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This is a well written article I just found. It is not only funny but makes great points too.
Dr. Bush?s Botched Surgery Treating a Tumor with a Pitchfork By Jesse - Editor, TvNewsLies.org - 04-October-2003
Physician?s Log: The Date: September 12, 2001 The Patient: Iraq. The Problem: Patient afflicted with a chronic condition known as ?Saddam.? The Diagnosis: Saddam is a long term malignancy. At present, this tumor is in remission. While it continues to present a variety of problems for cells within the patient?s body, the tumor?s current state can best be described as ?contained.? This tumor has no immediate ability to grow or increase in severity.
The Current Treatment: An incessant application of sanctions and constant international scrutiny has proven to be effective treatment, although not a cure.
The Doctor?s Notes: Strangely, while this tumor has caused the death of a great many cells, other cells have thrived since its initial appearance. In many respects, the patient?s overall health benefited from the very tumor that also caused its ill health. The tumor has had a great impact at increasing the industrialization of the patient; providing free education to the patient; providing free health care to the patient, and keeping the patient?s cells from attacking one another. The main problem is that the tumor?s radically violent actions cause the needless suffering and death of many healthy cells. These actions must continue to be scrutinized and controlled.
For several years, the international medical community has been aware that a great deal of harm has come to many of the patient?s cells and organs. Approximately a decade ago, this tumor completely eradicated thousands of cells that were suspected of posing a threat to the tumor itself. While thought to be a radical ?pre-emptive? approach towards maintaining the patient?s health, this behavior was brutal and inhumane. It must not be allowed to be repeated.
The Dilemma: The international medical community is not in complete agreement about the viability of the Saddam tumor. There is some concern because American and British practitioners have announced that the tumor may become actively malignant within a very short time. Most of the international community is willing to provide ?round the clock medical teams to examine the tumor and determine its potential threat to the patient.
The Reckless Plan: American surgeon George W. Bush, and his team of PNAC (Project for a New American Century) doctors, have announced a new treatment to deal with the Saddam tumor. Without consulting others in the medical community, this team decided that the general state of world health was so low that nobody would object to their plan: THEY HAVE DECIDED TO RADICALLY REMOVE THE TUMOR.
The Bush/PNAC team had long been distressed by the Saddam tumor, and now has scrambled to promote its removal. A serious problem in their plans exists because the PNAC team is comprised of charlatans with no medical credentials and with woefully little experience with tumors. Their plan to excise the Saddam tumor allows for no time to explore any of the many other treatment options available. This is to be a quick, aggressive, surgical operation. The Saddam tumor will be removed and the surgical team will be hailed by the patient as its lifesaver and liberator. There are to be no questions, no consultations, - only immediate removal.
The Quandary: The PNAC team is well schooled in areas such as amputations and radical radiation treatment. But they know NOTHING about staffing an operating room. They know NOTHING about pre or post operative care. They refuse to consult with other available medical experts. The Bush/PNAC team claims that they alone know how to treat the patient?s tumor. And they are willing to operate without help from anyone.
The Alarm: Warnings echoed from around the world. Concerned medical practitioners, patients, and healthy people from everywhere on the planet?s stood up and screamed ?STOP!? as loudly as they could. Many Americans joined loudly in the protests because they knew enough about basic health care to realize that Bush/PNAC was about to seriously maim the patient on the pretext of removing its tumor.
The American media largely ignored these outcries. Instead,they altered their broadcast schedules by continually reminding the public of their terrorist wounds, and immediately airing the benefits of radical tumor treatments. This was a very contrived, very confusing and misleading campaign. While there were no links between the topics, the media consistently suggested a connection between terror wounds and radical tumor removal. They presented the case for the decision of the Bush/PNAC surgical team, and rallied the nation to patriotic fervor.
The Manipulation: Not surprisingly, the powerful Bush/PNAC team prevailed. The American public and the Congress were still suffering from the painful emotional scars of the earlier, yet completely unrelated, injuries of September 11, 2001. In their grief, they were deluded into believing that a similar tragedy could be avoided if the Bush/PNAC team immediately moved to remove the Saddam tumor.
Alternative treatments were not evaluated by the American public. Other options were not explained or suggested, nor were they discussed by the American news media. The lawmakers focused on the wrong chapters of the Physicians Desk Reference. They researched terrorist attack wounds as opposed to tumor treatments while making their decisions. No one in charge of American hospital protocols enforced the standard procedures required during medical emergencies. Operation Iraqi Freedom was launched amid warnings that the Saddam tumor was a dire threat to Americans.
The Operation: The Bush/PNAC team determined that the best way to remove the Saddam tumor is to take a pitchfork and violently pierce the heart of the patient.
The surgical team boldly heaved a pitchfork into the place they believed the tumor was located. The Bush/PNAC team did not bother with such trivialities as anesthesia or excessive bleeding problems. They did not for a moment consider whether the patient could survive their belligerent procedure. But even more important, the Bush/PNAC team did not consider the possibility that their approach might backfire and cause the cancer cells to spread! They did not plan for the possibility that the tumor that had been in remission might be activated when stabbed and smashed with their pitchfork There was no preparation for any massive post operative infection that could set in as the result of such irresponsible, extreme ?treatment.? In fact, there was no planning at all.
The Bush/PNAC Saddam tumor procedure was so unconventional and so risky that global medical insurance companies refused to cover the costs or provide any assistance to this unstoppable surgical crew. Those with greater experience and vision understood the dangers of this radical treatment, and were not willing to gamble on the nearly impossible odds that the patient would be in better health after this drastic surgery. However, a British team agreed to assist during the operation, along with a handful of unskilled and unprepared attendants.
The surgery ended rather quickly, with relatively few obstacles. The tumor strangely disappeared. The patient, however, remains seriously in danger of succumbing to its newly inflicted wounds. Pitchforks leave multiple puncture wounds.
The Post Surgical Report: any predicted, now seems to be in drastically worse condition as a result of the Bush/PNAC surgery.It is this doctor?s opinion that the patient is suffering from a plethora of post operative infections, and from the spread of a malignancy that was previously contained. In addition, the patient?s neighbors and the world community at large are now at risk of being infected and seriously weakened as well. The disappearance of the original Saddam tumor remains a medical mystery. However, as a result of the operation, it is feared that the immune system of the entire region has been dangerously compromised. It is feared that the negative effects of these infections will be far reaching and long lasting.
The Doctor?s Summation: This doctor finds it offensive and outrageous when it hears other doctors pandering to a segment of the population that is unqualified to assess the health of the patient. The Bush/PNAC team continues to defend its approach to treating a patient with a tumor in remission. It is patently incorrect, both medically and ethically to pronounce the surgery a success or to suggest that ?? we are all better off without the Saddam tumor within the patient.?
This is a totally inaccurate and ill conceived assessment. The patient and the entire world might have been considerably better off if there had been a safer, more effective treatment to eliminate the potential danger of the Saddam tumor. The patient and the entire world might have greatly benefited if there had been adequate preparation for both pre and post operative care. BUT THIS WAS NOT DONE!
The Bush/PNAC team chose to remove a tumor from a fairly stable patient. They opted to use a pitchfork, not a scalpel. Their ?shock and awe? stabbing motions caused massive bleeding, extensive structural damage to the body and resulted in an uncontrollable array of post operative infections that are rapidly spreading in the region and the world. The tumor was not removed. It disappeared. And far more cells are dying on a daily basis within the patient today than before the surgery.
The surgeons of the Bush/PNAC team, along with all those who assisted in their actions, have the patient?s blood on their hands and are responsible for Iraq?s continued pain and vulnerability. They also bear the full responsibility for spreading greater infection to the rest of the region and the world.
The Prognosis: We are NOT better off in any way shape or form now that the tumor Saddam has been removed from the patient Iraq. As a result of the radical treatment it received, the patient is in critical condition and becoming worse. Infection is spreading and our global immune system has been weakened to a critical level.
Unless we dismiss the Bush/PNAC team, and make it impossible for them to repeat their actions in other surgeries, we face an epidemic of untold proportions. The country must wake up and understand the consequences of this tragedy. We must acknowledge that in this terrible case history, the cure was exponentially worse than the disease.
-------------------- "In the United States anybody can be president. Thats the problem."
"The gray-haired douche bag, Barbara Bush, has a slogan: "Encourage your child to read every day." What she should be is encouraging children to question what they read every day."
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