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Lynnch
Strangerer



Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,886
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Re: Moving On.. Is This Selfish? [Re: topdog82]
#19372252 - 01/05/14 10:41 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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So, you broke up with her, she moved home, things were good. Then why the fuck did you drive out and pick her up!?!? It never occurred to you in those 36 hours what was happening? She is not your responsibility dude. If my ex calls me 12 hrs away and says she's getting kicked out, the answer is 'bummer, good luck with that, bye.'
You made her your responsibility when you went out and picked her up. I really don't know what to tell ya. Drive her back home? Buy her a bus ticket? Dump her off at a homeless shelter? You really fucked yourself good here.
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empty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
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Re: Moving On.. Is This Selfish? [Re: Lynnch]
#19372441 - 01/05/14 11:30 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Well, I broke up with her and she said she was moving back home. I decided I wanted to spend the last few days with her. In that time we had an acid trip where I laid out all of my concerns for why she needed to go. The biggest reason was because she was not doing anything progressive. I agreed that if she could figure her shit out ie. I wouldn't have to take care of her, that I would be down to keep her in my life. She was going to go home and make a bunch of money there (I have the capability to generate a huge amount of income out-of-state, ya digg?) and get connections set up so she could move back here and live comfortably. I was going to set her to get paid so well. Then she calls me and says she is getting kicked out. For better or worse (normally worse), I have an immense amount of protector energy within. So I went to pick her up. By the time I got to her house, I had found out she wasn't getting kicked out like she said, but was actually just "really uncomfortable." I had already driven 14 hours for the goal of picking her up and so I brought her back with me anyway. Yes, not a great decision. But it kind of makes sense right?
Actions speak louder than words. Now I know to be more aware when somebody's actions do not match their words.
Also, don't eat acid with somebody that you are trying to be less connected with.
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Lynnch
Strangerer



Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,886
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Re: Moving On.. Is This Selfish? [Re: empty space]
#19372526 - 01/05/14 11:49 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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So, you didn't actually break up with her at all. Might as well be honest with yourself.
Also, I don't think making your love for her conditional on how much money she's making to be that great of an idea. That's one of those things that should be assumed she's going to do simply because she's a human adult, adults get their shit together. By giving in to her, you are just perpetuating that lifestyle.
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empty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
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Re: Moving On.. Is This Selfish? [Re: Lynnch]
#19376819 - 01/06/14 11:10 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Lynnch said: So, you didn't actually break up with her at all. Might as well be honest with yourself.
The realization that I had the power to end things completely cleared my head. I have been the most confident I've ever been since that moment and it hasn't wavered in the slightest. The words 'breaking up' represents a variable in the equation of my life. You could call it fishing and it wouldn't change the moment's significance.
Quote:
Lynnch said: Also, I don't think making your love for her conditional on how much money she's making to be that great of an idea. That's one of those things that should be assumed she's going to do simply because she's a human adult, adults get their shit together. By giving in to her, you are just perpetuating that lifestyle.
Pretty much that is how I feel but you said it in way fewer words. The money isn't important -- it is just a means to an end. I really just want her to take care of herself. The reason I'm frustrated about the money is because I was going to set her up to make a few thousand dollars every week or two by barely doing anything which would have allowed her to take care of herself.
A mutual friend of ours died in a car accident yesterday. I don't really know how to proceed. I just want to cuddle up with her. Feels bad man.....
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Edited by empty space (01/06/14 11:28 AM)
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