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Hellogoodbyedeath

Registered: 03/24/12
Posts: 2,904
Loc:
Last seen: 2 years, 16 days
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Quote:
MushroomTrip said: Why and why?
It was odd. I went to a private Catholic high school in which very many people were sexually active (so much for good ol' Christian principles, huh? ) and for a while, I thought I was missing out on something. And then there was a time where I would place myself above others because I believed I was somehow superior to them for not having given it away so easily.
Edited by Hellogoodbyedeath (02/28/14 07:14 PM)
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Celestica
Stranger

Registered: 01/06/14
Posts: 63
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
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Well, Never been proud over it, sometimes when I was about 14-15 i was ashamed and would probably have given it away if I had the possibility quite easy. I was the nerd and everyone kinda knew in a way, so. The hot popular girls in my class kind of hit on me, sometimes sat in my lap, but it was just a bullyish joke and all knew it, including me. Then I lost it when I was sixteen to my ex-girlfriend and that was that.
-------------------- Currently growing: Lophophora Williamsii, different variations Trichocereus Peruvianus Trichocereus Pachanoi Trichocereus Bridgesii Silene Capensis Acacia Maidenii Mimosa Hostilis Lithops, Euphorbias and lots of different non psychoactive Cactus species. Chinese pepper tree. All grown indoors and most are still babies.
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deCypher



Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 56,232
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Quote:
MushroomTrip said: Were you proud of yours when you had it?
Well, before puberty I really didn't care either way. I thought it was weird how influenced post-puberty humans were by sexual desire, and I remember seeing a porn video back when I was 6 or 7 and just thinking that it was odd--no feelings of revulsion or attraction. 
After puberty, however.... I was always more of the nerdy type. I kept my virginity until I was 17 going on 18, and admittedly I always did feel a bit jealous of the kids who lost their virginity earlier. But in retrospect, I'm glad I waited till I was ready. It enabled me to emotionally mature to a better standpoint of being able to handle it, honestly.
-------------------- We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
 
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Quote:
It enabled me to emotionally mature to a better standpoint of being able to handle it, honestly.
What do you think the difference would have been in how you handled it, had you lost your virginity earlier?
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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deCypher



Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 56,232
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Quote:
MushroomTrip said:
Quote:
It enabled me to emotionally mature to a better standpoint of being able to handle it, honestly.
What do you think the difference would have been in how you handled it, had you lost your virginity earlier?
Well, perhaps I would have deflated the high level of importance that I (as well as most nerdy, virgin boys) tend to ascribe to the sexual experience. This might have been a positive thing, but I fear this in turn could have led to increased promiscuity on my part, more one-night stands with minimal emotional attachment, more broken hearts as a result of said one-night stands, increased risk of having to deal with girls freaked out about possible pregnancy, me freaking out about possible STDs, etcetera etc.
That isn't to say that this series of events wouldn't help with character growth, but IMO waiting for as long as I did gave me the opportunity to see the potentially negative repercussions of early sexual exploration/wilful hedonistic abandonment with usual slim care for the consequences (most teenagers in high school don't have fully developed frontal lobes, which is probably why they make rash decisions without even thinking about potential detrimental results).
Overall, perhaps I missed out on some fun times by not losing my virginity earlier, but I don't think I would have been as ready to deal with the smorgasbord of potentially bad things that can issue from said event. Of course, this hypothetical scenario I just constructed could be utterly wrong, and I could missed my chance to become the Alpha Stud on Campus with two bitches on each arm while my phone blows up constantly with California dimes desperate to blow me. 
In reality, however, I'd probably end up getting the first bitch I fuck at, say, 14 pregnant, and with my luck it would turn out that she comes from a really Catholic family who forbids her to get an abortion. As a result, I now have to take care of a kid I don't even really want, am forced to pay child support for 18 more years, and in general have just now pretty much ruined my life. So yeah, I'm glad I waited. High school freshmen are not typically, on the whole, emotionally mature enough to deal with sex and the myriad of issues it can cause IMO.
-------------------- We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
 
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Jack yo Self foo
The Artful Dodger


Registered: 06/28/08
Posts: 3,096
Loc: Where the red fern grows....
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You don't what you've got till it's gone.
Except when it comes to virginity.
-------------------- You learn something new everyday, so be sure you learn something from it.
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Penelope_Tree
Shamanic Panic



Registered: 07/31/09
Posts: 8,535
Loc: magic sugarcastle
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I had no sense of value attributed to my virginity, and so I let go it quickly and easily in hopes of fast gains in the pleasure department. Now, I am rather embarrassed at my sexual haste (that continued for another 10 years, also to my current dismay). I'm finally coming to terms with it after being hit hard and realizing that I emotionally can't (and don't want to) deal with the casualness of my previous M.O. anymore. It also helps me to realize there was a pathological element to it all.
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full blown human
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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What was pathological about it?
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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Penelope_Tree
Shamanic Panic



Registered: 07/31/09
Posts: 8,535
Loc: magic sugarcastle
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mmm.. that's debatable, sure. I guess the biggest reason is that I look at that period in my life now and am in disbelief of how I lived. I felt gross about myself many times, but sought to ignore/numb/distract myself from what I was doing instead of face the demon and understand it. I would say that a lot of the time I was on autopilot and reacting to/manipulating my environment. Putting myself in a position where I was raped on many different occasions and never thinking I should stop doing that or that it was concerning.. It's just weird and I'm still figuring out if it's something I need/want to talk about with people I let get close to me. The older I get, the more I lean towards "no," yet here I am talking about it, so there's some inconsistency.
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full blown human
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Salomon
ಠ︵ಠbalance ಠ_ಠweaver ಠ‿à²

Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 25,128
Loc: America, FUCK YEAH
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never have, quite possibly won't. i'm indifferent to it really
but hey i'm pretty quiet and that dosen't make relations with people easy, of any kind, much less sex.
so i suppose it'd be a more personal than casual experience.
i'd rather just hook up electrodes to my nerves and force orgasms with the push of a button
-------------------- EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Quote:
Penelope_Tree said: Putting myself in a position where I was raped on many different occasions and never thinking I should stop doing that or that it was concerning.. It's just weird and I'm still figuring out if it's something I need/want to talk about with people I let get close to me. The older I get, the more I lean towards "no," yet here I am talking about it, so there's some inconsistency.
Do I understand right that you consider your actions to be rape inviting? Because if this is so, it might just be part of the unprocessed trauma you're dealing with, which often times includes blaming oneself... It is very true we live in a world where some take certain behaviors as an invitation to rape, but that's just the psychopathic fucked-up rapist mentality. Believing in it might harm you just as much as a rape... Maybe this inconsistency in your needs, which you mention here, is still part of a trauma that needs to be addressed and resolved.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head



Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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I was really embarrassed. I'm not even part of the culture that's supposed to be out there, but you seem like a bit of a stupid boy still if you can't even get laid and come into your adulthood as a human being.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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Tropism
ChasingTail


Registered: 09/12/09
Posts: 2,039
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Did that drive you to do it?
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Grapefruit
Freak in the forest


Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 5,744
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
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I don't really understand why you'd be proud or ashamed of virginity.
-------------------- Little left in the way of energy; or the way of love, yet happy to entertain myself playing mental games with the rest of you freaks until the rivers run backwards. "Chat your fraff Chat your fraff Just chat your fraff Chat your fraff"
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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me either, but there it is
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Penelope_Tree
Shamanic Panic



Registered: 07/31/09
Posts: 8,535
Loc: magic sugarcastle
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Yeah, you read me right. I think I also need a different job so that I'm not confronted by these same issues in other people everyday. That quickly becomes emotionally draining. Still figuring out if that's avoidance or simply taking care of myself... I'm leaning towards the latter.
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full blown human
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Avoidance is a method of taking care of yourself, at least until you're ready for facing something. But how did you come to the conclusion that your actions were rape inviting?
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head



Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: Virginity [Re: Tropism]
#19677621 - 03/10/14 07:05 PM (9 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Tropism said: Did that drive you to do it?
Yeah. I'm not even part of the culture and if I met someone that was 23 and a virgin like I was at that age, I'd involuntarily think less of them. It's just how it seems to go, why over think it.
I was mentally ill though, that's why I couldn't talk to chicks or really have interest in sex enough to get laid. In fact it was difficult to maintain boner during that first time.
It really changes what you think about girls / how you approach them. If you've never had your sprinkle inside one you act like a bitch around them.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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Penelope_Tree
Shamanic Panic



Registered: 07/31/09
Posts: 8,535
Loc: magic sugarcastle
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Some philosophical dude once said something like, "If monkeys drank beer and experienced a hangover, they'd never touch beer again. Humans, on the other hand..." If it had only happened one time, I could chalk it up to bad luck, bad person, etc.. but the repeat offenses make it seem as if the problem was primarily my behavior. IDK. I get it - that still doesn't excuse the other party. I just feel stupid and like I contributed to the situation. Glad to be out of that period in my life.
IDK how I went off on this tangent.. Sorry to hijack the thread.
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full blown human
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elev8d
Stoner



Registered: 12/14/13
Posts: 29
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
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I was ashamed before I had lost it. Even in middle school lmao. I finally lost it to someone special, and realized how over hyped it was and it didn't even seem cool at that point-but I think it's good to wait for the right person/til you can hold responsibility, or it's sketchy/awkward
-------------------- I can do anything I want and so can you
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