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Offlinebluegill
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How to tell wife about first grow * 1
    #19333087 - 12/27/13 01:51 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

In a nutshell, here's kinda what happened and how I started growing.

My wife has experience with psychoactives, but decided to stop a few years before we met. One night we talked about drugs in general and I mentioned I wanted to grow/try shrooms. She was enthusiastic about it - said they are fun, she wants me to experience it, she wants to trip sit for me, and she would even do them with me. But the following week, she freaked out when she saw me reading PF tek because she never expected me to do anything like that and she wanted me to limit myself. We got into an argument about it.

I didn't hesitate to order everything I needed to start growing - I did not tell her, either. She stopped worrying and eventually forgot about it. At this point, I have 10 BRF jars colonizing, 2-3 of them will be reading to birth in the next week. I'm getting ready to construct the FC and in the meantime I've been thinking about how to reveal all this to my oblivious wife, because it's hard to conceal a FC and get good results, according to what I read on the boards.

Initially, what I wanted out of this was to be able to grow all on my own, conceal the process and keep it a secret until the time was ready. I wanted to try a light dose alone the first time -- with aborts or a few from the first flush. I wanted to have that first experience, and THEN share it with my wife, and then have her sit in with me. I don't think it's possible anymore, though. It's hard to hide something like this from somebody you live with.

I really don't know how to bring it up with her or what even to say. I don't know when, either! Last week I had the perfect opportunity, but chose not to; we were at a local concert and the conversation led back to drugs/shrooms - she actually said she was thinking about asking a friends to get some the next time we visit (although, that would be a long time from now because they live far away). My mind was screaming. I wanted to say, "You don't need to worry about that, babe. We have shrooms growing out of the kitchen cabinet." but I kept my mouth shut. At least I know she's cool with the whole idea of it again.

Any advice on how to approach this? I want to reveal it in a way that will not overwhelm her and freak her out again.


--------------------
"Psychedelics are like carnival tickets, you buy the ticket and take the ride, then you get off and go home. What your talking about is physical death. That's when you're pulled into the carnival against your will and your stuck there for eternity."


Edited by bluegill (12/27/13 02:01 PM)


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: How to tell wife about first grow [Re: bluegill]
    #19333336 - 12/27/13 03:12 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Didn't read the post, only the title.

Rule 1: DON'T TELL ANYBODY


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OfflineEllis Dee
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Re: How to tell wife about first grow [Re: bluegill]
    #19333560 - 12/27/13 04:27 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Search "neglect tek". You can conceal everything and fruit invitro. I've done it myself years ago. A controversial guy named hippi3 who went on to found mycotopia pioneered this tek, but its great, and made for people like you you need discretion above all else.


--------------------
"If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do."-King Solomon

And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels,


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Invisibleaw11driver
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Re: How to tell wife about first grow [Re: Ellis Dee]
    #19333724 - 12/27/13 05:20 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Lol I did the same thing. I only did 5 jars and i did the "poor mans" tek using 2 liter bottles and put them in a box in the closet. I got  maybe 1 flush before i got busted misting/fanning. I then said "now you know you think you can fan and mist while im at work?" that was a no but she let me keep em once i told her they were safer than what i could find on the street.


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Offlinech1ck3n.s0up
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Re: How to tell wife about first grow [Re: aw11driver]
    #19334045 - 12/27/13 06:40 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)



--------------------

"Inspiration ~ Move me brightly ~ light the song with sense and color ~ hold away despair ~ more than this I will not ask ~ faced with mysteries dark and vast ~ statements just seem vain at last" --Jerry Garcia, Terrapin Station

"Officer, I'm going to remain silent, and I would like to speak with a lawyer. I'm not resisting, but I don't consent to any searches.


Edited by ch1ck3n.s0up (12/27/13 06:50 PM)


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OfflineScarab74
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Re: How to tell wife about first grow [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
    #19334138 - 12/27/13 07:08 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

:facepalm3:

As a wife and a grower, I have to tell you, there is nothing you can hide from your spouse.  She probably already knows what's up, dropped the hint at that concert, and is waiting for you to come clean.

That said, invite her to bless and love your little babies and they will be fruitful and multiply!


--------------------
~Scarab74
We are such stuff as dreams are made of.
                W. Shakespeare - The Tempest


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: How to tell wife about first grow [Re: Scarab74] * 1
    #19334169 - 12/27/13 07:24 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Scarab74 said:
:facepalm3:

As a wife and a grower, I have to tell you, there is nothing you can hide from your spouse.  She probably already knows what's up, dropped the hint at that concert, and is waiting for you to come clean.

That said, invite her to bless and love your little babies and they will be fruitful and multiply!




Until his wife mentions anything, assume she don't know. Don't tell her either.


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OfflineNotfromarkansas
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Re: How to tell wife about first grow [Re: Patlal]
    #19334205 - 12/27/13 07:36 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Im growing magic mushrooms bitch deal with it. Done!


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Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
Re: How to tell wife about first grow [Re: bluegill]
    #19335732 - 12/28/13 06:19 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

bluegill said:
At least I know she's cool with the whole idea of it again.




No, you don't. There's quite a difference between trying shrooms out of curiosity and growing them in your home. You decided on your own to do this and not tell your wife. The way I see it, that's not a very smart move. You live together and bear the joint responsibility for what goes on in your household. You went and did something illegal which you knew (or at least suspected) your wife to be very uncomfortable with. Basically, you violated the trust between the two of you. Now you're stuck with two options: make sure she'll never know, or come clean and face the consequences of her being disappointed and/or angry. I can't say which would be best; I'd probably opt for number 2, but you will have to accept the possibility that she'll demand you abort the project.

Sometimes, you can't have it all and you have to compromise. And so has your wife. The problem is that you didn't wait for that and just went ahead and did what you wanted to do. It would be daft to expect your wife to be totally fine with it now. It seems to me that the best thing you can do now is to sit her down, talk things through, find out why you want to grow shrooms so badly and she doesn't want you to (or freaked out earlier) and see if you can work something out that fits the wants and needs of the both of you.


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OfflineShpongle1
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Re: How to tell wife about first grow [Re: koraks]
    #19339135 - 12/28/13 09:50 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I would never keep growing mushrooms from a wife (if I had one), to me that seems ludicrous.  I wouldn't want my wife hiding some action or behavior of hers from me because she thought I'd be mad at her for it.  To be quite honest, I consider that lying.  If you can't trust your spouse to be mature enough to be understanding of the fact that you're going to grow psilocybin mushrooms, and NOT speak of it to someone else or rat you out, then that is just sad.  (this is not directed at OP, but at the people saying "DONT TELL HER, NEVER!" and all of this crazy shit.)

Maybe I don't understand how a lot of people's relationships work but that shit is just madness if you can't trust your WIFE with something as trivial as that, jesus...


--------------------





There are more people imprisoned for the commission of drug offenses in the United States - close to 500,000 - than are incarcerated in England, France, Germany, and Japan for all crimes combined.  Examined in another way, the United States has 100,000 more people incarcerated for nonviolent drug offenses than all the countries of the European Union combined, despite the fact that the European Union has 100 million more citizens. :crankey: 

- "Drugs and Drug Policy: The Control of Consciousness Alteration, 2007.


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Offlinebluegill
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Re: How to tell wife about first grow [Re: Shpongle1]
    #19339374 - 12/28/13 10:43 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

So, how shall I tell her?


--------------------
"Psychedelics are like carnival tickets, you buy the ticket and take the ride, then you get off and go home. What your talking about is physical death. That's when you're pulled into the carnival against your will and your stuck there for eternity."


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Invisiblepwnasaurus
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Re: How to tell wife about first grow [Re: Shpongle1]
    #19339687 - 12/29/13 12:13 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Shpongle1 said:
I would never keep growing mushrooms from a wife (if I had one), to me that seems ludicrous.  I wouldn't want my wife hiding some action or behavior of hers from me because she thought I'd be mad at her for it.  To be quite honest, I consider that lying.  If you can't trust your spouse to be mature enough to be understanding of the fact that you're going to grow psilocybin mushrooms, and NOT speak of it to someone else or rat you out, then that is just sad.  (this is not directed at OP, but at the people saying "DONT TELL HER, NEVER!" and all of this crazy shit.)

Maybe I don't understand how a lot of people's relationships work but that shit is just madness if you can't trust your WIFE with something as trivial as that, jesus...



I completely agree.  Seems insane to me.  As koraks said, you have clearly and intentionally violated her trust.  There's no magical way to tell her that will guarantee she doesn't get upset.  If you were in her shoes, would you be upset?  I sure as hell would.  Breach of trust and lack of honest communication are the biggest killers of relationships IME.


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OfflineShpongle1
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Re: How to tell wife about first grow [Re: bluegill]
    #19339704 - 12/29/13 12:18 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I don't know, only you know what your relationship with your wife is like.  If I were ever to be married to someone, they would already know that I like to trip on occasion and will do so every now and then, and probably grow mushrooms every now and then as well, etc so it wouldn't be an issue for me.  I probably wouldn't even make it a thing like "Oh yeah, I'm going to do this..." 

I would just do my thing and they'd be aware of it and it wouldn't be hidden or awkward or sketchy or anything.  Just like it wouldn't be awkward if I wanted a sandwich and went out to the kitchen and made myself one.  I wouldn't approach my wife and sit down with a serious look on my face and tell her I've got a craving for a sandwich.

This approach is already lost as you went about it in secret.  Now what you have to deal with is not the fact that you decided you were/are going to grow mushrooms, but that you HID the fact that you went and did it.  Long story short, I really don't know your relationship with your wife.  I can't relate to it because I'm pretty honest with my girlfriends.  It takes me a while to get close/intimate with a girl on that level, so once I do, I'm comfortable being open about whatever.  No hiding shit cause they already know me and I know they already like what I'm about.


--------------------





There are more people imprisoned for the commission of drug offenses in the United States - close to 500,000 - than are incarcerated in England, France, Germany, and Japan for all crimes combined.  Examined in another way, the United States has 100,000 more people incarcerated for nonviolent drug offenses than all the countries of the European Union combined, despite the fact that the European Union has 100 million more citizens. :crankey: 

- "Drugs and Drug Policy: The Control of Consciousness Alteration, 2007.


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InvisibleGreendreams

Registered: 01/07/08
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Re: How to tell wife about first grow *DELETED* [Re: Patlal]
    #19344094 - 12/29/13 11:02 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Post deleted by Greendreams

Reason for deletion: .


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Offlinebluegill
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Re: How to tell wife about first grow [Re: Greendreams]
    #19419611 - 01/14/14 08:52 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

So after harvesting one cake and going on my first trip, I told my wife and she freaked the fuck out. She kept saying it was because I hid it from her for a month and it had nothing to do with the mushrooms and that she was ok with them and that she actually thought it would be nice to do them with me.

Well 5 days later, and all she has done is make me believe that it was infact the shrooms she was pissed about and she is still insulting me. She spent her entire youth experimenting with drugs and I went on ONE MUSHROOM trip from a small dose out of my 10 BRF cakes and she is literally treating me like I am a heroin addict and I have a meth lab set up in the apartment. She keeps making fun of me, interrogating me, and pointing out all of her concerns. I keep asking her if she just wants me to throw it all out and she won't give me a straight answer. It's driving me crazy. Her behavior indicates that I should throw everything out and stop, she tells me not to, and I am completely willing to do either!

I actually just decided, fuck it, I am just going to throw everything away, and when I was about to, she obstructed my way and started saying "Oh, so once by yourself was enough, huh?" Honestly, the way she is reacting to all this is building up resentment on my part.

It's making me really anxious and I have nothing but regret about all of this now. I thought she wanted to help me out with this. There is no way in hell I am going to trip with her around because all she does is give me anxiety and uncomfortable emotions.


--------------------
"Psychedelics are like carnival tickets, you buy the ticket and take the ride, then you get off and go home. What your talking about is physical death. That's when you're pulled into the carnival against your will and your stuck there for eternity."


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Invisiblepwnasaurus
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Re: How to tell wife about first grow [Re: bluegill]
    #19419650 - 01/14/14 08:58 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

We told you this would happen.  You hid the fact that you manufacturing highly illegal drugs in the house that you both reside in.  You risked putting her in jail for many years and she had absolutely no knowledge or say in the matter.  Every single person in this thread told you she would be upset when you told her and lo and behold - she's upset.

You have completely breached her trust akin to cheating on her.  You think it's going to take a couple of days to earn that back?  She's clearly hurt AND upset.  Rightfully so.

You fucked up bad man.  You may have possibly ruined your marriage.


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Offlinebluegill
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Re: How to tell wife about first grow [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #19419838 - 01/14/14 09:38 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

So why in the fuck won't she let me throw everything away?

I must be going crazy.


--------------------
"Psychedelics are like carnival tickets, you buy the ticket and take the ride, then you get off and go home. What your talking about is physical death. That's when you're pulled into the carnival against your will and your stuck there for eternity."


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OfflineShpongle1
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Re: How to tell wife about first grow [Re: bluegill] * 2
    #19419917 - 01/14/14 09:59 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Because dude, the damage is done.  "The damage" being the fact that she now understands that you are willing to hide things from her and deceitfully do things behind her back without her knowledge.  She probably doesn't want you to throw them away because she loves you and knows that you're interested in it as an experience or a hobby or both and doesn't want you to lose everything you've done so far.  But at the same time she is pissed at you for being an asshole. 

Also, if you really wanted to throw everything away, you could and would have done so.  So acting like she's crazy because she "won't let you" is pretty ridiculous.  She didn't "let you" grow them in the first place but you did it, didn't you?  I doubt there is any point in throwing everything away because as she seems to have said before and is implying now, the mushrooms aren't the problem.  It's the way you sneakily and immaturely handled it that she's (rightfully) upset about.


Quote:

bluegill said:
Honestly, the way she is reacting to all this is building up resentment on my part.

There is no way in hell I am going to trip with her around because all she does is give me anxiety and uncomfortable emotions.





Poor you, with your anxiety and uncomfortable emotions.  Your bitch of a wife is upset that her husband is intentionally hiding manufacture of illegal things in her residence.  Next time, grow up, and talk to her like a man.  Like a husband talking to his wife.  And I don't mean that in any type of "take control, do what you want regardless of what she says" bs way.  But be mature enough to have a conversation with the person you swore an oath to and decided to spend your life with.

Jesus man.  People make shit so much more complicated for themselves, it blows my mind.


--------------------





There are more people imprisoned for the commission of drug offenses in the United States - close to 500,000 - than are incarcerated in England, France, Germany, and Japan for all crimes combined.  Examined in another way, the United States has 100,000 more people incarcerated for nonviolent drug offenses than all the countries of the European Union combined, despite the fact that the European Union has 100 million more citizens. :crankey: 

- "Drugs and Drug Policy: The Control of Consciousness Alteration, 2007.


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Offlinebluegill
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Re: How to tell wife about first grow [Re: Shpongle1]
    #19420358 - 01/14/14 11:29 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Shpongle1 said:
Because dude, the damage is done.  "The damage" being the fact that she now understands that you are willing to hide things from her and deceitfully do things behind her back without her knowledge.  She probably doesn't want you to throw them away because she loves you and knows that you're interested in it as an experience or a hobby or both and doesn't want you to lose everything you've done so far.  But at the same time she is pissed at you for being an asshole.




You're right about the damage.

Honestly, I have enough things going on in my life that give me anxiety and stress me out. The relationship has been rocky for a good while now and this definitely made things way worse. I am so desperate to let go of some of that stress that I'm willing to toss the whole project out the window and kiss everything goodbye forever even for a moment of sanity.

She thinks I am selfish because I "got what I wanted" when I went on a trip by myself (I did not!) and now I don't want to do it with her (YES I DO). It's driving me crazy. I just got done explaining that I am ready to dump the whole fucking thing just so she will stop treating me like a meth fiend and it's like we're not understanding each other. I ask her what I should do - keep it or throw it away. She tells me I can do whatever I want. I keep it going for a few days, she is upset about it, I attempt to throw it away, she is upset about it. I am losing contorl of everything and I'm going insane.

Quote:

Shpongle1 said:Also, if you really wanted to throw everything away, you could and would have done so.  So acting like she's crazy because she "won't let you" is pretty ridiculous.




Honestly, at this point I am so stressed out that I don't give a fuck about the project anymore. I feel like forgetting about the cakes in the FC and the cakes dunking in the fridge. I feel like neglecting it. At the same time, the way she responded when I told her I'm done because it's stressing me out, her response made me really paranoid. It seems like she would be more upset if I threw them out. Is it reverse psychology? I don't know what to do.

Quote:

Shpongle1 said:
  She didn't "let you" grow them in the first place but you did it, didn't you?  I doubt there is any point in throwing everything away because as she seems to have said before and is implying now, the mushrooms aren't the problem.  It's the way you sneakily and immaturely handled it that she's (rightfully) upset about.




I understand she is upset and I am remorseful about my actions and apologized. What are you suggesting, sir? Should I sneak behind her back and throw them out now? Would that be immature? I don't know what the fuck to do.

Quote:

Shpongle1 said:Poor you, with your anxiety and uncomfortable emotions.  Your bitch of a wife is upset that her husband is intentionally hiding manufacture of illegal things in her residence.  Next time, grow up, and talk to her like a man.  Like a husband talking to his wife.  And I don't mean that in any type of "take control, do what you want regardless of what she says" bs way.  But be mature enough to have a conversation with the person you swore an oath to and decided to spend your life with.




We did talk about it. She agreed to it. It's not like she was against it or something. She said she wanted to do them with me.


Edited by bluegill (01/14/14 11:40 PM)


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OfflineShpongle1
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Re: How to tell wife about first grow [Re: bluegill]
    #19421563 - 01/15/14 06:57 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Exactly.  She said she wanted to do them with you.  So not only did you grow them behind her back, you acted like you grew them "for her" so that you both could do them together.  But once you grew them, you decided to go trip by yourself, leaving her in the dark, yet another totally selfish move.


--------------------





There are more people imprisoned for the commission of drug offenses in the United States - close to 500,000 - than are incarcerated in England, France, Germany, and Japan for all crimes combined.  Examined in another way, the United States has 100,000 more people incarcerated for nonviolent drug offenses than all the countries of the European Union combined, despite the fact that the European Union has 100 million more citizens. :crankey: 

- "Drugs and Drug Policy: The Control of Consciousness Alteration, 2007.


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