid sober reality.

I dont know what ill gain by posting it here. Its not going to go away. The worst part is the feeling of helplessness and being doomed. To see that no doctor can help me (or even understand whats wrong) and no medications will make it go away is horrible.

Im certain im becoming horrilby depressed because i just want to sleep all day. People say i look "dead" in the eyes.


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Offlineteamkiller
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #19464121 - 01/23/14 06:49 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

did you quit smoking weed?


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 12,791
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: teamkiller]
    #19464129 - 01/23/14 06:51 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

teamkiller said:
did you quit smoking weed?



Yes, i havent touched it in like 2 months


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Offlineteamkiller
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #19464138 - 01/23/14 06:53 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

give it awhile longer.  does it come and go, or is it a steady flat constant?


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Offlinexbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: teamkiller]
    #19464145 - 01/23/14 06:55 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

teamkiller said:
give it awhile longer.  does it come and go, or is it a steady flat constant?



Its always there slightly. I never feel 100 percent normal. It gets super intense every now and again (like once or twice a day) but i think thats panic attacks. But i do always feel disconnected.


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OfflineRavageTheEarth
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Registered: 12/28/13
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #19464167 - 01/23/14 06:59 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Things will get better. Your mind has to adjust to not being on drugs because it seems like it's been a long time since you've been clean. Also, it sounds like you have some pre-existing mental problems that you might want to see a therapist about and there is no shame in that. I see a therapist. I never had any mental problems, but I still see one so I can talk about some issues that I have. Also, attend some AA meetings. They aren't just for alcoholics. I went there being a druggie and found it to be better than NA. You will find a lot of support there.

Keep us updated on your condition. We are all here to help you get through this tough time in your life buddy. Just remember that each step further away from drugs is a step further to sanity.


--------------------
Crazy... toys in the attic I am craaaazy


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OfflineJacksonMetaller
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: RavageTheEarth]
    #19464413 - 01/23/14 07:45 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

A certain degree is going to be due to the fact of you telling yourself you feel disconnected. I had this issue a little bit for a while. I would stare at an object and for some reason i felt like i could never truly focus on it. Like everything was just slightly out of reach. I thought it was from psyches, then i thought it was from smoking too much weed. But i realized it really didn't matter what i did in my routine, there were days where i would obsess on it and feel extremely distant, then there were days i would get distracted by something else and forget all about it and feel totally alive.

I'm willing to bet you don't even remember what it feels like to be "normal". If that's the case it's a clear sign you're over thinking it. The sooner you can just accept your current condition, the sooner you're going to forget it's a condition in the first place. But obsessing on it is what's creating it in the first place.


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InvisibleNWlight
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Registered: 01/12/10
Posts: 18,686
Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #19465560 - 01/24/14 12:01 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

i want to kill myself too bro, welcome to the club


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:wizard::deemsters:


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Offline28064212
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: xbloodwhipx]
    #19466845 - 01/24/14 10:08 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

xbloodwhipx said:
Quote:

teamkiller said:
did you quit smoking weed?



Yes, i havent touched it in like 2 months





No wonder you look dead in the eyes. :rimshot2:


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Offlineberdinwall
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Registered: 06/10/12
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 28064212]
    #19466891 - 01/24/14 10:19 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I agree with JacksonMetaller

I too have that feeling often. Even right now. Everythings intense to a certain degree and I feel disconnected. Like 4 or 5 years ago I'd be able to enjoy a beautiful day outside like today. But now it's like I can't see past my own nose and can't enjoy it. I'm still recovering from a benzo addiction though so I'm hoping a few more months and I'm back to normal...at this point I can't wait in line at a store without feeling slightly panicky...all I think about driving down the road is getting stopped by cops because I know my intense energy will make him think I'm on drugs and it'll be a big panic attack mess. I can't have a close proximity face to face onversation with someone. I'm a mess but I think slowly I'll be able to do all of these things again without overthinking them. Because I have my moments that I do, do them without overthinking them.

Anyway yeah I agree with JacksonMetaller that -thinking about it- is a HUGE part of the struggle. and the struggle is REAL. lol I just wanted to say that last sentence....but yeah man just try to keep busy at stuff I guess. This WON'T last forever, I promise you. I can almost assure you it's a kind of response from staying high all the time, and eventually your brain will regulate itself with the chemicals it used to have balanced.

Don't take it too seriously man, just live. Remember: you can dance if you want to


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Registered: 02/20/12
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: 28064212]
    #19466894 - 01/24/14 10:19 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I don't know you but I've seen you around. You seem very intelligent and have offered some good advice to others in the past. The one thing I know that truly does help with depressed feelings is reaching out to help someone else. Volunteering your time has immense benefits. Maybe check with local hospitals or church even to point you in the right direction....maybe even try the internet.

Anyway, good luck to you....


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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Offlinefoodofthegods44
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Re: Is depersonalizing forever [Re: NWlight]
    #20168897 - 06/22/14 03:41 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

I had dp about 2.5 years ago and it lasted about a year. My suggestion for anyone who is feeling the symptoms would be to jump on a plane to Dominica or another small Caribbean island and rent a house. Have an adventure, live there for a couple of months. Rent and food are both really, really cheap there and there is a lot to explore and see. It would keep you on you adventurer toes and also be a stress free environment. Go with a friend or relative who you have a strong relationship with. Easier said than done, I know. Who in this day and age can afford to vacation for a month or more.

I also recommend everything stated above; diet, exercise, meditation, hobbies, brain stimulation (books/online lectures.

Only once I stopped panicking about if "it was forever" did I start to recover. Worrying about how long it will last will only add to your anxiety. You need to keep yourself stimulated and in a state of constant self application. I highly recommend the trip idea. Do it with the intention of creating an experience which will last you a life time and you won't help but be able to reconnect with your self and connect yourself with your environment/ surroundings/ people which you interact with.


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Nothing said by this profile(me) is true.


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Offlinefoodofthegods44
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Re: Is depersonalizing forever [Re: foodofthegods44]
    #20168906 - 06/22/14 03:44 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Also, I am curious if anyone has mushroom induced DP? Mine was weed induced.


--------------------

Nothing said by this profile(me) is true.


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InvisibleNWlight
Just look

Registered: 01/12/10
Posts: 18,686
Re: Is depersonalizing forever [Re: foodofthegods44]
    #20168908 - 06/22/14 03:44 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

foodofthegods44 said:
mushroom induced DP



:lolsy:

gay

sorry


--------------------
:wizard::deemsters:


Edited by NWlight (06/22/14 07:02 PM)


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InvisiblePeace of Mind 1
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #20169161 - 06/22/14 04:58 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

JacksonMetaller said:
A certain degree is going to be due to the fact of you telling yourself you feel disconnected. I had this issue a little bit for a while. I would stare at an object and for some reason i felt like i could never truly focus on it. Like everything was just slightly out of reach. I thought it was from psyches, then i thought it was from smoking too much weed. But i realized it really didn't matter what i did in my routine, there were days where i would obsess on it and feel extremely distant, then there were days i would get distracted by something else and forget all about it and feel totally alive.

I'm willing to bet you don't even remember what it feels like to be "normal". If that's the case it's a clear sign you're over thinking it. The sooner you can just accept your current condition, the sooner you're going to forget it's a condition in the first place. But obsessing on it is what's creating it in the first place.



Hell yeah man.

I have spent so much time trying to find "where I went wrong". I reflect so much on my past, and I was such a different person then. I mean, night and day. I try to find all these reasons for why I am the way I am now, and yeah drugs had something to do with it, no question. However, so did time, time changes people. It is what it is. If I have to live this way then it is what it is, I've learned to accept it to some degree. I mean, I still miss the simpler times I had before my drug use, but at the same time, I am where I am now and I experienced a lot more than most "normal" people do. Granted, I'd still like to patch a lot of things up in my life, I have a lot of work to do. In fact, I have an infinite amount of work if I ever plan on being completely happy with where I put myself in life. I can definitely cope with it though, I can work with it, and someday remember all this madness as a chapter in my life. :thumbup:


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InvisibleLegend
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Re: Is depersonalizing forever [Re: foodofthegods44]
    #20169202 - 06/22/14 05:10 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

foodofthegods44 said:
Also, I am curious if anyone has mushroom induced DP? Mine was weed induced.



no mushrooms take it all away for me

weed makes it worse sometimes


--------------------
No sympathy for the devil, keep that in mind.
[url=
]Buy the ticket, take the ride. [/url]
Are you lost?


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Offlinefoodofthegods44
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Re: Is depersonalizing forever [Re: Legend]
    #20170103 - 06/22/14 07:25 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Legend said:
Quote:

foodofthegods44 said:
Also, I am curious if anyone has mushroom induced DP? Mine was weed induced.



no mushrooms take it all away for me

weed makes it worse sometimes




I am hoping to try shrooms for the first time soon, but the last thing I want is to
Trigger another onset of dp. Do you think i'm safe?

I had smoked weed maybe 10 times prior to the instance which triggered my dp( smoking for a few days in a row at higher than normal doses). I couldn't believe that it opened up dp for a year. I remember being horrified by the thought of pot and smoking it. But recently I've smoked a few times in combo with drinking and I've been fine.

I guess my question is... Doing shrooms... am I risking a second onset? Maybe I am just very sensitive to pot... Or maybe it was the poor physical shape I was in ( skinny, junk food eating, cigarette smoking, cocacola drinking) and the pot was just a catalyst?

Also, I am very interested in comparing physical attributes with others who feel that they are/were prone to dp.


--------------------

Nothing said by this profile(me) is true.


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OfflineBitter Cactus
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Re: Is depersonalizing forever [Re: foodofthegods44]
    #20170293 - 06/22/14 07:58 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

Since I quit weed I am happy to say that most of my HPPD is gone.

Psychedelics induce it, but weed makes it so much worse. It is only beginning to lessen maybe four months after the cessation of smoking weed.

Weed would also give me exploding head syndrome and I believe it induced tinnitus. Exploding head syndrome is basically, on the edge of sleep, you hear the loudest BOOM out of nowhere. It has only ever happened when I went to sleep baked. I actually fear going to sleep high on weed for this very reason, so now I have decided to never smoke weed again.

DP can easily be cured with a high dose of stimulants. Like being ten steps ahead of each action, rather then a few behind.


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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Offlinefoodofthegods44
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Re: Is depersonalization forever [Re: Bitter Cactus]
    #20170407 - 06/22/14 08:21 PM (9 years, 7 months ago)

The only reason I stumbled across this site was because I read "foodofthegods" by Terence McKenna. I am damn near close to finishing graham hancock's "supernatural". Between these two books I have convinced myself that a little bit of experimenting with modest doses of psilocybin and possibly Dmt could have a positive effect on my life. But I don't want to cause myself anymore struggle with DP. That experience was scary as fuck and I don't think anything is worth that risk. I'm looking to open my consciousness a little bit more but I'm not willing to lose track of reality. There goes my dreams of transcendental meditation :frown:


Edited by foodofthegods44 (06/22/14 08:44 PM)


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