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OfflineSteelPanther


Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 3,453
Loc: The Energy
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through
    #19493836 - 01/29/14 09:18 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I said stupid/lazy in the title because some people are a combination which is a pretty bad combination. I know a person who is stupid and very lazy. The person might hear your question but decide its too much work to think of a reply. The person also does just straight up retarded things, the best expression of a response is the image of the face-palm, just utterly ridiculously stupid things out of laziness to think. There are certain things I have to rely on this person for and what eats me up is knowing the person screw it up one way or another and I will have to fix it. The person will also never do anything, such as even looking up how to do things, or the answers to things. If you know a lazy/stupid person like this, is there any way to get them to snap into reality and realize how ridiculously lazy they are to the point where they come off as literally mentally handicapped. The person is not literally retarded by the way, only a bit of aspergers / light autism. I would really like to get the person to stop being so lazy but despite all the times I correct the mistakes and explain how the person messed up, the person refuses to change and just sits around, or does rudimentary tasks a 10 year old would do when they are bored. As much as this person sounds like they are literally a retard, the person 100% is not a retard, please don't try and say that the person may actually be retarded. I do not want to type a long explanation and everything but the person is not.


--------------------
Everything I say on here is not true, I am an insecure person who lies about doing drugs and stuff to make myself feel good. So any illegal things I may have talked about are all fictional.

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: SteelPanther]
    #19494224 - 01/29/14 11:00 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I have no idea what kind of "friend" talks about others like this.  If this person is so dense then find another friend. I can guarantee they don't need you in their life.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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OfflineSteelPanther


Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 3,453
Loc: The Energy
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: Icelander]
    #19494240 - 01/29/14 11:04 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Your right the person doesn't need me, however I help the person on a routine bases, and legitamently try to help them. The person would get around 10% of tasks their supposed to get done if I didn't help the person. I was just wondering if anyone had experience with a similar type of person. Just because the person is a friend should I not call them stupid or lazy, I don't believe in euphemisms just because its a friend.


--------------------
Everything I say on here is not true, I am an insecure person who lies about doing drugs and stuff to make myself feel good. So any illegal things I may have talked about are all fictional.

Edited by SteelPanther (01/29/14 11:05 PM)

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Invisiblequinn
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: SteelPanther]
    #19494257 - 01/29/14 11:09 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

sometimes supporting someone actually facilitates their laziness


--------------------
dripping with fantasy

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Invisiblecez
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: SteelPanther] * 1
    #19494264 - 01/29/14 11:10 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

You probably can't change them.
Until they want to change, don't expect anything new from em.

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OfflineSteelPanther


Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 3,453
Loc: The Energy
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: cez]
    #19494280 - 01/29/14 11:14 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I 100% agree with supporting them adds to the laziness, the only problem is that we work together and If i leave even a simple task of looking something up on google to the person, it generally won't get done for many weeks. We work together, we both get nearly the same benefits from the work, however it really is 99.5% me doing the work.

Sadly, I do not expect anything new, I just hope.


--------------------
Everything I say on here is not true, I am an insecure person who lies about doing drugs and stuff to make myself feel good. So any illegal things I may have talked about are all fictional.

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Invisiblecez
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: SteelPanther]
    #19494288 - 01/29/14 11:15 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Maybe start being an asshole to the person.:shrug:

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OfflineSteelPanther


Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 3,453
Loc: The Energy
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: cez]
    #19494425 - 01/29/14 11:56 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

That would be really hard, and I think the person would simply just not do anything with me, communicate, or get things done. Something I have thought might be good would be to get the person interested in stimulants, some people do benefit from being stimulated. The person is way more into downers though since the person likes to relax all the time. The extent of relaxation is so great that the person gets in/involved in no arguments. Im going to stop trying to be non gender specific because its annoying. He will simply agree with the argument, and if someone were to ask him to verify that they did something in order to prove their right in an argument, he would just not say anything in order to not have to get involved.


--------------------
Everything I say on here is not true, I am an insecure person who lies about doing drugs and stuff to make myself feel good. So any illegal things I may have talked about are all fictional.

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: SteelPanther]
    #19494640 - 01/30/14 01:22 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

SteelPanther said:
Your right the person doesn't need me, however I help the person on a routine bases, and legitamently try to help them. The person would get around 10% of tasks their supposed to get done if I didn't help the person. I was just wondering if anyone had experience with a similar type of person. Just because the person is a friend should I not call them stupid or lazy, I don't believe in euphemisms just because its a friend.




Why do you choose such "friends"? There's a world of people out there.

And if he's fucking with your work load why not let him get fired.

Something doesn't sit right about this scenario?

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OfflineSteelPanther


Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 3,453
Loc: The Energy
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: Icelander]
    #19494643 - 01/30/14 01:24 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

He has been my friend all my life, I'm not going to stop being friends with him because he's slow in the head


--------------------
Everything I say on here is not true, I am an insecure person who lies about doing drugs and stuff to make myself feel good. So any illegal things I may have talked about are all fictional.

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: SteelPanther]
    #19494644 - 01/30/14 01:25 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Why not?


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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OfflineSteelPanther


Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 3,453
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: Icelander]
    #19494660 - 01/30/14 01:30 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Im loyal to my friends, and don't just leave them. I personally only even like to have loyal friends, if I had a friend who would stop being my friend because I started doing heroin and spiraled down hill or something, I wouldn't consider them a friend. One time I remember saying this to a different friend. We were walking and he was talking about robbing a car, and about to walk up and try I said something along the lines of " If you rob that car right now, I'm never once going to hang out with you again " that was enough for him to stop stealing because he valued my friendship.


--------------------
Everything I say on here is not true, I am an insecure person who lies about doing drugs and stuff to make myself feel good. So any illegal things I may have talked about are all fictional.

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InvisibleIcelander
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Male


Registered: 03/15/05
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: SteelPanther]
    #19494667 - 01/30/14 01:32 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Then you deserve such people in your black and white life. You can now be his caretaker for the rest of it. :tongue:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Invisiblecez
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: Icelander]
    #19494722 - 01/30/14 02:02 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Friends are tools.

When a tool is no longer of use, why keep trying to use it?

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Invisiblequinn
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: cez]
    #19494800 - 01/30/14 02:57 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

no you're the tool :crankey:


--------------------
dripping with fantasy

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OfflineDense Cake
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: cez]
    #19494845 - 01/30/14 03:19 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

cez said:
Friends are tools.

When a tool is no longer of use, why keep trying to use it?




Because friends aren't just tools. They're like tools with emotional implications attached to them; like having a wrench fetish or something. When you stare into a friend's face, you see their feelings laid bare in relation to what actions you can do to affect their feelings. You don't want to hurt them even if you know you have to.

I agree that OP should do something drastic to try and change the situation, possibly abandon the friend if all hope is really lost. But just because I say that, and he knows it, doesn't make it any easier to go through with.

Sensitivity is something to emotionally account for, not necessarily to abide by in making important social choices.

Again, it doesn't change your point. But it's not always that simple.

For a last analogy: Throwing away used up tools is complicated to do, because you've built so much shit with them, and not only that, but it's going to take some time to go to the store and get some new ones after you throw these ones out. And we all know how hard life is without your tools.


--------------------

When I was a boy, I was afraid to die.
When I became a man I was afraid to live.
But, when I became a little bit wiser, I became a child who walks with death.
Now, I play outside every day in a never ending summer; my glory days never faded.
And I smile ironically in the face of my doom.

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: Dense Cake]
    #19495001 - 01/30/14 04:51 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Get a dog. Train it. Bond with it.  Problem solved.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Offlinethirtygoats
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: SteelPanther]
    #19495011 - 01/30/14 04:57 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Sometimes the only way to help a person is to not help at all. When they hit rock bottom, they should see that the only way to escape is to do it on their own. Sometimes you're actually hurting somebody by helping them.

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: thirtygoats]
    #19495020 - 01/30/14 05:02 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

:thumbup: often


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Invisiblecez
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: quinn]
    #19495032 - 01/30/14 05:07 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

quinn said:
no you're the tool :crankey:




If only I had a function :sad:

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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: cez]
    #19495242 - 01/30/14 06:58 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

cez said:
Maybe start being an asshole to the person.:shrug:




Recently a dude drives up in his truck.  Looks like a rasta dude so I take the time to chat.  He wants to take all the scrap metal.  I say sure, but you also have to take this mound of tires (about 150, probably 40 are on rims).  His face kind of scrunches but he agrees and drives off, promising to come back the next day.

Next day he and his partner do show up, and have in fact found someone to take the tires as well.

Fast forward to loading the truck or at other times.  Partner treats first dude like shit by screaming at him in this annoying degrading tone.  Treating him like he is stupid.  Granted first dude is not all there, but he was the dude that got the job! 

My helper/friend really gets annoyed by the screaming partner, but I think it's interesting he just stands there and takes it.  Not a word back basically.  Then afterwards all seems well just business as usual.  And these two scrap a lot and fast.  So it seems to "work".



--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.

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OfflineSteelPanther


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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #19497702 - 01/30/14 05:32 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

The person will not hit rock bottom because he lives with his parents, and they are not going to kick him out anytime soon, maybe in 10 years if he stays the same.


I was just thinking and I thought of a possible way to try and get the person to snap into reality. I was thinking I could say "this is hard

to do, but I am certain it is the right thing to do" (thats the truth) and then go on to ask him questions about why he does certain

things, and every time he says stuff like "I don't know" or "Hmm... gotta think about it (which leads to nowhere)" to be agressive and

yell at him to try and get him to realize it is a serious thing. It seems weird to do something like this since it seems like something a

parent should do but his parents don't really mind or something. For example one question might be " so when you get a text

message from me, what goes through your head?" for me and everyone else he often does not reply or replies a couple days later,

often times a couple days later he'l respond to a serious question like "hey (my name)". I am nearly certain his answer would be similar

to something like "well.. I'm just busy a lot of times and don't have time to talk" theres 2 things wrong with this. First, he is rarely ever

busy, he considers going shopping for an hour a tiring, and complete day, afterwards he'l go home and just sit around. Second, the

answer could be a single word which would take a whole 5 seconds to type in and he still doesn't reply. After he says that I would

confront him about the 2 points I just made. He would most likely say something along the lines of "you really don't know since your

not here all the time, I'm usually pretty busy". Now, that statement is true, however he is busy doing tedious tasks which could be

done in about 10 minutes, but instead he'l go as slow as can be and take all day. His family members also confirm this is what he

does. I would then go on to confront him about that, and so on until we get to the bottom of it. After what will take hours since it

takes many minutes for him to answer a simple question, I am nearly certain it would get down to him being lazy, and hopefully he

would realize his career plans are simply a fantasy, 100% if he doesn't change. What he wants to do for a living is an independent

thing, but it takes a couple months to get the type of jobs done. It would take him years... so he would get fired.


I'm interested to know if anyone thinks this is a good or bad idea. I am not interested to hear about how you shouldn't try to help your friends, and just leave them.


--------------------
Everything I say on here is not true, I am an insecure person who lies about doing drugs and stuff to make myself feel good. So any illegal things I may have talked about are all fictional.

Edited by SteelPanther (01/30/14 05:32 PM)

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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: SteelPanther]
    #19497830 - 01/30/14 05:59 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Judge not lest ye be judged yourself. 



--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.

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OfflineSteelPanther


Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 3,453
Loc: The Energy
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #19497878 - 01/30/14 06:10 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Im not going to watch the video right now, but Im all for being judged and people telling me about things I should improve.


--------------------
Everything I say on here is not true, I am an insecure person who lies about doing drugs and stuff to make myself feel good. So any illegal things I may have talked about are all fictional.

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: SteelPanther]
    #19497880 - 01/30/14 06:11 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Then get a life. :wink:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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OfflineSteelPanther


Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 3,453
Loc: The Energy
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: Icelander]
    #19498102 - 01/30/14 07:07 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Just wondering Icelander, if it was you and your brother ( if you don't have one assume you do ) would you just let him laze his life away, or help him?


--------------------
Everything I say on here is not true, I am an insecure person who lies about doing drugs and stuff to make myself feel good. So any illegal things I may have talked about are all fictional.

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InvisibleIcelander
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Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: SteelPanther]
    #19498171 - 01/30/14 07:22 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I'd let him laze his life away absolutely for sure.  He'd be better for it imo.  What's the ultimate goal in life anyway? We are all going nowhere fast and who am I to say what's the best way to get there.  It's quite enough just to take care of myself.

Down the road I believe you are going to regret using your precious time trying to make someone over in your image of the best way to live.  You might wake up one day and realize you don't know how to live and it's a disservice to try and direct anyone else.

I'm not just trying to ride your ass for no reason here.  You have very limited time.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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OfflineSteelPanther


Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 3,453
Loc: The Energy
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: Icelander]
    #19498206 - 01/30/14 07:29 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I know I do, and my friend wastes ALOT of my time because I have to rely on him for one specific thing. So I want to save my time, I really do care about my time, and I get mad when time is wasted. Thanks for the advice, and reminding me about time, I should get laid this weekend. I have actually been procrastinating getting laid!


--------------------
Everything I say on here is not true, I am an insecure person who lies about doing drugs and stuff to make myself feel good. So any illegal things I may have talked about are all fictional.

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OfflineDense Cake
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: Icelander]
    #19498216 - 01/30/14 07:31 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Icelander said:
I'd let him laze his life away absolutely for sure.  He'd be better for it imo.  What's the ultimate goal in life anyway? We are all going nowhere fast and who am I to say what's the best way to get there.  It's quite enough just to take care of myself.

Down the road I believe you are going to regret using your precious time trying to make someone over in your image of the best way to live.  You might wake up one day and realize you don't know how to live and it's a disservice to try and direct anyone else.

I'm not just trying to ride your ass for no reason here.  You have very limited time.




I have to mostly agree with Icelander. Although I am a bit more uptight.

Personally for me, if it were my brother or best friend I would do my best to help, but once it gets to that point where I realize I'm actually crossing a threshold of feeling good about what I'm doing, then it's time to turn back and go home.

I will help people, I will gladly take time out of my day to try and make someone's life better. It makes me feel good. But if it's been my whole life, and he has shown clear signs that what I'm doing isn't necessary, or worse, isn't appreciated, then I'm also going to turn back.

Don't waste your time trying to make people better in your vision. It's not that there is anything wrong with it by nature, it's just that it's not going to lead to anything else. It's an empty goal.

I've been in situations like this before, and what I can tell you from experience is that the moment you choose to let go is going to be the moment when you are liberated.


--------------------

When I was a boy, I was afraid to die.
When I became a man I was afraid to live.
But, when I became a little bit wiser, I became a child who walks with death.
Now, I play outside every day in a never ending summer; my glory days never faded.
And I smile ironically in the face of my doom.

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OfflineSteelPanther


Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 3,453
Loc: The Energy
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: Dense Cake]
    #19498230 - 01/30/14 07:33 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I know, I highly look forward to the day when I am able to do his simple task myself. It really is a simple one but because of complicated circumstances I can't do it.


--------------------
Everything I say on here is not true, I am an insecure person who lies about doing drugs and stuff to make myself feel good. So any illegal things I may have talked about are all fictional.

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OfflineGorlax
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: SteelPanther]
    #19498252 - 01/30/14 07:37 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

yeah a lot of people waste away time. sounds like your friends depressed or stoned as fuck all the time..

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OfflineDense Cake
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Re: Getting stupid/lazy people to think their actions through [Re: SteelPanther]
    #19498259 - 01/30/14 07:38 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

SteelPanther said:
I know, I highly look forward to the day when I am able to do his simple task myself. It really is a simple one but because of complicated circumstances I can't do it.




I see. Well best of luck to you. You realize what we're saying and that's what is important.

Just as what you have said about your friend, we will use the same mindset to target you, or anybody's progress. We'll help, offer advice, do what we can, etc. But when the time comes, and there are no longer any results to show for what has been said/done, it's hard to say anything else without feeling like a nincompoop. :shrug:


--------------------

When I was a boy, I was afraid to die.
When I became a man I was afraid to live.
But, when I became a little bit wiser, I became a child who walks with death.
Now, I play outside every day in a never ending summer; my glory days never faded.
And I smile ironically in the face of my doom.

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