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OfflineFungi_x
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I need some help!!!
    #1970060 - 10/01/03 07:02 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I went to see my gf today and noticed a black and blue mark on her arm. I asked her what happened and she told me she did not want to talk about it. Later on I questioned her about a conversation we had the night before on the phone where she sounded really upset (on the phone that night when I asked her what was wrong she said "I don't want to talk about it") well she was reluctant to tell me what happened but finally I explained I could tell something was bothering her and she needed to be able to share this type of stuff with me, Well the black & blue mark she said was from where her step dad of two months grabbed her and threw her out the door  :alert:  :mad2:
He also called her a slut and told her he did not want her in the house anymore. This all started over a conversation about something her younger brothers did earlier in the day.

This bothers me more than anything has ever bothered me before. The fact that this asshole has been in her life for only two months scares me. If he is losing his temper to the point of phisical and mental abuse after this short of time.... well I'm scared this may get worse in the future.
I have no respect for a man who hurts a woman, Growing up I have seen my mother horribly beaten' by boyfriend after boyfriend and this really hits home.
I made her promise me that if he calls her names, hits or grabs her so hard as to leave a mark again she will talk with her mother about it, and also tell me whats going on.
If this happens again and her mother minimizes how bad this is, I need to know how to get her out of this situation. She will not be 18 for eight months, This is the biggest problem. If she was 18 she would already be living with me and I would be treating her like she deserves.
Im really scared that if this happens again im going to be powerless to stop it and end up in jail for hurting this guy... VERY BAD! 


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HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS!


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Offlineneutralizer
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Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 635
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Last seen: 10 years, 18 days
Re: I need some help!!! [Re: Fungi_x]
    #1970459 - 10/01/03 09:13 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Call the cops, don't put up with that shit and don't let her put up with it either. If the police fail to do anything about it, then at the very least photograph & record it and all details, and you should probably speak to a lawyer about what to do to help record all the shit he's pulling in case your gf decides to sue him later on.

You could also talk to him and tell him that you don't appreciate him beating your girlfriend and that if he does it again you will personally kick his ass, or call the cops, whatever you think would be better (perhaps both?). Tell him that you photographed and recorded all the details and spoke with a lawyer and let him know that you're not playing around. If you/anyone confronts him, be sure to be prepared beforehand and don't let his pussy-ass squirm out of the situation. I'm fucking pissed off after reading what he's done. I hope you nail the bastard, either legally or by setting his ass straight.

The fact that she's under 18 would probably be of legal importance. Don't forget about that.

Also, if he is doing that to her, he probably has/is/will do the same to her mother.


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There are things known, and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors - Morrison


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Invisibletak
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Re: I need some help!!! [Re: neutralizer]
    #1970494 - 10/01/03 09:25 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

beat his ass


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The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.


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Offlinesykobish
ProfessionalPsycho - JTOKREW
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Registered: 03/15/03
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Re: I need some help!!! [Re: Fungi_x]
    #1970854 - 10/01/03 11:03 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I agree with neutralizer.  Do something about it now, even if it's just talking to a lawyer / cop and taking pictures / documenting what's going on.  You can't let it slip by because you dont know how serious it may get.. You could always talk to a cop about what you can and can't do about the situation.  Just talking to one does not mean you are laying charges, but i think an officer would be the best choice.  They would be able to tell you exactly what your options are and it would also give them a 'heads up' about what is going on.  Talk to your girlfriend about the importance of what is actually  happening.  It may just seem like a shove or a push right now, but what about tomorrow?  It always progresses.  If he's doing this to your girlfriend, there is a very good chance that he is also doing this to her mother.  Perhaps sit down with the mom and let her know what's going on.  If it's happening to her as well, that would also make her feel more comfortable about talking about it, knowing that she isn't alone, having someone to talk to..

I really hope that you can settle this easily and that it doesn't get worse then it is now.  But you have to do something immediately.  As 'small' as it may seem right now, this kind of thing is very serious.  I don't mean to worry you but you dont know what will happen tomorrow so you may not have another chance. :frown:


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I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

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To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
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Offlinepattern
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Registered: 07/19/02
Posts: 2,183
Loc: Canada
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Re: I need some help!!! [Re: Fungi_x]
    #1971717 - 10/02/03 03:35 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I saw my neighbour beating up his girlfriend in the HALLWAY of our apartment building.

Cops called.

It was over by the time they came but the guy got a good lesson from them when they hauled his stupid ass to jail.


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man = monkey + mushroom


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Offlineenotake2
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Re: I need some help!!! [Re: pattern]
    #1975310 - 10/03/03 08:59 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I agree take it seriously. I'd strongly encourage your girlfriend to tell her mum, and even maybe take out an AVO and go live somewhere else. Abusers change slowly and only if they want to, so the best thing to do is get away and as soon as possible. Father figures calling girls sluts has been associated with sexual abuse. Watch out for that guy.


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Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: I need some help!!! [Re: Fungi_x]
    #1991181 - 10/08/03 09:37 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I don't know what state you live in, but as a crisis intervention specialist in middle schools for the past 17 years, I've called Child Protective Services countless times when I've seen physical damage. Whatever they're called in your state, you can phone it in and remain anonymous. Listen - one of my counselees told his friends (not me, unfortunately) that if he wasn't in school on Monday, it would be because he was dead. This was when it was a junior high, and he was over-age: 17. His step-father poisoned him, his 4 year old sister and their mother, drained their blood, and entombed them in their garage. The perp fled the country to Haiti where there is no extradition, so the case remains open. It's been a decade. Phone it in!


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γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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Offlinesykobish
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Registered: 03/15/03
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Re: I need some help!!! [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #1992103 - 10/09/03 03:34 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

That's insane. Why the hell did that monster do that? You gotta wonder what people think when they do these crazy things to people they are suppose to love and care about....

fungi_x i hope everything has gotten better. Make sure you keep us posted on what's going on.


--------------------
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
Global Living Space


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Offlineenotake2
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Re: I need some help!!! [Re: sykobish]
    #1992326 - 10/09/03 06:14 AM (13 years, 4 months ago)

Power and control.


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Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.


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