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SpecialEd
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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: CodeLion]
#19482228 - 01/27/14 04:32 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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6.
Wiggles...
He's in his forties or fifties, you're not sure... you see him around town at casinos and pawn shops about as often as you see him at your dealers house. Which was where you met him. He was wigging out so bad that out of concern for a near perfect stranger's well being, you offered him a Xanax bar to help him settle down.
"No thanks buddy, I just shot a quarter gram, I want to be able to feel it."
Okay buddy, as long as you know what you're doing.
It's hard to tell what wiggles deal is. Some days he seems ate up out of his mind, other days he's on the ball and you think he must have just been tired last time. He's always willing to take a look at your gear and comment on it without wanting to bum any. One time you and your friend were leaving the casino after winning 5,000 dollars and he jumped out from behind a car and scared the shit out of you two. And needed a ride a couple blocks over. Sometimes you see him looking strangley confident and content with his lot in life, like he has figured out a secret to life that everyone else in the game has overlooked.
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SpecialEd
+ one

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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: SpecialEd]
#19482294 - 01/27/14 04:45 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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7.
The foreigner who deals in stolen property...
This guys is a trip, he's obviously immigrated to the united states from Africa on a student visa and then just went on the run. He's smart as shit, and is new to stimulants and African-American gansta culture. So he has a funny nickname, something like a cross between a stripper name and a rapper name.
Sometimes shit's dry and as a last resort you call him up but you never spend more than 40 dollars as a rule. Half the time you get ripped off, but you never know if he did it on purpose or was oblivious.
So you go to his hotel room and grit your teeth and get thru his sales pitches. "I give u cash and shit for a freshly stolen credit card."
"It's good shit too, oh shit, I had five bags of shit and four pills, I loose two pils and a bag, you help me find it."
You let out a groan because he does this shit every time. And you know that as soon as you start looking around the hotel room, he's going to realize that you're keeping any crystal or oxy that you find, and commands you to freeze and stop looking. But if you don't help him look he's going to get offended.
He's pretty butthurt that you only have thirty dollars to your name even though your spending all of it on his shit, so after you buy your drugs, the stolen property auction begins.
"Right now, how much you give me for this car amp."
"Look congo, I don't have any money."
"No, right now, how much will you give me for this, plus a dvd player."
"Oh, right now? I've got three hundred dollars in my sock, hold on..."
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SpecialEd
+ one

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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: SpecialEd]
#19482417 - 01/27/14 05:16 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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8.
The teenaged lesbian oxy hookup.
So anybody who's been in the pill game in any major city in the united states has often wondered out loud, pondered and puzzled over, and discussed with their friends, why, why is it that if you want to buy oxy pills you have to go through a teenaged lesbian.
You realize it's because their mom and dad are both pain patients, but you often wonder why people broken backs who are dying of cancer struggle to get more than 45 tylenol 3's a month, but Momma lesbian, who you saw on Jerry Springer last month, get's 1500 roxy 30's, 270 OP 80's, 580 methadone 10's, and 240 xanax 2 mg pills a month for body pains associated with crack use.
Everything about these lesbians sketches you the fuck out, they grew up in chaos to drug addicted parents, and to them that's the norm. Everytime you deal with them is a fifty fifty shot of getting hemmed up. Last two times you met them, they were being tailed by jumpout vans. But you're addicted to pills so you put up with their shit.
Also though, despite the fact that they make over 6 figures a year selling their prescriptions and are collecting social security, disability, and are living off a settlement from their last prison stint, they are always hard up for cash, and for some reason can't find marijuana. So they are always offering you these crazy deals...
"Look, if you lend us 100 dollars so we can go to the doctor tomorrow, we'll give you 20 roxies and toss you a couple dones tomorrow, and we'll leave our newborn daughter as collateral."
"Hey I'll give you 10 roxy 30's for a half ounce of brick weed, RIGHT NOW!"
You really hate your addiction to pain pills because you have to deal with these lesbians. The feds have been building a case against them and you now have an FBI number and surveilance file.
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SpecialEd
+ one

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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: SpecialEd]
#19482505 - 01/27/14 05:39 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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9. The scrapper
This guy either lives in a shack behind his mom's house, or lives in a condemned house that he is not legally allowed to be in until he pays his tax and utility bills. You know for a fact it's not fit for occupancy because you have seen people arrested for trespassing when the cops caught them leaving the house.
But he's a genius mechanic, a jack of all trades, and above all, a scrapper. Offer him any type of honest work and he'll turn down your proposal. But tell him you'll give him five bucks and a quarter gram, and he'll drive 60 miles round trip and do 300 hundred dollars of mechanic labor on your broke down car. And amazingly fix your car on the fly no matter what is wrong with it.
Offer him twenty dollars and he'll gladly drive you to any drug deal of any size at any time of the day.
You're impressed, he blows his own meth pipes out of test tubes you found in the trash. He makes pretty good money cashing in pallets, cans, and scrap metal by the ton.
It blows your mind how many catallitic converters, copper gutters, radiators, refigerators, and copper pipes that he finds in the trash while he dumpster dives for scrap metal. Last week he found a set of rims in the trash that he sold on craigslist for 300 dollars.
You go over their one night for a half gram, and when you go to leave, you turn your car on and it starts running 10 times as loud, like there is a hole in your exhaust...
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE



Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: SpecialEd]
#19482527 - 01/27/14 05:45 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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I like The Scrapper. These obviously don't fit into my plot but i'm digging the creativity.
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SpecialEd
+ one

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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: ModestMouse]
#19482552 - 01/27/14 05:48 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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yeah you definately inspired me...i realized i was straying from the template of people you smoke pot and trip with into the uglier (although funnier and more exciting, with more tragic and severe consequences) world of hard drugs and narcotics.
Technically, they are still people you will meet on the couch, whether your living on theirs or them on yours, but I must say, there was no real creativity on my part, just straight reporting lol.
I'd like to here some other people's contributions lol.
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE



Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: SpecialEd]
#19482570 - 01/27/14 05:52 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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Yeah I don't see a problem with it, it's actually unfortunate that I don't encounter your "crowd" more often, because I'd love to be able to write up a convincing meth or heroin character. As of now, I can't. Which may or may not be why my entries are becoming more spaced out over time. Maybe I will take the best of what you've written and combine it into a character that I find something interesting in. Although writing a character I have never met will be tough. hmm...
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SpecialEd
+ one

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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: ModestMouse]
#19482598 - 01/27/14 05:58 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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let me write up some more stories, every convincing heroin addicted girl prostitues themselves on backpage for example...not sure if you knew that lol.
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SpecialEd
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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: SpecialEd]
#19482650 - 01/27/14 06:14 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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10. The guy with an anger problem and ten to spend in the pen...
You meet this guy and realize that he's og. He likes to pull his shotgun out of the couch during arguments with customers over chump change.
You'd tell the guy in front of you to shut up and quit holding up the line, but you can tell that the dealer is enjoying the altercation too much.
He's obviously done steroids and hard time, you can tell by the muscles, tattoos, and the stories he tells you about dealing heroin and steroids in state prison. He's in his forties, lives with mom, skipped bail in new mexico on his second to latest meth distribution case, and everything he says and does gives the indication that he's "family."
"Look man, every hundred dollars in business you bring me, I'll give you a half gram..."
"Look, I'm going to reup right now, give me 80 bucks for a gram right now, and I'll give you a quarter gram when I get back and a half gram next time I reup, if I get that extra twenty bucks from you I can get two zips RIGHT NOW..."
Against your better judgement, you continue dealing with him, because he lives down the street from you and his meth feels like ecstasy and opiates combined, you've never seen heisenburg shit like this accept for that blue stuff on the television show Breaking Bad...
So it comes time to collect your free half gram and you go over there. He's breaking apart a 7 gram rock and drops half of it on his desk and little shards go flying all over the floor...
"Well my bag just got smaller, check this out."
He then starts yelling at the top of his lungs for his step dad to get down there, he's got a job for him. It takes a minute, because his step dad is in his sixties and has a spinal condition and needs a walker.
"Hey if you get on your hands and knees and crawl under my desk there's a bunch of crumbs in the carpet, you might be able to get yourself a free quarter gram."
The stepdad objects, explaining his physical condition and how sometimes the meds work better than other days, but a verbal altercation keeps escalating between the two. You are expecting a fight until your dealer turns around and gives you the I'm just fucking with this guy look. HILARIOUS
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Edited by SpecialEd (01/27/14 10:51 PM)
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SpecialEd
+ one

Registered: 01/30/03
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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: SpecialEd]
#19482728 - 01/27/14 06:30 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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actually, after reading my entries today, here is the best advice I can give you for a convincing meth or heroin junky...
make sure you describe and include their SENSE OF URGENCY...
they need stuff RIGHT NOW...
everybody who does business with them capitalizes on this by being instock with cash to front, lighters, packs of cigarrettes, a running car, etc, etc.
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r00tuuu123
Now I'm just really piseed



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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: r00tuuu123]
#19482803 - 01/27/14 06:43 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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Quote:
r00tuuu123 said: Mouse you forgot the mean sarcastic ass/Dickhead that tells the others to shut the fuck up or just plain punches them dead in the face. He's my favorite.
Mouse WTF do I have to write myself? I wanna see how close ya get. I'll get ya started picture a death Lemmy with a piss poor attitude.
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SpecialEd
+ one

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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: SpecialEd]
#19482847 - 01/27/14 06:53 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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11. Uncle Reemus
Uncle Reemus in the black uncle you never had. It's not his place to preach or instill, he just tells you what he he has observed over his 45 years in the hood and the game, the game of life. He's the black version of your dad and you actually listen to what he says because it's wise, makes sense, he doesn't push the issue, and he casts his pearls while you roll bowls of meth, and you never really have to match him, just give him rides and help him sell pills and occasionally hook his babies momma up with weed.
The only down side of Uncle Reemus is that he throws gasoline on the fire that is his exprostitute drama queen wife. She belittles him for being black and a crack head, and he makes fun of her for being a whore and occasionally he accuses you of stealing his wifes pussy, renting out your bedroom to his wife so she can escort, and he has accused you and all of your friends of having threesomes with his wife.
Just like everyone else in your life, they are too much to handle, but you make so much money dealing with them that you put up with their shit. Plus some of the things Uncle Reemus and his wife say to each other is the funniest stuff you have ever heard.
"Where's your brillo pad at chore boy? Fuckin Crackhead, negro family, SpecialEd, did you know that Reemus's family used to deal crack out of a hole in the fence???"
"Look at Uncle Reemus sucking the glass dick, did you know he assrapes me?" etc etc etc.
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Edited by SpecialEd (01/27/14 10:52 PM)
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i like cow poo
Nature Lover


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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: SpecialEd]
#19482987 - 01/27/14 07:13 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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lol you've met some fucked up people!
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SpecialEd
+ one

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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: i like cow poo]
#19483333 - 01/27/14 08:10 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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12. The guy that's trying too hard...
So this guy is new to town, but not new to the scene. Give him any opportunity and he'll tell you he invented drug dealing and the game. He's eager to meet new people and burst onto the scene, so he's a good person to deal with at the moment.
He finds out you can get roxies and wants three of them...you're looking for shit which he just so happens to have. He'll sell you a half gram for forty bucks but he wants three roxy thirties at twenty bucks a piece.
You meet up with him ten minutes later at chucky cheese's...
He starts lecturing you about how real he is and how he hopes you are as real as you say you are. Then shrugs it off, "I feel like I have to say that to people."
So he shows you the half gram shard, and it looks fire, you say, well I owe you forty and you owe me sixty, let's just exchange and you give me a twenty...
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"
"Whatsup now?"
"I have rules that I keep to keep my money right. I don't do trades like that, it fucks the money up."
"I see," you say while you think what a fucking jackass this guy is. But you need the money and drugs and you still got plenty of oxy's at home. You realize you're going to have to treat him like a woman or a kid... "Well then, can I sell you your oxy's for sixty bucks first, and then use forty dollars of the money you give me to buy the half gram."
"Yeah that's cool."
This guy is profitable enough to deal with that you continue on until he gets caught up and weed, meth, and gun charges.
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SpecialEd
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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: i like cow poo]
#19483365 - 01/27/14 08:19 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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Quote:
i like cow poo said: lol you've met some fucked up people!
if i could recollect about my hood days, I'd sit and reminisce, thinking in a bliss of the good days.
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Does

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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: SpecialEd]
#19483469 - 01/27/14 08:39 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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coolcoolcoolgoodwork keep it up!
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SpecialEd
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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: Does]
#19483547 - 01/27/14 08:57 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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The Jack Boy.
So you've been posted up at the same hotel for about a week too long, and to make matters worse, you're friend had mexicans over twice the night before to re up while you were asleep.
These mexicans are heavy on the weight and fucking crazy, you're friend wasn't really trying to get anything on front street, because he knows that should anything happen and he can't pay them back the next day, bad shit is going to happen.
Well these cholos pushed more weight on him than he wanted or could safely deal with, but the debt was paid down to where 40 dollars was left but you guys still had over a 7 to work with.
Until your hotel door gets kicked in at midnight and mexicans have seized control in what is a hostile takeover.
The spokesperson of the group explains that your buddy owes them A BILL RIGHT NOW, and that he doesn't give a fuck about going to prison, that your buddy has put you and everyone in the room in a fucked up situation and if you can't save your friend by paying off his now inflated 100 dollar debt, bad shit is going to happen.
Guns are out, these guys look too professional and bone chilling to even think about fucking with, and the way they control the room, gather up everyone's cell phones and threaten you while at the same time being level headed and respectful is just two much. You give them 250 dollars in dope because that's all you have and hope that they are satisfied and leave you alone.
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morrowasted
Worldwide Stepper



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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: SpecialEd]
#19483552 - 01/27/14 08:58 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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13. me
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SpecialEd
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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: morrowasted]
#19483560 - 01/27/14 09:00 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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Psychman1
Open the mind


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Re: The Twelve People You Meet on the Couch [Re: SpecialEd]
#19483617 - 01/27/14 09:10 PM (10 years, 28 days ago) |
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lol, true in many ways. Good Read
-------------------- The molecule with miracles- alex gray
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