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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



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Familiarity breeds contempt?
#19376040 - 01/06/14 06:58 AM (10 years, 25 days ago) |
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I remember when I was a very young man. It was a very difficult time in my life. I was still at home and home was very very hellish. I remember I had a list of several things that I felt would save my life and make it worth living if I could only accomplish them. I hung them out like a carrot in front of my nose to keep me going.
Well within a dozen or more years I had accomplished them all. I should then have been eternally happy but that didn't happen. I just had to create a new list. And on and on up to now. .
Why do you think that happened?
Let me put this another way. I do some bird watching. The Scrub Jay is a very beautiful blue bird. But being in the Corvid family (with the crow and raven) it's very intelligent and somewhat large and does not have a beautiful song. It tends to push other birds around and out of my bird feeders to take it's pick of the offerings. Now my neighbor who is from the East had never seen one and was floored by how beautiful they were. She was always commenting on how beautiful they were and how lucky we were to have a pair nesting at our site. Now she complains because their sound keeps her awake in the mornings and has no use for them at all and has moved on to other colorful birds to be wowed by.
It's the same thing as my story and it seems to happen all the time.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


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Re: Familiarity breeds contempt? [Re: Icelander]
#19376129 - 01/06/14 07:36 AM (10 years, 25 days ago) |
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I think that happened because humans are problem solvers by nature. The solution for me is to locate my part of the drama and fulfill it - accept your humanity, solve your problems. This is where the hero emerges, imo. While it doesn't mean you won't find more problems, they'll be better problems than the original bellyaching back at home in the Midwest - if you hadn't solved that, you'd really have problems by now 
Edit: As for your neighbor, this one is one me:

99c or less from the dollar store.
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
Edited by CosmicJoke (01/06/14 07:46 AM)
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Icelander
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Re: Familiarity breeds contempt? [Re: CosmicJoke]
#19376160 - 01/06/14 07:46 AM (10 years, 25 days ago) |
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But in the second example she's not solving any problems. I think there is more to this phenomenon.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


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Re: Familiarity breeds contempt? [Re: Icelander]
#19376170 - 01/06/14 07:50 AM (10 years, 25 days ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: But in the second example she's not solving any problems. I think there is more to this phenomenon.
I do it at times, I have real convoluted work arounds for things I haven't taken the time to understand and properly solve. When you're lazy, you get what you get.
Edit: Her complaining about the birds is some kind of consolation to her, wouldn't you think? She is problem solving, it's just not very effective.
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
Edited by CosmicJoke (01/06/14 08:00 AM)
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Repertoire89
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Re: Familiarity breeds contempt? [Re: Icelander]
#19376188 - 01/06/14 08:00 AM (10 years, 25 days ago) |
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My goals seem to shift over time, there's really no way around it as one is accomplished. Nothing to do but do something. I don't think that comes from contempt at the moment, as part of those goals involve feeding myself.
Applying this to music, my goals are constantly shifting and adjusting not only for moving forward but as you're suggesting - to keep up interest. Its a very difficult balance and most musicians fail miserably at it (referring to big names from various genres)
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Icelander
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Re: Familiarity breeds contempt? [Re: Repertoire89]
#19376197 - 01/06/14 08:02 AM (10 years, 25 days ago) |
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Music is a good example. I can hear a favorite song so many times than I avoid it like the plague. It actually bugs me.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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CosmicJoke
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Re: Familiarity breeds contempt? [Re: Icelander]
#19376201 - 01/06/14 08:04 AM (10 years, 25 days ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: Music is a good example. I can hear a favorite song so many times than I avoid it like the plague. It actually bugs me.
Oh, sometimes LSD helps me hear music with clean ears again, when I have that problem.
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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Repertoire89
Cat



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Re: Familiarity breeds contempt? [Re: CosmicJoke]
#19376232 - 01/06/14 08:16 AM (10 years, 25 days ago) |
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Yeah it works sometimes, time helps too but sometimes it takes years. Change in general really. Its fascinating how much change is necessary to keep things moving
Over the past few years I've gone through easily 1000 albums (some binders would contain a few hundred cds a piece), yet when it comes time for listening there's only a handful at any given time which would interest me. That handful changes by the week and sometimes nothing gets me going.
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Icelander
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Re: Familiarity breeds contempt? [Re: CosmicJoke]
#19376244 - 01/06/14 08:19 AM (10 years, 25 days ago) |
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Quote:
CosmicJoke said:
Quote:
Icelander said: Music is a good example. I can hear a favorite song so many times than I avoid it like the plague. It actually bugs me.
Oh, sometimes LSD helps me hear music with clean ears again, when I have that problem.
Yes of course but why does it happen in the first place?
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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sprinkles
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Re: Familiarity breeds contempt? [Re: CosmicJoke]
#19376258 - 01/06/14 08:23 AM (10 years, 25 days ago) |
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very cool icelander.
interesting what CosmicJoke said. That explains why i self sabotage when everything's going well. I always thought it was because I'm a fucking idiot. Maybe I just need problems to solve.
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Icyus
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Re: Familiarity breeds contempt? [Re: Icelander]
#19376260 - 01/06/14 08:23 AM (10 years, 25 days ago) |
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Google? I once had so much earwax, I used a eaplug to hear music and ruined it...
-------------------- And thus begins the reverse-fusing of our one-dimentional understanding, and adds ever-expanding perspectives, in depth and number; splitting our perception, and in so doing, seemingly irrationally, creates yet more one-ness, with all that ever was, is and will ever be, streching across the infinite, inunderstood concept of everything, percievable and not.
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CosmicJoke
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Re: Familiarity breeds contempt? [Re: Icelander]
#19376268 - 01/06/14 08:25 AM (10 years, 25 days ago) |
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I'm just playing with ya. Take for example when you first left home and made it out West, I bet it was pretty brilliant, no? The memories of those moments were so high because by comparison the rest of your life was much lower. Now you have to find that sense of freshness, newness, intensity in your every day life, without the peaks and valleys, a plateau. It's a much different problem.
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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redgreenvines
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Re: Familiarity breeds contempt? [Re: Icelander] 2
#19376289 - 01/06/14 08:31 AM (10 years, 25 days ago) |
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you could say, that having solved the problems you perceived in youth, you reached a plateau in which the tide of malaise was enough to chase you into the mountains
and now that you are in the mountains, the corvids have introduced themselves to you.
Those corvids can be great teachers.
Now you have to solve the corvid problem which I think you articulated is "they noisily obstruct the sweet little birds who want to eat at your feeders, and have reduced your chances of mating with your neighbor"
So you have to contrive a corvid perch restriction apparatus and attach that to your feeders or rebuild your feeders such that they allow smaller birds to perch but not larger ones.
your neighbor will then be impressed with your masculine prowess and begin to spread her wings for you.
the song goes on.
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


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You stole my metaphor! But nailed the cycle of life as far as I see it.
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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Icelander
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Re: Familiarity breeds contempt? [Re: CosmicJoke]
#19376391 - 01/06/14 08:54 AM (10 years, 25 days ago) |
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Quote:
CosmicJoke said: I'm just playing with ya. Take for example when you first left home and made it out West, I bet it was pretty brilliant, no? The memories of those moments were so high because by comparison the rest of your life was much lower. Now you have to find that sense of freshness, newness, intensity in your every day life, without the peaks and valleys, a plateau. It's a much different problem.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Mr Person


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Re: Familiarity breeds contempt? [Re: Icelander]
#19376402 - 01/06/14 08:57 AM (10 years, 25 days ago) |
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Isn't this the same reason billionaires keep gathering way more money than they or their families could ever spend in a lifetime? The same urge that drives athletes to use drugs and other artificial means to push themselves beyond the natural limits of the human body? The original sin if you ask me.
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redgreenvines
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Re: Familiarity breeds contempt? [Re: Icelander]
#19376403 - 01/06/14 08:57 AM (10 years, 25 days ago) |
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I think the single most operative word (in this) is "breeds"
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Kickle
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Re: Familiarity breeds contempt? [Re: Icelander]
#19376482 - 01/06/14 09:19 AM (10 years, 25 days ago) |
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Maybe this is an illustration of willful ignorance more than anything. Similar to when an idea sounds great on paper but not in reality. Its usually because only certain aspects of life are actually being examined. When looking at the bird your neighbor fixated on one quality and became enamored. As the familiarity set in the other qualities became more apparent due to the fixation losing power. This would likely be true for your goals as well.
I don't know if familiarity breeds contempt as much as familiarity reveals qualities we prefer not to acknowledge or accept. Another perspective to the pile.
-------------------- Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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CosmicJoke
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Quote:
redgreenvines said: I think the single most operative word (in this) is "breeds"
Sure, you breed livestock. It's organized and controlled. The expression isn't "Familiarity shocks and persuades contempt". What is recreation, and do our expectations of re-creating desired results achieved in the past muddle up our experience of what's happening in the moment?
I'll be seeing The Secret Chiefs play soon in town, though I've already seen them live once before. I have the day off, and I think I'll put as much faith in satisfaction into every little bit of the day, from my first cup of coffee to riding my bike in the morning, finding some heady nugs, or good beers if none, seeing what my friends are up to, etc.
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


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Posts: 10,848
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Re: Familiarity breeds contempt? [Re: CosmicJoke]
#19376594 - 01/06/14 10:02 AM (10 years, 25 days ago) |
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I love this clip from the film Adaptation
John Laroche: Then one morning, I woke up and said, "Fuck fish." I renounce fish, I will never set foot in that ocean again. That's how much "fuck fish." That was 17 years ago and I have never stuck so much as a toe in that ocean. And I love the ocean.
Susan Orlean: But why?
John Laroche: Done with fish.
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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