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OfflineMalachi
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Registered: 06/19/02
Posts: 1,294
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zwan/omens/synchronicity/I declare myself of faith/born2love
    #1936763 - 09/21/03 01:55 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I've been experiencing a great many signs lately, "omens" if you will... like little synchronicities or lessons that I learn from really visual/ "real" life type things... I hope someone knows what I mean.

so I started listening to this band called zwan about 3 or 4 days ago, I don't know if I can really trust my memory... this really amazing girl let me borrow her copy of their cd, and I kept meaning to return it to her before she left to case her muse (she's a poet) on the road, but circumstances prevented it's return... long stories all, but not what I want to talk about.

I want to talk about this sign. I really like this band zwan, they "speak" to me in what I consider to be a very profound manner. and they broke up on or extremely close to the time that I found them.

the reason I didn't get the CD to this girl before she left was I was ameliorating a broken relationship with a friend who I had a huge fight with before he left to another city, he transferred. I came to a few conclusions about this... that sometimes the ostensible reasons for things happening aren't what's important, that change can have unforseen (but positive) consequences. I think it was a really good thing for us both (the male friend, not the poet) to give each other some space, some room for personal growth, as we used to hang out with each other too much (we share a similar animosity towards the dominate culture of our region) and I think we both benefited greatly from the separation.

now, this cd that I still have (and the cd I gave her, a wookiefoot cd that I was listening to all the time before she lent me this zwan cd) are like attachments in a way, like I'm still connected to her, which is something that makes me feel good.

the point? well, I related this all to the smashing pumpkins breaking up, thinking that change was necessary, that if they hadn't zwan would've never been formed... I'd never have gotten to hear these songs that I find so meaningful... like the relationship with my friend who transferred, like this quasi-separation I went through with this poet girl (quasi because this exchange of music is a connection that didn't exist before she left) are all testiments to this truth, that change is a good value.

that zwan itself broke up, that I'll never hear these songs live, is (to me) a sign that change is not the supreme value. some things are meant to be eternal. billy corgan said that he didn't feel the sense of family with zwan that he did with the pumpkins.

so... value your families, kids, not your necessarily your biological ones, but your real family, however you happen to find it.

(yeah, I decided to post this here... I put it in music/lit/art too, but I thought it might be good here as well, as many people seem to stick to one particular section of this board)


--------------------
The ultimate meaning of our being can only be fulfilled in the paradoxical leap beyond the tragic-demonic frustration. It is a leap from our side, but it is the self-surrendering presence of the Ground of Being from the other side.
- Paul Tillich


Edited by Malachi (09/21/03 01:57 AM)


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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: zwan/omens/synchronicity/I declare myself of faith/born2love [Re: Malachi]
    #1936792 - 09/21/03 02:07 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Omens of what, do you think?


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InvisibleSclorch
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Re: zwan/omens/synchronicity/I declare myself of faith/born2love [Re: Shroomism]
    #1938080 - 09/21/03 04:18 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Maybe it's an omen that Billy Corgan will die soon.


--------------------
Note: In desperate need of a cure...


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OfflineMalachi
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Re: zwan/omens/synchronicity/I declare myself of faith/born2love [Re: Shroomism]
    #1938193 - 09/21/03 05:13 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomism said:
Omens of what, do you think?




well, mostly they seem to be strangely placed lessons, like someone had set up situations so that I would see a specific point, or so that the situation would seem ridiculous or irrational beyond even my belief. basically I feel almost like I'm being put on.

but of course that's a way more irrational idea than that these are just "signs" or "omens" or "synchronicities" whatever words different cultures use to identify these things that I'm talking about. essentially "messages from god".

like really odd unplanned but synchronic meetings/arrivals/etc.

other stuff too, but they seem too stupid to even further my point, even to me. one such example... I was driving from one friends house back to anothers'. I was at a stoplight, and there was a van next to me. I notice it's gas cap lid was off. so I motioned to the occupants, they saw the problem, and mimed their appreciation.
as I near the other friends house, I see another car with the same problem. at first I think "yay, this is great, I'll help out 2 people for the same problem, I rock!" but then I realize that this one's gas cap lid isn't just open, it's ripped off.
so I couldn't help them at all, they already knew.

obviously I don't mean that the gas cap incident is a portent/ prophecy, I just think that it seemed an oddly timed lesson.. like I was thinking too much about the good vibes I'd get, like I was being gluttonous in the happiness that I would get from feeding off of good energy.

but that seems like a fucked up lesson, as I think it's good to wallow in good vibes.

I think it's much more likely that these things I've been seeing are projections of my own psyche trying to resolve internal delimeas... like if I'm stagnating or not, basically "what is my will" type subconscious warring going on...

more succinctly put, I think that I might on some level have anxiety over the possibility that feeding on happy music, drugs, socializing, being responsible, basically everything that would get you good energy in return- is inauthentic, that the whole system of getting energy and giving it out is bullshit, that everyone ought to do things only for the benefit of the ones they're doing it for- not because of the good happy feeling you get from helping them.

I just in the case of drugs, this might be why I like them so much. I cut my energy debt. it's just for me, I'm not feeding on someone elses energy. but at the same time I can't possibly see how that's wrong, the feeding/giving relationship of what we call "happy" or "love", etc, ought to be a mutually beneficial , but in a way it seems to be mutually parasitic, always eating each other.




--------------------
The ultimate meaning of our being can only be fulfilled in the paradoxical leap beyond the tragic-demonic frustration. It is a leap from our side, but it is the self-surrendering presence of the Ground of Being from the other side.
- Paul Tillich


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OfflineMalachi
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Registered: 06/19/02
Posts: 1,294
Loc: Around Minneapolis.
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: zwan/omens/synchronicity/I declare myself of faith/born2love [Re: Sclorch]
    #1938195 - 09/21/03 05:15 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Sclorch said:
Maybe it's an omen that Billy Corgan will die soon.




look, don't make fun of me.

it's quite pretentious for you to come onto a shroom tripping message board and mock someone for tripping out.

or not. or trying to figure out if he is or not.


--------------------
The ultimate meaning of our being can only be fulfilled in the paradoxical leap beyond the tragic-demonic frustration. It is a leap from our side, but it is the self-surrendering presence of the Ground of Being from the other side.
- Paul Tillich


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Offlinefireworks_godS
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Re: zwan/omens/synchronicity/I declare myself of faith/born2love [Re: Malachi]
    #1938226 - 09/21/03 05:29 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Malachi said:
well, mostly they seem to be strangely placed lessons, like someone had set up situations so that I would see a specific point, or so that the situation would seem ridiculous or irrational beyond even my belief.  basically I feel almost like I'm being put on. 




This is a good outlook to have, man. I often times find that I experience most everything for some reason, some lesson to learn from so I can use that lesson to further my evolution to higher understanding and awareness.

There is no way to prove this, of course, but I sometimes feel that all experiences happen for a reason. Sometimes people don't learn from them (if this is planned or not, not sure), but the more I acknowledge this, the more I find evidence of it. It isn't exactly a bad belief to have going, either, because it does ultimately lead to you examining what is going on in your life and learning from what happens, which gets you going in the direction you wish to go a lot faster.

Quote:


obviously I don't mean that the gas cap incident is a portent/ prophecy, I just think that it seemed an oddly timed lesson.. like I was thinking too much about the good vibes I'd get, like I was being gluttonous in the happiness that I would get from feeding off of good energy.

but that seems like a fucked up lesson, as I think it's good to wallow in good vibes.




It's all about balance. The world does not exist in some sort of state where one thing is true or right and nothing else. Perfect balance. Once imbalance occurs, it is then corrected, pushed into balance.

I seem to go through such a pattern: I come into a state where I feel good and my mind is clear, negative patterns don't bother me. I always then seem to slip into a state later on where I am looking at everything from a more negative, downer sort of headset, and I always seem to then come back to an even higher state of mind..

It goes on from that, too. It isn't like a circle constantly going around. It is more of a spiral. It makes me think of those corkscrew wind things that people hang up. The pattern is always going around, from the negative state up to the positive state, but each time it comes back down, it doesn't come completely down, and when it goes back up, it goes up just a bit further. Two steps forward, one step back...

This can also work the other way, One step forward, Two steps back.. That just depends on what you are learning, I guess..

Anyways, don't know if you see what I am saying, but I am growing tired.. :grin:
Peace.


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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