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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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im sad
#19400960 - 01/10/14 08:13 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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I feel like things will never get better. I feel like sobriety sucks asshole. ALL I want my machine-mind to do is 2 sink into the infinite oblivion the trip offers. I feel like a fish out of water. and I want 2 get laid. shitty weekend the patriots better win tomorrow or im gonna be really pissed. im off the weed. I have bedbug bites all over me and they itch like a motherfucker. my dick is basically dead. I want to trip balls and escape. I have gay ass psych appointments tomorrow that I don't want to go 2. and I want to murder people.
hows your Friday?
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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FruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
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--------------------
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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tell me, WHATS THE POINT 2 BE ALIVE?
I don't see one. I want to die, atleast ill be at peace. can some shroomerites come here and just kill me? that would be nice. im a fucking shameful loser. fuck the weekends they remind me of how pathetic I really am.
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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lot_justice
C.L.I.T. commander



Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 855
Loc: nowhere man
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Sobriety does suck asshole. Go and get some caffeine and masturbate while having a heartfelt conversation with a loved one
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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I don't want 2 masterbate because Ill feel more shameful and gross than I already do. I just sit around drinking redbull and smoking cigs. its fucking boring. I want 2 do some mescaline and smoke dmt. thatd be nice...
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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I feel like everyone knows something and im left out. like everyone can tell what im thinking but for some reason im locked out of their minds. I feel like everyone is just tossing shit on me and I have no choice but 2 accept it so I keep getting shit thrown at me and I accept it because I feel I deserve nothing but shit.
the only good thing about these bad feelings is that I feel I deserve it..im a shitty human with a small dick
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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RavageTheEarth



Registered: 12/28/13
Posts: 630
Loc: OH
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
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Your depressed man and those psych appointments are for the best. If you are open to it they can help you get out of this slump. Sobriety was FUCKING hard at first, but it gets better. Just keep your head up and don't get too lost within the sadness. Life is here. Live it.
-------------------- Crazy... toys in the attic I am craaaazy
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lot_justice
C.L.I.T. commander



Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 855
Loc: nowhere man
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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[mod edit: inappropriate]
Edited by tymoteusz3 (01/10/14 08:50 PM)
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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I'd hold off on all the red bulls if I was you, too much caffeine is bad for you in a lot of ways and very stressful.
Damn dude idk what you're stressing about, talking about how you feel left out and are a loser compared to everyone else. Well humans suck individually and as a collective whole, a lot of people feel the way you do at some point.
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lot_justice
C.L.I.T. commander



Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 855
Loc: nowhere man
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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[mod edit: inappropriate]
Edited by tymoteusz3 (01/10/14 08:50 PM)
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Quote:
lot_justice said: Well you get what you deserve so you better fucking change (and look into male enhancement pills, apparently)
Tell that to 4 year olds dying of starvation while maggots and flies prey on their flesh
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theRAPeutic
Hueman


Registered: 07/22/13
Posts: 8,702
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what about 5 and 6 year olds?
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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fuck off
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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RavageTheEarth



Registered: 12/28/13
Posts: 630
Loc: OH
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
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Quote:
Repertoire89 said:
This holds all the answers you need OP.
-------------------- Crazy... toys in the attic I am craaaazy
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lot_justice
C.L.I.T. commander



Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 855
Loc: nowhere man
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Quote:
Repertoire89 said:
Quote:
lot_justice said: Well you get what you deserve so you better fucking change (and look into male enhancement pills, apparently)
Tell that to 4 year olds dying of starvation while maggots and flies prey on their flesh
There's truths and then there are practical truths. None of those 4 year olds are in this post. I'm talking to Bill
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Quote:
lot_justice said: what are you getting sober off of? Did you have an actual habit or are you zapped because you're not tripping?
im getting clean of 7 years of marijuana abuse and 4 years of heroin abuse. and im not tripping im just smoking the reds and drinking caffeine
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Set
candy colored clown


Registered: 10/03/08
Posts: 6,383
Loc: right near da beach
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Quote:
Bill_Oreilly said: im getting clean of 7 years of marijuana abuse and 4 years of heroin abuse. and im not tripping im just smoking the reds and drinking caffeine
Are you in a recovery program or doing it just because?
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classic LOVELINE
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lot_justice
C.L.I.T. commander



Registered: 08/10/13
Posts: 855
Loc: nowhere man
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Have you tried NA? Depending on the city, shit is alright. Sounds like you could use a decent trip though. Hopefully you get your hands on your mescaline and your dmt sometime soon, and hopefully you keep doing good man. I know with ayahuasca they said in a study that it replenished serotonin receptors. I'm wondering if its the dmt in it that caused this. Either way, such a thing would probably be very desirable in a recovering heroin addict.
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Legend
RIP Sasha



Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 28,336
Loc: TX
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Hey bill, my friday nights pretty shit too. I'd like to just take some opiates.
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No sympathy for the devil, keep that in mind. [url=]Buy the ticket, take the ride. [/url]Are you lost?
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Re: im sad [Re: Legend]
#19401092 - 01/10/14 08:46 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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im doing intensive outpatient, im doing psych appointments, counseling meetings for the methadone clinic, and meeting with dcf workers, among some other things. im sick of it ALL and I just want 2 shoot some dope, even though I know it would ruin my life. I just hate everything and everyone. I want to kill.
literally, if there were no laws and I had a gun, I would go on a fucking rampage so help me god I would.
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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