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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,818
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Marriage
#19399705 - 01/10/14 03:33 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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People with strong will and independence of mind should never get married. That goes for men and women.
In marriage the woman must be, well, the woman, and the man must be obedient and docile -- to the core. If you don't fit into the traditional categories, you'll probably run into trouble. In strict truth, there is only room for one will in anyone's life, but people will get married, and if you do not conform to the proper mold, you are very likely in for misery and worse. People generally don't take these notions into account, and it is no surprise that the divorce rate is over fifty percent.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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natzyshroomer
Star gazer


Registered: 12/01/12
Posts: 405
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I assumed the divorce rate is higher because everyone is getting married right out of high school.. I know myself sexually, mentally, physically, emotionally and I'm still not ready for marriage. Because I understand myself.
-------------------- All submitted posts are by Someone Who Isn't Me and in any event are works of pure fiction or outright lies. Any information, statement, or assertion contained therein should be considered pure unadulterated bullshit
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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We're taught from a young age about "one true love" and all that, it takes awhile to see through and not everyone wants to see through it at all.
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Kickle
Wanderer


Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,852
Last seen: 12 hours, 56 minutes
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Quote:
DividedQuantum said: People with strong will and independence of mind should never get married. That goes for men and women.
In marriage the woman must be, well, the woman, and the man must be obedient and docile -- to the core. If you don't fit into the traditional categories, you'll probably run into trouble. In strict truth, there is only room for one will in anyone's life, but people will get married, and if you do not conform to the proper mold, you are very likely in for misery and worse. People generally don't take these notions into account, and it is no surprise that the divorce rate is over fifty percent.
Are you or have you been married? If not what makes you so sure of your speculation?
-------------------- Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,818
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Re: Marriage [Re: Kickle]
#19399954 - 01/10/14 04:15 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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I have never been married but I think it is realistic to think that observing dozens of relationships from up close, including several marriages, is enough to qualify me to make such remarks.
On top of what I mentioned above, two further reasons for some people (not all!) to avoid marriage are these:
Monogamy isn't necessarily the best thing for a lot of people.
And a big reason is that in this life, so much of the time people just need to go their separate ways after awhile. Spending your entire life tied to one person is almost slavish, and only works for a very select few.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: Marriage [Re: Kickle]
#19399978 - 01/10/14 04:19 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Quote:
Kickle said:
Are you or have you been married? If not what makes you so sure of your speculation?
Do you learn everything the hard way?
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Quote:
DividedQuantum said: I have never been married but I think it is realistic to think that observing dozens of relationships from up close, including several marriages, is enough to qualify me to make such remarks.
On top of what I mentioned above, two further reasons for some people (not all!) to avoid marriage are these:
Monogamy isn't necessarily the best thing for a lot of people.
And a big reason is that in this life, so much of the time people just need to go their separate ways after awhile. Spending your entire life tied to one person is almost slavish, and only works for a very select few.
Marriage helps me when selecting tenants. It's a legal contract, and when two married people apply if one flakes they both flake.
Now, just 15 mins ago I have the girl call and say "me and my fiancee are wanting to rent your house" and I go no way. Cause that's bullshit and I know it. Fiancee. How long will that last? I think that dude is just stringing out this chick. Plus how come the girl always calls and is looking for the house? How come the guy never calls and says "me and my fiancee are wanting to rent your house"? It's always the nest builder, the little woman.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Kickle
Wanderer


Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,852
Last seen: 12 hours, 56 minutes
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Quote:
Repertoire89 said:
Quote:
Kickle said:
Are you or have you been married? If not what makes you so sure of your speculation?
Do you learn everything the hard way?
Nah but some.
Quote:
DividedQuantum said: I have never been married but I think it is realistic to think that observing dozens of relationships from up close, including several marriages, is enough to qualify me to make such remarks.
On top of what I mentioned above, two further reasons for some people (not all!) to avoid marriage are these:
Monogamy isn't necessarily the best thing for a lot of people.
And a big reason is that in this life, so much of the time people just need to go their separate ways after awhile. Spending your entire life tied to one person is almost slavish, and only works for a very select few.
Ok just wondering
-------------------- Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: Marriage [Re: Kickle]
#19400067 - 01/10/14 04:36 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Quote:
Kickle said:
Nah but some.
Hm, maybe some things are worth learning the hard way. That's why I dragged out my last few relationships, kept getting in more relationships while the doubts about my own commitment grew.
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Kickle
Wanderer


Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,852
Last seen: 12 hours, 56 minutes
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Well I'm not married but have been with the same woman since the end of high school. That's approaching 8 years. I've not found independence to be an issue. But then again we are both quite introverted and the story might be different if we were more focused on what the other person was doing rather than how well the other person is doing.
-------------------- Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Quote:
DividedQuantum said: People with strong will and independence of mind should never get married. That goes for men and women.
In marriage the woman must be, well, the woman, and the man must be obedient and docile -- to the core. If you don't fit into the traditional categories, you'll probably run into trouble. In strict truth, there is only room for one will in anyone's life, but people will get married, and if you do not conform to the proper mold, you are very likely in for misery and worse. People generally don't take these notions into account, and it is no surprise that the divorce rate is over fifty percent.
ok
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: Marriage [Re: Kickle]
#19400464 - 01/10/14 06:01 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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I've heard that a little distance helps in long-term relationships, makes sense
Personally my biggest hangup on staying with one woman is finding one I respect as an equal, hasn't happened yet and unless I get back into the classical field its doubtful it will ever happen. Its liberating not to care
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


Registered: 11/14/10
Posts: 5,401
Last seen: 1 day, 22 hours
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I long for companionship.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,534
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my marriage is not in that dimension although from some vantage points some facets could be seen that way
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_ 🧠 _
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Dudits
Tao


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 233
Loc: West coast
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My marriage is nothing like that. Its only been 3 years but me and my wife are still best friends.
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,818
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Re: Marriage [Re: Dudits]
#19400654 - 01/10/14 06:56 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Quote:
Dudits said: My marriage is nothing like that. Its only been 3 years but me and my wife are still best friends.
And I say more power to you. I guess my main point is that it's definitely not for everyone, especially the type I mentioned.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Quote:
FishOilTheKid said: I long for companionship.
Of course but not just any companionship. Finding someone you can hang with is pretty hard for some types.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Quote:
FishOilTheKid said: I long for companionship.
i long for a quiet asian or indian woman. someone i can just sit back and be quiet with, with no need for mental mumbo jumbo.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Marriage [Re: Hobozen] 1
#19401071 - 01/10/14 08:40 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Fat fuckin chance.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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I know right.
Dreams will be dreams.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Marriage [Re: Hobozen]
#19401163 - 01/10/14 09:02 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Amen
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Can always find a mute
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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'All Gone Pete Tong' is a movie about a famous DJ who becomes deaf. Loses his mind because of it. Learns how to cope and finds a mute lover who teaches him sign language. It is a beautiful story.
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: Marriage [Re: Hobozen]
#19401315 - 01/10/14 09:43 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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I would literally kill myself within days of losing my hearing, no point in living. Sepuku
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Maybe you could find peace. Who knows it could even be easier. The senses seem to get in the way much of the time.
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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Re: Marriage [Re: Hobozen]
#19401387 - 01/10/14 10:03 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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im sure you can find some online if you have some $$$
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Re: Marriage [Re: quinn]
#19401408 - 01/10/14 10:09 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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you mean like ketamine from the deepweb? that sure is peaceful.
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: Marriage [Re: Hobozen]
#19401431 - 01/10/14 10:18 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Quote:
blankk said: Maybe you could find peace. Who knows it could even be easier. The senses seem to get in the way much of the time.
I wouldn't wait to find out, just buy a gun and off myself. Outside of music there's nothing worth staying in this hellhole for
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Man, I don't know what I'd do without music. I'd surely lose it (again).
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absols
Stranger

Registered: 11/10/13
Posts: 986
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
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Quote:
DividedQuantum said: In strict truth, there is only room for one will in anyone's life.
this is an absolute truth .. being is the conscious which cannot be objectively or realistically but one constant source .. free
and it is very wrong to deal with another freedom .. it is also very wrong for everything value
freedom is out of objective value and not value by itself alone it is out of realizing things matter that conscious is free
when people like each others, they can do things for each others instead of finding comfort in doing nothing all together
if you do something right to another, you tie him abstractly in a positive reality of him so he would be more free but also having to be positively conscious about you if that reality is to his rights of being really
that is how all people agree of loving or being attached to others that gave them something precious to their true being positive ways
so true love is what sponsor else freedom rights .. when marriage is the opposite fact then marriage is an institution of evil inventions meaning to kill true love, for freedom rights possessions and slavery
being married is to pretend loving by forcing the partner to do what the other want, so to never be real again nor objective for the rest of his life
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 days
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Quote:
DividedQuantum said: People with strong will and independence of mind should never get married. That goes for men and women.
In marriage the woman must be, well, the woman, and the man must be obedient and docile -- to the core. If you don't fit into the traditional categories, you'll probably run into trouble. In strict truth, there is only room for one will in anyone's life, but people will get married, and if you do not conform to the proper mold, you are very likely in for misery and worse. People generally don't take these notions into account, and it is no surprise that the divorce rate is over fifty percent.
You're probably unmarried, or if you are, you married the wrong person. I married a woman who did an excellent job of hiding her mental illness until after we we married! I nevertheless continued in it for 10 years. After a four year hiatus of divorce and dating, I met a woman whom I've been with since 1996. We've lived together since 1997, and legally married on 11/11/11. We are both strong-willed and independent, and we get along famously! Never had a bad argument or intentionally hurt one another's feelings. I haven't had any indiscretions, except for kissing a 20 year old girl who had never been kissed, in 1996. I've had a few temptations and opportunities, but I've never cheated. Neither has she (I'd bet my life on it). At age 60, sex is not the big motivator that it was for the first 50 years. We're both about Awakening.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,818
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Quote:
MarkostheGnostic said:
You're probably unmarried, or if you are, you married the wrong person. I married a woman who did an excellent job of hiding her mental illness until after we we married! I nevertheless continued in it for 10 years. After a four year hiatus of divorce and dating, I met a woman whom I've been with since 1996. We've lived together since 1997, and legally married on 11/11/11. We are both strong-willed and independent, and we get along famously! Never had a bad argument or intentionally hurt one another's feelings. I haven't had any indiscretions, except for kissing a 20 year old girl who had never been kissed, in 1996. I've had a few temptations and opportunities, but I've never cheated. Neither has she (I'd bet my life on it). At age 60, sex is not the big motivator that it was for the first 50 years. We're both about Awakening.
That's awesome, and I'm happy for you. Would you be willing to admit that you're the exception? I also feel that, getting married later in life is a *much* better idea. Short of maybe forty, nine times in ten I'm not sure anyone really knows what they're doing, or who they really are.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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FishOilTheKid
Ascended


Registered: 11/14/10
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I'd second that^
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
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Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 days
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I don't know enough examples to venture how exceptional we are, but I will say that I had to sacrifice my pre-conceived desires in order to get into this relationship. I mean, I had to transcend my desire for another tall blonde, for a curvy Black woman. She, in turn, had to jettison her proclivity for a Black man to get with this fair-haired blue-eyed Caucasian. There was a newly discovered physical attraction outside of our programming, but the attraction had to be on other levels too, or it wouldn't have lasted this long after any physical novelty had subsided. Physical attraction (Eros) is what large numbers of people think love consists in. I have long known about Agapé, and about Philias, but only recently have I learned about Ludus, Pragma and Philautia, by name. Without names, and their clarifying descriptions, is it any wonder that multitudes of failed marriages occurs. When the intoxication of Eros has subsided, as all intoxications do after a honeymoon phase, the absence of intensity leaves most people in an ocean of confused feelings. They don't know what else to focus on besides their 2nd chakra fires. The other forms of love are stronger in the long run, and more enduring. But given the puerile impatience of the average 20-something, they will be doomed to failures because they overlook these other forms of love, and foolishly identify with Eros. With time and age, when libidinal energies diminish, these higher chakra energies will be what relationship is made out of.
http://www.yesmagazine.org/happiness/the-ancient-greeks-6-words-for-love-and-why-knowing-them-can-change-your-life?utm_source=FB&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=20131227#.Ur7rEfzJtvU.facebook
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,818
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Well said.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 days
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Quote:
DividedQuantum said: Well said.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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