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 lsdkiwi
Student of the Universe
Registered: 12/24/13
Posts: 285
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
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 I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me 
#19485366 - 01/28/14 09:29 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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So I didn't believe flashbacks would ever happen to me until last night when I started tripping face after smoking some weed. I tripped way harder than I have any of the times I've actually done acid (3 times). This was the most profound drug experience of my life... all from a couple weed hits! (I am very experienced with weed...) I even saw what I can only describe as "divine light" at one point. It was like a white, bright, WARM light (I could swear I could feel its warmth). This has not happened during a trip before.. How unusual is it to have a flashback this intense?
More information: I took a recreational dose of dxm around 31 hours before my flashback and a recreational dose of dph 28 hours before the flashback.
This was very stupid and I regret my rash abuse of chemicals but its the truth and I can't take it back. I wonder if one of those other chemicals is partially to blame for this episode. My pupils have been dilated since that first dose of dxm kicked in and never returned to normal size (even whilst sober and going about my day).
I know this was an actual flashback and not some kind of re-kick of the dxm and/or dph because the difference between the two experiences is night and day. On dxm and dph, reality was confusing and hard to hold on to. However, during the peak of my flashback, my mind painted a beautiful picture on my ceiling where the shadow of the ceiling fan on the wall resembled a beautiful flowering flower. I perceived the towel over my fire detector to be a praying scholar just like in the original assassin's creed game. However I was able at all times to look "down" on my reality with astonishing clarity.
I feel as though God may have given me this flashback to teach me that drugs are not to be messed with and I was being way too casual with them. (And this is coming from someone who has considered themselves an atheist their entire life!) Every time I did acid I always got the feeling that God is real but during this flashback that feeling was very... strong (note the divine light I mentioned earlier). I was marveling over the mere existence of life and the universe for hours. Honestly before this I had a very strong desire to attain a mind-blowing "high"(preferably psychedelic, and not necessarily euphoric). This desire was at the route of my dxm and dph abuse.  I mention this only because this desire was 110% satisfied with this flashback. I feel as though God simply knew that I had this dangerous idea in my head and gave me this flashback to save me from myself. I'm doing a lot less drugs now. drugs are bad... mmmkay? (south park anyone?)
Not sure how I feel about psychedelics right now. The fact that they have caused the above thought patterns leads me to believe that either God actually is real and psychedelics bring me closer to him, or psychedelics are pretty messed up. Either way, I need to put a lot less mind-altering chemicals into my body...
I'm still tripping a little and I stayed up all night, wasn't able to do homework that was due and may have to skip some classes today. Fuck. I'm slightly concerned I may be going crazy due to my drug use but I have enough faith in my psyche that everything will go back to normal with time.
  
edit: interesting thought: while I was peaking I felt like a ghost. Hard to explain why but I really couldn't/didn't interact with my environment much, just observed it. I could however, pick something light up (like the water bottle I drank) and do other "ghost" things. I think that there is a chance psychedelics are a window into what we will experience upon death.
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"lsdkiwi ignored every person that gave him advice that conflicted with what he wanted to hear.
He's the type of person who blames all his problems on others, and refuses to accept any sort of responsibility for things that take place in his life. This thread was a complete waste of time."
"They hate us 'cause they ain't us" - Kim Jong Un
One day we'll look back on these times and wonder how people could have been so discriminatory against pot smokers during the prohibition era. This is a fight for the right to explore altered consciousness at will for both spiritual and recreational purposes.
Edited by lsdkiwi (01/29/14 03:16 AM)
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 Lucid Toast
Suggestion expert
Registered: 08/24/11
Posts: 820
Loc: Canada 
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 Re: I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me [Re: lsdkiwi]
#19485392 - 01/28/14 09:38 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Sounds like you had a freak out from pot 
Some times I do acid 3 times a week so I wouldn't blame it on lsd.
You sound a little delusional with this "getting closer to god threw physics", do you have mental health issues?
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You have to let it go neo, fear, doubt. Disbelief
"The menu is not the meal."
Alan watts
“Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.”
Bill Hicks
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lsdkiwi
Student of the Universe
Registered: 12/24/13
Posts: 285
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
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Re: I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me [Re: Lucid Toast]
#19485408 - 01/28/14 09:46 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sounds like you had a freak out from pot
Some times I do acid 3 times a week so I wouldn't blame it on lsd.
You sound a little delusional with this "getting closer to god threw physics", do you have mental health issues?
Nah. I just went through an extremely spiritual experience. Nothing talked to me or anything it was just an overall feeling of "God" being around. Hard to explain. My religious beliefs are now doused in uncertainty. I just no longer feel certain that God Doesn't exist if that makes sense.
I don't think I'm having a "freakout from pot" lol. I've done a lot of pot in my lifetime. This felt EXACTLY like acid. I'm still feeling some effects 9 and half hours after I smoked but I am slowly coming down. I didn't even smoke an excessive amount... Weed intoxication never lasts more than 3, maybe 4 hours tops for me.
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"lsdkiwi ignored every person that gave him advice that conflicted with what he wanted to hear.
He's the type of person who blames all his problems on others, and refuses to accept any sort of responsibility for things that take place in his life. This thread was a complete waste of time."
"They hate us 'cause they ain't us" - Kim Jong Un
One day we'll look back on these times and wonder how people could have been so discriminatory against pot smokers during the prohibition era. This is a fight for the right to explore altered consciousness at will for both spiritual and recreational purposes.
Edited by lsdkiwi (01/28/14 09:53 AM)
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Advocate
Aspirant
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Re: I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me [Re: lsdkiwi]
#19485452 - 01/28/14 10:00 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Dude. I did ayahuasca last night and I felt VERY much like what you're talking about. See if this resonates with you.
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It is better to be patient than powerful; it is better to have self-control than to conquer a city.
~Proverbs 16:32
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Spacerific
- - - >
Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
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Re: I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me [Re: Advocate]
#19485617 - 01/28/14 10:51 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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IMO flashback is probably not the most accurate word to describe the situation.
You took a bunch of chems then later smoked some weed and had a very different trippy experience, unlike the normal weed high. I've had stuff like this before, namely smoking weed and seeing the most amazing Salvia/shroom/acid visuals, sometimes long after my last trip. Never have I called these semi-trips "flashbacks". I consider them perfectly normal and in fact very much welcome
As for the "God" part, do you have any other frameworks at your disposal to integrate this in, other than the Judeo-Christian stuff? Seems like a bit of a slippery slope to start with, though it's probably useful if it gets you acting more responsibly around things you used to abuse.
Have fun, stay safe, good vibes 
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Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Re: I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me [Re: Spacerific]
#19485623 - 01/28/14 10:53 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yeah, you're not having a flashback, you're just smoking yourself into a trippy headspace. I love it.
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Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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lsdkiwi
Student of the Universe
Registered: 12/24/13
Posts: 285
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
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Re: I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me [Re: Advocate]
#19485762 - 01/28/14 11:22 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Dude. I did ayahuasca last night and I felt VERY much like what you're talking about. See if this resonates with you.
Yes it did.
I wasn't shown anything (there was no actually contact or communication) and I obviously didn't go nearly as deep as you. However, everything I experienced would be consistent with the "truth" you experienced.
Quote:
But life does not feel like this for the most part. There is suffering. But suffering is not the same as pain. Pain can be positive. We feel it because something is wrong, and to feel pain is to know a form of truth. Suffering, on the other hand, comes from not knowing truth. If a person knows the truth behind life, they can be happy in any circumstances. A lack of truth is isolation. This manifests as our feeling of being alone in the universe. Each person has this feeling. It shapes itself into demons that will define us. For me, it was the need to constantly be mothered and looked after, because I didn't know how to find comfort in the face of the universe.
My demons are vastly different from yours but I particularly can relate to this paragraph a lot. I believed in the gist of what you said in this paragraph even before my flashback, even though I was an atheist.
Quote:
Whenever God speaks to a person, it is in the way they best understand: words, images, or intuition
If God "spoke" to me, it was definitely through intuitive understanding. At the time of the peak of the experience: God's existence, and even the concept of consciousness after death felt almost undeniable. He didn't really answer any questions for me about things though as I am extremely unsure of what I believe in now spirituality. Was it drugs that did this to me? I wasn't even on anything except weed at the time. wtf? Is this even possible? This was above and beyond, the most mind-boggling, perplexing, confusing, and yet enlightening experience of my life. There really is no logical way to explain it away either.
My pupil dilation has FINALLY ended (they've been dilated the past 36 hours or so) and I feel more "sane" with each passing minute. I don't feel permanently changed and the spiritual experiences I've had have definitely changed the way I think about my spirituality, but as a person I feel unchanged. I am grasping onto my normal thought patterns like a man kissing the ground after a near death experience on a plane or something lol. I just did some accounting homework and learned more in 20 minutes than I have in the whole semester so far. Learning something new is a great feeling.
I now know you cannot simply dismiss experiences like yours and mine as drugged up delusions anymore, so I am not dismissing your experience at all when I say this but why do you think he showed you the answers?
I decided to stay in for the day and pretend I was sick. Believe me, I need a day to think and relax.
--------------------
"lsdkiwi ignored every person that gave him advice that conflicted with what he wanted to hear.
He's the type of person who blames all his problems on others, and refuses to accept any sort of responsibility for things that take place in his life. This thread was a complete waste of time."
"They hate us 'cause they ain't us" - Kim Jong Un
One day we'll look back on these times and wonder how people could have been so discriminatory against pot smokers during the prohibition era. This is a fight for the right to explore altered consciousness at will for both spiritual and recreational purposes.
Edited by lsdkiwi (01/28/14 01:44 PM)
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Agentchewy
Pantheism.
Registered: 12/12/12
Posts: 3,960
Loc: vietnam 
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me [Re: lsdkiwi]
#19485784 - 01/28/14 11:30 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
lsdkiwi said:
an overall feeling of "God" being around.
Sounds like you got a little dose of what Einstein felt near his later days.
As Alan watts once said; "God is what nobody admits to being, but everybody really is."
“Jesus Christ knew he was God. So wake up and find out eventually who you really are. In our culture, of course, they’ll say you’re crazy and you’re blasphemous, and they’ll either put you in jail or in a nut house (which is pretty much the same thing). However if you wake up in India and tell your friends and relations, ‘My goodness, I’ve just discovered that I’m God,’ they’ll laugh and say, ‘Oh, congratulations, at last you found out.”
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If I knew the way, I would take you home.
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rikuni
Registered: 04/06/10
Posts: 982
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me [Re: Agentchewy]
#19485827 - 01/28/14 11:40 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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...
Edited by rikuni (03/16/14 05:28 AM)
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lsdkiwi
Student of the Universe
Registered: 12/24/13
Posts: 285
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
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Re: I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me [Re: lsdkiwi]
#19485932 - 01/28/14 12:04 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
IMO flashback is probably not the most accurate word to describe the situation.
Quote:
Yeah, you're not having a flashback, you're just smoking yourself into a trippy headspace. I love it.
What just happened to me was the most profound experience of my life. It was stronger than my experiences with actual acid. I'm actually a little disturbed that weed was able to do that to me, to take me that far.
I do believe this was a full on flashback for a couple of reasons.
1. It had the indistinguishable feel of acid all over. In particular my concept of time was completely shattered and my ego was partially dissolved. Acid, to me, has a certain look to it that is unmistakable. Seeing the beautiful flower shadow on the wall and seeing a praying scholar was so breathtaking I almost shed a tear in appreciation of its beauty (the scholar kind of represented my idea of the perfect moral being to me).
2. It was more intense than my actual trips, and I've been smoking the ganj on the reg for around 6/7 months now, as well as several years of intermittent experience beforehand, and this felt completely different from weed.
3. I was peaking in this insane psychedelic head space for around 6 hours. I am finally feeling more sober but I am still feeling it some 12 hours after I smoked.
I actually replied to someone saying they had psychedelic hallucinations on weed a few weeks back, essentially telling them "no, this is not possible, you are crazy". Oh the irony lmao. 
Accepting the possibility of God's existence could ONLY happen for me in a state of dissolved ego. I used to believe that religion was just a crutch for the mentally weak... I don't definitively believe in God now, I have simply accepted that he may exist... or he may not. Under my state of altered consciousness its impossible to know whether any of those feelings had any legitimacy.
Anyway, I am very confused about what just happened.
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"lsdkiwi ignored every person that gave him advice that conflicted with what he wanted to hear.
He's the type of person who blames all his problems on others, and refuses to accept any sort of responsibility for things that take place in his life. This thread was a complete waste of time."
"They hate us 'cause they ain't us" - Kim Jong Un
One day we'll look back on these times and wonder how people could have been so discriminatory against pot smokers during the prohibition era. This is a fight for the right to explore altered consciousness at will for both spiritual and recreational purposes.
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Re: I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me [Re: lsdkiwi]
#19485971 - 01/28/14 12:14 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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The rabbit hole of Marijuana goes deeper than most initially believe. My friend had an OBE on marijuana and he has never done a psychedelic in his life. It's just the pot, brah.
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Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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lsdkiwi
Student of the Universe
Registered: 12/24/13
Posts: 285
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
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Re: I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me [Re: lsdkiwi]
#19486023 - 01/28/14 12:29 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sounds like you got a little dose of what Einstein felt near his later days.
As Alan watts once said; "God is what nobody admits to being, but everybody really is."
“Jesus Christ knew he was God. So wake up and find out eventually who you really are. In our culture, of course, they’ll say you’re crazy and you’re blasphemous, and they’ll either put you in jail or in a nut house (which is pretty much the same thing). However if you wake up in India and tell your friends and relations, ‘My goodness, I’ve just discovered that I’m God,’ they’ll laugh and say, ‘Oh, congratulations, at last you found out.”
That made me laugh out loud (for real) because I feel so weird posting this because I feel like the average person will think I'm some crazy druggie/hippie from reading this.
I saw this documentary on acid called once called "LSD: trip into hell?". But what I just experienced can only be called a trip into heaven.
Quote:
The rabbit hole of Marijuana goes deeper than most initially believe. My friend had an OBE on marijuana and he has never done a psychedelic in his life. It's just the pot, brah.
Why did this randomly happen though? I barely smoked very much. I've taken multiple grams to face before... I had 3 (very) small single hit bong packs from a cheap bong. Really my "flashback" was only initiated by two hits, as the first hit had been taken 2 hours ago and I was starting to feel sober. It was completely out of the blue. It directly contradicted my past experiences, including smoking weed coming down from acid. I went on a full experience. From an uncomfortable, anxious come-up, to a completely enlightening and comforting journey, to the confusing come down. It was so powerful. And the closed-eye visuals I can not even begin to describe how intricate and detailed and clear they were. I never conceived any of this was possible on weed. The mind is pretty amazing.
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"lsdkiwi ignored every person that gave him advice that conflicted with what he wanted to hear.
He's the type of person who blames all his problems on others, and refuses to accept any sort of responsibility for things that take place in his life. This thread was a complete waste of time."
"They hate us 'cause they ain't us" - Kim Jong Un
One day we'll look back on these times and wonder how people could have been so discriminatory against pot smokers during the prohibition era. This is a fight for the right to explore altered consciousness at will for both spiritual and recreational purposes.
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rikuni
Registered: 04/06/10
Posts: 982
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me [Re: ModestMouse]
#19486027 - 01/28/14 12:29 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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for real BRO! These Sadhus know their shit 
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DirtyTomFlint
( ಥـْـِـِـِـْಥ)
Registered: 11/26/13
Posts: 1,879
Loc: United Kingdom
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Re: I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me [Re: lsdkiwi]
#19486031 - 01/28/14 12:30 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Flashbacks are a real thing, brother. I embrace them. Everytime I'm sittin on the toilet and my vision starts to vaguely twist and morph, I kinda smile and let go haha.
I've had some good shit sessions.
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     Know Your Body, Know Your Mind, Know Your Substance, Know Your Source
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Agentchewy
Pantheism.
Registered: 12/12/12
Posts: 3,960
Loc: vietnam
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me [Re: lsdkiwi]
#19486047 - 01/28/14 12:34 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Pshht you really think religion was created without the use of entheogens?
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If I knew the way, I would take you home.
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lsdkiwi
Student of the Universe
Registered: 12/24/13
Posts: 285
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
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Re: I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me [Re: lsdkiwi]
#19486241 - 01/28/14 01:24 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
As for the "God" part, do you have any other frameworks at your disposal to integrate this in, other than the Judeo-Christian stuff? Seems like a bit of a slippery slope to start with, though it's probably useful if it gets you acting more responsibly around things you used to abuse.
I don't really associate the feelings I had with a particular religion. However, what I felt is "God's" presence and love. Whether these feelings were legitimate or not I do not know. It certainly opened my mind though. Think of all the thousands and thousands of different religions that millions and millions of people have believed so whole-heartedly in. There must be SOME legitimacy to them haha.
Thanks for all the replies. I'm definitely going to need to ponder this further (I want to say meditate but I'm not sure if I'm qualified to use this word yet) at a later date.
quick question: I kinda want to smoke to help settle my mind down, but would it be a good idea considering what I just went through? I actually thoroughly enjoyed it and would welcome it if it happened again, but I'm wondering if smoking right now might not be so smart 
edit: I looked up the Sadhus, freaking awesome man 
Edited by lsdkiwi (01/28/14 01:57 PM)
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Advocate
Aspirant
Registered: 10/26/13
Posts: 934
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
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Re: I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me [Re: lsdkiwi]
#19486393 - 01/28/14 02:02 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
lsdkiwi said:
Quote:
Dude. I did ayahuasca last night and I felt VERY much like what you're talking about. See if this resonates with you.
Yes it did.
I wasn't shown anything (there was no actually contact or communication) and I obviously didn't go nearly as deep as you. However, everything I experienced would be consistent with the "truth" you experienced.
Quote:
But life does not feel like this for the most part. There is suffering. But suffering is not the same as pain. Pain can be positive. We feel it because something is wrong, and to feel pain is to know a form of truth. Suffering, on the other hand, comes from not knowing truth. If a person knows the truth behind life, they can be happy in any circumstances. A lack of truth is isolation. This manifests as our feeling of being alone in the universe. Each person has this feeling. It shapes itself into demons that will define us. For me, it was the need to constantly be mothered and looked after, because I didn't know how to find comfort in the face of the universe.
My demons are vastly different yours but I particularly can relate to this paragraph a lot. I believed in the gist of what you said in this paragraph even before my flashback, even though I was an atheist.
Quote:
Whenever God speaks to a person, it is in the way they best understand: words, images, or intuition
If God "spoke" to me, it was definitely through intuitive understanding. At the time of the peak of the experience: God's existence, and even the concept of consciousness after death felt almost undeniable. He didn't really answer any questions for me about things though as I am extremely unsure of what I believe in now spirituality. Was it drugs that did this to me? I wasn't even on anything except weed at the time. wtf? Is this even possible? This was above and beyond, the most mind-boggling, perplexing, confusing, and yet enlightening experience of my life. There really is no logical way to explain it away either.
My pupil dilation has FINALLY ended (they've been dilated the past 36 hours or so) and I feel more "sane" with each passing minute. I don't feel permanently changed and the spiritual experiences I've had have definitely changed the way I think about my spirituality, but as a person I feel unchanged. I am grasping onto my normal thought patterns like a man kissing the ground after a near death experience on a plane or something lol. I just did some accounting homework and learned more in 20 minutes than I have in the whole semester so far. Learning something new is a great feeling.
I now know you cannot simply dismiss experiences like yours and mine as drugged up delusions anymore, so I am not dismissing your experience at all when I say this but why do you think he showed you the answers?
I decided to stay in for the day and pretend I was sick. Believe me, I need a day to think and relax.
My friend, welcome. You've arrived. Stay a while. Never stop growing. God will show you the next step.
But you have to be attentive so you know what to do next. It will be the very purpose of your life, and so many will envy what you have.
My love and warm wishes to you!
As for why he showed me the answers I found? Because it was time for me to grow up and learn them. Our days are accounted and given to us from God, and he determines what we need and when we need it. For that is the magnificence of his benevolence, to love you as you need to be loved and CONTINUALLY invent new ways to show it!
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Deathcore
Stranger
Registered: 06/08/13
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Re: I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me [Re: Advocate]
#19486451 - 01/28/14 02:20 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Ding.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,172
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Re: I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me [Re: lsdkiwi]
#19486787 - 01/28/14 03:34 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
lsdkiwi said:
...
I actually replied to someone saying they had psychedelic hallucinations on weed a few weeks back, essentially telling them "no, this is not possible, you are crazy". Oh the irony lmao.
...
there ...
you have confessed
3 "hail mary's" and your are good to go.
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 _  🧠 _ 
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RiparianZoneJunky
hunter/gatherer
Registered: 10/30/11
Posts: 3,055
Loc: Oregon
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Re: I didn't believe flashbacks could happen to me [Re: DirtyTomFlint]
#19486852 - 01/28/14 03:45 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
DatIslandLife said:
Flashbacks are a real thing, brother. I embrace them. Everytime I'm sittin on the toilet and my vision starts to vaguely twist and morph, I kinda smile and let go haha.
I've had some good shit sessions.
Yeah, since I've been taking L once or twice a month for a little while I've been getting little visual sessions every night before bed.
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