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Anonymous #1
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Here's some pictures of me flushing drugs
#19406820 - 01/12/14 03:57 AM (10 years, 19 days ago) |
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I don't exactly know where to begin with all of this so I'm just gonna post whatever comes to mind. Basically, I've been on this website since I was 15-maybe even 14. I've been interested in different states of consciousness since I was a pre-teen and I remember listening to music-meditating to the music and feeling wonderfully elated. I was only 11-13 and thought I was the only one who ever felt these feelings. My music teacher was never on the same level. My classmates were 11. They didn't feel anything like I did. and I didn't know any adults who could relate.
I remember one specific day where I was hanging out with friends and I was sleepy so I took a nap out in the sun while I was listening to music. When I woke up, I was completely elated. It was like a veil had been lifted and I was perfectly content sitting right where I was. I was experiencing the now and I felt like I was in an entirely different plane from everyone. This only lasted about 20 minutes or so and I feel like a lot of my life has been me trying to get back to that state. I specifically remember being in that state and thinking "this must be what weed feels like"
I asked around and looked for pot and found some my last day of 8th grade. Needless to say, weed felt nothing like that serene moment. I feel like everything I've done since then has been me trying to find that moment again. I've eaten healthy, meditate, done drugs, exercised, and read a bunch about drugs, buddhism, and altered state of consciousness.
I've been looking for a panacea to take away all my problems and help me feel that way and I think it's made me depressed in the process. That's what most of my being on this site has been-me looking for a one-size-fits-all solution.
So I flushed all of my drugs. They've been fun and I've learned a lot of things from them but it's not worth having a fucking collection and always being on the wrong side of the law-and feeling anxious. or profiting from the people I truly love. Or being secretive and hiding my usage from people.
Psychedelics will always be there if I want them.
Also, mental illnesses like schizophrenia, psychosis, and whatever else come to light in early adulthood-which is exactly where I'm at. Schizophrenics also tend to be obsessed with drugs and esoteric religions,
Anyways, if you have any advice, I'm open to it. Right now, I'm going to give the money my friends spent on drugs back to them and tell them how much I love them. I'm also going to go see a therapist, psychiatrist or a buddhist monk or something. I'd appreciate some advice in that regard too. Also, I need to quit using this site despite how helpful and hurtful the knowledge I've gained from using it has been. I need to find more outside activities to occupy my time though so I don't slip up and come back here. I also need to be mindful of myself when I'm sitting alone somewhere, bored, and get on here from my phone.
Here's the pictures of drugs in the toilet if that's what you want. Cubes, 2 types of gyms, mxe, a tiny bit of mdma in some dried up capsules, vyvanse, 25i, and some acid gummybears. I know the water supply will loathe me but whatever.
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Caddilac
(*'


Registered: 11/19/13
Posts: 469
Loc: WY.
Last seen: 5 years, 7 months
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Re: Here's some pictures of me flushing drugs [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19406846 - 01/12/14 04:11 AM (10 years, 19 days ago) |
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get laid to the fullest most exsauhsting way possible with the hottest love of your life.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Here's some pictures of me flushing drugs [Re: Caddilac]
#19406853 - 01/12/14 04:16 AM (10 years, 19 days ago) |
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I don't really have a desire to
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Forest Sprite
fuck you

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 817
Loc: asdf
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Re: Here's some pictures of me flushing drugs [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19407119 - 01/12/14 06:51 AM (10 years, 19 days ago) |
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What the fuck man? I totally understand that you want to move on with life and go beyond drugs.... but don't you think it would've been better to give all that stuff to your friends instead of flushing it and wasting it? Goddamn. Not everyone just has a shitload of mushrooms at their disposal ya know.
Anyway... good luck on your path.
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sololas
Feel like a Stranger



Registered: 12/26/13
Posts: 476
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: Here's some pictures of me flushing drugs [Re: Forest Sprite]
#19407161 - 01/12/14 07:07 AM (10 years, 19 days ago) |
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Could have sold them and paid for a Psychatrist visit.. To late now, in all honesty I wish you the best of luck in all your endevers...
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


Registered: 11/14/10
Posts: 5,401
Last seen: 1 day, 21 hours
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Re: Here's some pictures of me flushing drugs [Re: sololas]
#19407186 - 01/12/14 07:22 AM (10 years, 19 days ago) |
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I don't know how safe this is and I haven't researched much but...
I know that state that you are talking about. Its like a more real than real feeling of complete calm centered contentedness. Dreamlike.
I have achieved this state willfully using large doses of melatonin at night to induce lucid dream states.
When you wake from the lucid dream you carry some of that magic back into waking life and it feels exactly like what I think you are trying to describe.
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,049
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 5 hours, 13 minutes
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Re: Here's some pictures of me flushing drugs [Re: FishOilTheKid]
#19410511 - 01/12/14 10:50 PM (10 years, 18 days ago) |
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Quote:
Also, mental illnesses like schizophrenia, psychosis, and whatever else come to light in early adulthood-which is exactly where I'm at. Schizophrenics also tend to be obsessed with drugs and esoteric religions,
The schizophrenia causes the obsessions, not the other way around.
--------------------
NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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sololas
Feel like a Stranger



Registered: 12/26/13
Posts: 476
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: Here's some pictures of me flushing drugs [Re: FishOilTheKid]
#19411537 - 01/13/14 08:02 AM (10 years, 18 days ago) |
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Quote:
FishOilTheKid said: I don't know how safe this is and I haven't researched much but...
I know that state that you are talking about. Its like a more real than real feeling of complete calm centered contentedness. Dreamlike.
I have achieved this state willfully using large doses of melatonin at night to induce lucid dream states.
When you wake from the lucid dream you carry some of that magic back into waking life and it feels exactly like what I think you are trying to describe.
Yes I have gone the melatonin way and love my sound sleep it gives me, no more pharmy's for me. I feel great the next day almost rejuvenated which, diazapam,xanax, benzos won't due, alwayd hated the morning trying to shake the residuals from benzos... Try something more natural its not gonna hit you as strong but after a week or so sleep patterns come back with dreams in the morning to get to the state you speak of. Whenever I over sleep I enter my favorite lucid dreams..
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