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InTheCosmos
Observer



Registered: 06/27/13
Posts: 130
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
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I hate this place. 1
#19389339 - 01/08/14 05:07 PM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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I'm pretty much done with my time on this earth. I hate how my life has become, I feel like the most worthless particle to ever exist. My problems are overwhelming and I cant over come my thoughts and emotions anymore. I have nobody. Honestly, what's the point? I thought happiness was a choice, just as much as anger, or sadness. It's not a choice, I cant be happy. I cant choose to not be miserable with every moment im here. Waking up and becoming sad that you actually woke up, is not a feeling that I can just choose to get rid of. I never express my emotions, and I just cant take it anymore. I want to be gone from this realm.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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I hear ya bro. While it might be a choice for some it's certainly not for most imo. You are hardly alone but you have come to it at what I assume is a very young age. I really seriously got sick of everything at about 55 years so I've been dealing with it for about 6 years. It's not pretty. I wish you the very best and I do feel for ya.
There may be some things you can do to lessen the suffering however but you'll be using extreme measures most likely.
I find that Kratom has been helpful for me but I have to deal with this damn addiction. I have it very easy materially also so I'm not going to give further advice beyond that.
I'm not sure if I actually hate it here. I find it disappointingly depressing.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Quote:
InTheCosmos said: I'm pretty much done with my time on this earth. I hate how my life has become, I feel like the most worthless particle to ever exist. My problems are overwhelming and I cant over come my thoughts and emotions anymore. I have nobody. Honestly, what's the point? I thought happiness was a choice, just as much as anger, or sadness. It's not a choice, I cant be happy. I cant choose to not be miserable with every moment im here. Waking up and becoming sad that you actually woke up, is not a feeling that I can just choose to get rid of. I never express my emotions, and I just cant take it anymore. I want to be gone from this realm.
This is exactly how I want my enemies to feel. Ideally there would be physical pain as well.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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That's nice.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander] 1
#19389549 - 01/08/14 05:36 PM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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usulpsychonaut


Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 2,814
Loc: Northland, New Zealand.
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Last time I ran out of cannabis I drove to this beach too decapitate myself. I was drinking in my car, waiting for the focus and determination to go through with it when a gangster knocked on my car window, asked for a cigarette paper. I asked him to hook me up with some cannabis leaf and he did. So I got a real good excuse not to end everything and since then I've dealt with numerous hangovers, endless hassles and work. On the up side I get stoned every day and now I even get laid once a week. Just seems that most of us just keep on living and this is what ever it is. It will get better, it will get worse. Anyone with the balls to actually suicide has my respect. Life seems like the easier way to me. As for 'just perception'??? this is meaningless. Of course it is just perception, knowing that suicidal tendencies are just a perception does not make suicidal tendencies any easier to walk through.
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Icyus
KavitārkikasiṃHa



Registered: 11/07/13
Posts: 3,502
Loc: Inbetween.
Last seen: 8 years, 27 days
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19389590 - 01/08/14 05:41 PM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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It is a shitty place indeed.. not a reason to suffer though.. man... would you help me kill all humans?
Man, I have balls to suicide.. and to cut them off myself be the need great enough.. think both of those thing would be the last i would do thoigh... havent bothered killing myself yet thoigh.. a task tocomplete and all...
-------------------- And thus begins the reverse-fusing of our one-dimentional understanding, and adds ever-expanding perspectives, in depth and number; splitting our perception, and in so doing, seemingly irrationally, creates yet more one-ness, with all that ever was, is and will ever be, streching across the infinite, inunderstood concept of everything, percievable and not.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Anyone with the balls to actually suicide has my respect.
Ditto
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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dragonsmack
Stranger


Registered: 08/12/13
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Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
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Seems like a long time ago but I remember when in my late teens to mid 20s I felt that way too. I remember taking a shotgun to bed in hopes that I would have the balls to follow through that night. Anyway, it took a long time to figure it out but in the end it was ADD and being diagnosed has made me a new person. When your mind is going a million different directions and it never feels like you accomplish shit, you are a loser because you cant accomplish shit which then makes you more depressed, it truly is remarkable that in like 20 minutes after your first dose of adderall you think like a new man. I am now 45 and still have slight issues with depression now and again but am glad I held in there. If you can, get in the docs office and see if you could pick up a generic of it to try for a month.
As for happiness is a choice, it is if the chemicals in your brain are balanced enough for you to be able to choose. If not, you will never be happy but the good news is...it is fixable!!!!!
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Icyus
KavitārkikasiṃHa



Registered: 11/07/13
Posts: 3,502
Loc: Inbetween.
Last seen: 8 years, 27 days
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Man.. you do not need a pill to be optimal..
we humans are to be scavenging in the woods, I think... We would eat what we feel eating.. we would ingest all alkaloids and oils we would require to be optimal.. we would be atracted to it...
If you feel like you are depressed, I would suggest starting to do what you feel on a whim... you often need a little kickstarter though, but after a dose of mother earth, you'd be off again
-------------------- And thus begins the reverse-fusing of our one-dimentional understanding, and adds ever-expanding perspectives, in depth and number; splitting our perception, and in so doing, seemingly irrationally, creates yet more one-ness, with all that ever was, is and will ever be, streching across the infinite, inunderstood concept of everything, percievable and not.
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InTheCosmos
Observer



Registered: 06/27/13
Posts: 130
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
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Suicide would be cake for me if I knew what was past this. Every good or bad feeling is pure perception. I get that. I cant get the bad perception out of anything though. Drugs and not being sober only help for a short time if at all for me. I dont really know if I believe its acceptable. All I can say is, everytime I think about dying, I think of suicide. Thats the only way I think of myself going out. I'd love to do it now, but I would want to wait for it to be a perfect time, to get the most reactions out of it. It's too hard to care at all anymore.
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Icyus
KavitārkikasiṃHa



Registered: 11/07/13
Posts: 3,502
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Last seen: 8 years, 27 days
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To get the most reactions? You should kill yourself because you want the experience of it man... if you are stil suffering.. It will continue, i think..
-------------------- And thus begins the reverse-fusing of our one-dimentional understanding, and adds ever-expanding perspectives, in depth and number; splitting our perception, and in so doing, seemingly irrationally, creates yet more one-ness, with all that ever was, is and will ever be, streching across the infinite, inunderstood concept of everything, percievable and not.
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presentusthefuture
Stranger


Registered: 09/22/13
Posts: 127
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icyus] 1
#19389810 - 01/08/14 06:15 PM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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Jesus...
You guys need to seriously get off the internet. Right now. And go outside. Just take a break.
You need to realize that life is only as enjoyable or depressing as you make it.
There will always be ups and downs in life. Always. That is a given. But just as you slide down into the valley of depression, know that there is a new day just over the horizon with new joys, new possibilities, and new surprises. Where there is life, there is hope.
Instead of sooking on an internet forum, moaning "poor me, life sucks. I just want to blow my brains out. Why was I born!? Wahh" Why don't you pick yourself up out of your shitty situation and do something about it? You can't expect life to just give you constant satisfaction. Go find new joys, new loves. Go visit somebody that you care about. Practice a hobby that you have. Self-improvement really does wonders for depression.
But DO NOT rely on drugs as your main source of joy. That is a slippery slope my friends.
Christ, this forum is just full of whiny little pessimists. Either that or juvenile hippies. It's kind of pathetic...
</endrant>
Edited by presentusthefuture (01/08/14 06:21 PM)
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Kickle
Wanderer


Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,852
Last seen: 13 hours, 43 minutes
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Quote:
InTheCosmos said: I'm pretty much done with my time on this earth. I hate how my life has become, I feel like the most worthless particle to ever exist. My problems are overwhelming and I cant over come my thoughts and emotions anymore. I have nobody. Honestly, what's the point? I thought happiness was a choice, just as much as anger, or sadness. It's not a choice, I cant be happy. I cant choose to not be miserable with every moment im here. Waking up and becoming sad that you actually woke up, is not a feeling that I can just choose to get rid of. I never express my emotions, and I just cant take it anymore. I want to be gone from this realm.
In the end it takes a lot more courage to be emotionally honest than it does to try and hide it. Kudos to you for owning it, shitty as it is. People might urge you to change and you likely want to do exactly that, but IME the best medicine, even if only temporary, is to let the shit be shitty. Again I think it takes a monumental amount of courage to do this. The easier route is to try to deny the shittyness has any reason to be by focusing on solutions / alternatives. ironically that provides shittyness with a purpose. To promote change / escape from unwelcoming circumstances. But what about when it isn't something within our power to change? Well, that purpose becomes self-repeating. Change this, shittyness still there. Ok.. change this. Shittyness still there. At some point shittyness just needs to be, without purpose, without reason, just as it is before anything else comes in to play. And then IME it falls prey to impermanence. No fuel to the burning fire, it burns itself out. At least temporarily.
Wishing you well whatever way you approach your existence. Its not for the faint of heart any way.
-------------------- Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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Spacerific
- - - >



Registered: 10/13/12
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icyus] 1
#19389850 - 01/08/14 06:23 PM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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Give me a break OP 
I have two words for you. Sean Stephenson.

Read that link, inform yourself a bit and then see if you can come back here and boo hoo about how bad you have it.
-------------------- Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Spacerific] 1
#19389897 - 01/08/14 06:31 PM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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Quote:
Spacerific said: Give me a break OP 
I have two words for you. Sean Stephenson.

Read that link, inform yourself a bit and then see if you can come back here and boo hoo about how bad you have it.
Jeez now the guy doesn't even have a right to feel like shit about a shitty situation, life just keeps getting better
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Icyus
KavitārkikasiṃHa



Registered: 11/07/13
Posts: 3,502
Loc: Inbetween.
Last seen: 8 years, 27 days
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Quote:
presentusthefuture said: Jesus...
You guys need to seriously get off the internet. Right now. And go outside. Just take a break.
You need to realize that life is only as enjoyable or depressing as you make it.
There will always be ups and downs in life. Always. That is a given. But just as you slide down into the valley of depression, know that there is a new day just over the horizon with new joys, new possibilities, and new surprises. Where there is life, there is hope.
Instead of sooking on an internet forum, moaning "poor me, life sucks. I just want to blow my brains out. Why was I born!? Wahh" Why don't you pick yourself up out of your shitty situation and do something about it? You can't expect life to just give you constant satisfaction. Go find new joys, new loves. Go visit somebody that you care about. Practice a hobby that you have. Self-improvement really does wonders for depression.
But DO NOT rely on drugs as your main source of joy. That is a slippery slope my friends.
Christ, this forum is just full of whiny little pessimists. Either that or juvenile hippies. It's kind of pathetic...
</endrant>
Why did you respond that to me? You are anyway emitting bad vibes... stop it, or you will start coming late for everything..
-------------------- And thus begins the reverse-fusing of our one-dimentional understanding, and adds ever-expanding perspectives, in depth and number; splitting our perception, and in so doing, seemingly irrationally, creates yet more one-ness, with all that ever was, is and will ever be, streching across the infinite, inunderstood concept of everything, percievable and not.
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Kickle
Wanderer


Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,852
Last seen: 13 hours, 43 minutes
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Quote:
presentusthefuture said: Jesus...
You guys need to seriously get off the internet. Right now. And go outside. Just take a break.
You need to realize that life is only as enjoyable or depressing as you make it.
There will always be ups and downs in life. Always. That is a given. But just as you slide down into the valley of depression, know that there is a new day just over the horizon with new joys, new possibilities, and new surprises. Where there is life, there is hope.
Instead of sooking on an internet forum, moaning "poor me, life sucks. I just want to blow my brains out. Why was I born!? Wahh" Why don't you pick yourself up out of your shitty situation and do something about it? You can't expect life to just give you constant satisfaction. Go find new joys, new loves. Go visit somebody that you care about. Practice a hobby that you have. Self-improvement really does wonders for depression.
But DO NOT rely on drugs as your main source of joy. That is a slippery slope my friends.
Christ, this forum is just full of whiny little pessimists. Either that or juvenile hippies. It's kind of pathetic...
</endrant>
These posts are a part of life. You should practice what you preach. If it is within your power to enjoy life in full then you can enjoy this tiny sliver with ease.
-------------------- Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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presentusthefuture
Stranger


Registered: 09/22/13
Posts: 127
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Kickle]
#19389953 - 01/08/14 06:42 PM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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And so it goes:
"Misery loves company"
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Quote:
presentusthefuture said: And so it goes:
"Misery loves company"
That's a nice attitude you got there buddy, very admirable.
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Quote:
InTheCosmos said: I'm pretty much done with my time on this earth. I hate how my life has become, I feel like the most worthless particle to ever exist. My problems are overwhelming and I cant over come my thoughts and emotions anymore. I have nobody. Honestly, what's the point? I thought happiness was a choice, just as much as anger, or sadness. It's not a choice, I cant be happy. I cant choose to not be miserable with every moment im here. Waking up and becoming sad that you actually woke up, is not a feeling that I can just choose to get rid of. I never express my emotions, and I just cant take it anymore. I want to be gone from this realm.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Kickle
Wanderer


Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,852
Last seen: 13 hours, 43 minutes
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Quote:
presentusthefuture said: And so it goes:
"Misery loves company"
We all want company. If you aren't suffering what does it hurt to be compassionate towards those who are? Maybe you are doing that in the best way you know. But for me at least your posts look like you're upset about someone who is suffering and then blaming the suffering individual(s) for making you this way.
-------------------- Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Kickle]
#19390103 - 01/08/14 07:25 PM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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Quote:
Kickle said:
Quote:
presentusthefuture said: And so it goes:
"Misery loves company"
We all want company. If you aren't suffering what does it hurt to be compassionate towards those who are? Maybe you are doing that in the best way you know. But for me at least your posts look like you're upset about someone who is suffering and then blaming the suffering individual(s) for making you this way.
Ouch.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,534
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shit shit shit
--------------------
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Spacerific
- - - >



Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 4,923
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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Quote:
Repertoire89 said:
Quote:
Spacerific said: Give me a break OP 
I have two words for you. Sean Stephenson.

Read that link, inform yourself a bit and then see if you can come back here and boo hoo about how bad you have it.
Jeez now the guy doesn't even have a right to feel like shit about a shitty situation, life just keeps getting better
What shitty situation specifically? Furthermore how is said situation worse than being a wheelchair-bound midget with extremely fragile bones?
OP has the right to feel any way he pleases, the full spectrum of human emotion. Just that not all of them bring any sympathy from others. To me it looks just like boo hoo, I couldn't be bothered to get out, get some sunshine / fresh air / new pussy / follow my dreams and passions, and then wondering why life feels like shit. It usually feels like shit in direct proportion to how much time one spends on the couch, flipping channels watching porn or smoking / drinking alone.
-------------------- Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16
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usulpsychonaut


Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 2,814
Loc: Northland, New Zealand.
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Spacerific] 1
#19390633 - 01/08/14 09:08 PM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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I've been out. Got sun. Exercised. Talked to strangers. Joined clubs. Fresh air. Got a job. Getting laid. Just don't know what you are going on about. None of this changes anything.
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InTheCosmos
Observer



Registered: 06/27/13
Posts: 130
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
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I guess posting emotions at my will offended some people, it's okay. Everyone is entitled to an opinion just as much as I am to not give a fuck. I never knew there was a "wrong" emotion. It's simply how I feel now. Sitting in the sun, taking breaks or whatever isnt necessarily going to change an emotion for a person.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Quote:
presentusthefuture said: Jesus...
You guys need to seriously get off the internet. Right now. And go outside. Just take a break.
You need to realize that life is only as enjoyable or depressing as you make it.
There will always be ups and downs in life. Always. That is a given. But just as you slide down into the valley of depression, know that there is a new day just over the horizon with new joys, new possibilities, and new surprises. Where there is life, there is hope.
Instead of sooking on an internet forum, moaning "poor me, life sucks. I just want to blow my brains out. Why was I born!? Wahh" Why don't you pick yourself up out of your shitty situation and do something about it? You can't expect life to just give you constant satisfaction. Go find new joys, new loves. Go visit somebody that you care about. Practice a hobby that you have. Self-improvement really does wonders for depression.
But DO NOT rely on drugs as your main source of joy. That is a slippery slope my friends.
Christ, this forum is just full of whiny little pessimists. Either that or juvenile hippies. It's kind of pathetic...
</endrant>
Thanks for the pep talk.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Quote:
Spacerific said: Give me a break OP 
I have two words for you. Sean Stephenson.

Read that link, inform yourself a bit and then see if you can come back here and boo hoo about how bad you have it.
I have two words for you too. You can PM me for them.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,534
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19392199 - 01/09/14 05:05 AM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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I would never argue emotion or try to out logic it, emotion has an extra dimension to it always;
you know the game:
- scissors cuts paper
- rock breaks scissors
- paper wraps rock
the series of relationships is not ultimate supremacy, but it describes a brief battle followed by an uncontested settlement.
well state of mind (which includes emotion or drug like experiencing) is like the rock, and logic is like scissors.
basically emotional state of mind will smash logic (can't be argued)
what then is the 3rd entity, what is the paper??? what is that thing that logic can cut, yet still wraps rock/ emotion.
I think it is abiding. aka sitting by, or being with. (one person sitting beside themselves, or another person sitting by the afflicted one, or even a whole circle of people sitting beside an afflicted one)
when a person adds their consciousness, un-judging, but observant awareness to the rock (emotion) the conscious awareness wraps the rock.
--------------------
_ 🧠 _
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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huh?
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,534
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19392234 - 01/09/14 05:18 AM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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the threat of exploding or imploding is the emotional threat to break the scissors, to declare readiness to end one's life or smash any other logical sequence is to be the rock (to be emotional).
you can't counter emotion with logic, the logic is smashed to pieces.
but the rock gets wrapped by paper.
the exploding or imploding or smashing intent of emotion becomes calmed by flat attention, mere abiding with.
--------------------
_ 🧠 _
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19392245 - 01/09/14 05:20 AM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: huh?
I think he's trying to say, he's the kind of person that would fuck someone in the ass, and not even have the decency to give them a reach around.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Quote:
LunarEclipse said:
Quote:
Icelander said: huh?
I think he's trying to say, he's the kind of person that would fuck someone in the ass, and not even have the decency to give them a reach around.
Got it. Thanks. absols might be his puppet.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19392295 - 01/09/14 05:38 AM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said:
Quote:
LunarEclipse said:
Quote:
Icelander said: huh?
I think he's trying to say, he's the kind of person that would fuck someone in the ass, and not even have the decency to give them a reach around.
Got it. Thanks. absols might be his puppet. 
It's all about taking him out of the box and pulling his strings. That's what makes a happy puppet.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Icyus
KavitārkikasiṃHa



Registered: 11/07/13
Posts: 3,502
Loc: Inbetween.
Last seen: 8 years, 27 days
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John mayer said "you aint noone till someone lets you down".. I figure this quite true.. relatively speaking as anything... suffering builds carracter..
-------------------- And thus begins the reverse-fusing of our one-dimentional understanding, and adds ever-expanding perspectives, in depth and number; splitting our perception, and in so doing, seemingly irrationally, creates yet more one-ness, with all that ever was, is and will ever be, streching across the infinite, inunderstood concept of everything, percievable and not.
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icyus]
#19392356 - 01/09/14 06:00 AM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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Quote:
Icyus said: John mayer said "you aint noone till someone lets you down".. I figure this quite true.. relatively speaking as anything... suffering builds carracter..
Well then buddy that kinda carracter I can do without. My cat never lets me down he just pisses on a wall but very rarely anymore. Now he sits in his box and waits for me to play with him.
The power of love! The importance of play. In the eyes of a child we will see.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Icyus
KavitārkikasiṃHa



Registered: 11/07/13
Posts: 3,502
Loc: Inbetween.
Last seen: 8 years, 27 days
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Quote:
LunarEclipse said:
Quote:
Icyus said: John mayer said "you aint noone till someone lets you down".. I figure this quite true.. relatively speaking as anything... suffering builds carracter..
Well then buddy that kinda carracter I can do without. My cat never lets me down he just pisses on a wall but very rarely anymore. Now he sits in his box and waits for me to play with him.
The power of love! The importance of play. In the eyes of a child we will see.
It is the way of nature.. making one tough enough to survive no matter what..
-------------------- And thus begins the reverse-fusing of our one-dimentional understanding, and adds ever-expanding perspectives, in depth and number; splitting our perception, and in so doing, seemingly irrationally, creates yet more one-ness, with all that ever was, is and will ever be, streching across the infinite, inunderstood concept of everything, percievable and not.
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absols
Stranger

Registered: 11/10/13
Posts: 986
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19392381 - 01/09/14 06:07 AM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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you are his puppet Icelander, not me ..
I am nothing to that kind of thinking level nor that I ever act as being anyone like you do ..
thank you for showing your true colors
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,534
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icyus]
#19392397 - 01/09/14 06:14 AM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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Don't let me down
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icyus]
#19392400 - 01/09/14 06:17 AM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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Quote:
Icyus said:
Quote:
LunarEclipse said:
Quote:
Icyus said: John mayer said "you aint noone till someone lets you down".. I figure this quite true.. relatively speaking as anything... suffering builds carracter..
Well then buddy that kinda carracter I can do without. My cat never lets me down he just pisses on a wall but very rarely anymore. Now he sits in his box and waits for me to play with him.
The power of love! The importance of play. In the eyes of a child we will see.
It is the way of nature.. making one tough enough to survive no matter what..
Tough enough?
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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absols
Stranger

Registered: 11/10/13
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first, torturing someone and then claim doing something right, as long as the tortured is not killed .. is easy way that all monsters do
second, what kills logics is being present
there are infinite levels of being present
first is by recognizing objective existence being present else
then to be present right, so free present out of all since all is present too
then the least is by looking around what to support by admitting as it is or in itself conscious freedom being to act then present realistically as a positive source out
it has nothing to do with staying with others consciously.. on the contrary that is evil clearly so it cant break logics at all evil logics break it
using others presence to act present is the most opposite act towards present and being
when someone is in trouble, all he truly need is to be free to get any positive energy out of being himself in real
when existence is true, positive source is exclusively through reality clarity
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absols
Stranger

Registered: 11/10/13
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Quote:
redgreenvines said: Don't let me down
go beg jesus to entertain you down or save you as you want ...
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absols
Stranger

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Re: I hate this place. [Re: absols]
#19392434 - 01/09/14 06:34 AM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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it is funny all your talks about love.. as if your love is precious source of anything ..
there is no love, but if it is absolutely true, when love is not a thing and it is always free
absolutely true mean truth existence .. then there is no love unless existence is absolutely real
while if existence is absolutely real then that is all there is, truth, no love
which prove how your pretenses of loving and love is the business of lie that cant fuck the truth when by definition lie cant recognize what is true it is only of wills that cant touch anything
Edited by absols (01/09/14 06:35 AM)
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,534
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Don't turn your back on me. -sodom
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absols
Stranger

Registered: 11/10/13
Posts: 986
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
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stop inventing others backs to blame .. everyone is facing you
like what everyone is forced to stay still real, the taste of infinite truth approach ..
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: absols]
#19392575 - 01/09/14 07:52 AM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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Quote:
absols said: you are his puppet Icelander, not me ..
I am nothing to that kind of thinking level nor that I ever act as being anyone like you do ..
thank you for showing your true colors 
STFU
Not only are you indecipherable 98% of the time you have absolutely no sense of humor.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,534
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19392581 - 01/09/14 07:54 AM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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ucki mucki dicki ducky to you too!
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Quote:
InTheCosmos said: I'm pretty much done with my time on this earth. I hate how my life has become, I feel like the most worthless particle to ever exist. My problems are overwhelming and I cant over come my thoughts and emotions anymore. I have nobody. Honestly, what's the point? I thought happiness was a choice, just as much as anger, or sadness. It's not a choice, I cant be happy. I cant choose to not be miserable with every moment im here. Waking up and becoming sad that you actually woke up, is not a feeling that I can just choose to get rid of. I never express my emotions, and I just cant take it anymore. I want to be gone from this realm.
"wish there was something real wish there was something true wish there was something real in this world full of you i'm the one without a soul i'm the one with this big fucking hole no new tale to tell twenty-six years on my way to hell gotta listen to your big time hard line bad luck fist fuck don't think you're having all the fun you know me i hate everyone "
Here's an angst ridden NIN song. By all means scream a long, let it out.
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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absols
Stranger

Registered: 11/10/13
Posts: 986
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19392624 - 01/09/14 08:17 AM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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decipherable yourself 
it is incredible how fast you change only because I asked you to visit my rating page .. as if I was asking money ..
and keep your humour for yourself, this is all what I said, how redgreenvines is your boss and your his puppet here
Edited by absols (01/09/14 08:23 AM)
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: absols]
#19392630 - 01/09/14 08:19 AM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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that's the spirit.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Quote:
redgreenvines said: ucki mucki dicki ducky to you too!
Just another in a long line of posts I can't decipher.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Tropism
ChasingTail


Registered: 09/12/09
Posts: 2,039
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Suicide would be cake for me if I knew what was past this.
There might not be anything past this, or other timelines, realms, or anything. This could be the only trip through the universe our consciousnesses will be taking. The more we want it to be better the harder it is. The suffering stems from the desire. Accept it for what it is, come to terms with it and try and have some fun with it imo, this might be all there is. Other emergent properties in this universe vanish and never seem to return. Why couldn't we?
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hmmn


Registered: 01/09/13
Posts: 372
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Tropism]
#19395064 - 01/09/14 06:11 PM (10 years, 21 days ago) |
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Quote:
Tropism said: Suicide would be cake for me if I knew what was past this.
There might not be anything past this, or other timelines, realms, or anything. This could be the only trip through the universe our consciousnesses will be taking. The more we want it to be better the harder it is. The suffering stems from the desire. Accept it for what it is, come to terms with it and try and have some fun with it imo, this might be all there is. Other emergent properties in this universe vanish and never seem to return. Why couldn't we?
Hmmm...I see it similarly; life and death are both great mysteries. Death may be the end of our consciousness, and it may not. Nobody seems to know.
I hope that you're still alive and that you'll choose to continue living, InTheCosmos. You probably have a lot to offer the world, and there's a great wealth of experience to be had by you before you're done. Think of the things that could be! Life is utterly tragic, and in this moment we're constantly reminded of that...but it's also incredibly beautiful and profound. I hope you'll see this horrible experience through and experience beauty again.

If you'd like to talk more, please pm me; I'd be happy to talk by phone if you like, or to share resources that might help. If you're not interested, no worries. 
p.s. please enjoy this inspirational message from Carl Sagan
Edited by hmmn (01/09/14 06:12 PM)
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: hmmn]
#19395395 - 01/09/14 07:04 PM (10 years, 21 days ago) |
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What exactly does he have to offer the world? I hear that all the time and I haven't a clue as to what it could mean.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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skippyluvs
Always

Registered: 09/30/09
Posts: 420
Loc: Urth aka earth aka # 1 pi...
Last seen: 5 months, 13 days
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19395671 - 01/09/14 07:59 PM (10 years, 21 days ago) |
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If anyone has seen Alien Resurrection -
The part where character Joehner says "Earth man - what a shithole" pretty much sums up OP's point.
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hmmn


Registered: 01/09/13
Posts: 372
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19396994 - 01/10/14 01:27 AM (10 years, 21 days ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: What exactly does he have to offer the world? I hear that all the time and I haven't a clue as to what it could mean.
Every human being of reasonably sound body and mind has the potential to offer their kindness and understanding to others. 
Even you, Icelander!
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Icyus
KavitārkikasiṃHa



Registered: 11/07/13
Posts: 3,502
Loc: Inbetween.
Last seen: 8 years, 27 days
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: hmmn]
#19397358 - 01/10/14 05:15 AM (10 years, 21 days ago) |
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I have gotten a understanding of life and death... though I cannot voice it... it is very relative and thus.. maddening to think about...
You dies, always, and not. You get reborn and live immortal, and not. You change, thus you die, and are reborn. But who is it, this "you"? This identity? Might you be several people at once? Who is to say which one is the real you... then you may start thinking about what would happen to someone...
there are infinite versions of everyone, in every way possible.. then.. one might come to the conclusion there is a hard time saying what exactly happens to anyone at any time, really.. one must know which one of the one's that is the one in question for so to define who one may be observed...
-------------------- And thus begins the reverse-fusing of our one-dimentional understanding, and adds ever-expanding perspectives, in depth and number; splitting our perception, and in so doing, seemingly irrationally, creates yet more one-ness, with all that ever was, is and will ever be, streching across the infinite, inunderstood concept of everything, percievable and not.
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icyus]
#19397510 - 01/10/14 06:35 AM (10 years, 21 days ago) |
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Quote:
Icyus said: I have gotten a understanding of life and death... though I cannot voice it... it is very relative and thus.. maddening to think about...
You dies, always, and not. You get reborn and live immortal, and not. You change, thus you die, and are reborn. But who is it, this "you"? This identity? Might you be several people at once? Who is to say which one is the real you... then you may start thinking about what would happen to someone...
there are infinite versions of everyone, in every way possible.. then.. one might come to the conclusion there is a hard time saying what exactly happens to anyone at any time, really.. one must know which one of the one's that is the one in question for so to define who one may be observed...
when no words work, use no words.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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hmmn


Registered: 01/09/13
Posts: 372
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Guys...I think InTheCosmos may have killed himself.
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: hmmn]
#19397778 - 01/10/14 08:07 AM (10 years, 21 days ago) |
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Quote:
hmmn said: Guys...I think InTheCosmos may have killed himself. 
Cmon, this thread wasn't that bad.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: hmmn]
#19398195 - 01/10/14 10:08 AM (10 years, 21 days ago) |
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Quote:
hmmn said:
Quote:
Icelander said: What exactly does he have to offer the world? I hear that all the time and I haven't a clue as to what it could mean.
Every human being of reasonably sound body and mind has the potential to offer their kindness and understanding to others. 
Even you, Icelander!

BFD
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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hmmn


Registered: 01/09/13
Posts: 372
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19399773 - 01/10/14 03:45 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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I wasn't kidding...last things he said were days ago and were about killing himself.
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: hmmn]
#19400011 - 01/10/14 04:26 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Quote:
hmmn said: I wasn't kidding...last things he said were days ago and were about killing himself. 
Well Icelander was the one that encouraged him to man up and do it. He's to blame in my book.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: hmmn]
#19400316 - 01/10/14 05:24 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Quote:
hmmn said: I wasn't kidding...last things he said were days ago and were about killing himself. 
what's that got to do with what I asked? So you were basically saying that just because you were personally worried about him.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19400640 - 01/10/14 06:51 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said:
Quote:
hmmn said: I wasn't kidding...last things he said were days ago and were about killing himself. 
what's that got to do with what I asked? So you were basically saying that just because you were personally worried about him.
So if he was just frank and candid and said "I'm worried about you dude, I personally want you to seek professional help." Would you have taken issue with that, had there been no manipulation upon his sense of self worth?
Just curious
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: CosmicJoke] 1
#19400658 - 01/10/14 06:57 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Don't think so. But he bullshitted the guy imo and that doesn't cut it. When someone is on the edge and they are intelligent and looking for some help they can smell that kind of bs a mile off and it's a huge downer. At least that's how it's always felt to me. When I'm suicidal I don't want more lies or exaggerations and platitudes. I want the straight dope.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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hmmn


Registered: 01/09/13
Posts: 372
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19400660 - 01/10/14 06:58 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said:
Quote:
hmmn said: I wasn't kidding...last things he said were days ago and were about killing himself. 
what's that got to do with what I asked? So you were basically saying that just because you were personally worried about him.
Ummm...yes!? Am I alone in having concern for this guy who's clearly depressed and talking about killing himself? 
....
edit: I didn't bullshit anybody, man; I honestly believe what I said. Maybe it sounds like bullshit to some. I genuinely appreciate thoughtful criticism of my ideas as it helps me learn. I don't see what I said as any kind of lie, exaggeration, or platitude. It's my genuine belief about life as a human being. I've been a hopeless drug addict, I've made genuine suicide attempts in the past, and I'm very intelligent and extremely critical in my approach to life. Don't pretend I'm some new-age hope puking idiot who thinks his ideas are Gaia's gift to middle-aged women the world over; I'm not.
Edited by hmmn (01/10/14 07:03 PM)
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: hmmn]
#19400671 - 01/10/14 07:00 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Imo that does more harm than good. Read my last post above yours.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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hmmn


Registered: 01/09/13
Posts: 372
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19400705 - 01/10/14 07:09 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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It looks like the last time he was on was around when he replied after that guy posted that page about the dwarf who's made a great life for himself. That kind of shit could have easily put me over the edge into a genuine suicide attempt years ago.
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19400767 - 01/10/14 07:27 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: Don't think so. But he bullshitted the guy imo and that doesn't cut it. When someone is on the edge and they are intelligent and looking for some help they can smell that kind of bs a mile off and it's a huge downer. At least that's how it's always felt to me. When I'm suicidal I don't want more lies or exaggerations and platitudes. I want the straight dope. 
Well, why do you think he did that? We know he was worried, but why would he mask his feelings and create a marketing ploy for a desired outcome, rather than just express his worry?
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: hmmn]
#19400776 - 01/10/14 07:28 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Yup. I doubt he's really going to commit suicide but when people are in that space they need truth. At least I have when I've been there. They want to share how they are feeling and have that be acceptable. Not be told how they are feeling or what they should feel or that they are really really important when they know that's just a bunch of Bs.
I usually now just acknowledge how they are feeling and tell them I fully support them in any decision they feel they need to make. Then I might tell them that suicide is permanent so they should take their time and make sure it's really their best option. And imo sometimes it is.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19400845 - 01/10/14 07:45 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: Yup. I doubt he's really going to commit suicide but when people are in that space they need truth. At least I have when I've been there. They want to share how they are feeling and have that be acceptable. Not be told how they are feeling or what they should feel or that they are really really important when they know that's just a bunch of Bs.
I usually now just acknowledge how they are feeling and tell them I fully support them in any decision they feel they need to make. Then I might tell them that suicide is permanent so they should take their time and make sure it's really their best option. And imo sometimes it is.
Maybe it has to do with posturing rather than intimacy, where hmmn is afraid to express his fears....... so he lays on some sort of 'man up, you have value to the world' type trip. Well intentioned, but too neurotic for somebody who is already too crazy
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Well you got to be able to confront death if you are going to get through to a suicidal person imo. You have to openly acknowledge that and that what is driving them to suicide might actually be real and the actual case.
At this point in my life I really don't care that much who dies and when because I really really understand that it's going to happen and it's happening all the time even while we chat about it in front of our seemingly safe computer screens. I'm more ready for the reality of death than I've ever been. I think when someone tries to placate someone else around their death it's because they are terrified of the idea of death in general.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19401130 - 01/10/14 08:54 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: Well you got to be able to confront death if you are going to get through to a suicidal person imo. You have to openly acknowledge that and that what is driving them to suicide might actually be real and the actual case.
At this point in my life I really don't care that much who dies and when because I really really understand that it's going to happen and it's happening all the time even while we chat about it in front of our seemingly safe computer screens. I'm more ready for the reality of death than I've ever been. I think when someone tries to placate someone else around their death it's because they are terrified of the idea of death in general.
So to properly restate Ice's rules:
Rule #1 is to be open to the possibility that they might just be correct in their assertion, and that suicide is the best option for them.
Rule #2 is the outcome doesn't really matter, people have been around and dying for 7 million years now, it's small potatoes in the greater scheme of things...
Now what was that thing about death being permanent that you felt might be important to remind somebody of? How do you remind them that being dead limits a whole lot of possibilities (like all of them) without exacerbating their anxiety?
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Well ultimately it's survival of the fittest. If they can't handle the truth then tough shit. Remember the problem is theirs not yours. You're just giving them your thoughts because they asked.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19401185 - 01/10/14 09:05 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: Well ultimately it's survival of the fittest. If they can't handle the truth then tough shit. Remember the problem is theirs not yours. You're just giving them your thoughts because they asked.
Good point, so worrying about their welfare is separate from the reality of the situation, which is what you think they need.
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
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Most people just want to be heard imo. That's why most who post here about suicide don't do it.
I commiserate with them out of empathy. I've been there and still am in a way. So it's like if you play guitar it's more fun to talk about it with others who play. 
I'm not really worried about their welfare. That's their problem and my worry won't help them at all. I worry about my welfare and that's a full time job. Unfortunately it not any more helpful than my worrying about theirs.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19401241 - 01/10/14 09:19 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Well, there's a difference between wanting to be heard and wanting to hear a response I guess... People who do commit suicide seem to often leave some sort of note, they want the last word even. It's those who truly never want to hear from any of us again who actually go through with it (in my estimation at this moment).
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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hmmn


Registered: 01/09/13
Posts: 372
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I can't believe what I'm hearing; you people seem to have a very strange impression of who I am and what I've expressed that has little to no relationship to who I actually am and what I actually expressed. I think I'm done on this forum.
edit: most successful suicides leave no note.
Edited by hmmn (01/10/14 09:23 PM)
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: hmmn]
#19401279 - 01/10/14 09:28 PM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Quote:
hmmn said: I can't believe what I'm hearing; you people seem to have a very strange impression of who I am and what I've expressed that has little to no relationship to who I actually am and what I actually expressed. I think I'm done on this forum.
edit: most successful suicides leave no note.
Your remark is awfully self-centered. I don't think much of any conversation was revolved around you. I personally won't remember you. 
But your edit is a good point, I hadn't quoted statistics, just recalling a common motif to suicide. I'm curious about suicide
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
Edited by CosmicJoke (01/10/14 11:24 PM)
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greenterror
Stranger


Registered: 05/14/11
Posts: 786
Loc: North Carolina
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
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Quote:
InTheCosmos said: Suicide would be cake for me if I knew what was past this. Every good or bad feeling is pure perception. I get that. I cant get the bad perception out of anything though. Drugs and not being sober only help for a short time if at all for me. I dont really know if I believe its acceptable. All I can say is, everytime I think about dying, I think of suicide. Thats the only way I think of myself going out. I'd love to do it now, but I would want to wait for it to be a perfect time, to get the most reactions out of it. It's too hard to care at all anymore.
Peace is coming to earth in the near future, you wouldn't want to miss what is to come for humanity.
And coming from someone who's contemplated suicide and had a friend who's tried to kill himself, it's not cool, it put people through unnecessary pain. People do care about you, I do.
You came to this planet for a reason, why would you come here to just to kill yourself?
--------------------
https://soundcloud.com/dankm dank music
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Quote:
greenterror said: Peace is coming to earth in the near future, you wouldn't want to miss what is to come for humanity.
And coming from someone who's contemplated suicide and had a friend who's tried to kill himself, it's not cool, it put people through unnecessary pain. People do care about you, I do.
You came to this planet for a reason, why would you come here to just to kill yourself?
this should be good.
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: hmmn]
#19401976 - 01/11/14 12:56 AM (10 years, 20 days ago) |
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Quote:
hmmn said: I can't believe what I'm hearing; you people seem to have a very strange impression of who I am and what I've expressed that has little to no relationship to who I actually am and what I actually expressed. I think I'm done on this forum.
edit: most successful suicides leave no note.
You will not be missed.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
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Quote:
greenterror said:
Quote:
InTheCosmos said: Suicide would be cake for me if I knew what was past this. Every good or bad feeling is pure perception. I get that. I cant get the bad perception out of anything though. Drugs and not being sober only help for a short time if at all for me. I dont really know if I believe its acceptable. All I can say is, everytime I think about dying, I think of suicide. Thats the only way I think of myself going out. I'd love to do it now, but I would want to wait for it to be a perfect time, to get the most reactions out of it. It's too hard to care at all anymore.
Peace is coming to earth in the near future, you wouldn't want to miss what is to come for humanity.
And coming from someone who's contemplated suicide and had a friend who's tried to kill himself, it's not cool, it put people through unnecessary pain. People do care about you, I do.
You came to this planet for a reason, why would you come here to just to kill yourself?
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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absols
Stranger

Registered: 11/10/13
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Quote:
greenterror said: Peace is coming to earth in the near future, you wouldn't want to miss what is to come for humanity.
And coming from someone who's contemplated suicide and had a friend who's tried to kill himself, it's not cool, it put people through unnecessary pain. People do care about you, I do.
You came to this planet for a reason, why would you come here to just to kill yourself?
objective facts has nothing to do with subjective ones
for some environment of wars is much better ... people are not of getting something positive .. conscious is only about being free reality, the unik present being nothing to share with others conscious beings otherwise it is not interesting nor livable at all ...
Edited by absols (01/11/14 04:46 AM)
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soldatheero
lastirishman


Registered: 03/09/07
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Quote:
I'm pretty much done with my time on this earth. I hate how my life has become, I feel like the most worthless particle to ever exist. My problems are overwhelming and I cant over come my thoughts and emotions anymore. I have nobody. Honestly, what's the point?
If there really was no point in living would there really be a point in not living? seems like a contradiction when people say there is no pt in living therefore I will end it all. If life had no point you would just be truly apathetic and living would be no problem.
Seems more like you are disappointed with yourself and life, disappointed and dis-satisfied.. and in this you are definitely not alone. The times we live in are not what they are cracked up to be! People are fucked up and the world even more so..
You just have to accept that perhaps the perspective you have now is to an extent.. - shit and be brave and take your own life into your hands and hope that one day things will slowly get better. Even if your life is harsh you must have some form of enjoyment? at the least you can tap into the incredible mystery of your own existence and some sense of curiosity about what is going to happen with your life and the future of the world.
Just don't be hard on yourself and try to find your self-sufficient happy place.. Even if it is just you alone in your room and the shroomery drinking some tea!
-------------------- ..and may the zelda theme song be with you at all times, amen.
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absols
Stranger

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the contradiction is what you are saying .. when obviously you mean to lean on acceptance and bravery of hopes ... it means that you are for religions crap..
all religions are clear about the point being, death
christianity is about the death of the Christ as the source of all goods
and islam is about the death of everyone as the source of goodness of god
so the point in life is death for gods positive freedom
which show how individuals like humans have nothing to do with that, their means in being constant conscious beings, is the hell they cant take being forced to give as a thing consciously ... how they don't have the right to be free
so apathic ??? who can afford that now or anytime of humans rights ??
you surely know that the most reasons of suicide, is bankruptcy ... when people are very much aware of the decision they are making
so the point of death is complete, gods freedom and creatures unexisting conscious ... which confirm that only gods are conscious so their freedom the exclusive fact
nothing is absolutely superior to negative inferiority what is always down
then killing oneself is definitely a positive point end !
Edited by absols (01/11/14 06:45 AM)
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greenterror
Stranger


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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19404716 - 01/11/14 04:47 PM (10 years, 19 days ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said:
Quote:
greenterror said:
Quote:
InTheCosmos said: Suicide would be cake for me if I knew what was past this. Every good or bad feeling is pure perception. I get that. I cant get the bad perception out of anything though. Drugs and not being sober only help for a short time if at all for me. I dont really know if I believe its acceptable. All I can say is, everytime I think about dying, I think of suicide. Thats the only way I think of myself going out. I'd love to do it now, but I would want to wait for it to be a perfect time, to get the most reactions out of it. It's too hard to care at all anymore.
Peace is coming to earth in the near future, you wouldn't want to miss what is to come for humanity.
And coming from someone who's contemplated suicide and had a friend who's tried to kill himself, it's not cool, it put people through unnecessary pain. People do care about you, I do.
You came to this planet for a reason, why would you come here to just to kill yourself?

Your judgement only applies to yourself. Wait and see, this society does not have long.
--------------------
https://soundcloud.com/dankm dank music
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
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Your word isn't good enough friend. There's no real evidence for your belief unfortunately. You and I would both love to see it but the evidence isn't there. In fact a realistic honest look at things would unfortunately imo and experience show the opposite descending on humanity with accelerating speed.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
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Loc: South Florida
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I hear the pain, but I have no idea what your obstacles are, or whether you have sought out any assistance in teasing apart the knots that have spelled suffering for you. I take it on principle that violence is not the solution to existence, and I have made it my purpose to find and live the middle way between the extremes. Some people may say that this sounds too bland, but in the Qabalistic sense it is a Middle Pillar path, straight up the Tree with minimal drama. We all bring drama to ourselves. Some people feed on it, but I see that as being like some kind of psychic parasite. It reminds me of an original Star Trek (Day of the Dove) when some pin-wheel-looking alien trapped Klingons with Federation people so they'd perpetually hate each other, fight, die, and resurrect to perpetually continue the violent drama which fed the alien.
I don't know if you even have the patience to read, but Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now can really reframe (a therapy term) one's predicament. If the words which were superbly arranged work for you half as well as they do for me, a whole new perspective can arise in which you can much better prioritize your problems. Then, instead of being overwhelmed by the idea of multiple problems, one simply acts on each prioritized problem at a time. I learned long long ago that it is easier on the nerves to act, no matter the difficulty, than to worry. Anxiety is a crippling emotion that I know all too well. It can then result in depression because we become sick of being anxious all the time. Suicidal ideation is born from this depression. It is not a consequence of a healthy perspective. Short of increasingly painful, debilitating, irreversible terminal illness, it is unreasonable to take one's life. One can always make something out of one's life if one is not imprisoned. Sometimes we just need assistance.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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hmmn


Registered: 01/09/13
Posts: 372
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Uh...in case anybody wants to know, InTheCosmos said he's doing a little better and isn't planning on killing himself or reading this thread anytime soon. 
I think it'd be best to just let the thread sink.
Edited by hmmn (01/13/14 02:37 AM)
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,534
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: hmmn]
#19411147 - 01/13/14 03:53 AM (10 years, 18 days ago) |
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good news! also smart
--------------------
_ 🧠 _
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Yeah your posts often drive me to the edge.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Tropism
ChasingTail


Registered: 09/12/09
Posts: 2,039
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icelander]
#19463289 - 01/23/14 03:58 PM (10 years, 7 days ago) |
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Here's to InTheCosmos, who either went out with balls of steel or just realized this place is filled with loons and fucked off. Either way, here here!
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InTheCosmos
Observer



Registered: 06/27/13
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Tropism]
#23487100 - 07/28/16 07:25 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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So they said to only re-open this thread unless it has relevance, and I feel it does. I never made any attempts, and life is pretty solid at this point. I haven't logged on since this thread (almost 3 years). Just weird to read and see where I was then compared to now is really something. I'm genuinely almost embarrassed with how I acted and how I may have portrayed myself, even though it was simply just emotion. I read my old threads and it's just amusing to really see my prgression and change as a person altogether, if anybody happened to care or is/was curious. Anyway, yeah cool shit dudes
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majicman30
naturejunkie



Registered: 09/22/14
Posts: 749
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NO!!!!!
-------------------- [ /url ]    [url=http://files.shroomery.org/files/16-12/893004217-IMG_4581.
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majicman30
naturejunkie



Registered: 09/22/14
Posts: 749
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Damn I did it again old thread opening cool your progress is Good right cool. Peace & Love to all.
-------------------- [ /url ]    [url=http://files.shroomery.org/files/16-12/893004217-IMG_4581.
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pineninja
Dream Weaver



Registered: 08/17/14
Posts: 12,468
Loc: South
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Just read it and tbh was genuinely confused and somewhat disgusted by some of the rhetoric and self indulgent bullshit lacking perspective from a few. I'm glad that with a break and progression you have been able to bring yourself back into focus and I'm glad your still around.
-------------------- Just a fool on the hill.
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InTheCosmos
Observer



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Re: I hate this place. [Re: majicman30] 1
#23487165 - 07/28/16 07:48 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I mean i'd be lyin' if i said I cared about the relevance or convenience of whoever is on the thread, really haha. old thread opening 2.0 I opened it for myself mostly, with exception to anybody who may be feeling like i was long ago. But yeah same here with how some peoples "advice" and views are towards the topic, as I was quiet confused with some of the replies as well. But thanks haha, glad to still be here too.
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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i really like this thread. it has a full range of emotions
it made me wonder, how many of you have been locked in a cage (jail/prison, or a literal cage with no way to willingly escape it)? what about the older members that may have been drafted in vietnam and forced to serve against their will?
i feel a lot of the "happy-go-lucky" "perception is everything" comments come from a place of never being held or forced against one's will, for a duration of more than a few moments. the reality that one MAY NOT have full control over one's life or actions significantly skews current/future perception
Cosmos: i'm currently in a state similar to your first post. i have been in and out of this state all throughout my life. i once tried to suffocate myself around age 9, but failed as the weighted object fell off when i passed out. i'm fortunate enough to exist (and still struggle) without any sort of brain damage. i'm not at a point of actually trying to end my life, at this point, as i know contentment/happiness can be achieved, but i've given it a lot of thought in the last 13 months since losing my best friend and much of my freedoms/way of life.
for keeping on, but don't ever forget. it's your life; you choose to do with it what you will
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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Nwbreh
Stranger
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Icyus]
#23488991 - 07/29/16 11:14 AM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Icyus said:
Quote:
presentusthefuture said: Jesus...
You guys need to seriously get off the internet. Right now. And go outside. Just take a break.
You need to realize that life is only as enjoyable or depressing as you make it.
There will always be ups and downs in life. Always. That is a given. But just as you slide down into the valley of depression, know that there is a new day just over the horizon with new joys, new possibilities, and new surprises. Where there is life, there is hope.
Instead of sooking on an internet forum, moaning "poor me, life sucks. I just want to blow my brains out. Why was I born!? Wahh" Why don't you pick yourself up out of your shitty situation and do something about it? You can't expect life to just give you constant satisfaction. Go find new joys, new loves. Go visit somebody that you care about. Practice a hobby that you have. Self-improvement really does wonders for depression.
But DO NOT rely on drugs as your main source of joy. That is a slippery slope my friends.
Christ, this forum is just full of whiny little pessimists. Either that or juvenile hippies. It's kind of pathetic...
</endrant>
Why did you respond that to me? You are anyway emitting bad vibes... stop it, or you will start coming late for everything..
How are those bad vibes? That's pretty solid advice imo. You're just being a sensitive hippy. Locking your mind up on the internet bitching about your problems is not the way to improve yourself.
Separately I'd like to say; I'm really surprised at the amount of weak minded people on this forum. Psychedelics are one of the most powerful tools for personal development, but as can be seen on this forum if not used correctly it also leaves people mentally crippled.
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InTheCosmos
Observer



Registered: 06/27/13
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Re: I hate this place. [Re: Nwbreh]
#23490062 - 07/29/16 06:19 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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Well it is some solid advice if i'm being honest, and there really is no point in complaining unless you really do plan on bettering yourself. At least that. But by all means, complaining isn't wrong, if a person wants to express their feelings then they have the right to do so. Same as how a person has the right to express how happy they are. There is no wrong emotion. "as can be seen on this forum" lol. There is no proof that any shit-brained person on this thread is miserable do to the misuse of a psychedelic drug. That's an awful assumption.
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zzripz
Stranger


Registered: 12/23/08
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When I have the Blues, the thing I hate most is when people I talk to become patronizing and turn into my doctor etc and tell me 'what I should do'. I MUCH prefer others who are fked up and tell their fked up stories. I feel far more at ease with them than the smug hypcrite types who tell you to be 'more positive' and all that shte.
of course other may say what helped them and that can influence you, but not the attitude that whoever is so 'sorted' and feels they have the right to put you down
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InTheCosmos
Observer



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Re: I hate this place. [Re: zzripz]
#23493984 - 07/30/16 10:21 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
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I totally agree. Most of the time, people don't get better from people who aren't understanding enough and think they have everything figured out. People who aren't feeling the same way and try their hardest to lighten you up can make it worse than F'd up people who sink down with you and help dig in and get to the roots of what's really going on. Everybody is different though, and for reason, some actually think that somebody who isn't feeling the same way and patronizing them is actually hepfull.
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zzripz
Stranger


Registered: 12/23/08
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and the extreme of that is the doctor and shrink and psychologist who either push drugs on you or 'talking cures'--of course these 'experts' support the very oppressive set up that MAKES you 'hate this place'! they are like its gatekeepers
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
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When we're miserable, we don't want to be around positive people because it triggers our self-loathing.
Like when we're angry. We love our anger so much we seek people to help fuel our anger.
We need to accept the fact we are attracted to suffering. Misery feeds our ego.
Look at all of the suffering we enjoy in our entertainment!
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said: Look at all of the suffering we enjoy in our entertainment!
Yeah, this gets me pretty much everytime I'm exposed to the trailer of the latest Hollywood blockbuster.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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