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morrowasted
Worldwide Stepper



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George Carlin: The Paradox of Our Time 2
#19345631 - 12/30/13 09:48 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete. Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away. George Carlin




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Tmethyl
Smear in the shale


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Re: George Carlin: The Paradox of Our Time [Re: morrowasted] 3
#19345711 - 12/30/13 10:19 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Fucking brilliant, Carlin is one of the few people I respect and admire.
Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?
I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade.
Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it.
There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is! 399,993 to 7. They must really be baaaad. They must be OUTRAGEOUS to be separated from a group that large. “All of you words over here, you seven….baaaad words.” That’s what they told us, right? …You know the seven, don’t ya? That you can’t say on TV? Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
You can prick your finger — just don’t finger your prick.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.
I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos.
Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature.
So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” Anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family.
Catholic — which I was until I reached the age of reason.
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them; I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
I’ve never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.
Once you leave the womb, conservatives don’t care about you until you reach military age. Then you’re just what they’re looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.
“One thing leads to another”? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
Property is theft. Nobody “owns” anything. When you die, it all stays here.
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.
My favorite piece: Modern Man
So many good quotes, I could go on for hours.
-------------------- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Edited by Tmethyl (12/30/13 10:21 AM)
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collinZzZz
have moicy!



Registered: 12/30/08
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Re: George Carlin: The Paradox of Our Time [Re: morrowasted] 1
#19345714 - 12/30/13 10:20 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Crying at starbux.
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"I have never freed myself from the suspicion that there is something very odd about this mission."
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Synthe
Gatorade me, bitch!



Registered: 11/10/12
Posts: 7,961
Loc: Three bags of Funyuns
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Re: George Carlin: The Paradox of Our Time [Re: collinZzZz]
#19345743 - 12/30/13 10:30 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
collinZzZz said: Crying at starbux.
Dem feels doe
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morrowasted
Worldwide Stepper



Registered: 10/30/09
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Re: George Carlin: The Paradox of Our Time [Re: Synthe]
#19345753 - 12/30/13 10:35 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Thank you for that, Tmethyl.
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morrowasted
Worldwide Stepper



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Re: George Carlin: The Paradox of Our Time [Re: morrowasted]
#19355547 - 01/01/14 05:23 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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I feel like such an ass. Apparently George Carlin didn't say this.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/paradox.asp
I totally quoted this in front of a huge group of people last night as having been originated by George Carlin, and the kind of people it was I know were too nice to have corrected me even if they knew the truth, which I bet at least one of them did.
I hope these people understand that this is a commonly made mistake and don't think I'm idiot for misattributing the quote.
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gzuf
٩(̾๏̮̮̃̾๏̃̾)۶



Registered: 07/13/09
Posts: 6,535
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Re: George Carlin: The Paradox of Our Time [Re: morrowasted]
#19355588 - 01/01/14 05:36 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
George Carlin
Greatest comedian ever.
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Tmethyl
Smear in the shale


Registered: 07/16/12
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Re: George Carlin: The Paradox of Our Time [Re: gzuf]
#19356077 - 01/01/14 08:05 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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So what Marrow.  The name of the person doesn't change the sentiment.
You did a brave and inspirational thing, my friend.
-------------------- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Quawonk
Nobody Special


Registered: 03/20/13
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Re: George Carlin: The Paradox of Our Time [Re: Tmethyl] 1
#19357370 - 01/02/14 05:36 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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The best ten minutes of his career right here:
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iarphairc
Stranger Danger



Registered: 06/26/09
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Re: George Carlin: The Paradox of Our Time [Re: Quawonk]
#19357445 - 01/02/14 06:45 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Oh god that quote about half the people being stupider than the average person is terrifying.
Though the potential in me to become a social engineering benevolent dictator says they can be manipulated easily into doing the right thing even if they dont know why
-------------------- The secret of freedom lies in educating people, whereas the secret of tyranny is in keeping them ignorant- Maximilien Robespierre
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Shortknight



Registered: 02/25/13
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Re: George Carlin: The Paradox of Our Time [Re: iarphairc]
#19357556 - 01/02/14 08:22 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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George Carlin very emphatically denied he had had anything to do with "Paradox," a piece he referred to as "a sappy load of shit,"
I do admire that man Must be the most humble person I know! Hahaha
Great read, thanks for posting! I'm going to have to share it along too!
 Shorty
-------------------- Did I say it too loud? Big heart? Or a little misleading!
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Tmethyl
Smear in the shale


Registered: 07/16/12
Posts: 16,431
Loc: Florida
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Re: George Carlin: The Paradox of Our Time [Re: Quawonk]
#19357557 - 01/02/14 08:23 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Quawonk said: The best ten minutes of his career right here:
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morrowasted
Worldwide Stepper



Registered: 10/30/09
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Re: George Carlin: The Paradox of Our Time [Re: Quawonk]
#19357612 - 01/02/14 08:58 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Quawonk said: The best ten minutes of his career right here:
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iarphairc
Stranger Danger



Registered: 06/26/09
Posts: 400
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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Re: George Carlin: The Paradox of Our Time [Re: Quawonk]
#19359850 - 01/02/14 05:39 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Thank you for providing me with what promises to be hours of entertainment and thought provokement
-------------------- The secret of freedom lies in educating people, whereas the secret of tyranny is in keeping them ignorant- Maximilien Robespierre
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