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Icyus
KavitārkikasiṃHa



Registered: 11/07/13
Posts: 3,502
Loc: Inbetween.
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
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Re: Absent fathers (growing up) [Re: highc]
#19397579 - 01/10/14 07:02 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
highc said: My mom and dad seperated when I was 8 after my dad tried to kill her. Prior to this my dad was a pretty bad man. Was mafia affiliated and has killed numerous people. Home life wasn't far from. He use to beat the fuck out of my mom and me. Very badly. Most of the time for no reason.i found out I was adopted when I was 13 which really made me mad and dispised him.
Between 8 and 17 I just lived with my mom. At 17 I was way to out of control for my mom to handle and she sent me to my dads. I lived with him for a year and then he got cancer and died. I'm glad I got to spend his last days with him. Forgave but not forgotten.
I didn't even cry at his funeral . he was a piece of shit. He did slightly change when I went to relive with him. But damage was done. However, as shitty as he was I wouldn't change who he was or what he did because its those circumstances that made me who I am today and I love me 
Bullseye.
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Ballerium
Little Black Spot on the Sun



Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 11,025
Loc: GA
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Re: Absent fathers (growing up) [Re: Icyus]
#19397632 - 01/10/14 07:18 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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My parents divorced when I was six years old. I saw him every other weekend and I would visit him in longer spurts during the summer when school was out. I have a great relationship with him and I can't say anything bad about him. He tried his best to always be there for me and he has always made sure that I never hurt for anything. I think he has a lot of guilt for what happened and not being able to be as much of a part of my life as he would have liked to have been, even though he did a lot. That translated into him spoiling me a bit. 
But if anything we are closer now than ever and our shared hobby (weed) only furthers that closeness. I am a lot like him and can talk to him about pretty much anything - the total opposite of my relationship with my mom. I'm slowly trying to introduce the concept od tripping to him..he seems like the kind of person who would appreciate and benefit from it.
I guess I came out alright compared to some kids of divorced parents but I always wonder how I would have turned out if he had been in my life on a daily basis. I feel like there its good to have a mother and a father figure, if anything just so I could have maybe had another perspective/way of looking at life. Which isn't to say its too late for that now..I just feel like it was something I should have had growing up when I was my most impressionable, if that makes sense.
The male mind is a mystery to me sometimes and I feel like maybe it wouldn't be if he had been around more to explain things.
I don't know..its early in the morning and I'm in a caffiene-fueled rambling mode.
-------------------- Beats and waves will take me to my grave and when I go there I know that I won't be alone 'cause I've been spotted, blotted, many many times before.
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Kingofdiamonds
Stranger


Registered: 02/02/10
Posts: 405
Last seen: 8 years, 3 days
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Re: Absent fathers (growing up) [Re: Ballerium]
#19398771 - 01/10/14 12:22 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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My mom and dad divorced when I was 2. My dad had visitation rights every weekend so I had to see him whether i wanted to or not. When he paid support it was also bare minimum since he didnt work half the time. When I went to where he lived for visitations his house was a mess. It looked like a garbage bomb exploded and he also never took care of himself. At the age of 12 the court decided I was old enough that I could decide whether I wanted to see him and I sad no. So they check off the visitations and I havent seen him since. Part of the reason I wanted the visitations to end is because my mom and him did not get along. I was also tired of hearing her talk shit about it and how much she hated him(He was abusive toward her when they were married). So here I am at 27 and havent seen my father in 15 years.
I did and still do have a male role model though. That would be my mom's step dad. He has more than made up for the shortcomings of my real father. Plus he has always been there for me when my mom wasnt. He has definitely influenced and help shape the person i am today.
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shLong



Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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That's sad to read/hear about asshole men as fathers
My dad is kind of a hot headed dick, but he was there and provided. He tried his best, I'm sure.
Idk, if I ever have a child or two I know full well that I'd do whatever I could to make their life the best that it should be.
I identify more with my mom than my dad, however.
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Apostle
Philanthropist



Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 31,501
Loc: FL
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: Absent fathers (growing up) [Re: shLong]
#19399624 - 01/10/14 03:12 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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My dad wasn't really around much but i don't think it affected me too DADDY WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?
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Shortknight



Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 2,164
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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Re: Absent fathers (growing up) [Re: Apostle]
#19399648 - 01/10/14 03:18 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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My dad is awesome and is one of the wisest little mas there is, don't get me wrong either, he is a really strong man. Love my parents. They taught me so much control, and its all in the palms of my hand now!
Sorry to hear about a lot of your guys stories, hope all is well now and keeps getting better! 
 Shorty
-------------------- Did I say it too loud? Big heart? Or a little misleading!
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lets drive around
That kid with a stupid low Jetta



Registered: 07/25/13
Posts: 1,060
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Re: Absent fathers (growing up) [Re: Shortknight]
#19399728 - 01/10/14 03:37 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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My parents got divorced when I was around 5. Don't remember him ever trying to come visit me and my sis that much, and every time that he actually did he would come over reeking of booze and try to buy us gifts and tell me and my sis how he was better than mom cause he buys us presents. That's all the memories I have of him. Sad, I know.
When I was 9 my mom moved to the US and married my stepdad. He's been an awesome father for the most part (he tried the best that he could). To this day I consider him more of a dad to me then my blood father.
2 years ago my blood father died, and when my ma told me the news I honestly couldn't care less, as cold as that is. I forgave him for all his mistakes though, even though he was a piece of shit but at the same time only human.
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trekie
Metal man


Registered: 05/11/09
Posts: 11,085
Loc: Larger cities
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My dad is a horrible person. When I'm not on my phone I'll write it out sorry for shit post. Really don't want to forget to write it out.
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Hobozen

Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Re: Absent fathers (growing up) [Re: trekie]
#19399955 - 01/10/14 04:15 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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my dad was a long haul truck driver, mom worked full time. i was mostly raised with a pack of wild brothers.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: Absent fathers (growing up) [Re: Asante]
#19400239 - 01/10/14 05:06 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Wiccan_Seeker said:
Quote:
zappaisgod said: My father was a good, kind man who took care of his family.
I believe you, you strike me as a man who had a strong male rolemodel and I mean that in a good way. But, and not to dig at you, I always had the impression your mom didnt breastfeed you.
Almost certainly didn't. She had bee bites and didn't breast feed the babies that I was aware of after me. I was first, by the way. Can you tell?
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: Absent fathers (growing up) [Re: Icyus]
#19400249 - 01/10/14 05:08 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Icyus said:
Quote:
birdland said:
Quote:
I always had the impression your mom didnt breastfeed you.
How is this meant to affect someone?
Uncomfertable with physical contact...
I am not uncomfortable with physical contact. I don't think that was his point. I don't know what his point was but there is no way he would have that knowledge of me.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: Absent fathers (growing up) [Re: Ballerium]
#19400286 - 01/10/14 05:18 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Ballerium said: My parents divorced when I was six years old. I saw him every other weekend and I would visit him in longer spurts during the summer when school was out. I have a great relationship with him and I can't say anything bad about him. He tried his best to always be there for me and he has always made sure that I never hurt for anything. I think he has a lot of guilt for what happened and not being able to be as much of a part of my life as he would have liked to have been, even though he did a lot. That translated into him spoiling me a bit. 
This is pretty close to my experience with my daughter except I don't feel any guilt about it and I didn't spoil her. When her mother was being a whack job, and she was many times, she always had me for sanity. It disgusts me to no end that I would have to have proven my ex-wife to be an ax murderer satanist junkie in order for me to get custody of my daughter.
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teknix
𓂀⟁𓅢𓍝𓅃𓊰𓉡 𓁼𓆗⨻



Registered: 09/16/08
Posts: 11,953
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Re: Absent fathers (growing up) [Re: Asante]
#19400655 - 01/10/14 06:56 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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I wonder if children that are breast fed tend to have more empathy and compassion later in life?
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deladude
king size


Registered: 05/16/08
Posts: 1,904
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
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Re: Absent fathers (growing up) [Re: teknix]
#19400794 - 01/10/14 07:34 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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My dad is a piece of shit that leeches off my mother and treats his family like shit. He once broke down my door, broke all my shit, and threatened to kill me.
I honestly wish I would have never lifted my restraining order.
-------------------- losers always talk about doing their best, winners go home and fuck the prom queen.
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InfiniteToker
Devourer of Chicken Wings



Registered: 06/22/13
Posts: 1,724
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 1 month, 30 days
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Re: Absent fathers (growing up) [Re: deladude]
#19401311 - 01/10/14 09:41 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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grew up without a father in suburban Pennsylvania as a latino. Constantly picked up, bullied, made fun of because of the color of my skin. Fast-forward into the future- at age 25 met said father who never apologized and we attempted to form a relationship as buddies. Received 400 dollars for christmas of 2012 and talked four times after that. left messages on cell etc. with my numbers and contact info, still waiting. Guys if you become father's don't emulate this shitty behavior. Peace Dope and Smoke
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"I'm chilling in a room with a view, there's always room for improvement; so i grab my coat and go and prove it"-Method Man
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