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Can't tell if we're friendzoning each other or not
    #19346801 -

Okay, so I've got this friend who it seems like I've got some sexual tension with, let's call her Mary.  For instance, she asked me if I thought it would be funny if she told my ex (not ex at the time) that we'd made out as an April Fools joke, that sort of thing.  She's been calling me love, daddy, or papi, sending me <3 texts, etc. for months now.

Thing is, the girl is the ex of a close friend of mine who she's still pretty in love with so I always sort of blew those things off.  One time, through a complicated series of events, we ended up sleeping together in the same bed for several nights.  After a few nights though, she stopped sleeping in the bed with me and moved out to the couch.  After a couple of days of that, she told me that the reason she'd done that was she'd woken up one morning and I was cuddling her and had her boob in my hand.  I don't doubt this, I sleep very soundly and have a tendency to cuddle. I apologized and she slept in bed w/ me after that until we both moved out of that living situation, just with a pillow between us.

I'd thought that that was pretty firm proof that the tension was just in my head, but lately she's been doing so many flirty things that I'm starting to think I'm crazy.  Like she's been calling me up late at night and on Christmas she called me stud in a text.  She called me "sweet prince" for my birthday.  And on the other hand she's moving into my place for a bit while she finds a new apartment (I'm out of town for a bit) and she asked if she could bang this guy she's sort of been seeing on my bed while she was there.  She's also been helping me out w/ my girl problems with the girls I've been dating.  All these things make me feel weird and uncomfortable and I've no idea what's going on.  Could someone shed a little light?


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Edited by sonamdrukpa (12/30/13 03:36 PM)

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Re: Can't tell if we're friendzoning each other or not [Re: sonamdrukpa]
    #19347068 -

She is probably thinking "is this guy ever going to make a move".  Asking about seeing another guy could just be one of these tests girls tend to do. 

Only one way to find out.


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This is the only time I really feel alive.

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Re: Can't tell if we're friendzoning each other or not [Re: baraka]
    #19347139 -

Before you do anything, if you say this chick was your good friends ex then you need to talk to him about it first because he might not be ok with this situation


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Re: Can't tell if we're friendzoning each other or not [Re: FruitOfLife]
    #19347337 -

He's dicked her around in the past, he has a new girlfriend he says he's in love with right now...plus it seems like there may have been something going on with one of my exes and him in the past.  So I'm not worried about violating the bro code and we've always been able to talk out any bad will between us anyway.  Plus I don't have any plans of making a move even if I knew she was interested - I've been in a really bad spot since around when all this started happening and that doesn't look like it's going to end soon...this girl's my best friend and I need her psychologically.  I need her to be my friend; having a lover when I'm like this has been bad news in the past.

I just want to know what's going on because I feel weird and awkward and if she's been crushing on me this whole time then that would make me feel even more weird and awkward so I'm too afraid to even bring it up with her.


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Re: Can't tell if we're friendzoning each other or not [Re: sonamdrukpa]
    #19348954 -

sonamdrukpa said:
And on the other hand she's moving into my place for a bit while she finds a new apartment (I'm out of town for a bit) and she asked if she could bang this guy she's sort of been seeing on my bed while she was there.  She's also been helping me out w/ my girl problems with the girls I've been dating.  All these things make me feel weird and uncomfortable and I've no idea what's going on.  Could someone shed a little light?


This is a VERY strong indication that you are friend zoned.  People who are interested in someone do not ask them if it's cool if they bang someone else on their bed as a "test."  Instead of getting all hung up on this shit, make her your wing woman and pull 30 women instead of just 1.  Thank me later.


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"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

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Re: Can't tell if we're friendzoning each other or not [Re: All We Perceive]
    #19349387 -

Cool.  That helps a lot.


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Re: Can't tell if we're friendzoning each other or not [Re: sonamdrukpa]
    #19354790 -

You're freindzoned and you should keep it that way. Sounds like she isn't for settling down yet. She's still playing jealousy games so don't get involved. 

Having said that i've been in a similar position with a girl.  Spent tonnes of times together, shared beds but never went anywhere. It was fun at the time and I was getting interested in a relationship but i'm glad i didn't.  A friend hooked up with her and she became a total bitch within the relationship.  Had to be the center of attention at all times and get her way.


On the plus side, it's easier to find girls when you've been hanging around with one already.  Seeing her so close to you signals that you are boyfriend material which should make you more desirable.
Continue to have fun and use the situation to your advantage to start looking for someone you can settle into a relationship with. Start networking through her friends if needs be.

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Re: Can't tell if we're friendzoning each other or not [Re: All We Perceive]
    #19357837 -

All We Perceive said:
sonamdrukpa said:
And on the other hand she's moving into my place for a bit while she finds a new apartment (I'm out of town for a bit) and she asked if she could bang this guy she's sort of been seeing on my bed while she was there.  She's also been helping me out w/ my girl problems with the girls I've been dating.  All these things make me feel weird and uncomfortable and I've no idea what's going on.  Could someone shed a little light?


This is a VERY strong indication that you are friend zoned.  People who are interested in someone do not ask them if it's cool if they bang someone else on their bed as a "test."  Instead of getting all hung up on this shit, make her your wing woman and pull 30 women instead of just 1.  Thank me later.



lol this

no girl asks the dude they like if they can fuck another dude on your bed

jus sayin


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Tom Brady is a God

Free Tom Brady

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Re: Can't tell if we're friendzoning each other or not [Re: Bassfreak]
    #19357859 -

Women aren't as timid as most men think.

- she moved out of your bed specifically because you made a move (boob grab).
- its been months and she hasn't made a move.
- she wants to bang on your bed.

She's just not that into you.  If you really need confirmation, give it a shot and see what happens.


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...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436

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Re: Can't tell if we're friendzoning each other or not [Re: badchad]
    #19357879 -

your over-thinking this one big time man!

whatever's meant to be, will be..everything else is just another memory.


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"You didn’t come into this world. You came out of it, like a wave from the ocean. You are no stranger here."


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Re: Can't tell if we're friendzoning each other or not [Re: Rafiikii]
    #19360082 -

Meet her, see how she acts, if she's positive, be a little male-ish dominant and gently slap her ass, toss her with a toe while you're both seated down, see how she reacts. Don't expect too much of it, maybe she really needs a "kick"-start, maybe she'll show you a better time later on ans probably it won't be forever, but who knows.

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Re: Can't tell if we're friendzoning each other or not [Re: All We Perceive]
    #19363701 -

All We Perceive said:
sonamdrukpa said:
And on the other hand she's moving into my place for a bit while she finds a new apartment (I'm out of town for a bit) and she asked if she could bang this guy she's sort of been seeing on my bed while she was there.  She's also been helping me out w/ my girl problems with the girls I've been dating.  All these things make me feel weird and uncomfortable and I've no idea what's going on.  Could someone shed a little light?


This is a VERY strong indication that you are friend zoned.  People who are interested in someone do not ask them if it's cool if they bang someone else on their bed as a "test."  Instead of getting all hung up on this shit, make her your wing woman and pull 30 women instead of just 1.  Thank me later.


It's possible she just really likes sex and would fuck him too, but she feels like he's not into it.

If OP is trying to figure this shit out based on "hints" and "clues," he never will.  You want to know if she'd fuck you?  Ask.


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I'd hit it.

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