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OfflineSpacerific
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Registered: 10/13/12
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Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: Endure]
    #19190412 - 11/26/13 04:12 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Endure said:
he probably has a shitty paying job if he isnt out already



or no job at all? :cookiemonster:

I totally get how one can get into these negative bitching-about-others kind of thinking, especially when everything seems dark and hopeless. I've been there a lot myself, back in the day. Usually takes a few years before one notices these thoughts aren't going anywhere good, not fixing the problem, not leading to an awesome life.

I have my hopes up that OP will in fact find much better insights in subsequent trips and smoking sessions. We all have to start somewhere.

I found great help in listening to massive amounts of self-improvement audiobooks. We have the internet, there are ways now to surround oneself with the greatest minds that ever lived, benefit from great thinking and awesome influence. High level questions and expectations. Thanks to the wonder of mp3 players one doesn't even have to bother reading text, it's extremely lazy-friendly way of getting information, but there is that small matter of actually Googling, downloading, filling a player and pressing play.


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Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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InvisibleShroomismM
Space Travellin
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Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: Alexestalex]
    #19190451 - 11/26/13 04:23 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

You should move out. If you hate them so much then the best revenge is to succeed on your own.

I moved out at 16 and it was a good decision.

However the things you are bitching about with your parents.. are normal things and other people would consider themselves lucky to be in your position.

But if you hate them so much then fucking move out


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Offlineakira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
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Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: Alexestalex]
    #19190493 - 11/26/13 04:52 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

the OP is pretty clear, and since a couple days ago upon reading it the first time... it seems to have gotten past the point of the OP; or maybe not, i didn't read the whole thread.

OP, you say it in your post... the most important thing... your parents are fucked. fucked up, bad. either put up with it, or get out if their mere fuckedupedness fucks with you so much.


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InvisibleAlexestalex
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Registered: 03/20/12
Posts: 5,644
Loc: heart of the sun
Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: Spacerific]
    #19625109 - 02/27/14 08:35 AM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Hey guys, I wanted to update this topic. I am very embarrassed for making such a post and saying I'm sociopathic is certainly an understatement. Truth is, I'm not a bad person, this "hate" I felt was merely in my heart, I didn't display any of it to my parents. I've just been suffering from a bout of depression for the past 3-4 years. I'm not suicidal, I just need a change in perspective. I'm going to try and visit a psychologist, its just difficult to convince my parents because they view that as the ultimate act of giving up. They also have this bias where depressed people who get help always end up being prescribed powerful antidepressants that numb their brains and make them addicts. Maybe they're right.

Anyway, I have not smoked pot in months and most of my self loathing and hate has disappeared. Marijuana certainly had a negative impact on my attitude and it would sort of lock my emotions. If my parents made me angry, the anger would stick for longer. Little things became far more bothersome too and I felt lethargic for days after I would smoke. Obviously pot effects people differently, I know some who derive great therapeutic benefits from it and more power to them, but it really had a negative impact on my well being.

I still find it hard to feel empathy due to my depression but I certainly dont feel hate anymore. Its sad because I was able to feel these emotions of love and compassion years ago, but now it's replaced with this boring numbness. It just used to come so naturally and the strange thing is, nothing has changed for the worse over the past three years. I haven't experienced any trauma, any major emotional/physical pain, or anything really. But that's what depression is, an irrational desensitation to ordinary pleasures.

To those who have benefitted from visiting a psychologist and can relate from my post, please do share your experiences. Talking to my parents about this topic is tricky and virtually none of my friends or family members know or suspect a thing.


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Stay far from timid, only make moves when your heart's in it.


Edited by Alexestalex (02/27/14 08:38 AM)


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OfflineThe Ecstatic
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Registered: 11/11/09
Posts: 33,573
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Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: Alexestalex]
    #19625139 - 02/27/14 08:46 AM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Don't kill your parents, OP.

If I find a news article about a teen killing his parents because he smoked weed, I'm gonna rape you.


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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
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Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: The Ecstatic]
    #19625623 - 02/27/14 11:04 AM (9 years, 11 months ago)



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OfflineIcyus
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Registered: 11/07/13
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Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: Alexestalex]
    #19625912 - 02/27/14 12:08 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Weed made you see an other perspective. You were the one, and the only one to pass judgement on your expereance.


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www.piday.org/million/


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InvisibleAlexestalex
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Registered: 03/20/12
Posts: 5,644
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Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: Icyus]
    #19625951 - 02/27/14 12:15 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Icyus said:
Weed made you see an other perspective. You were the one, and the only one to pass judgement on your expereance.




Yes, it did. Having experimented with a lot of different substances, I'm not sure which perspective is the "real" me.

On Kratom, I'm content with my family. On MDMA I love my family to death. On alcohol, I find my family funny, but in a good way. On psychedelics, I feel more connected in a strange way to them. On weed, I begin to hate every single flaw they have and am unable to see anything positive. When I'm sober, I feel no strong emotions towards them, neither of hate nor love.


--------------------

Stay far from timid, only make moves when your heart's in it.


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OfflineEverything
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Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: Alexestalex] * 1
    #19626103 - 02/27/14 12:55 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

HEYYYY! awesome dude, glad you came to this realization! I KNEW IT KNEW IT KNEW IT, you don't hate your family :smirk:

I think i commented earlier, What i was trying to say is to feel such intense emotions about every little thing they do, you must care a lot about them, thats the only way i could see it really bothering you, just seems maybe things were quite a bit....distorted for you, but those feelings of caring and anger and suffering were out of love all along.

So yeah dude, drugs can make you experience some really crazy shit and put you in some weird states of (un?)consciousness and it can be almost impossible to see the lines between "drug induced" and "real"...in fact they might as well be the same, however, taking drugs can make you feel like your feelings are yours, when in fact there is an altercation in brain chemistry involved.

I'm going to have to check this out for myself, i smoke marrijuana daily, except for yesterday funny enough and today as of yet. However i bet you there are tons of things i feel that i think are coming purely from me and have nothing to do with marijuana when in fact, I'm seeing a different "picture" then i would otherwise.

I get upset with people and my girlfriend sometimes, rarely my parents though when i was a child i had similar feelings to what you experienced. I wonder if marijuana makes me view certain things more negatively like it does for you?

in the opposing hand, marijuana may make me see certain people and ideas more negatively it makes me see other things more positively.

Heres how i would explain that:

when i get stoned your thoughts tend to grow and curl like long finger nails. It's like maybe I would stem off into a thought sober but it would be more of a fleeting notion, however when i'm stoned that thought stem keeps a'goin.

So your smokin some danky wid te homies, maybe some purp shkirt, and then those thoughts kick in. I usually get more quiet, become a listener, or maybe a good analogy would be a guitar pickup. When i'm sober I'm more acoustic, but when i get stoned it's like being turned into an pickup/humbucker and all these vibrations become amplified in my head.

So now were all blazed as fuck hanging out in a room, maybe some people aren't baked, who cares. but someone starts talking, and now that the pickup is running whatever they say is amplified to me, i begin to think about what they are saying, WHY they are saying, HOW they are saying and instantaneously begin to form a lot of thoughts on the person that could be relevent or irrelevant to what they are saying.

SO it becomes easier for someone to come off in a certain way. Some negatives that seem to be easy to pickup from people are egotism,cynicism,unawareness,crudeness,anger,fiendish desire.

It just seems like i pickup more of this from people when i'm stoned. However it's good to remember not to let any of that cause you suffering, even if it's more obvious.

It's easy to pick up positives in people when i'm stoned as well. For instance i notice acts of kindness much more clearly. When someone gives me something, without me asking or attempting to get anything, it's completely pleasent and i am very thankful of their kindness, noticeably more so than sober...especially if it's food! 

:jah:

Other things like empathy, respect, balanced mind, joy/laughter, sexual attraction, or just general happiness are easier for me to see in others.

Your thoughts are not you though, I just feel marijuana amplifies what i see around me. and maybe this isn't true for you, maybe it makes you feel negative and you see a lot of negativity in that state.


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OfflineMescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 6,755
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: Alexestalex]
    #19626111 - 02/27/14 12:57 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Im confused how weed can make someone a negative nancy. It helps me tolerate my family much much more.


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FREE BURKE


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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: Mescalean]
    #19626119 - 02/27/14 12:58 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Mescalean said:
Im confused how weed can make someone a negative nancy. It helps me tolerate my family much much more.




Sometimes weed gives people anxiety, especially if they're broke and frequently run out :lol:


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OfflineApostle
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Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 31,501
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Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: Repertoire89]
    #19626153 - 02/27/14 01:07 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

I knew a dude in S.America who didn't smoke because it made him violent.

ended up smoking him out. I didn't feel too at ease and he had some weird vibes..


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OfflineMescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 6,755
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: Apostle]
    #19626182 - 02/27/14 01:14 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

One of those guys who puts off rapey vibes huh.


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FREE BURKE


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OfflineApostle
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Registered: 12/12/09
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Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: Mescalean]
    #19626190 - 02/27/14 01:16 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Homicidal, to be honest.


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OfflineMescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 6,755
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: Apostle]
    #19626231 - 02/27/14 01:24 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Damn. Sober was he normal?


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FREE BURKE


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OfflineEverything
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Registered: 06/26/10
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Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: Mescalean]
    #19626302 - 02/27/14 01:39 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

weed making people violent? That is pretty rare and unusual.


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OfflineIcyus
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Registered: 11/07/13
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Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: Everything]
    #19626329 - 02/27/14 01:47 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

In some ways, you are what you eat... on the other hand, you are responsible for own actions..


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www.piday.org/million/


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OfflineApostle
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Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: Mescalean]
    #19626517 - 02/27/14 02:36 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Mescalean said:
Damn. Sober was he normal?



yea for sure, he was pretty chill otherwise. South America is crazy man. turns out I was staying with an ex-hitman too. scares me that my aunt is dating him but he seems ok.


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OfflineIcyus
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Registered: 11/07/13
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Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: Alexestalex]
    #19626662 - 02/27/14 03:03 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

High on toilet said:
Quote:

Alexestalex said:
Quote:

Icyus said:
Weed made you see an other perspective. You were the one, and the only one to pass judgement on your expereance.




Yes, it did. Having experimented with a lot of different substances, I'm not sure which perspective is the "real" me.

On Kratom, I'm content with my family. On MDMA I love my family to death. On alcohol, I find my family funny, but in a good way. On psychedelics, I feel more connected in a strange way to them. On weed, I begin to hate every single flaw they have and am unable to see anything positive. When I'm sober, I feel no strong emotions towards them, neither of hate nor love.



The real you is sober

Quit using drugs to escape reality and face your problems.




We are allways influenced by something.. but aye.. the last statement is indeed noteworthy...


--------------------
www.piday.org/million/


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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
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Re: Weed has made me hate my family [Re: Icyus]
    #19626776 - 02/27/14 03:25 PM (9 years, 11 months ago)

I think I need to like smoke everyday and then when I have a long vacation stop smoking...


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