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atayia
nom nom
Registered: 02/24/08
Posts: 1,319
Loc: Canada
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Re: A different look at Schizophrenia [Re: Rhizohunter] 1
#19518430 - 02/03/14 10:33 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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I just wanted to say that I am amazed at your description - I have never been able to accurately describe what is happening to me because my brain twists it as I try but you are close to what I experienced. However, I also receive times where the voices just say totally offensive things like calling me a slut, calling me a prostitute, telling me to go home (and i will be sitting in my home while this is happening), and just in general being annoying or offensive (this is all that seems to be left these days, i am on a pretty good med cycle which is working for me, which is good, but still sad and annoying that this is what has 'stayed')
anyway the whole experience with schizophrenia made it really hard to have conversations until i reached the perfect concoction of meds. i would say i'm in remission or whatever at the moment except for the occasional offensive voices.
before the disease (onset in 2009, suddenly, very quickly, experienced various episodes of psychosis all the way until 2012) anyway before the disease onset i used to be able to trust my gut instinct pretty accurately, i could live organically pretty easily, since the disease i find things hard to do like making a decision that used to be easy and i have lots of moments of great self awareness that just make everything totally awkward and uneasy/unpleasent (i just started school for my second bachelor's degree doing computer sciences)
i have never tripped, though i have smoked pot and taken ecstasy. the last time i did anything harder than pot was in 2004. i had pretty much stopped smoking pot around 2004 as well because it caused the great self awareness type experience which was very unpleasant too, instead of being a relaxable chill experience. sometimes even smelling pot can put me into that state of self awareness too which is unfortunate as pot smells like heaven in reality.
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Edited by atayia (02/03/14 10:48 PM)
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended
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Re: A different look at Schizophrenia [Re: atayia] 1
#19519158 - 02/04/14 04:22 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
the voices still try to convince me they are other peoples thoughts.
Same here. And they use people's body language to construct elaborate psychoses while maintaining that I am reading their minds.
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Icyus
KavitārkikasiṃHa
Registered: 11/07/13
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Loc: Inbetween.
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Re: A different look at Schizophrenia [Re: FishOilTheKid] 1
#19519166 - 02/04/14 04:30 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
FishOilTheKid said:
Quote:
the voices still try to convince me they are other peoples thoughts.
Same here. And they use people's body language to construct elaborate psychoses while maintaining that I am reading their minds.
The voices might be telling the truth.. they probably arent the thoughts of anyone you would know though..
-------------------- And thus begins the reverse-fusing of our one-dimentional understanding, and adds ever-expanding perspectives, in depth and number; splitting our perception, and in so doing, seemingly irrationally, creates yet more one-ness, with all that ever was, is and will ever be, streching across the infinite, inunderstood concept of everything, percievable and not.
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended
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Re: A different look at Schizophrenia [Re: Icyus] 1
#19519582 - 02/04/14 08:36 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Well I would sit in coffee shops and have extensive conversations with people in the room under the impression that it is super secret that some people are truly 'up' with the ability to look in on the mind, hear it, and manipulate it effectively with flashes of light, direct control over different muscle groups, and subconscious suggestion.
Its as if there is a layer of voice. Ears to hear. ...And the heavens opened up and there was a voice... Ya know? So this is going on all around people and they don't have the perception to even notice of hear any of it.
But there is the possibility for illumination and then you are joined with it. But Baphomet shows up and wants you to say, 'I AM BAPHOMET!' The enemy of X-tianity. Lucifer. The snake in the garden. I maintain that the snake is Jesus but they disagree and they are representatives of religion. Mormonism being one of them.
They can produce quite a show but they are responsible for creating a psychic vacuum with the help of these spirits and this dense energy. They harness life force with their books and their angels hypnotize people in their sleep and steal information from them.
I know you think I'm completely psychotic but this is the Truth. I watch it go on all day and all night.
The US is a mind control operation where they give us up to the 'population' the OTHER.
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Icyus
KavitārkikasiṃHa
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Re: A different look at Schizophrenia [Re: FishOilTheKid] 1
#19519595 - 02/04/14 08:43 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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No, no.. psycosis is something else.. it is the lack of being grounded.. caring too much, maybe also sometimes about caring to little..
I am skilled in manipulation, and know a little hypnoterapy myself.. Your words make some sense.
-------------------- And thus begins the reverse-fusing of our one-dimentional understanding, and adds ever-expanding perspectives, in depth and number; splitting our perception, and in so doing, seemingly irrationally, creates yet more one-ness, with all that ever was, is and will ever be, streching across the infinite, inunderstood concept of everything, percievable and not.
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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Personally I think the original post is nothing more than a fanciful composition. Even if it was channeled what makes you think that the spirit knows anymore than they did in life. Being dead would not automatically confer wisdom. I guess it could be an alien being channeled...Metatron...still this seems bogus and ultimately harmful to me.
I watched my brother self destruct and die within 8 years of becoming an active schizophrenic. There is nothing blessed about this.
Keep Kratom Legal
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate
Registered: 09/20/05
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Re: A different look at Schizophrenia [Re: Huehuecoyotl] 1
#19524540 - 02/05/14 10:13 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Huehuecoyotl said: Personally I think the original post is nothing more than a fanciful composition. Even if it was channeled what makes you think that the spirit knows anymore than they did in life. Being dead would not automatically confer wisdom. I guess it could be an alien being channeled...Metatron...still this seems bogus and ultimately harmful to me.
I watched my brother self destruct and die within 8 years of becoming an active schizophrenic. There is nothing blessed about this.
Keep Kratom Legal
Had no idea you ever still posted here, Huehue! I need to start checking this forum more regularly.
I have little to add except to say thank you to all the people who've shared their experiences in this thread. I can relate to a lot of the phenomena described here, though I think a lot of it goes well beyond anything I've ever experienced. I had a prolonged period similar to what Rhizohunter described above, brought on by an entheogenic experience. I remember posting lots of weird things related to it here in PS&P in the months after it happened, and I felt then that some of the posters here were guiding me through this period of intense psychic fragmentation.
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended
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Re: A different look at Schizophrenia [Re: Lion] 1
#19529126 - 02/06/14 06:37 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head
Registered: 01/14/10
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Re: A different look at Schizophrenia [Re: FishOilTheKid] 1
#19529374 - 02/06/14 07:56 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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There is no absence of magic in consciousness and the world, if illuminated by an apt consciousness, but this illness has nothing to do with expanding consciousness or anything like that.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended
Registered: 11/14/10
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Re: A different look at Schizophrenia [Re: circastes] 1
#19529434 - 02/06/14 08:15 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Then I maintain that I was misdiagnosed repeatedly.
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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Re: A different look at Schizophrenia [Re: Lion] 1
#19532843 - 02/06/14 09:14 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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I drop in occasionally...
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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Optic_Weirdo
Registered: 01/27/14
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Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
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Re: A different look at Schizophrenia [Re: Huehuecoyotl] 1
#19532892 - 02/06/14 09:21 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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As do I.
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended
Registered: 11/14/10
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Last seen: 5 days, 19 hours
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Re: A different look at Schizophrenia [Re: circastes] 1
#19538035 - 02/08/14 03:22 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
circastes said: There is no absence of magic in consciousness and the world, if illuminated by an apt consciousness, but this illness has nothing to do with expanding consciousness or anything like that.
I'll say that you can move from states of ignorance into states of direct being or The Truth or the Ground of Being even The Self. You go about this through the ego death sequence or experience. I guess you don't have to say 'expanding' but there is this bleed over from another domain of information. Subconscious? Telepathy? Spirits? So in my own experience the Schizophrenia seems to be an elaborate hoax perpetrated by modern psychiatry to keep all of this potentially hidden knowledge SECRET. Its ironic the reason that it has to remain secret and there are efforts to silence people is because a mass awakening to 'contact' would cause a schizophrenic like reaction in the public. They would go temporarily insane is the argument. And our civilization isn't exactly set up to go into a collective experience where that bleed over happens for people.
So apart from the illness side of things there is this quality of magical experience, magical thinking, and meetings with other worlds and beings. That's all. I don't believe it to be the product of my imagination at all.
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