Hello new to the shroomery and just made an account for this post. Im going to go into depth of the last few years of my life and how lsd has impacted me, Im 16 from london and have experimented with, LSD, ketamine, mdma, pills, salvia, mushrooms, weed, ritalin, 2ce and 2ci.
I've always been interested in substances and have also respected them and never taken them too fuck me up, I was brought up in a stable home although my parents did split up. From the age of 14 I was experimenting with mdma and was very eager to try acid, one night in the summer i went to a psytrance free party in london, I took a pill and half a tab of acid. At the time I was around 15, the trip lasted a good 25 hours and was extremely intense people mutating into down syndromes there were some really heavy visuals. When me and my friend went back to mine he stopped tripping and went to sleep, this really freaked me out and intensified my trip, I then panicked and started searching up how long acid trips were supposed to last and convinced myself I was in a permanent trip and turning skits, the next morning when I woke up sane I was very grateful.
That experience really scared me and showed me the full powers of psychedelics but nothing could prepare me for what was to come.... the next few years went very down hill for me, I was doing surprisingly well at school with (10A*s) and hopefully heading to uni but I got kicked out of my house for drug relate issues and had to move into my dads. This was a very dark time for me, I turned against my parents and was extremely emotionally closed up and confused, I moved back into my mums house and was weekly going to free party's (squat party's) where I was taking mdma, ketamine, NOS and smoking weed but steering clear of psychedelics.
A few months ago I was round a friends house who had ordered a shroom growing kit, we was going to take the shrooms but we both vouched for acid instead seen as they seemed very bruised. That night I took a Hoffman tab and my two friends took 2 each as well, we decided to stay out all night and trip in London city, visiting places like Soho and tower bridge. When the acid started to kick in, I started feeling very excited with the visual ls coming on, but for some reason I felt like the trip was not going to get any more intense so dropped another tab. Within an hour I was tripping so hard that I could nt even talk and all i could see where large blobs of colour and my friends all took on very cartoon characteristics. This was the point in the night when I started thinking my two friends were talking about me, I began thinking they'd told the police id taken acid and then everywhere I looked police cars started appearing, I believed this so much that I even threw away some K which I had in my bag. As the morning approached I still had nt spoken to my friends and they were growing increasingly concerned of me, whenever they started saying 'I think hes loosing it' my trip intensified X100 and It was as if everything went matrix slow and I could nt feel my arms or legs.
We then went back to my friends house and once again they all stopped tripping but my trip was showing no signs of stopping, it had been 15 hours since I dropped the last tab and I was still definitely peaking. My mum had text me as Id been gone for a few days, this made me try to slow down my trip but it did the complete opposite. There were points when I would be sitting there and having no idea what to do with myself, I had no recollection of what I do normally when Im chilling then id stand up and forgot I stood up and just fall over so i started punching myself in the face convinced id gone crazy (I later discovered this was an ego death) This trip lasted a good 26 hours but the next day I returned to sanity.
This was a good 6 months ago and since then I've touched nothing at all, I believe that day really scarred me and i often find myself sitting in my room loosing touch with reality, At this point in time im extremely emotionally unstable and believe I may have a personality disorder. The thought of psychosis and schizophrenia send shivers down my spine and when I read symptoms I feel as if my brain convinces myself I have some of these symptoms, I felt like I've lost grip with reality Im failing to build meaningful relationships with others and am constantly trying to gain attention from others.
Sorry for the long post but felt like I really needed to get this off my chest, dont really know whats going on tbh, hopefully its a phase that Ill grow out of but Im getting worried I may have some sort of mental or personality disorder, thoughts?
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