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InvisibleLordSenate
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Re: Methoxetamine -- My Five Day Retreat To Powder Mountain [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #19655799 - 03/05/14 04:47 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

I used to love going to the hole on K but my mind seems too fragile now, I will surely take it that far again someday, eventually anyway.

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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Methoxetamine -- My Five Day Retreat To Powder Mountain [Re: ModestMouse]
    #19655801 - 03/05/14 04:47 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Jackson, if you get close to the hole things get hectic but in the hole there generally is profound peace.

Ramping up to the Hole and inside it though you get synesthesias like a motherfucker, the most incomprehensible brain functions merge into each other, not just senses mix up but thoughts merge with perceptions et cetera, and you'd be swimming in a thick soup of those. Your whole brain is interconnected and it all starts to cross over at once.

But way before the Hole it can get pretty fantastic. The brain surgery I wrote about, that wasnt even properly inside the Hole but in a pre-Hole state.


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OfflineJacksonMetaller
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Re: Methoxetamine -- My Five Day Retreat To Powder Mountain [Re: Asante]
    #19655992 - 03/05/14 05:30 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Yeah but the thing is my only experience in a full hole was absolutely horrifying :lol: For me it seems hit or miss regardless of how far i go at this point. I had gone into a khole once at about 265mg. Within minutes i had no recollection of sober reality what so ever. Seemed like an eternity of nonsensical psychotic events. I was floating above my body watching myself die from the very most vague notion that i had ingested a drug. So vague i had almost forgotten about it, but i knew i was killing myself from bad choices. Then my mom was a caterpillar and we said fuck it and started doing ketamine together and my gf and i hopped on my moms back and rode her around the k-space. The rest of that time was me and my gf and the dog floating in all sorts of incomprehensible dimensions. The dog was just another human chilling on the bed with us, joining in on our ketamine adventures.

I don't know... when i write it out it sounds pretty damn fun. But throughout the whole thing i could not shake the notion of how fragile life is. Every moment felt like an eternity with endless distance  between me and the ones i loved. Like i had traded everything to crack my brain and scramble it like a couple eggs. I guess it wasn't "horrifying" but rather disturbing. Even with my dog, and mom, and gf in the k-space it still felt very lonely. Like we were all there but completely disconnected from our bonds to one another.

I tend to have some anxiety issues regarding drug use though, so hopefully in time i'll get accustomed to the effects and learn to enjoy it more.

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InvisibleModestMouse
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Re: Methoxetamine -- My Five Day Retreat To Powder Mountain [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #19656040 - 03/05/14 05:41 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

It's the DPT bud. It made me fear psycho-actives more. I don't know if that's why you're hesitant with them but I know you said you've tried DPT before.


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OfflineJacksonMetaller
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Re: Methoxetamine -- My Five Day Retreat To Powder Mountain [Re: ModestMouse]
    #19656108 - 03/05/14 05:57 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

ModestMouse said:
It's the DPT bud. It made me fear psycho-actives more. I don't know if that's why you're hesitant with them but I know you said you've tried DPT before.




DPT was actually the most recent drug i tried. If anything it was probably ayahuasca. That's the drug that really made me shit bricks for fear of my sanity. But i'm fairly certain i had anxiety issues before as i do recall having rough DMT trips weeks prior and bad MXE experiences years ago. IDK. I think as some people go on with drugs they become accustomed to the effects, and others become more weary as the novelty wears off. At least that's what it feels like for me. I've read too many hppd/dp/dr/psychosis etc stories and on some level i think i'm permanently unsettled by it. Even though i love the drugs and know it's a pretty fat chance if used responsibly, that notion is always lingering in my sub conscious and is damn hard to shake that any trip may not include the return ticket. At first it was fun and games and seemed 100% worthwhile. Now as all that novelty wears off it becomes less justifiable. But of course i still love it, and push through for those glorious moments the best i can when the time is right. But it generally takes a long hard look in the mirror and a peptalk

Edited by JacksonMetaller (03/05/14 06:00 PM)

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InvisibleModestMouse
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Re: Methoxetamine -- My Five Day Retreat To Powder Mountain [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #19656131 - 03/05/14 06:02 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

JacksonMetaller said:
DPT was actually the most recent drug i tried. If anything it was probably ayahuasca. That's the drug that really made me shit bricks for fear of my sanity. But i'm fairly certain i had anxiety issues before as i do recall having rough DMT trips weeks prior and bad MXE experiences years ago. IDK. I think as some people go on with drugs they become accustomed to the effects, and others become more weary as the novelty wears off. At least that's what it feels like for me. I've read too many hppd/dp/dr/psychosis etc stories and on some level i think i'm permanently unsettled by it. Even though i love the drugs and know it's a pretty fat chance if used responsibly, that notion is always lingering in my sub conscious and is damn hard to shake that any trip may not include the return ticket. At first it was fun and games and seemed 100% worthwhile. Now as all that novelty wears off it becomes less justifiable. But of course i still love it, and push through for those glorious moments the best i can when the time is right. But it generally takes a long hard look in the mirror and a peptalk




Well said. I think i'm nearing that point in my journey too. Even the thought of a really great trip sort of scares me. There's so much shit flying around in my head, I just don't want to make any permanent mistakes.

Totally get what you're saying.


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Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?

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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: Methoxetamine -- My Five Day Retreat To Powder Mountain [Re: Asante]
    #19657813 - 03/06/14 12:30 AM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Wiccan_Seeker said:


With a full-on dream, delirium or psychosis you no longer have that luxury, you are completely taken by that other reality and you no longer reality check because the "sober" side of you is asleep or lost the plot.







Have you ever tried a full on deliriant?  Datura or Belladonna etc?  Some of my very "Wiccan" friends have, mostly older cats from the 60s, asthma inhalers w/ Belladonna etc... not my cup of tea, but am curious about anecdotes if you have 'em  :smile:  I have many K Hole synergy peak of acid experiences, I know just what you mean with one foot in dreaming/waking consciousness....


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Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.

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OfflineFree.Your.Mind
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Re: Methoxetamine -- My Five Day Retreat To Powder Mountain [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #19657874 - 03/06/14 12:51 AM (9 years, 11 months ago)

iv never had such a strong mental addiction to any drug but MDMA until MXE came along

i cant believe how beautiful the substance is


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OfflineFree.Your.Mind
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Re: Methoxetamine -- My Five Day Retreat To Powder Mountain [Re: Free.Your.Mind]
    #19657887 - 03/06/14 12:58 AM (9 years, 11 months ago)

if i had the money id buy a kilo and live in the m hole for months

:mxe: :aweyeah:


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: Methoxetamine -- My Five Day Retreat To Powder Mountain [Re: Free.Your.Mind]
    #19657906 - 03/06/14 01:11 AM (9 years, 11 months ago)

never tried, know ketamine intimately from the days when it was legal, shipped pure from Germany.......often taken just prior to peak of acid trip....  I have vividly bizarre memories, being drawn into the rocks by muse sirens, crossing the Mohave in my basement into caves, my room turning into the Nile, clasping hand with an old bearded asian man on a lotus flower in the middle of a pond....  I do enjoy dissociative dreams...


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Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.

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OfflineFree.Your.Mind
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Re: Methoxetamine -- My Five Day Retreat To Powder Mountain [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #19657914 - 03/06/14 01:15 AM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

CosmicJoke said:
never tried, know ketamine intimately from the days when it was legal, shipped pure from Germany.......often taken just prior to peak of acid trip....  I have vividly bizarre memories, being drawn into the rocks by muse sirens, crossing the Mohave in my basement into caves, my room turning into the Nile, clasping hand with an old bearded asian man on a lotus flower in the middle of a pond....  I do enjoy dissociative dreams...



:glorious:


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Methoxetamine -- My Five Day Retreat To Powder Mountain [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #19658127 - 03/06/14 04:14 AM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

CosmicJoke said:

Have you ever tried a full on deliriant?  Datura or Belladonna etc?  Some of my very "Wiccan" friends have, mostly older cats from the 60s, asthma inhalers w/ Belladonna etc... not my cup of tea, but am curious about anecdotes if you have 'em  :smile:





I have, though only once in a full on deliriant dose, most of the times in doses where the realities coexisted. I made an infamous post about it almost 10 years back.

I collected my experiments in a shamanic poem describing the influence, substance used generally was chewed datura stramonium seeds:


Quote:

ATROPIA

Welcome to Atropia
the Darkest Realms of the Soul
Welcome to Atropia
Universe of Spectres

Feel the tension, the excitement
slowly creeping up on you
here, now, anything can happen
here, now, the Dark Gate opens

Lying in Darkness
Spectres Dwale the room
solid like Flesh and empty like the Void
the Visions commence

I saw the locomotive stop
that train station, World War Two or Three
persecuted herded into them
I am one of them

Feel Lust ripping through your Flesh
unhinged, potent, sexual frenzy
accompanied by cruel visions
you spew your spawn, shrieking like a beast

I was There, there on the battlefield
rotting corpses as far as i could see
intense horror, its not imagined
dead eyes staring at me

Soaring through the air and Time and Space
drinking dinosaurs, pastoral
a creature looked at me with the thinnest eyes
not of this Earth, yet here with me

The tension is merciless
you could cut the air with a straight-edge razor
explosions of fear shatter my Courage
living my very worst wide-awake nightmare

Contentedly smiling I drive my car
through the lush lands of Nature
I know: this is Real
another Life in another Time

It is over and done with me
I feel Life oozing from my Flesh
There is no doubt, no doubt at all
I am dying here in my bed

Clairvoyant events
ghosts of a distant past
the telephone rings in my room
there is no telephone in my room

Am I awake or am I dreaming
there is nothing left to discern
paralysed and petrified I lie in bed
while Visions seep into Eye and Ear.

Raging tension
excited Lust and willingness
fear soars through my body
my erection driven in the sheets

Demon of Fear
Demon of Lust
Demon of Visions
Tonight I dream my dreams in Atropia





I have been all-out delirious only several times, and this was in 2011, while binging on Methylone and MDPV.  There the other realm completely replaced my reality. It was unforgettable, very scary yet fascinating. Its something you DON'T WANT, and it takes years to mentally recover from such episodes.
They certainly led to a lot deeper immersion than my natural psychotic breaks in my earlier years.


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: Methoxetamine -- My Five Day Retreat To Powder Mountain [Re: Asante]
    #19661851 - 03/07/14 02:04 AM (9 years, 11 months ago)

wow, that's pretty morbid, i have no intent of ever taking datura.... i've never much experienced auditory hallucinations (except once during amphetamines and sleep deprivation, was more akin to being in a lunch room with lots of people talking and only hearing blurbs of conversation mixed in with sounds of chatter rather than holding full blown conversations with deities etc.)  it's always something i've been interested in, but I get my fill from the traditional LSD/DMT etc, a drug that could do it is probably not on the menu for me.


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.

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OfflineTheGreenArrow
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Re: Methoxetamine -- My Five Day Retreat To Powder Mountain [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #19662327 - 03/07/14 07:09 AM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Wiccan I loved your report about that "brain surgery" trip.  I've had similar sensations while on the peak of a 600 ug LSD trip.  I felt an energy rise from the bottom of my spine all the way up. Felt like the back of my skull just "popped" open.
That's the only experience I've had with ego loss.  I've been such a better person since.  I think about how my actions effect the others around me more.
Have you had any experience with MXE and psychedelics?


--------------------
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an
invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a
sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the
dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an
equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a
computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.
Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein
Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs

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