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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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im sad
#19400960 - 01/10/14 08:13 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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I feel like things will never get better. I feel like sobriety sucks asshole. ALL I want my machine-mind to do is 2 sink into the infinite oblivion the trip offers. I feel like a fish out of water. and I want 2 get laid. shitty weekend the patriots better win tomorrow or im gonna be really pissed. im off the weed. I have bedbug bites all over me and they itch like a motherfucker. my dick is basically dead. I want to trip balls and escape. I have gay ass psych appointments tomorrow that I don't want to go 2. and I want to murder people.
hows your Friday?
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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FruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
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--------------------
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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tell me, WHATS THE POINT 2 BE ALIVE?
I don't see one. I want to die, atleast ill be at peace. can some shroomerites come here and just kill me? that would be nice. im a fucking shameful loser. fuck the weekends they remind me of how pathetic I really am.
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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lot_justice
C.L.I.T. commander



Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 855
Loc: nowhere man
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Sobriety does suck asshole. Go and get some caffeine and masturbate while having a heartfelt conversation with a loved one
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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I don't want 2 masterbate because Ill feel more shameful and gross than I already do. I just sit around drinking redbull and smoking cigs. its fucking boring. I want 2 do some mescaline and smoke dmt. thatd be nice...
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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I feel like everyone knows something and im left out. like everyone can tell what im thinking but for some reason im locked out of their minds. I feel like everyone is just tossing shit on me and I have no choice but 2 accept it so I keep getting shit thrown at me and I accept it because I feel I deserve nothing but shit.
the only good thing about these bad feelings is that I feel I deserve it..im a shitty human with a small dick
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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RavageTheEarth



Registered: 12/28/13
Posts: 630
Loc: OH
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
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Your depressed man and those psych appointments are for the best. If you are open to it they can help you get out of this slump. Sobriety was FUCKING hard at first, but it gets better. Just keep your head up and don't get too lost within the sadness. Life is here. Live it.
-------------------- Crazy... toys in the attic I am craaaazy
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lot_justice
C.L.I.T. commander



Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 855
Loc: nowhere man
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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[mod edit: inappropriate]
Edited by tymoteusz3 (01/10/14 08:50 PM)
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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I'd hold off on all the red bulls if I was you, too much caffeine is bad for you in a lot of ways and very stressful.
Damn dude idk what you're stressing about, talking about how you feel left out and are a loser compared to everyone else. Well humans suck individually and as a collective whole, a lot of people feel the way you do at some point.
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lot_justice
C.L.I.T. commander



Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 855
Loc: nowhere man
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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[mod edit: inappropriate]
Edited by tymoteusz3 (01/10/14 08:50 PM)
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Quote:
lot_justice said: Well you get what you deserve so you better fucking change (and look into male enhancement pills, apparently)
Tell that to 4 year olds dying of starvation while maggots and flies prey on their flesh
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theRAPeutic
Hueman


Registered: 07/22/13
Posts: 8,702
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what about 5 and 6 year olds?
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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fuck off
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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RavageTheEarth



Registered: 12/28/13
Posts: 630
Loc: OH
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
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Quote:
Repertoire89 said:
This holds all the answers you need OP.
-------------------- Crazy... toys in the attic I am craaaazy
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lot_justice
C.L.I.T. commander



Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 855
Loc: nowhere man
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Quote:
Repertoire89 said:
Quote:
lot_justice said: Well you get what you deserve so you better fucking change (and look into male enhancement pills, apparently)
Tell that to 4 year olds dying of starvation while maggots and flies prey on their flesh
There's truths and then there are practical truths. None of those 4 year olds are in this post. I'm talking to Bill
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Quote:
lot_justice said: what are you getting sober off of? Did you have an actual habit or are you zapped because you're not tripping?
im getting clean of 7 years of marijuana abuse and 4 years of heroin abuse. and im not tripping im just smoking the reds and drinking caffeine
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Set
candy colored clown


Registered: 10/03/08
Posts: 6,383
Loc: right near da beach
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Quote:
Bill_Oreilly said: im getting clean of 7 years of marijuana abuse and 4 years of heroin abuse. and im not tripping im just smoking the reds and drinking caffeine
Are you in a recovery program or doing it just because?
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classic LOVELINE
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lot_justice
C.L.I.T. commander



Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 855
Loc: nowhere man
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Have you tried NA? Depending on the city, shit is alright. Sounds like you could use a decent trip though. Hopefully you get your hands on your mescaline and your dmt sometime soon, and hopefully you keep doing good man. I know with ayahuasca they said in a study that it replenished serotonin receptors. I'm wondering if its the dmt in it that caused this. Either way, such a thing would probably be very desirable in a recovering heroin addict.
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Legend
RIP Sasha



Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 28,336
Loc: TX
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Hey bill, my friday nights pretty shit too. I'd like to just take some opiates.
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No sympathy for the devil, keep that in mind. [url=]Buy the ticket, take the ride. [/url]Are you lost?
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Re: im sad [Re: Legend]
#19401092 - 01/10/14 08:46 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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im doing intensive outpatient, im doing psych appointments, counseling meetings for the methadone clinic, and meeting with dcf workers, among some other things. im sick of it ALL and I just want 2 shoot some dope, even though I know it would ruin my life. I just hate everything and everyone. I want to kill.
literally, if there were no laws and I had a gun, I would go on a fucking rampage so help me god I would.
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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didn't you say you were on anti-psychotics? those things kill liveliness and drive people to suicide
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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nope, I stopped taking those because they caused me 2 get into a car accident that caused over 9k 2 my mos car. my life is a fucking WRECK. and NO my anger and depression is not caused from stopping the halidol. if anything, stopping those meds are what keeping me from not just killing myself as we speak. FUCK THOSE THINGS id rather die then take another pill
edit: want to know my problem? I want 2 fuck a hot Asian girl, I want to trip absolute balls, and I want money, and I want medical marijuana. oh ya, and I want to kill some scumbags. I don't know why, but I really want to kill assholes. if I could get those, I could die happy.
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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yeah those pills are the devil's workings. mental health ain't no fun bro i hear ya.
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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I just feel really confused. I feel like everyones playing on the playground and im locked out watching.
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Bologna
yologna

Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 161
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i feel u
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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there's some rhythmic carnival action going on and I'm out in space wondering what the fuck is going on. unless you give me some shrooms and a festival or party where everyone is high and dancing.
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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all I feel is shame guys...all I feel is shame. and it all stems from my dick being different than everyones.
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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I just want to line up a bunch of stupid assholes and put a bullet in em..I promise the shroomery this: if I ever had that opportunity..I WOULDNT EVEN FLINCH
is that so bad???
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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that's just your animal talking
we all got a wild beast that will fuck shit up
some of us just have a harder time containing it
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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its really true though, i wouldn't flinch. i wish a muthafucka would test me on that
but whats funny and always keeps me laughing is this: seeing dennis rodman chill with kim jong un or whatever his name is. that is the definition of hilarious.
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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i need some sleep, thanks shroomery for listening 2 my problems i love you guys forever. goodnight my loves.
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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oh ya, did i mention im a MASSIVE attention whore? jesus i have problems.
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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good night and beware of bubba
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stimpson
a superhero buddha



Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 1,331
Loc: ny
Last seen: 1 month, 5 days
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i know. i know how u feel.
if i were you, i would cut down ur list of things that u want to do. if ur anything like me, u'd cut it down to JUST fuck a hot asian chick. that's probably the hardest thing to do, but also the most legal. plus that'll take a lot of attention.
so... in order to do that, you need a lot of money and you need to get hot. so, try going to the gym and workn out and tanning and stuff. if you get in the habit of exercising daily and drinking coffee, you can get your body to take a big fat shit every single day. and let me tell you something, taking a fat shit every single day is GOOD therapy. it totally helps. u gotta eat right, exercise, and drink coffee though. it's totally healthy, makes ur mood better, makes ur body smell better, makes masturbating easier, etc etc.
u'll also need money. how old are you? old enough to go to college? the highest concentration of asian chicks that are willing to get with white guys are in colleges. i think they get out of college and close off. so... if you can, choose a college with a lot of asian chicks. study something where you can make a lot of money, like engineering, IT or finance, and then get try try try to get with a hot asian!!!
let it be known that i wasted all of my college years being completely ignored by white chicks, lusting after asian chicks, and chillin with black chicks. never got laid once. i'm 29 and still a fuckn virgin (i've hooked up but not penis-in-vagina sex).
also... i hate my fucking life. i'm poor, all my friends are married or have become cliquey retarded twats, i will prolly never get laid, my brother is gay and i'm terrified he is a mormon and follows me around fucking with my life. i don't trust any1. my penis works really well, and i take a shit every day. that's about all that keeps me going.
so... what are we gonna do? i wish you the best... you are prolly in a better position to do better than me ultimately... but i hate this fucking planet and i hate everyone on it too. fuck this place.
-------------------- uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhmmmm... ... ... ok.
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Quote:
Bill_Oreilly said: oh ya, did i mention im a MASSIVE attention whore? jesus i have problems.
Don't stress it man, relax. Deep breathing helps me a lot when I get knotted up, angry and on the point of violence. When that happens I just take a breather, long slow breaths in and out.
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5cruffyMuff
BLVCK SCVLE



Registered: 01/06/14
Posts: 512
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aww bill, dont worry bill this feeling will pass soon you will forget the pains.... listen to this song it might help
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Magicman69
All About the Benjamins



Registered: 05/29/13
Posts: 6,876
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Check out Suboxone OP. New studies are showing Buprenorphine is an anti depressant as well as an opiate substitute. I am clean and sober not even weed, besides my suboxone. When I tried to do it cold turkey and quit everything I felt exactly how you feel right now. I've slowly lowered my sub dose for the past year, and now am on almost nothing and yet feel great. This last year has been one of the most productive, happy, and clean years of my adult life. I highly recommend subs to all opiate addicts who haven't been able to quit on their own in previous attempts. Even once your past the initial Withdrawal, post acute withdrawal can last up to a year. This includes depression. Why suffer for a year when you could take this medicine and taper off it at a rate you are comfortable with?
Edited by Magicman69 (01/10/14 09:40 PM)
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Quote:
stimpson said: i know. i know how u feel.
if i were you, i would cut down ur list of things that u want to do. if ur anything like me, u'd cut it down to JUST fuck a hot asian chick. that's probably the hardest thing to do, but also the most legal. plus that'll take a lot of attention.
so... in order to do that, you need a lot of money and you need to get hot. so, try going to the gym and workn out and tanning and stuff. if you get in the habit of exercising daily and drinking coffee, you can get your body to take a big fat shit every single day. and let me tell you something, taking a fat shit every single day is GOOD therapy. it totally helps. u gotta eat right, exercise, and drink coffee though. it's totally healthy, makes ur mood better, makes ur body smell better, makes masturbating easier, etc etc.
u'll also need money. how old are you? old enough to go to college? the highest concentration of asian chicks that are willing to get with white guys are in colleges. i think they get out of college and close off. so... if you can, choose a college with a lot of asian chicks. study something where you can make a lot of money, like engineering, IT or finance, and then get try try try to get with a hot asian!!!
let it be known that i wasted all of my college years being completely ignored by white chicks, lusting after asian chicks, and chillin with black chicks. never got laid once. i'm 29 and still a fuckn virgin (i've hooked up but not penis-in-vagina sex).
also... i hate my fucking life. i'm poor, all my friends are married or have become cliquey retarded twats, i will prolly never get laid, my brother is gay and i'm terrified he is a mormon and follows me around fucking with my life. i don't trust any1. my penis works really well, and i take a shit every day. that's about all that keeps me going.
so... what are we gonna do? i wish you the best... you are prolly in a better position to do better than me ultimately... but i hate this fucking planet and i hate everyone on it too. fuck this place.
Just because I say what I want doesn't mean I actually care to get those things. I know I don't deserve any of it, and if I don't get any of it I will be just fine. A nigga can dream cant he? that's all im doing here when I mention what I want. im already happy/satisfied with what I have. im just dreamin'
I just REALLY want to be smart. I feel like a fucking retard. I cant do ANYTHING I feel like. I literally feel retarded and im cryin over it. what I need is the truth. why im feeling this way, why im feeling left out, why I feel shameful, blah blah blah ok now goodnight
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 16 days
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sometimes all you want is a rifle and a clock tower.
Today is one of those days, but "this too shall pass"... and the seahawks play tomorrow. so whatever
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k00laid
NEMO


Registered: 05/03/10
Posts: 19,636
Last seen: 6 months, 4 days
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i've been pretty low
but i've never had the urge to kill
can you maybe explain it in a little more detail?
like killing your drug counselors or w/e
that makes sense
but just walking down the street killing rando people?
seems weird
-------------------- AMU - AMU Q & A - MyVideo Teks!
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birdland

Registered: 07/24/11
Posts: 2,202
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The feeling will pass man, though that doesn't make it any less unpleasant while it's there.
There is ultimately no meaning to life, but that means you just get to make your own. Naturally we all struggle with this a bit, but it's not so bad when you find some things that fulfil you.
You could try taking up new things - music, dancing, art, building, craftwork, gardening, camping, computer programming, whatever floats your boat.
Also you really do need to learn to relax; it will help things. Perhaps try meditation and/or breathing exercises.
Don't worry about the future too much, if you can learn to relax and put a bit of direction (taking up new things, etc) in your life everything else will begin to work itself out.
Here's to a better tomorrow
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lot_justice
C.L.I.T. commander



Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 855
Loc: nowhere man
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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You should read some Carlos Castaneda man. You patterns seem like they'd sync up with his personality.
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Quote:
k00laid said: i've been pretty low
but i've never had the urge to kill
can you maybe explain it in a little more detail?
like killing your drug counselors or w/e
that makes sense
but just walking down the street killing rando people?
seems weird
alright. I want to show the people I DONT GIVE A FUCK and that I will kill people at will, and not even flinch. but I want 2 kill BAD people. like total selfish retarded scumbags that only care about money. I have no problems with my counselors or anything, I actually love them because I feel they care about me.
I just want to find the shitty people of the world, line em up, and put a bullet in em. not so much to prove myself really, but just because I feel like I could and not even give 1 fuck about it. I don't know why I have this urge 2 kill, but I would NEVER kill innocent people. that's the key.
its like I have so much built up horniness, anger, and SHAME that I want to put it 2 good use. heh
you need 2 realize I would never go around killing innocent people. I love people, I just hate shitty people. makes sense, right?
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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TheGreenArrow
Goodbye, Mr. Chops.



Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 15,270
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Not at all man. You gotta chill Bill. Don't feed the robot brotha. Just let go of guilt...What is the point man? Senseless guilt has fucked our society for far too long man. Why be a part of that cycle? You've been out there in the screaming abyss. What is the point of anybody going there before their time? Whats talkin there is the lack of that good scag in your veins, that will pass man. You gotta find somebody to help talk you down a little man.
-------------------- A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs
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Krackatus


Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 1,013
Loc: UK
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
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Quote:
Bill_Oreilly said: tell me, WHATS THE POINT 2 BE ALIVE?
Whats the point in being dead? Can't eat tasty burgers or drink milkshakes when I'm dead. Or smoke weed. I agree being alive is kinda pointless given the fact that everything will eventually expire, but I still think its more fun than not existing at all. Just stop giving a shit man. Stop giving a shit, and just start enjoying your life. Tell yourself that you're gonna enjoy this life, or you're gonna die trying. What's there to lose right?
-------------------- "I thought I knew a lot about psychedelics before I encountered DMT... it showed me that I knew virtually nothing." - Terence McKenna
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Quote:
Krackatus said:
Quote:
Bill_Oreilly said: tell me, WHATS THE POINT 2 BE ALIVE?
Whats the point in being dead? Can't eat tasty burgers or drink milkshakes when I'm dead. Or smoke weed. I agree being alive is kinda pointless given the fact that everything will eventually expire, but I still think its more fun than not existing at all. Just stop giving a shit man. Stop giving a shit, and just start enjoying your life. Tell yourself that you're gonna enjoy this life, or you're gonna die trying. What's there to lose right?
its the stress though. im trying 2 hard but I cant help it. I feel like I have his obligation 2 do everything right because nobody around here does. its not that that's even stressing me out...its all the WORK life throws at you. Im trying to take care of a kid that's not mine, trying 2 please a wife that cant be pleased. I want things I cannot have. and I CANNOT STOP THESE REDICULOUS THOUGHTS. its like the ONLY way for me to relax, is 2 dream about the things I know I cannot have. this is why I constantly thing about banging girls I cannot bang, having money I cannot have, smoking weed and tripping that I cant do. its like im substituting these things for dreams. now I know that I cannot have these things, I just dream about them. but I KNOW I DONT DESERVE these things so its making me go crazy that I cannot stop thinking about these things. I hope that makes sense.
its like I just want it ALL, and I know I cannot have it.
the other day I was thinking...like WHY CAN JUSTIN FUCKING BEIBER have it ALL but not me? I try so fucking hard 2 make everyone comfortable, I try so hard in everything I do, I try so hard 2 be right, I think so hard. I feel its for NOTHING. but why can that little shit have everything and not me???? WHY!?
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Quote:
Krackatus said:
Quote:
Bill_Oreilly said: tell me, WHATS THE POINT 2 BE ALIVE?
Whats the point in being dead?
Ill tell you. NO WORRIES WHEN YOURE DEAD. this is why I want to die. and everyone can say "oh just don't give a fuck, easy" well its not that easy for me. I do care. and nobody can stop that, including myself
I want 2 fuck a hot Asian and/or black girl, I want to trip balls on dmt and mushrooms/smoke weed. and I want money. these things will make me so happy. I know I cannot have them so I dream about these things instead. sorry, cant help it. like I said in another thread, I feel like everyone is happy and im just locked out in the cold...shivering trying to smoke a cigarette. I feel like there is no hope and no point 2 be alive. I just want to fucking die. that said, im NOT suicidal. I just would rather be dead right now than alive. you think im afraid 2 die? guess again, pals
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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im covered in this fucking rash that the doctors don't even know what it is...im depressed and angry when it boils down 2 it
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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birdland

Registered: 07/24/11
Posts: 2,202
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Learn to relax, see your councellors, be honest with yourself and others. Just BE PRESENT for fucks sake. Come out of your head more often.
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try so fucking hard 2 make everyone comfortable, I try so hard in everything I do, I try so hard 2 be right, I think so hard.
I'll tell you what would make more comfortable? I'd like you to relax, stop thinking so hard, go out in the sun on a long walk in a big wild park somewhere. Start practising an activity that you enjoy and meet people through it. Or meet people through people you already know if that's easier. If it all else fails and you're still suffering so bad maybe you can reconsider suicide then. 
But if you don't really care about trying so hard to make me comfortable like you claim, you should probably stfu and stop talking out of your ass.
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TheGreenArrow
Goodbye, Mr. Chops.



Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 15,270
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Ya, dont feed the Robot Bill.
-------------------- A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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I made a disgusting habit of putting others before myself. I know, its so wrong. but I feel like such a piece of shit its the only thing that seems 2 help me
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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k00laid
NEMO


Registered: 05/03/10
Posts: 19,636
Last seen: 6 months, 4 days
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Quote:
Bill_Oreilly said: I want to show the people I DONT GIVE A FUCK
you could start by ACTUALLY not giving a fuck.
-------------------- AMU - AMU Q & A - MyVideo Teks!
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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well, my definition of not giving a fuck must be different than others. we all have different definitions n thangz
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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but I hear ya, not giving a fuck is an all-around all-or-nothing thing. its just hard not to give a fuck about innocent children
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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k00laid
NEMO


Registered: 05/03/10
Posts: 19,636
Last seen: 6 months, 4 days
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maybe we do have different definitions
i dont give a fuck about innocent children
that's their parents responsibility
-------------------- AMU - AMU Q & A - MyVideo Teks!
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ManianFH
living in perverty


Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,741
Last seen: 17 minutes, 25 seconds
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Quote:
lot_justice said: Sobriety does suck asshole. Go and get some caffeine and masturbate while having a heartfelt conversation with a loved one
damn i feel so the opposite of this. I am sober by choice and am loving it. I didnt stop using drugs for any reason other than I felt it was time to stop.
Life is wonderful. almost every night I go to bed feeling grateful for the life i have, the comfortable bed im sleeping in, the great food I made and got to eat earlier, all the time I had to practice classical guitar or whatever else i want, to go to the gym, travel the world, etc..
sounds like you just need to find a change of perspective for yourself OP. Life is a blessing, and every moment, even the pretty shitty ones (though im sure we all have a few that could just be tossed into oblivion haha). The shitty ones give the good ones better perspective. I hope you find something to love (there is plenty waiting), and just roll with it, and discover how fun life is.
learn how to cook some awesome food, and start getting some exercise. those are two great ways to start appreciating the time you got here.
-------------------- notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... " ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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