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birdland

Registered: 07/24/11
Posts: 2,202
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The feeling will pass man, though that doesn't make it any less unpleasant while it's there.
There is ultimately no meaning to life, but that means you just get to make your own. Naturally we all struggle with this a bit, but it's not so bad when you find some things that fulfil you.
You could try taking up new things - music, dancing, art, building, craftwork, gardening, camping, computer programming, whatever floats your boat.
Also you really do need to learn to relax; it will help things. Perhaps try meditation and/or breathing exercises.
Don't worry about the future too much, if you can learn to relax and put a bit of direction (taking up new things, etc) in your life everything else will begin to work itself out.
Here's to a better tomorrow
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lot_justice
C.L.I.T. commander



Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 855
Loc: nowhere man
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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You should read some Carlos Castaneda man. You patterns seem like they'd sync up with his personality.
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Quote:
k00laid said: i've been pretty low
but i've never had the urge to kill
can you maybe explain it in a little more detail?
like killing your drug counselors or w/e
that makes sense
but just walking down the street killing rando people?
seems weird
alright. I want to show the people I DONT GIVE A FUCK and that I will kill people at will, and not even flinch. but I want 2 kill BAD people. like total selfish retarded scumbags that only care about money. I have no problems with my counselors or anything, I actually love them because I feel they care about me.
I just want to find the shitty people of the world, line em up, and put a bullet in em. not so much to prove myself really, but just because I feel like I could and not even give 1 fuck about it. I don't know why I have this urge 2 kill, but I would NEVER kill innocent people. that's the key.
its like I have so much built up horniness, anger, and SHAME that I want to put it 2 good use. heh
you need 2 realize I would never go around killing innocent people. I love people, I just hate shitty people. makes sense, right?
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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TheGreenArrow
Goodbye, Mr. Chops.



Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 15,270
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Not at all man. You gotta chill Bill. Don't feed the robot brotha. Just let go of guilt...What is the point man? Senseless guilt has fucked our society for far too long man. Why be a part of that cycle? You've been out there in the screaming abyss. What is the point of anybody going there before their time? Whats talkin there is the lack of that good scag in your veins, that will pass man. You gotta find somebody to help talk you down a little man.
-------------------- A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs
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Krackatus


Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 1,013
Loc: UK
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
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Quote:
Bill_Oreilly said: tell me, WHATS THE POINT 2 BE ALIVE?
Whats the point in being dead? Can't eat tasty burgers or drink milkshakes when I'm dead. Or smoke weed. I agree being alive is kinda pointless given the fact that everything will eventually expire, but I still think its more fun than not existing at all. Just stop giving a shit man. Stop giving a shit, and just start enjoying your life. Tell yourself that you're gonna enjoy this life, or you're gonna die trying. What's there to lose right?
-------------------- "I thought I knew a lot about psychedelics before I encountered DMT... it showed me that I knew virtually nothing." - Terence McKenna
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Quote:
Krackatus said:
Quote:
Bill_Oreilly said: tell me, WHATS THE POINT 2 BE ALIVE?
Whats the point in being dead? Can't eat tasty burgers or drink milkshakes when I'm dead. Or smoke weed. I agree being alive is kinda pointless given the fact that everything will eventually expire, but I still think its more fun than not existing at all. Just stop giving a shit man. Stop giving a shit, and just start enjoying your life. Tell yourself that you're gonna enjoy this life, or you're gonna die trying. What's there to lose right?
its the stress though. im trying 2 hard but I cant help it. I feel like I have his obligation 2 do everything right because nobody around here does. its not that that's even stressing me out...its all the WORK life throws at you. Im trying to take care of a kid that's not mine, trying 2 please a wife that cant be pleased. I want things I cannot have. and I CANNOT STOP THESE REDICULOUS THOUGHTS. its like the ONLY way for me to relax, is 2 dream about the things I know I cannot have. this is why I constantly thing about banging girls I cannot bang, having money I cannot have, smoking weed and tripping that I cant do. its like im substituting these things for dreams. now I know that I cannot have these things, I just dream about them. but I KNOW I DONT DESERVE these things so its making me go crazy that I cannot stop thinking about these things. I hope that makes sense.
its like I just want it ALL, and I know I cannot have it.
the other day I was thinking...like WHY CAN JUSTIN FUCKING BEIBER have it ALL but not me? I try so fucking hard 2 make everyone comfortable, I try so hard in everything I do, I try so hard 2 be right, I think so hard. I feel its for NOTHING. but why can that little shit have everything and not me???? WHY!?
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Quote:
Krackatus said:
Quote:
Bill_Oreilly said: tell me, WHATS THE POINT 2 BE ALIVE?
Whats the point in being dead?
Ill tell you. NO WORRIES WHEN YOURE DEAD. this is why I want to die. and everyone can say "oh just don't give a fuck, easy" well its not that easy for me. I do care. and nobody can stop that, including myself
I want 2 fuck a hot Asian and/or black girl, I want to trip balls on dmt and mushrooms/smoke weed. and I want money. these things will make me so happy. I know I cannot have them so I dream about these things instead. sorry, cant help it. like I said in another thread, I feel like everyone is happy and im just locked out in the cold...shivering trying to smoke a cigarette. I feel like there is no hope and no point 2 be alive. I just want to fucking die. that said, im NOT suicidal. I just would rather be dead right now than alive. you think im afraid 2 die? guess again, pals
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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im covered in this fucking rash that the doctors don't even know what it is...im depressed and angry when it boils down 2 it
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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birdland

Registered: 07/24/11
Posts: 2,202
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Learn to relax, see your councellors, be honest with yourself and others. Just BE PRESENT for fucks sake. Come out of your head more often.
Quote:
try so fucking hard 2 make everyone comfortable, I try so hard in everything I do, I try so hard 2 be right, I think so hard.
I'll tell you what would make more comfortable? I'd like you to relax, stop thinking so hard, go out in the sun on a long walk in a big wild park somewhere. Start practising an activity that you enjoy and meet people through it. Or meet people through people you already know if that's easier. If it all else fails and you're still suffering so bad maybe you can reconsider suicide then. 
But if you don't really care about trying so hard to make me comfortable like you claim, you should probably stfu and stop talking out of your ass.
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TheGreenArrow
Goodbye, Mr. Chops.



Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 15,270
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Ya, dont feed the Robot Bill.
-------------------- A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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I made a disgusting habit of putting others before myself. I know, its so wrong. but I feel like such a piece of shit its the only thing that seems 2 help me
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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k00laid
NEMO


Registered: 05/03/10
Posts: 19,636
Last seen: 6 months, 4 days
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Quote:
Bill_Oreilly said: I want to show the people I DONT GIVE A FUCK
you could start by ACTUALLY not giving a fuck.
-------------------- AMU - AMU Q & A - MyVideo Teks!
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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well, my definition of not giving a fuck must be different than others. we all have different definitions n thangz
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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but I hear ya, not giving a fuck is an all-around all-or-nothing thing. its just hard not to give a fuck about innocent children
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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k00laid
NEMO


Registered: 05/03/10
Posts: 19,636
Last seen: 6 months, 4 days
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maybe we do have different definitions
i dont give a fuck about innocent children
that's their parents responsibility
-------------------- AMU - AMU Q & A - MyVideo Teks!
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ManianFH
living in perverty


Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,741
Last seen: 1 hour, 9 minutes
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Quote:
lot_justice said: Sobriety does suck asshole. Go and get some caffeine and masturbate while having a heartfelt conversation with a loved one
damn i feel so the opposite of this. I am sober by choice and am loving it. I didnt stop using drugs for any reason other than I felt it was time to stop.
Life is wonderful. almost every night I go to bed feeling grateful for the life i have, the comfortable bed im sleeping in, the great food I made and got to eat earlier, all the time I had to practice classical guitar or whatever else i want, to go to the gym, travel the world, etc..
sounds like you just need to find a change of perspective for yourself OP. Life is a blessing, and every moment, even the pretty shitty ones (though im sure we all have a few that could just be tossed into oblivion haha). The shitty ones give the good ones better perspective. I hope you find something to love (there is plenty waiting), and just roll with it, and discover how fun life is.
learn how to cook some awesome food, and start getting some exercise. those are two great ways to start appreciating the time you got here.
-------------------- notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... " ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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