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Invisiblememes
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Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
The Asshole Dilemma: i'm out of...
    #19876851 - 04/21/14 05:42 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

So, just took my morning shit only to realize that my TP roll was gone.



...and i was out of more TP rolls...
...and i was out of paper towels...
...and i was out of napkins...
...

...


...



...




...





...so this morning was the first time i've ever whiped my ass with coffee filters...

:feelsbadman: ouch.

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InvisibleAsante
Omnicyclion prophet
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 87,643
Re: The Asshole Dilemma: i'm out of... [Re: memes]
    #19876857 - 04/21/14 05:45 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)



I would have done it with my left hand and washed it.  You may be shocked but billions of people do it that way, literally. I never have but home alone its a good time to experience it.

Never give someone from India something with your left hand, for that reason.


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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here

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OfflineGeomycostic
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Registered: 02/09/14
Posts: 25
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Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
Re: The Asshole Dilemma: i'm out of... [Re: Asante]
    #19876861 - 04/21/14 05:49 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Asante said:




:waaaaaaargh:

Go take a shower prolly be the cleanest wipe u ever had hehe


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“The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries of its existence.”

~ Nikola Tesla


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Invisiblememes
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Posts: 27,785
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Re: The Asshole Dilemma: i'm out of... [Re: Geomycostic]
    #19876867 - 04/21/14 05:54 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I've thought of using the hand, but just seems off to me.  (obviously) i'd rather use a rough coffee filter (with spit! - still bad)





as far as the shower goes:  that's my usual go-to for morning shits and/or really dirty shits.  but i had to run pants out to the dry cleaners first thing so they could get 'em back tomorrow night -- which meant no time to shower :frown:

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Offlineshivas.wisdom
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Re: The Asshole Dilemma: i'm out of... [Re: Asante]
    #19876868 - 04/21/14 05:55 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Asante said:
I would have done it with my left hand and washed it.  You may be shocked but billions of people do it that way, literally. I never have but home alone its a good time to experience it.




believe it or not, this method results in a much cleaner butthole afterwards--you're actually cleaning with water, not just smearing shit up and down yer crack


should be considered a life skill


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InvisibleNewfoundFreedom
Manure whore


Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 1,915
Re: The Asshole Dilemma: i'm out of... [Re: memes]
    #19876875 - 04/21/14 06:01 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I installed one of these next to my toilet to use as a bidet.


I only use TP to dry off.

Spray with your dominant hand and clean your b-hole with your non-dominant hand. Wash hands afterwards like you would normally.


Using toilet paper is not only wasteful but it's not very clean. If you fell face first into a pile of shit you wouldn't just wipe it off with some paper, would you?

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InvisibleAsante
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Re: The Asshole Dilemma: i'm out of... [Re: shivas.wisdom] * 1
    #19876876 - 04/21/14 06:01 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I'm not knocking it.  One time I was stoned and I received to surprise a box of adult diaper test samples.  I was stoned and didnt knock it. I put one on and had a pee. It was amazing it took it all, dry, no leaking. Optimistic I decided to take a shit.  Nope, that wasnt as rosy.  I decided to sit down.  I must admit I felt better.  I cleaned up and took a shower.

They're great if you cant hold your water but if you are anally incontinent they suck as much as you'd imagine.

Lets pray we never have to rely on those.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here

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Invisiblerulesq
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Re: The Asshole Dilemma: i'm out of... [Re: shivas.wisdom]
    #19876879 - 04/21/14 06:03 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I dont really even use TP anymore, showering afterwards is just... idk. Like A LOT better :lol:

Of course there are situations(such as OP's) when showering afterwards just isn't an option, and I can live with that no problem. But honestly, I feel so fucking dirty until I get to take a shower.

Also, I have a hairy asscrack and no one likes dingleberries, soo.. water ftw :yesnod:


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Edited by rulesq (04/21/14 06:05 AM)

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InvisibleAsante
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Re: The Asshole Dilemma: i'm out of... [Re: rulesq] * 1
    #19876883 - 04/21/14 06:08 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Soon you'll be shitting in the shower and stomping the logs into the drain. Then that becomes normal.  Then you get a girlfriend, you shower together and she'll alert you that her idea of a romantic shower and yours are a bit at odds. Then you marry and she goes See If I Care and does it too, then you grow old together and do it for each other.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here

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Invisiblerulesq
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Re: The Asshole Dilemma: i'm out of... [Re: Asante]
    #19876886 - 04/21/14 06:11 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

:lol:

Yeah, really don't see that happening anytime soon(the girlfriend part, that is :sadyes:)


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OfflineCosmicFool
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Re: The Asshole Dilemma: i'm out of... [Re: rulesq]
    #19876908 - 04/21/14 06:30 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

back in the day people used to use corn cobs then they would just feed them to the pigs
and then sears catalogs became a good source of butt paper


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OfflineBennD.42
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Re: The Asshole Dilemma: i'm out of... [Re: CosmicFool]
    #19876918 - 04/21/14 06:38 AM (10 years, 30 days ago)

...use one of yer shirt sleeves...you have 2 of em! Then you can wear that shirt next time you gotta go,and if you happen to be out again,-sleeve number 2 for your number two!!!


--------------------
...I'd much rather be fishing,!!!

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InvisibleApollyphelion
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Registered: 03/15/07
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Re: The Asshole Dilemma: i'm out of... [Re: memes]
    #19876932 - 04/21/14 06:51 AM (10 years, 30 days ago)

You and I are Ghetto Bruvs, brah!


--------------------

"I'm looking at you looking at it"

SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLEASE! www.youtube.com/apollyphelion



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Invisibledr_gonz
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 44,654
. [Re: Apollyphelion]
    #19876935 - 04/21/14 06:55 AM (10 years, 30 days ago)

.

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Invisiblememes
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Re: The Asshole Dilemma: i'm out of... [Re: dr_gonz]
    #19876942 - 04/21/14 06:59 AM (10 years, 30 days ago)

Quote:

dr_gonz said:
I feel like there's an Apolly machine in all of this. You should make a machine that wipes asses :yesnod:





:yesnod:

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InvisibleApollyphelion
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Re: The Asshole Dilemma: i'm out of... [Re: memes]
    #19876945 - 04/21/14 07:05 AM (10 years, 30 days ago)

I need more powerful motors!
Otherwise, I totally would make a shitting fake ass
along with a powerful motor with wadded up asswipes.


--------------------

"I'm looking at you looking at it"

SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLEASE! www.youtube.com/apollyphelion



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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: The Asshole Dilemma: i'm out of... [Re: shivas.wisdom] * 1
    #19877158 - 04/21/14 09:02 AM (10 years, 30 days ago)

Quote:

shivas.wisdom said:
Quote:

Asante said:
I would have done it with my left hand and washed it.  You may be shocked but billions of people do it that way, literally. I never have but home alone its a good time to experience it.




believe it or not, this method results in a much cleaner butthole afterwards--you're actually cleaning with water, not just smearing shit up and down yer crack


should be considered a life skill



THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
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Invisiblerulesq
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Re: The Asshole Dilemma: i'm out of... [Re: Sheekle] * 1
    #19877164 - 04/21/14 09:05 AM (10 years, 30 days ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
Quote:

shivas.wisdom said:
Quote:

Asante said:
I would have done it with my left hand and washed it.  You may be shocked but billions of people do it that way, literally. I never have but home alone its a good time to experience it.




believe it or not, this method results in a much cleaner butthole afterwards--you're actually cleaning with water, not just smearing shit up and down yer crack


should be considered a life skill



THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING



Nuthrt :nutkick:


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OfflineLion
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Re: The Asshole Dilemma: i'm out of... *DELETED* [Re: Sheekle]
    #19877264 - 04/21/14 09:46 AM (10 years, 30 days ago)

Post deleted by Lion

Reason for deletion: .


--------------------
“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”

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Invisiblememes
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Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
Re: The Asshole Dilemma: i'm out of... [Re: Lion]
    #19877270 - 04/21/14 09:49 AM (10 years, 30 days ago)

:ilold: sheekle loves pepperoni

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