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Memories



Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 10,484
Loc: Suwannee River
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Fading Interest 1
#19385632 - 01/07/14 10:46 PM (10 years, 23 days ago) |
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While internally, I have never stopped the unending war of laying siege to any idea that stand (with passionate barrage of questions), my desire to turn this rampage of thought into anything of greater meaning has faded.
The sea of questions can certainly aid me in beginning to exhibit different behavioral patterns that I might find preferable, but I feel like the ego-maniacal delusion of believing myself to be some sort of anti-mystical prophet, capable of producing ideas that would somehow never fade in their relativity has faded into memories of youthful folly.
The older I grow, the less significant the vibrations of those blowing wind around me seems to become, a perpetual melding into one giant hum of chaotic interactions. And as I continuously find myself further enveloped by this hum, the less I care about trying to elaborate on its intricacies for the gain of status, and the more I care about trying to experience the most good feels possible.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Fading Interest [Re: Memories]
#19385792 - 01/07/14 11:19 PM (10 years, 23 days ago) |
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Yet here you are trying to elaborate on your thought process.
"Once you're in you can't get out" or so it seems.
Things do get more mellow maybe though. Or not. Depends on the day.
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Memories



Registered: 05/09/12
Posts: 10,484
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Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: Fading Interest [Re: Icelander] 1
#19385874 - 01/07/14 11:39 PM (10 years, 23 days ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: Yet here you are trying to elaborate on your thought process.
Good point, but it is with nowhere near the passion with which i used to approach such subjects. A few years ago, a comment in disagreement with me required addressing and was enough to send my heart rate through the roof and my mind in a defensive spiral.
Or maybe, the passion is still there, but over time I find myself with less defensible ideas/ideals to be passionate about.
You are right that my current behavior is just a different gradient of what I originally decried as youthful folly.
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Rahz
Alive Again



Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,230
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Re: Fading Interest [Re: Memories] 1
#19385990 - 01/08/14 12:04 AM (10 years, 23 days ago) |
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You're just developing a more balanced way of approaching reason. You may have noticed that vigor and faith don't make you more right. I've learned not to trust my thoughts, mull things over, forget about them and let them come back, etc.
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Fading Interest [Re: Memories]
#19386087 - 01/08/14 12:36 AM (10 years, 23 days ago) |
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Quote:
Memories said:
Quote:
Icelander said: Yet here you are trying to elaborate on your thought process.
Good point, but it is with nowhere near the passion with which i used to approach such subjects. A few years ago, a comment in disagreement with me required addressing and was enough to send my heart rate through the roof and my mind in a defensive spiral.
Or maybe, the passion is still there, but over time I find myself with less defensible ideas/ideals to be passionate about.
You are right that my current behavior is just a different gradient of what I originally decried as youthful folly.
And that's good, really really good.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,534
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Re: Fading Interest [Re: Memories]
#19386220 - 01/08/14 01:19 AM (10 years, 23 days ago) |
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once the plaque sets in, you need to get a good scraper to get it off. or not
ideas can be like a coral reef in which one layer of encrustation builds on top of the empty remains of the last
thank god for the angel fish
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absols
Stranger

Registered: 11/10/13
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Re: Fading Interest [Re: Memories]
#19386533 - 01/08/14 04:48 AM (10 years, 23 days ago) |
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Quote:
Memories said: While internally, I have never stopped the unending war of laying siege to any idea that stand (with passionate barrage of questions), my desire to turn this rampage of thought into anything of greater meaning has faded.
The sea of questions can certainly aid me in beginning to exhibit different behavioral patterns that I might find preferable, but I feel like the ego-maniacal delusion of believing myself to be some sort of anti-mystical prophet, capable of producing ideas that would somehow never fade in their relativity has faded into memories of youthful folly.
The older I grow, the less significant the vibrations of those blowing wind around me seems to become, a perpetual melding into one giant hum of chaotic interactions. And as I continuously find myself further enveloped by this hum, the less I care about trying to elaborate on its intricacies for the gain of status, and the more I care about trying to experience the most good feels possible.

for me it is the opposite effect, seeing how far all is evil and exclusively through pervert powers make me negative, and that is why I of course loose total interest in anything .. but then there is oneself still, which becomes like a hole that can never be filled back to its normal setting ways and rights of being, while it is the only present that is still there for me
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



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Re: Fading Interest [Re: absols]
#19386703 - 01/08/14 07:02 AM (10 years, 23 days ago) |
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That is one of your better constructed posts from the standpoint of my being able to ( i believe) understand it.
It's why I also have lost interest in almost everything human and almost everything in general as I extend the actions of humanity to the actions of nature itself. It's fucked up imo but as you say, there it is. 
I don't know but when you put it short and sweet into just a paragraph like that it was pretty clear for me. Might just be the nature of this one response though.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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absols
Stranger

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thank you I will never learn how to use those icons .. lol
thank you for what it is those paragraphs that everyone hates me for ... as if they are kind of abusive will towards what is known having something right from being themselves, while willing before anything to force them to not exist for themselves ..
did you see how I am rated ?? I wish you can say hi .. which would easily erase some others voices on my page .. merci beaucoup ..
Edited by absols (01/08/14 07:41 AM)
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Fading Interest [Re: absols]
#19386777 - 01/08/14 07:45 AM (10 years, 23 days ago) |
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I rarely check ratings but I can just imagine. I've opted out of the rating system and I suggest you do the same. It's kind of a childish high school popularity contest imo anyway. I've never missed it even though I had good ratings myself.
And if I may add, I think many people have trouble with your attitude about the fact they have trouble understanding you. Instead of acknowledging the problem or issue you attacked them and arrogantly (imo) made statements like "there is no better or clearer poster than I am here". That certainly didn't make you any friends. I certainly thought it was a stupid way to approach the issue. But to each his own I say.  .
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Tropism
ChasingTail


Registered: 09/12/09
Posts: 2,039
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Re: Fading Interest [Re: Memories] 1
#19386779 - 01/08/14 07:46 AM (10 years, 23 days ago) |
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Just turn those ratings off, absols. They don't help anything.
Quote:
Memories said: While internally, I have never stopped the unending war of laying siege to any idea that stand (with passionate barrage of questions), my desire to turn this rampage of thought into anything of greater meaning has faded.
The sea of questions can certainly aid me in beginning to exhibit different behavioral patterns that I might find preferable, but I feel like the ego-maniacal delusion of believing myself to be some sort of anti-mystical prophet, capable of producing ideas that would somehow never fade in their relativity has faded into memories of youthful folly.
The older I grow, the less significant the vibrations of those blowing wind around me seems to become, a perpetual melding into one giant hum of chaotic interactions. And as I continuously find myself further enveloped by this hum, the less I care about trying to elaborate on its intricacies for the gain of status, and the more I care about trying to experience the most good feels possible.

Great post, man. Well put. Stuff the cracks of moments with meaning and reap as much as you can.
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: Fading Interest [Re: Tropism]
#19386863 - 01/08/14 08:21 AM (10 years, 23 days ago) |
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-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Tropism
ChasingTail


Registered: 09/12/09
Posts: 2,039
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absols
Stranger

Registered: 11/10/13
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it is not each its own when it is about truth and lies, edges of existence ways
in true existence, anything matter and is right objectively as it is
while I never talk highly about myself but when I am replying to abusive attacks
I didn't mean that I care about ratings at all, I don't even answer that, but I don't understand why someone would insult another at his page
so I meant if you could erase abstractly what hmm said about me by being the last one instead of him, just by saying hi like what I am a normal being
it is incredible how someone keep insulting another on a private note because he is not English, like he must learn it .. merde i left school long time ago .. it is just an excuse to insult another for no reason, to make a general statement like of another hitting his persona rights and image morally it matters to me
Edited by absols (01/08/14 10:19 AM)
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Memories



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Re: Fading Interest [Re: Rahz] 1
#19387370 - 01/08/14 10:46 AM (10 years, 23 days ago) |
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Quote:
Rahz said: You're just developing a more balanced way of approaching reason. You may have noticed that vigor and faith don't make you more right. I've learned not to trust my thoughts, mull things over, forget about them and let them come back, etc.
I think I knew that vigor and faith did nothing to validate my thoughts.
I think my problem was that I was hung up on a search for some sort of meta-narrative to life. When I soon realized that there probably were no true meta-narratives, I fixated on said realization to the point where I considered thoughts not related to existential angst to be emotionally shallow.
I feel like I basically made wallowing in my own angst my meta-narrative.
Now my focus is on feeling good instead of feeling intellectually obligated to stomp my feet in vain.
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
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Re: Fading Interest [Re: Memories]
#19387485 - 01/08/14 11:09 AM (10 years, 23 days ago) |
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-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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absols
Stranger

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Re: Fading Interest [Re: Memories]
#19387816 - 01/08/14 11:54 AM (10 years, 23 days ago) |
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the idea of feeling good to me is wrong.. like you mean to be another then yourself .. everyone knows that feelings are conditions of awareness meant to never be looked at as being relative individual freedom rights.. so awareness meant to always be through feelings.. like animals conditioning ways regarding what you want from them to look like doing
but when consciously you choose to feel being, to me it means that you enjoy not being real .. as if you enjoy the plural choice of being..
a lot of people make that choice.. that is how everything cant be but negative
when no one is real, present sense is what anyone might get .. so what could one get but to kill others and himself ??
gods as absolute entities, see profits to bargain our relative freedom right for them to be the source of all absolutely .. which is win win situation for them and loose loose for us ... so it is more understandable that they would choose to be opportunist and opposed to truth
but being mortal humans we cant have any interest in being humans
so being should have been more consciously true ... unfortunately it is nt shown objectively because of evil one god
but in truth, I am sure that a lot of humans are suffering from being right they are constantly forced to being negative and they have to hide consciously and shut off to avoid being worse
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White Beard

Registered: 08/13/11
Posts: 6,325
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Re: Fading Interest [Re: Memories]
#19389821 - 01/08/14 06:17 PM (10 years, 22 days ago) |
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I find my interest doesn't really fade, it more just changes from one thing to the next. Someone who can hold their interest on one specific thing for a while has developed their concentration. Concentration is just like any other skill; it requires practice.
Edit: Fading is actually a good word. Fading from one interest to the next seems pretty accurate to me.
Edited by White Beard (01/08/14 06:41 PM)
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Quote:
White Beard said: I find my interest doesn't really fade, it more just changes from one thing to the next. Someone who can hold their interest on one specific thing for a while has developed their concentration. Concentration is just like any other skill; it requires practice.
Concentration/Stagnation Different sides of the same coin
Definitely agree though, at least to the extent of my current experience. It seems that interest continually moves and one needs to work on balancing it, sometimes its appropriate to be active and sometimes its appropriate to be an observer. I'm often tempted to define myself in some way as this or that, but have found that in most areas its better to just pace things and go with the moment.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,534
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I like fading forward, like falling forward when I walk
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